VENT: Food Pushers & Passive Aggressive "Friends"
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My relationships with friends and loved ones are more important that my fitness goals. It doesn't mean that I have to sacrifice one for the other. The key is balance, give-and-take.Bottom line...it's my life, my choices, my journey. I don't care who I piss off because my goal isn't to make anyone happy but me. But I still have to vent occasionally! :grumble:0 -
Pick your battles. A cookie is 80-200 calories (depending how big it is), if it's impolite to refuse one, just take it and have a smaller dinner, or work out 20 minutes longer. You can generally politely refuse though, if it's just a tray left out or something (that's how most people do it)
Keep in mind how annoying vegetarian friends can be, or anyone who has to precede everything they eat with a small life story about what kind of diet they're on. Personally I don't like to be the person who makes everyone else feel bad about what they eat, unless they really need a wakeup call anyways. I try not to make a big deal out of my dietary choices unless someone asks.
At the end of the day you have to take care of yourself, but it's easy forget that it's not everyone else's job to take care of you, or see things the same way you do.0 -
Just be kind but firm in your answer. If they say you don't to lose weight, say thank you but my scale says otherwise.0
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One of my nearest and dearest said "you don't see recovering alcoholics pushing drinks on their friends. maybe you should find a new hobby"
Yes, this!!!0 -
OMG I was that office girl. I love to bake and had a very successful baking blog. I would bring in baked goods at least 3 days a week. The guys would line up for them but the ones who didn't I would hunt down because I wanted the feedback. I'm sure I was the world's worst sugar pusher.
At my job now I don't bake and don't even tell people I can. When someone brings in a treat I make a big deal about it grab a piece and say how I can't wait to try it later. I then head to my office and hide it in the trash. A few hours later I will hunt down the person and thank them. I know it's deceptive- but all they really want is the pat on the back.0 -
Vent away. We've all been there. When people tell me I can't have something or shouldn't have something, I tell them I'm not on a diet and I can eat anything I want when I want to. I'm just modifying what I eat to be healthier. So, if I don't choose to take a cookie, it's because I just don't want it - the bang of the taste isn't worth the buck of the weight.0
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Well said!! It isn't easy when no one else is "on board" with what you're trying to achieve, which is health and inner happiness. I agree with the "just say no" aspect. I've had to deal with it so often myself and I don't make excuses. I smile and say something like "wow, that looks delicious, but no... Thanks for asking!" or something along those lines. And don't worry about hurting someone's over-sensitive feelings, after you say "no" a few times they'll get used to it and eventually stop asking. Who knows, they might even learn by your example and do something about their own health situations! Good luck, love!0
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Yes, because someone minding what they eat is just like a person with a disease like alcoholism. :huh:One of my nearest and dearest said "you don't see recovering alcoholics pushing drinks on their friends. maybe you should find a new hobby"
People aren't offering crack, for Pete's sake.0 -
Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~
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My boss is very good at avoiding unhealthy food. And she is very healthy! We are not allowed to eat anywhere besides the kitchen at work and even when we have staff events she joins in but never eats the cake. I guess where she is the boss it is easy for her! I think it is easier on all of us since she says no. My direct supervisor, a guy who is not very big, is always on a diet too. My food pusher is my mom! She is constantly telling me I don't eat enough and has at least three deserts. My dad is 5'11" and 110 so she is constantly trying to put weight on him! Unfortunatly dad remains small while the rest of us grow bigger!0
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My relationships with friends and loved ones are more important that my fitness goals. It doesn't mean that I have to sacrifice one for the other. The key is balance, give-and-take.Bottom line...it's my life, my choices, my journey. I don't care who I piss off because my goal isn't to make anyone happy but me. But I still have to vent occasionally! :grumble:
Your friends shouldn't be getting bent out of shape if you refuse a cookie they baked or any other food. They would know you better than a coworker or a neighbor and thus could know you had no intention of making them mad, insulting them, or anything else. In other words, if you say "no thanks" they should be okay with that and leave it alone.0 -
I completly understand and agree!! HOLY ****, can I just rant on how when you say, "no thanks" that should be the end of it??!! NOOOOO I cannot even tell you how many times some people WILL NOT TAKE NO for an awsner. "o come on, just one! Here try it! Just a bite! Won't KILL YOU!" DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***No not saying I will NEVER eat a cookie, but I want to know what's in my food! I can look at a package and make an informed decision on what is best for my body as far as additives and crap goes, but when someone hands you something you know is smothered in butter and suger, pass! I sincerly just DO NOT WANT IT, if I did, I would have said, 'Sure!" and chowed down. I have noticed ever since I have been on myfitnesspal and logging my food and making better eating choices I don't even WANT to eat desserts loaded in sugar and butter. I crave veggies and fruits and it's a prettty awsome feeling!0 -
So, are y'all never going to eat another cookie for the rest of your lives?Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~0 -
Yes, because someone minding what they eat is just like a person with a disease like alcoholism. :huh:One of my nearest and dearest said "you don't see recovering alcoholics pushing drinks on their friends. maybe you should find a new hobby"
People aren't offering crack, for Pete's sake.
