VENT: Food Pushers & Passive Aggressive "Friends"

I agree about the "no thanks" part. As much as I would like to share with people that I'm trying to get healthy, I also don't want their "input" on how they "lost" weight. I've mentioned it to a couple of my co-workers (I work at a coffee shop) only so they can kindly remind me that I told them I don't want to eat the pastries, so that I can then make an informed and reasonable decision(and even then, those are a select 2 or 3 people). I've not told any of my roommates, and have only told my older sister (who lives in another state). I'm just waiting for when my grandparents find out (which they will when I visit in a few months) because I'm gonna get an earful. ;-) Yes, it's OK to vent, we all need to let off steam. You can do this!

My Mom is like that and she should know better....she's diabetic! When I took care of her for a month, I made it a point to buy my own food but she would still try to badger me about "just one cookie won't hurt".
I was doing her cooking and she was annoyed that I wouldn't prepare 3 starchy foods in the same meal. Can you understand why I developed a raging case of insomnia? I'm headed back there next month but she is now trying to lose weight, so maybe it will be easier this time.

The simple "no thank you" sounds good in theory (and I don't disagree) but some people are SO sensitive and get their feelings all hurt if you choose you over them. Imagine that!

Honestly... I know this is going to sound horrible, but, I really dont care what they think. If Im polite in my saying "no thank you"... it should end right there.

We have this one woman who brags in one way how healthy she eats at home.. and her lunch, and her dinner, yadda yadda yadda, but yet five minutes after eating her healthy lunch, she goes to everyone asking if they would like some of the boxes (literally, BOXES) of the Girl Scout Cookies she has while stuffing her face with those same cookies... She comes up to me and says "would you like some cookies?" I simply said "no thank you".. and as I was turning around to get back to work, she puts the bag on my desk and tries pushing the whole "a few of them wont hurt ya know?"

I took the bag - walked to her desk and came back to mine. I said to her as Im holding back my frustration with her "I said 'no thank you' they will make me very sick with my allergies - Id rather you exclude me from all of the food offerings because Im just going to need to say 'no' each and every time - I just dont want to get sick"..

The fact she had her feelings hurt is not my problem... her lacking ability to LISTEN to the part where I indicated 'they will make me sick" didnt mean jack crap. Sorry but I just dont have sympathy for people if they feel its a personal attack against themselves... especially when I had to make it known walking back to my desk, I DONT WANT TO GET SICK.

Right now as I send this message, I know the cafe didnt clean their knives when they sliced up my hard-boiled egg. My lips are getting raw and Ill eventually have bleeding kankar sores, which means they used the same knife to cut bread - and I cant eat bread... UGH!

Just remember alot of people project out their own nutritional/health issues. You're saying no sounds to them like 'no thanks, you fat pig" (or the like). Its not your job to worry about their delicate egos as long as you're polite in your nos. "I'm sure they're incredibly delicious and I know others will enjoy them, but I am good, thanks anyway!"

Bearing in mind that I'm one of those frequent pusher of sweets on others - "I can't have these, but I wanted to try the recipe - go on and have a taste and tell me what you think"). Yah, I'm that b----ch But I do take 'no' for an answer. I guess I should stop doing that altogether. One of my nearest and dearest said "you don't see recovering alcoholics pushing drinks on their friends. maybe you should find a new hobby"

uh yea. that

Im going on a vacation with a group of my friends in June. We have been planning this for a year. We all vowed that we would lose weight and eat healthier to get ready for the trip. I am the only one who did what they said they would do.. So far I have lost almost 40 lbs. My friends refused to recognize it at all. Thats fine because I'm doing for me and no one else but it kind of hurts my feelings... Oh well... I plan to lose 20 more before we go and another 2o after that... so there nay sayers...lol

Tell her that cookie = about 20 minutes of jumping jacks and you'll be glad to enjoy one if she will join you in doing the exercise first. LOL

To the ones that push crappy food on me....I just take one, wait for them to walk away, and throw it out. They're not all butt-hurt, and I avoided the calories. Win-win! :laugh:

Unfortunately, modern society uses food as its center. It seems like there is always an event or someone trying to push food down your throat. Don't feel one bit bad about saying no, and yes, people do want to see you fail. Then their own shortcomings don't seem as relevant

After doing this for 3 mths, I no longer care what people think and what they put in front of me. I have a choice to eat stuff or not and each time I deny myself something that will harm me, make me fatter, unhealthy, etc., I tell myself that I'm stronger for it! Every time I do it I power up. lol Just tell yourself that you are stronger than them and then be strong! You can do it.
I think that some people fear others being leaner or fitter than them. Let them make their own choices while you make yours. Good luck to you!

