Being Shallow...
jcameron731
Posts: 69
in Chit-Chat
I need some help understanding why when people begin to lose weight and begin a new life. They become shallow..your the same person you were when you had a couple of pounds, however now when you lose some weight and get back into shape you brain changes..you realize....WOW I look good and can be the stuck up person that everyone hated in High School. The one that walked around knowing they could have anyone in school, if they flexed their muscles or batted their eye lashes just right in your direction..
Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.
So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...
Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.
So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...
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Replies
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I don't know about shallow in my case. I am the same person that I have always been. I am generally a very kind, empathetic person. But the one thing that has changed is that I was willing to settle for many years, I wasn't worth enough to invest in myself. That's not the case anymore.0
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Since looks have never been part of my allure, I doubt losing a couple pounds is going change me. Still going to have to work on my personality.0
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I'm still fat, but I've always been shallow.0
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Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....0
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Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....
I actually don't know anybody who's changed like that when they've lost weight. I know that with myself, when i'm at a smaller size i'm happier with myself and more confident.0 -
^ Hehe. (to the fat-shallow person)
I lost a ton of weight ages ago, but didn't become *****y because of it. Possibly because I still feel fat. There might be a mega-***** inside me somewhere...0 -
Over compensating for the continuation of a low self esteem, maybe?0
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I don't think it's people being shallow. I think it's people finally being confident in themselves.0
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It seems to me the healthier and leaner I get, the nicer I am. Maybe I am not so mad at the world as I was. So speak for yourself.
Also, this is a blanket statement. Unless you have met every person that has lost weight, and they are like this, then it does not apply.0 -
I can only speak for myself - but when I was a higher weight, I let people walk all over me, i had low self-esteem and would not be looking out for my best interests.
40 lbs later (not all on MFP...) I'm more confident and not willing to let people dominate me and control me...so I don't think it's shallowness, but maybe confidence in themselves and their ability to speak up.
I'm getting the impression this has something to do with a personal experience you had? If so, none of us can answer to that except for that person.0 -
I was in a boring relationship for two and a half years. When I started losing weight I stopped being ashamed of myself, and realised that I deserve a relationship that I'm happy to be in. I've always had low self esteem, and now I don't. I'm not shallow in the slightest, but losing weight showed me that I don't have to settle for second best. :flowerforyou:0
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Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....
I don't know anyone who has experienced this kind of change either, but maybe they are subconsciously lashing out over how they were treated when they were heavier.
And I don't think anyone can lose a significant amount of weight and not have their personality be affected by it. Some people change for the better, some don't. But it takes a tremendous internal shift to motivate a person to lose that much weight in the first place, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect that who they are now will be the same as who they were before. That's not an excuse to treat people like garbage, but it's just as big of a psychological change as it is a physical one.0 -
the only people i play the shallow *kitten* card with are the skinny people from my high school days. since high school, most of them have porked out and i got thin. they deserve every horrible thing that comes with being overweight. towards everyone else, i'm still pretty nice. my boyfriend says i'm actually nicer to people now because i'm more outgoing and confident.0
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I need some help understanding why when people begin to lose weight and begin a new life. They become shallow..your the same person you were when you had a couple of pounds, however now when you lose some weight and get back into shape you brain changes..you realize....WOW I look good and can be the stuck up person that everyone hated in High School. The one that walked around knowing they could have anyone in school, if they flexed their muscles or batted their eye lashes just right in your direction..
Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.
So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...
I dont think my personality has changed to this extent but no longer do I allow people to take advantage of me and I find the people that say I have changed for the worse personality wise were the ones who took advantage of me in the first place...0 -
I'm the same person I was at 203lbs - well, except that I'm way happier with me and my life. I'm not stuck up, I don't think I'm better than you, nor do I think I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. I'm still me. I'm sure losing weight changes some people, but not everyone. What I look like on the outside doesn't determine whether I'm a good person or not - that is on the inside. And the inside didn't change.
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I was the fat kid in high school that everyone bounce off wall lockers. As far as I know I havent changed other then being tons more self-confident.
I am 100% certain my wife, kids and gym partner will inform me when I start becoming a stuck up *kitten*.0 -
yeah this sounds like you're talking about someone specifically. I'm a Nana and no beauty. If I got skinny as Cindy Crawford STILL gonna be a plain old lady.
When your mother advises you that you'd better learn to be a good cook cause you're NEVER gonna 'catch a man' with your looks alone you have NO illusions about your sex appeal. lol
If I act 'snobby' or whatever it's not because I think I'm too cute - it's because of YOU. I don't like arrogant, overbearing men who think they're God's gift and pretty much shoot them down on sight.
Besides, this woman you're referring to - is she the only woman in your area? If you/I don't like someone's looks, attitude, car, etc - move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea as they say0 -
Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....