With all due respect to your opinion.....It can be like offering crack!
ARE YOU AN ADDICT?
Posted on April 3, 2012
What is 4x more addictive than cocaine and heroin?
Has an opiate effect like heroin?
Causes loss of control?
Addicts will continue use despite adverse consequence?
Has a 97% relapse rate (higher than any other drug)!!
Certain types will cause liver damage equal to that of alcohol?
Withdrawal symptoms include:
HEADACHES
TIREDNESS
FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS
CRABBINESS
MOODINESS
AND IS SOLD ON EVERY STREET CORNER IN THE USA?
SUGAR
Sugar comes hidden in many forms:
Brown sugar 91% to 96% sucrose. Confectioner’s sugar, or powdered sugar. Corn syrups Three major producers’ contain 42%, 55% and 90% fructose. Dextrose comprises most of the remainder. Dextrose, or glucose, is also known as corn sugar. High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) twice as sweet as sucrose, twice as addictive and can damage the liver like alcohol Honey. Invert sugar. Lactose, or milk sugar. Levulose, or fructose, is a commercial sugar much sweeter than sucrose. Its sweetness actually depends on its physical form and how it’s used in cooking. Fructose, known as a fruit sugar, occurs naturally in many fruits. Raw sugar consists of coarse, granulated crystals formed from the evaporation of sugar cane juice. Raw sugar contains impurities and cannot be sold in grocery stores due to FDA regulations. Sorbitol, mannitol, malitol and xylitol are sugar alcohols or polyols. They occur naturally in fruits and are produced commercially from such sources as dextrose. Xylitol is a sugar alcohol made from a part of birch trees. Sorbitol, mannitol and malitol are about half as sweet as sucrose. Xylitol has a sweetness equal to sucrose. Sucrose, or table sugar, from sugar cane or sugar beets consists of two simple sugars, glucose and fructose. It is about 99.9% pure and sold in either granulated or powdered form. Turbinado sugar. Breads, muffins, crackers, cereals, bars, protein shakes, yogurt, milk, canned foods, sodas, sports drinks, health drinks, energy drinks all contain added sugar. There is virtually no processed product that does not contain added sugar anymore!
Starches, Sugars, Processed Chocolate, Gluten and casein containing foods all have the same effect and were are high calorie drugs manufactured for addiction. Julia Ross talks candidly about the sugar-drug addiction and it's impact on the world in The Diet Cure.
In 2006 The World Health Organization stated "Our only recommendation for ending the world-wide physical and mental health crisis is to cut all sweetened foods to below 10% of calories (less than 250 calories per day)." 35 million people have degenerative diseases linked to sugar consumption. Every year this substance KILLS more people than TOBACCO and ALCOHOL combined!
So what causes this addiction? Dr. Fuhrman explains:
The science on food addiction has now established that highly palatable foods (low-nutrient, high-calorie, intensely sweet, salty, and/or fatty foods - those that make up the majority of the Standard American Diet) produces the exact biochemical effects in the brain that are characteristic of substance abuse.
Junk food is ubiquitously available, legal, cheap, and socially accepted; therefore, it becomes the drug of choice for many of us.
The following are some characteristics of addiction to a substance or behavior:1
•Compulsive use of the substance despite negative health and social consequences
•Tolerance - over time, progressively greater amounts of the substance are needed to reach and maintain the “highâ€
•Withdrawal symptoms (link toxic hunger) when the substance is discontinued
•Activation of reward pathways (including the dopamine system) in the brain
Many of us have had the experience of tasting a junk food or dessert, and then feeling the intense demand from our brain: “MORE!†We feel a complete lack of control, and our commitment to excellent health all of a sudden doesn’t matter. These feelings originate from the dopamine reward system – dopamine is a neurochemical that regulates motivation, pleasure, and reinforcement related to certain stimuli – such as food. The amount of pleasure we derive from eating a food correlates with the amount of dopamine released in the brain.2
Recent research suggests that overeating and obesity create greater desire for palatable food, but reduce the pleasure derived from consuming these foods – resulting in a progressively worsening addiction.
Need help with your sugar or food addiction? My Health Coaching programs will support you in finding freedom from food and living a balanced and healthy life.
References1Taylor VH, Curtis CM, Davis C: The obesity epidemic: the role of addiction. CMAJ 2010;182:327-328.