Going over my cals a smidge, and maybe having to move a little more that night or the next day, is worth it if I can avoid offending someone and their generosity.

Do you really believe that they are out to get you, and make you fail? Really?

This just happened to me!!!! I got called into work to cover someone who called in sick. I'm not feeling my best either and I made the mistake of commenting to my manager that today is a sit-at-home-on-the-couch-with-a-bag-of-chips day. She brightened and said "I was thinking the same thing! I'll get us each one!"

I got this horrified look on my face and said several times, quite firmly, that I didn't need one, want one, etc. I convinced her to get me a tea instead. She got me a tea...and a bag of mixed nuts. The entire package is 700 calories and I've eaten half of them (lack of self control). She knows I'm trying to count calories and she doesn't understand why. She's my mother's age and feels like my mother, so it's even harder to say no.

Of course, because I ate half the package of nuts, I cannot eat my packed lunch unless I want to go over by 600 calories. I won't have time to burn that off when I get home. :grumble:

I feel you, OP. I feel you.

There will always be "saboteurs" (those who want to sabotage your diet) - it's hard I have been there. Just figure out how to defeat them and you'll be fine.

I have only been on this weight loss journey a few weeks, but I have chosen to be very quiet about it around everyone but my husband (outside of MFP, that is). Why? Because I find when you tell folks you are trying to lose weight, it's just, well, they irritate the crap out of you.

Either they have to tell you all their struggles with losing weight, or they say stupid things like "why? you don't need to lose any weight!" or they become passive aggressive. For example, there is someone in my office who likes to bake and frequently brings in cookies, etc. The last couple of times, I have just avoided the treat, "forgot" to take one. Today, they came in my office with the tray of cookies and asked if I wanted one. I said "no, not right now." Then, they said "well, here, keep one for later." I (stupidly) said, "they look great, but I am really trying to watch what I eat." Then, you get "one cookie won't hurt!" or, later, when you choose to eat something "bad", I can just hear them saying, "I thought you were watching what you eat."

Sometimes it just seems that people WANT you to fail at losing weight; however, I have come to look at my obesity as an illness, and I am working to overcome an illness and get better. If I had cancer, people (I would like to think) would help me/be supportive. Obesity kills you too, so why can't people be supportive when you are losing weight/trying to be healthy??

Bottom line...it's my life, my choices, my journey. I don't care who I piss off because my goal isn't to make anyone happy but me. But I still have to vent occasionally! :grumble:

Just take the cookie and give it to the birds outside or something.

I know what you mean when people say "you don't need to lose weight" or as you said, when you eat something they consider not "diet" they have to comment though.

I remember eating a sandwich in work, somebody took a long look as I unwrapped it and said "I thought you were on a diet?" to which I replied "I am, but I still have to f****** well eat you know!!"

People just don't have a clue half the time, just shake your shoes and continue xxx

These people don't sound passive-aggressive-they just sound aggressive. You would think they would be supportive during a challenging time, but stick with it. Sometimes people can't see past their own experiences and understand how difficult it is when you struggle with your weight. Parents are a whole different story...

You got what you need and you know what you need and want! Everything else doesn't even matter :flowerforyou:

When my mom was trying to lose weight her supportive friends would be supportive, instead of bringing her a burger like everyone else, they brought her a veggie burger.

One morning my manager came in and said "I was going to bring in doughnuts for us to share, but you are trying really hard and trying to be good, so I brought strawberries we can share instead "

You want the type of people who are going to support you like this. Who want to respect what you are doing, but not let you be left out.

Anyone else, making comments, wasting energy being negative to you and you trying to better yourself... really a waste of your time... Especially when there are people out there who would never.

Keep the horns of the bulls in you hands and before you know it it wil be all good