I don't know anyone who has experienced this kind of change either, but maybe they are subconsciously lashing out over how they were treated when they were heavier.
And I don't think anyone can lose a significant amount of weight and not have their personality be affected by it. Some people change for the better, some don't. But it takes a tremendous internal shift to motivate a person to lose that much weight in the first place, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect that who they are now will be the same as who they were before. That's not an excuse to treat people like garbage, but it's just as big of a psychological change as it is a physical one.
I like this answer.0 -
I've totally changed. My eating habits, my routine, my job, my sleeping, my cholestrol, my attitude, I am way way more happy now.
However I am still kind to my fellow person, I have morals, I don't believe in lying, anyone who has ever been caught in a lie has been cut out of my life.
When you change your life so drastically the people around you get really upset and say things like "you have changed" because they feel uncomfortable in their own skin and want to blame you for their downfalls. I don't preach good eating or working out to anyone, in fact most people have no idea how into it I am because it's a personal thing for me.
In no way am I shallow, I just prefer how I feel when I'm in shape and giving my body proper nutrients.0 -
I am a sarcastic caustic dismissive moo-cow now and when I lose *mumble mumble* lbs, I shall just be a leaner meaner more sarcastic version of myself....... with a great bottom.
I shall never be shallow though. That is just a vice too far 0 -
I need some help understanding why when people begin to lose weight and begin a new life. They become shallow..your the same person you were when you had a couple of pounds, however now when you lose some weight and get back into shape you brain changes..you realize....WOW I look good and can be the stuck up person that everyone hated in High School. The one that walked around knowing they could have anyone in school, if they flexed their muscles or batted their eye lashes just right in your direction..
Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.
So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...
Nope, as much as I fight it, I am always the same person inside. :laugh: I know I will never be the female equivalent of the Fonz...I can't snap.
Seriously though...I'm not naive about what you are asking. When I was a teenager one of my good friends had a devastating eating disorder and somehow something like that quickly teaches you lessons about 'appearances' and 'control' and 'acceptance' whether you like it or are ready for it or not.
So no, I"m not shallow in the way that I think you are asking. I might be shallow by judging you based on what newspaper you read though...:huh: :noway:
ETA: That last bit was a joke :flowerforyou: :laugh:
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I can only speak for myself - but when I was a higher weight, I let people walk all over me, i had low self-esteem and would not be looking out for my best interests.
40 lbs later (not all on MFP...) I'm more confident and not willing to let people dominate me and control me...so I don't think it's shallowness, but maybe confidence in themselves and their ability to speak up.
This!!!!0 -
I hope to heck nobody thinks I'm shallow since I've lost weight. I try to be friendly to everyone, and am probably more social now than I was 102 pounds ago.
I have found, however, that certain people at work will actually speak to me now, when they completely ignored me in the past. I find THEM to be shallow as they appear to treat me different now that I've lose weight.0 -
I've never been overweight, but I am healthier than I've ever been and being shallow has never appealed to me.0
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I dont think my personality has changed to this extent but no longer do I allow people to take advantage of me and I find the people that say I have changed for the worse personality wise were the ones who took advantage of me in the first place...
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also THIS Wow...well said.0 -
I spent more of my life being 125/130 than I did at 230 being very overweight was just a bump in the road for me. Now I am getting back to what I consider normal I dont see why my personality should change. I will always be the little ray of sunshine I have always been0
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I don't think it will neccessarily make EVERYONE shallow. However it will make you more confident and if you go overboard than that is when you can be considered shallow.
PERSONALLY speaking...to answer your question...When I was "fatter" than I am (still have a LONG way to go to get a really big head :laugh:) I NEVER....I mean ~NEVER~ looked in the mirror, save to brush my hair or teeth. I hated mirrors and not looking at myself is what helped me be SO overweight. I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. And I also didn't care. Now that I care, and now that I look in the mirror (and some days I kind of like what I see) I don't think that makes me shallow. But to a certain extent you have to care what you look like in order to make the change!0 -
I am a sarcastic caustic dismissive moo-cow now and when I lose *mumble mumble* lbs, I shall just be a leaner meaner more sarcastic version of myself....... with a great bottom.
I shall never be shallow though. That is just a vice too far
:laugh: Good for you! :drinker:0 -
I notice that some people that lose weight develop an aversion to other overweight people. One of my friends is very outspoken about it. When seeing someone particularly large, she makes comments like "How lazy can you get? It's not hard to not be obese." She lost a ton of weight, somewhere around 50lbs. At the beginning she was still very sympathetic to other overweight people but now she's kind of a b.
If I'm gonna diet, I still wanna be me.0 -
I'm the same woman that I was when I started. Just more confident. I'm not judgmental or full of myself. However, I find that women glare at me more nowadays...0
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