2Small DM, Jones-Gotman M, Dagher A: Feeding-induced dopamine release in dorsal striatum correlates with meal pleasantness ratings in healthy human volunteers. Neuroimage 2003;19:1709-1715.
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My relationships with friends and loved ones are more important that my fitness goals. It doesn't mean that I have to sacrifice one for the other. The key is balance, give-and-take.Bottom line...it's my life, my choices, my journey. I don't care who I piss off because my goal isn't to make anyone happy but me. But I still have to vent occasionally! :grumble:
This.0 -
So, are y'all never going to eat another cookie for the rest of your lives?Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~
Well it will not kill me to NOT have one, let's put it that way
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Whenever I see that sugar article I think of Half Baked when Dave Chapelle went to rehab. I'd recite the line but I might get banned lol.0
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Of course not, but one has to learn to find balance. Abstain completely from sugar for the rest of one's life? Really?
Well it will not kill me to NOT have one, let's put it that way
So, are y'all never going to eat another cookie for the rest of your lives?Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~0 -
Yes, because someone minding what they eat is just like a person with a disease like alcoholism. :huh:One of my nearest and dearest said "you don't see recovering alcoholics pushing drinks on their friends. maybe you should find a new hobby"
People aren't offering crack, for Pete's sake.
No, it's not crack. But for some people, stopping at one cookie is extremely difficult. Disordered eating, emotional eating- for someone like this, that one cookie could trigger an ugly binge. You and I may be in an emotionally healthy enough place to accept a single cookie and see it for what it is- an act of sharing. But for someone not that emotionally healthy, that cookie is ominous and represents a big risk.
But I don't think that means others are responsible for your food and health choices. I don't tolerate gluten and grains very well and I usually say "I'd love to have one of your cookies but wheat doesn't agree with me, but they smell fantastic." Or I might ask if it's alright to just break off a bite (I can tolerate that much). But I always try to acknowledge the generosity of the person making the offer. Maybe I've just been lucky, but I've never encountered anyone who wasn't polite and understanding in return.0 -
Of course not, but one has to learn to find balance. Abstain completely from sugar for the rest of one's life? Really?
Well it will not kill me to NOT have one, let's put it that way
So, are y'all never going to eat another cookie for the rest of your lives?Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~
No one's saying to keep away from all sugar for the rest of their lives. This thread's not about that, it's about people who try to push unwanted foodstuffs on to you and in your mouth when you either don't want them or when you know you do not need to be eating it for whatever reason. You can have a cookie if you want it and you know your day won't be ruined for it, but taking it just to shut someone up isn't right.0 -
Being a vegetarian, I get a lot of **** from people about what I eat as well. And there are many, many meat-pushers as well.
"Your diet's not healthy. You don't get enough protein. You should eat meat. Here just taste this. Don't you miss this? Real burgers are healthier than your veggie burgers because they have protein. Veggie burgers are processed and gross."
It's absolutely ridiculous, and though it sounds silly - it hurts. These people aren't only attacking my food, they're attacking my lifestyle. In addition, they're suggesting that I don't have knowledge surrounding the issue. I've been a vegetarian since I was ten years old - and somehow they still seem to think that they know more about vegetarianism than I do.
Bottom line: We don't push our lifestyles on other people (whether vegetarian or just healthy eating.) They shouldn't push their lifestyles on us either.0 -
*shrug* Some people don't think about what they are saying, huh? Don't worry, we're here for you.
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Going over my cals a smidge, and maybe having to move a little more that night or the next day, is worth it if I can avoid offending someone and their generosity.
Do you really believe that they are out to get you, and make you fail? Really?
I doubt anyone is sitting at home every night plotting out the best way to derail someone's diet (though I do think there are plenty of people who, unconsciously and probably out of their own low self-esteem, do things that would sabotage someone). But if someone offers you some food that you don't want or feel it would be okay to eat that day and you politely say "Oh, none for me, but thank you for offering!" and they continue to insist that you eat it, I don't think that really counts as generosity anymore. There's something going on there that isn't a desperate desire to give me some kind of food I might enjoy. Am I supposed to be under some obligation to accept everything I am offered? The only reason they would be offended (if I declined politely, that is) is if they are for some reason tying their self-esteem to whether I want to eat one of their cookies. And if that is the case...well quite frankly that isn't my problem and it's not my job to prop up their egos by eating food that is detrimental to me.0 -
People are comparing sugar to crack and cookies to alcohol for an alcoholic. Unless someone has a serious addition to sugar and/or cookies, the comparison is ridiculous.No one's saying to keep away from all sugar for the rest of their lives.
