Rude comments and relapsing

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  • sfoxy219
    sfoxy219 Posts: 103
    My dad made the comment "At least taking you out would be cheap, all you eat is salads if that." Ok yeah I went through a stage when i was 15-21 where I would try to not eat and I purged a lot. I'm trying to not be in that mind frame now. Comments like that make me want to go back to that for some reason. I told him I had fijitas a few weeks ago and he said "you eat that stuff now?"
  • DaisyHamilton
    DaisyHamilton Posts: 575 Member
    My dad made the comment "At least taking you out would be cheap, all you eat is salads if that." Ok yeah I went through a stage when i was 15-21 where I would try to not eat and I purged a lot. I'm trying to not be in that mind frame now. Comments like that make me want to go back to that for some reason. I told him I had fijitas a few weeks ago and he said "you eat that stuff now?"

    That sounds a helluva lot like what I've been going through!
  • pattan59801
    pattan59801 Posts: 142
    First, I want to say that you're absolutely stunning!




    Totally Agree!!!
  • Mceastes
    Mceastes Posts: 303 Member
    I really don't think it's appropriate to make remarks about how someone eats. My stomach is my business! Sounds like with all the remarks you described her making to you and others that it's just how she is. So my advice to you would be: Don't expect someone with a history of rude comments to suddenly stop making them. It's probably only going to set you up to be disappointed. I wouldn't worry about changing her so much as changing your expectations of her. This mindset has really helped me in dealing with my family. Next time she makes her snide remarks you can counter with something like, "Oh, there you go again - being super supportive! Could you get any sweeter?" I find sarcasm spoken with confidence sends a strong message.

    Incidentally, I'm at my goal weight (only had to lose 12 pounds though) and I've never deprived myself of an occasional treat. In fact I had ice cream today with my son and it was damn good! I also ran 4 miles today too so it all balances out. I totally understand some people think you should shun all sugar if you're trying to be fit or lose weight, but I don't believe that. To each his own! :bigsmile:
  • shunima
    shunima Posts: 13 Member
    But Auntie, some ice cream now and then helps me a lot to stay sane and you know... right now I really need that!

    Get your ice cream, have a burger if you want one, enjoy life! The others are so right, as long as your overall intake is less than what your body burns, who gives a $#/T.

    A few pound less might make you more attractive or pretty. But it's happiness that makes you shine and beautiful.

    And discipline tastes a lot better when it comes together with ice cream :-)
  • pattan59801
    pattan59801 Posts: 142
    I'm not sure what I'm asking for--maybe a way to help boost my confidence after things like this? Maybe a way to forget about these comments? I'm not really sure what I want...
    [/quote]



    message me and I will give you my number and you can text me anytime you need to talk
  • taylmarie
    taylmarie Posts: 161
    Just laugh and say, "if you want, I can coach you on how to lose weight too, while enjoying a little ice cream here and there".

    well said!!
  • irisheyez718
    irisheyez718 Posts: 677 Member
    I have ice cream just about every night at midnight. You mean I can't do that?!?
  • angng
    angng Posts: 137 Member
    Not being mean, but those comments have a good point.

    If you are eating healthy and exercising, why are you eating ice cream at 11pm? I'd probably say something too.

    I wish I had someone around like that to keep me from giving in. It's easier when you have other people who will dig at you when your eating bad.

    It doesn't matter what POINT you think those comments are making: it's no one else's business or duty to police what someone else is eating (or someone else's body, etc).
  • ShaeSweetie
    ShaeSweetie Posts: 156 Member
    Oh girl! i am in the same boat. My mom was always having up and down weight problems as a kid so she takes it out on me i think. I love her to death but sometimes she will just be like..."you have really gained weight lately, i think you should watch what your eating". Or if she sees me go to the fridge or something she will be like "didnt you eat already?" That kinda stuff drives me crazy and immediately i get all "screw her im gonna go throw up then! see how she likes that!"..but i realized thats never the way to go. The best way to deal with that kinda stuff is to give it right back and then shake it off! When your aunt said that i would have been like yeah im eating something unhealthy..AND WHAT!? haha but mainly what i do is flip it around. When someone says something mean i hold onto it for a bit and then reverse it. I say well let me kick *kitten* so the next time i see this person they eat their words! Good luck! =)
  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
    I haven't read everything, but I'm sure someone has already said this: if someone has a big deal with you eating something less than healthy, they've probably got some issues of their own. If anyone questioned my eating habits, my first reaction would be to ask what they eat on a regular basis, and then tell them to shut off their holier-than-thou attitude.

    As I did see someone else say, ice cream isn't the healthiest thing, but it is healthy to enjoy some of these things. Honestly, I think if you refuse yourself all those things you liked before you were dieting, you're more likely relapse and fall even harder into a binge. It's good to reward yourself for all your effort now and again. I finally got back down to 138 today and I had a very, very small serving of orange cream milkshake/smoothie/whatever. AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. And when it got a little later and I got hungry again? I steamed some salmon and asparagus when I could have had ice cream.

    TL;DR -- Don't let criticism of people who don't even eat healthily bother you, and be sure to reward yourself with a treat now and again.
  • angng
    angng Posts: 137 Member
    Girl, if you want to eat ice cream for every meal you wouldn't hear my criticism unless you ASKED for it. None of my business.
  • BrionyTallis
    BrionyTallis Posts: 90 Member
    Well I guess neverstray isn't the only one on the negative bandwagon. It is a a shame the your Aunt would not only treat you this way but your younger sister as well. You mention your Aunt has already been told this before but not by whom. You also mention that she has never talked to you this way before. If she has never talked to you this way before and you have never discussed this matter with her about her disrespect and hurtfulness then it is your responsibility to have the discussion with her now. And yes, it will not be an easy or pleasant conversation. However, as mentioned before you still have to take responsibility for your own feelings and actions.

    Of more concern to me is your sister, are your parents aware of the comments your aunt is directing towards her? Rhetorical question. Perhaps if you have the above conversation with your aunt then your sister will reap some of the benefits. It sure would be great if she did and to me that would be a win-win situation if I ever saw one.
  • crystal637
    crystal637 Posts: 10
    I find that the people who aren't trying to better their lives are always the ones who are critical of the people who are. They try to sabotage your progress with negative comments or even tempting you by bringing over treats or baked goods when they know you are trying to be good. I've lost almost 30 pounds and the people who need to lose weight are always criticizing me for being too skinny. The people who don't need to lose weight tell me I look good and are impressed with my discipline and progress. It's hard not to be affected by the comments, but always consider the source. A little ice cream treat here or there is what keeps you on track. Not ever allowing yourself the occasional ice cream treat is what makes you end up eating the whole tub. it's almost midnight and I just had a petite apple pie from Starbucks. I know I shouldn't eat this late even though I ran 25 km today, but I wanted that little pie and I'm an adult so I will have the little pie and enjoy it. if I'm doing this every night then it's a problem. What is the joy to life if you can't enjoy it. We can't always be good, but if we are at least trying then we are on the right track. I was told that we all have a white (positive) cat and a black (negative) cat in our head. It's up to us which one we feed. When the rude comments come, feed the white cat. Tell yourself that you're doing just fine and nobody is going to tell you different. We all get a little down sometime and need encouragement. Just remember, feed the white cat and it will grow. ^..^
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