Is it ok to be with someone who....

Been with my wife for almost 25 years now. I still get tongue-tied around her. I still get excited by her gaze, her touch, her smell. And she feels the same way. I always catch her looking at me when she thinks I am distracted by something else and I am always sneaking a peek at her too.

This is kind of funny to me. This girl initially, prior to this comment:

He did mention that he knows of someone else that he might have a chance with, but he doubts, she's obviously skinnier.

Seemed to have found the one guy on the planet that has shown that he feels what's underneath counts more than what's on the outside...and everyone told her to leave him lol!! On any other post, when the guy doesn't seem attracted, he's an *kitten* for putting the outside before the inside!

Do not ever settle for a man who merely accepts you. If he doesn't want you desperately, you are wasting your time.

Initially, for sure. If you're lucky, it'll stay that way forever (I make it my business to make sure it stays that way, I couldn't live without that...and the surest way to get it, is to give it)...most of the time though...it doesn't. So unless you plan on getting a divorce every time things get to that comfortable place where 'wants you desperately' takes a back seat to 'wants sleep desperately', you might want to do some serious thinking on that matter.

Says that they are not attracted to your body.

They don't ridicule you, they don't mention it, they never mention that you need to lose weight, none of that.

You don't find this out until you dig, and dig into a different subject and this comes out.

"I don't think it's rite for you to be attracted to me, but me not attracted to you"

Emotionally, we are great.

I say physical can change, and if he isn't going to ridicule me about it then it's not that big of a deal, in time, I'll be the person I want to be. He says "its hot when" and " your so beautiful/hot when you...." during sex, but...

My "other hand" says, I need him to say I'm pretty, I need him to think I'm hot. But that's the hand I'm trying to chop off...the one that "needs" someone else to say that to me.

wait wait wait.... hes not attracted to you and hes telling you about a girl he might have a shot with?? Cut and run dear. This will not end well for you.

Don't be with, or be friends with, anyone who doesn't value the relationship as much as you do. Everyone needs to be considered attractive and if he, the one person who should most be able to, can't tell you you're pretty, dump him.

Sounds like everyone is judging this guy as a *kitten* when really at worst he is in a relationship with someone who he has either grown apart from, or misjudged his level of interest in the beginning.

As for what the OP should do - well I think everyone can probably agree that whatever they think of both parties, there are clearly issues. It's all fine and well to keep bumbling on out of comfort, but you will both wind up resenting each other. He will resent you if he doesn't find you attractive, and you will resent him for not letting you go and being stuck in an unhappy relationship.

The obvious course of action is to call a day on it. However, reading that in an internet forum isn't going to make your mind up. Breaking up with someone is almost as bad as being broken up with. Especially when you love that person and are making the decision based on your head, not your heart.

I think over time hopefully you will get the courage up.

Also - no matter what you are going to have to go back to being single for a period of time, that is unless you get someone lined up to go to which is not a good idea because a) that is essentially cheating (in fact, in my opinion, it is worse on a lot of levels) and b) going straight into another relationship isn't usually the best course of action, especially when you will still be in love with this guy - you need to take time off and get your head straight.

Just my thoughts...

Thank you.
There's a song over here that sums up my feelings perfectly.

"You Don't Know Her Like I Do"

Hey old friend, thanks for callin'
It's good to know somebody cares
Yeah she's gone, but I don't feel like talkin'
It might be just too much to bear
To hear somebody say it stops hurting
Or to hear somebody say she ain't worth it

'Cause you don't know her like I do
You'll never understand
You don't know we've been through
That girl's my best friend
And there's no way you're gonna help me
She's the only one who can
No, you don't know how much I've got to lose
You don't know her like I do

I can't forget, I'm drowning in these memories
It fills my soul with all the little things
And I can't cope, it's like a death inside the family
It's like she stole my way to breathe
So don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting
And don't try to tell me she ain't worth it

Cause you don't know her like I do
You'll never understand
You don't know we've been through
That girl's my best friend
And there's no way you're gonna help me
She's the only one who can
No, you don't know how much I've got to lose
You don't know her like I do

You don't know her like I do
You'll never understand
You don't know we've been through
That girl's my best friend
There's no way you're gonna help me
She's the only one who can
No, you don't know how much I've got to lose
No, you'll never know how much I've got to lose
You don't know her like I do

Not like I do
Never understand
That girl's my best friend
That girl's my best friend
That girl's my best friend.

It will take time to mourn the loss of my friend. I know more people than naught are simply telling me to forget him, and just leave, I do deserve to be treated at least the way I treat others, it's just hard to believe that there's someone else out there, that has a heart as big as mine.


Anyway...enough blubbering thank you.