My point is that these situations will continue to present themselves to all of us. My experience is to be gracious, and weigh the consequences. Would I rather offend my mother-in-law, or just eat the damn cookie? I'd rather eat the damn cookie, watch what I eat the rest of the evening, and/or burn it off later.0 -
The point is that it is your choice to do so. As it is my choice to say no and have that respected. Obesity does kill. So does diabetes and heart disease. And many people got to where they were because one more cookie may lead to 10. No one will force me to eat what I don't want. The people here are just saying they wish others would respect that.
People are comparing sugar to crack and cookies to alcohol for an alcoholic. Unless someone has a serious addition to sugar and/or cookies, the comparison is ridiculous.No one's saying to keep away from all sugar for the rest of their lives.
My point is that these situations will continue to present themselves to all of us. My experience is to be gracious, and weigh the consequences. Would I rather offend my mother-in-law, or just eat the damn cookie? I'd rather eat the damn cookie, watch what I eat the rest of the evening, and/or burn it off later.
I personally don't give a crap. If I say no and you insist I ignore you. A persons feeling are their own responsibility. Not mine.0 -
Maybe I'm blessed with friends and family that don't push to the point that I have to be rude. I dunno.
The point is that it is your choice to do so. As it is my choice to say no and have that respected. Obesity does kill. So does diabetes and heart disease. And many people got to where they were because one more cookie may lead to 10. No one will force me to eat what I don't want. The people here are just saying they wish others would respect that.
People are comparing sugar to crack and cookies to alcohol for an alcoholic. Unless someone has a serious addition to sugar and/or cookies, the comparison is ridiculous.No one's saying to keep away from all sugar for the rest of their lives.
My point is that these situations will continue to present themselves to all of us. My experience is to be gracious, and weigh the consequences. Would I rather offend my mother-in-law, or just eat the damn cookie? I'd rather eat the damn cookie, watch what I eat the rest of the evening, and/or burn it off later.
I personally don't give a crap. If I say no and you insist I ignore you. A persons feeling are their own responsibility. Not mine.0 -
I think just like anything else, everyone needs to do what is right for them. If you don't want to take what is offered, your polite 'no thanks' should be respected. Personally, I've spent too much of my life doing things so that others were happy, and not taking care of myself. That's part of what got me to be overweight in the first place. I look at this as my time now...my turn to do what is best for me. I'm not responsible for how others react to my choices. As other posters said, if you're polite in expressing that you don't want something...how someone else feels about that is not your responsibility. Know that you stayed true to yourself, and did what was right for you.
If you choose to 'indulge'...that's your choice as well...but that's not the right choice for everyone.0 -
Of course not, but one has to learn to find balance. Abstain completely from sugar for the rest of one's life? Really?
Well it will not kill me to NOT have one, let's put it that way
So, are y'all never going to eat another cookie for the rest of your lives?Isn't saying "One cookie won't hurt!" like saying to an alcoholic "One Drink Won't Hurt!" ??? In my opinion it is...andthere are
tons of people like that all over the world. Be careful who you share your weightloss journey with and remember to
Consider The Source when you do get a comment from a sick enabler~
Hang in there ~
Where did anyone say anything about not eating sugar ever again? That wasn't the issue. The issue is politely declining treats only to have the offerer hound you to accept it like it's some sort of test of their own self-worth. They aren't the same thing. Just because I still allow myself to eat cookies or ice cream or whatever now and then doesn't mean I should have to eat it every time it's offered to me just to protect someone's fragile ego.0 -
I don't care who I piss off because my goal isn't to make anyone happy but me. :grumble:
Interesting.0 -
Maybe you can adopt me? I'm not that lucky. I have a family of obese women that equate food with love. And yet the fact that I have always been small until I had my kid...has always been a point of contention. Seriously..I'm 5'4 140 lbs and have been asked if I was 'sick' when I turned down food at thanksgiving. Sure..I must have cancer..that's it. I'm telling you...my family is nuts!
Maybe I'm blessed with friends and family that don't push to the point that I have to be rude. I dunno.
The point is that it is your choice to do so. As it is my choice to say no and have that respected. Obesity does kill. So does diabetes and heart disease. And many people got to where they were because one more cookie may lead to 10. No one will force me to eat what I don't want. The people here are just saying they wish others would respect that.
People are comparing sugar to crack and cookies to alcohol for an alcoholic. Unless someone has a serious addition to sugar and/or cookies, the comparison is ridiculous.No one's saying to keep away from all sugar for the rest of their lives.
My point is that these situations will continue to present themselves to all of us. My experience is to be gracious, and weigh the consequences. Would I rather offend my mother-in-law, or just eat the damn cookie? I'd rather eat the damn cookie, watch what I eat the rest of the evening, and/or burn it off later.
I personally don't give a crap. If I say no and you insist I ignore you. A persons feeling are their own responsibility. Not mine.0
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