Being Shallow...

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jcameron731
jcameron731 Posts: 69
in Chit-Chat
I need some help understanding why when people begin to lose weight and begin a new life. They become shallow..your the same person you were when you had a couple of pounds, however now when you lose some weight and get back into shape you brain changes..you realize....WOW I look good and can be the stuck up person that everyone hated in High School. The one that walked around knowing they could have anyone in school, if they flexed their muscles or batted their eye lashes just right in your direction..

Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.


So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...
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Replies

  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I don't know about shallow in my case. I am the same person that I have always been. I am generally a very kind, empathetic person. But the one thing that has changed is that I was willing to settle for many years, I wasn't worth enough to invest in myself. That's not the case anymore.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Since looks have never been part of my allure, I doubt losing a couple pounds is going change me. Still going to have to work on my personality.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I'm still fat, but I've always been shallow.
  • jcameron731
    jcameron731 Posts: 69
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    Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....
  • JodieElijah
    JodieElijah Posts: 136 Member
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    Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....

    I actually don't know anybody who's changed like that when they've lost weight. I know that with myself, when i'm at a smaller size i'm happier with myself and more confident.
  • JulieH3art
    JulieH3art Posts: 293 Member
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    ^ Hehe. (to the fat-shallow person)

    I lost a ton of weight ages ago, but didn't become *****y because of it. Possibly because I still feel fat. There might be a mega-***** inside me somewhere...
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Over compensating for the continuation of a low self esteem, maybe?
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I don't think it's people being shallow. I think it's people finally being confident in themselves.
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
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    It seems to me the healthier and leaner I get, the nicer I am. Maybe I am not so mad at the world as I was. So speak for yourself.

    Also, this is a blanket statement. Unless you have met every person that has lost weight, and they are like this, then it does not apply.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    I can only speak for myself - but when I was a higher weight, I let people walk all over me, i had low self-esteem and would not be looking out for my best interests.

    40 lbs later (not all on MFP...) I'm more confident and not willing to let people dominate me and control me...so I don't think it's shallowness, but maybe confidence in themselves and their ability to speak up.

    I'm getting the impression this has something to do with a personal experience you had? If so, none of us can answer to that except for that person.
  • DalexD
    DalexD Posts: 236 Member
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    I was in a boring relationship for two and a half years. When I started losing weight I stopped being ashamed of myself, and realised that I deserve a relationship that I'm happy to be in. I've always had low self esteem, and now I don't. I'm not shallow in the slightest, but losing weight showed me that I don't have to settle for second best. :flowerforyou:
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....

    I don't know anyone who has experienced this kind of change either, but maybe they are subconsciously lashing out over how they were treated when they were heavier.

    And I don't think anyone can lose a significant amount of weight and not have their personality be affected by it. Some people change for the better, some don't. But it takes a tremendous internal shift to motivate a person to lose that much weight in the first place, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect that who they are now will be the same as who they were before. That's not an excuse to treat people like garbage, but it's just as big of a psychological change as it is a physical one.
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
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    the only people i play the shallow *kitten* card with are the skinny people from my high school days. since high school, most of them have porked out and i got thin. they deserve every horrible thing that comes with being overweight. towards everyone else, i'm still pretty nice. my boyfriend says i'm actually nicer to people now because i'm more outgoing and confident.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    I need some help understanding why when people begin to lose weight and begin a new life. They become shallow..your the same person you were when you had a couple of pounds, however now when you lose some weight and get back into shape you brain changes..you realize....WOW I look good and can be the stuck up person that everyone hated in High School. The one that walked around knowing they could have anyone in school, if they flexed their muscles or batted their eye lashes just right in your direction..

    Why cant people just be who they were before losing weight..Why do they have to change what is on the inside too? I dont get it.


    So I ask if anyone else has had a experience like this recently...

    I dont think my personality has changed to this extent but no longer do I allow people to take advantage of me and I find the people that say I have changed for the worse personality wise were the ones who took advantage of me in the first place...
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I'm the same person I was at 203lbs - well, except that I'm way happier with me and my life. I'm not stuck up, I don't think I'm better than you, nor do I think I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. I'm still me. I'm sure losing weight changes some people, but not everyone. What I look like on the outside doesn't determine whether I'm a good person or not - that is on the inside. And the inside didn't change. :)
  • swordsmith
    swordsmith Posts: 599 Member
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    I was the fat kid in high school that everyone bounce off wall lockers. As far as I know I havent changed other then being tons more self-confident.

    I am 100% certain my wife, kids and gym partner will inform me when I start becoming a stuck up *kitten*.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    yeah this sounds like you're talking about someone specifically. I'm a Nana and no beauty. If I got skinny as Cindy Crawford STILL gonna be a plain old lady.
    When your mother advises you that you'd better learn to be a good cook cause you're NEVER gonna 'catch a man' with your looks alone you have NO illusions about your sex appeal. lol

    If I act 'snobby' or whatever it's not because I think I'm too cute - it's because of YOU. I don't like arrogant, overbearing men who think they're God's gift and pretty much shoot them down on sight.

    Besides, this woman you're referring to - is she the only woman in your area? If you/I don't like someone's looks, attitude, car, etc - move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea as they say
  • lemonadem
    lemonadem Posts: 398 Member
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    Why do people have to change everything about themselves..I can understand getting confidence and accomplishment...but you to go from being kind and considerate to God's gift to whatever....

    I don't know anyone who has experienced this kind of change either, but maybe they are subconsciously lashing out over how they were treated when they were heavier.

    And I don't think anyone can lose a significant amount of weight and not have their personality be affected by it. Some people change for the better, some don't. But it takes a tremendous internal shift to motivate a person to lose that much weight in the first place, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect that who they are now will be the same as who they were before. That's not an excuse to treat people like garbage, but it's just as big of a psychological change as it is a physical one.

    I like this answer.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
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    I've totally changed. My eating habits, my routine, my job, my sleeping, my cholestrol, my attitude, I am way way more happy now.

    However I am still kind to my fellow person, I have morals, I don't believe in lying, anyone who has ever been caught in a lie has been cut out of my life.

    When you change your life so drastically the people around you get really upset and say things like "you have changed" because they feel uncomfortable in their own skin and want to blame you for their downfalls. I don't preach good eating or working out to anyone, in fact most people have no idea how into it I am because it's a personal thing for me.

    In no way am I shallow, I just prefer how I feel when I'm in shape and giving my body proper nutrients.
  • LondonEliza
    LondonEliza Posts: 456 Member
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    I am a sarcastic caustic dismissive moo-cow now and when I lose *mumble mumble* lbs, I shall just be a leaner meaner more sarcastic version of myself....... with a great bottom.

    I shall never be shallow though. That is just a vice too far :)

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