Why are people so cruel

24

Replies

  • shellsrenee01
    shellsrenee01 Posts: 357 Member
    A few years ago I was walking along the streets of a small coastal town in Spain. I had just spent the day swimming in the Mediterranean Sea and life was good. I stopped at a convenience store to get something to drink and a snack. My snack of choice? A KitKat bar. Wrong choice, apparently!

    As I am happily making my way back to my hostile, munching on my KitKat, this older Spaniard stopped me and proceeded to tell me, in Spanish, that I was fat and should not be eating the candy bar. I didn't speak enough Spanish to fully understand him, but from his gestures and facial expressions I just knew it wasn't anything pleasant.

    Jerk off!

    Don't let people like that get to you. Much easier said than done, but people will always find something to rag on you about and the best thing to do is to let it roll off your back and remind yourself that they are unhappy and suck. Then eat another strawberry! haha
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
    It's true. Some people are socially inept enough to think that their opinions and presumptions about anyone else's desire or ability to attract a mate are important enough to share with strangers.

    Could have always said that your girlfriend thinks that you're a-okay.
  • Reddak98
    Reddak98 Posts: 58 Member
    One day you will reach your goal weight. When that day comes he will, unfortunately for him, still be ignorant. He is not worth the time.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I keep hearing these stories and they make me so angry I don't have words.

    You should have stabbed him in the neck.
    As much as I'm a fan of a good neck-stabbing, I don't get angry about this stuff any more. It doesn't fix anything or make me feel better to get angry. Maybe if I was there witnessing it, I'd feel differently.

    I encourage the OP (and anyone humiliated by someone being jerky) to know yourself, who you are, and be confident in that assessment. It makes comments from others far less influential. Doesn't mean other people's inconsiderateness won't be bothersome - just way less powerful.

    Mostly, though, OP, I hope you enjoyed your chocolate-covered strawberry.
  • jelias1
    jelias1 Posts: 97
    Ok mini vent too..This morning one of the girls in the office recieved a box of chocolate dipped strawberries from edible arrangements and decided to offer me one. Needless to say neither of us are skinny. There was a customer in the lobby at this time, Male with the stomache of a pregnant woman. So I selected one. The guy then says" you know if you eat that you will only get fatter than what you are" "You know men like skinny woman." I didnt reply because I like my job and the words coming out of my mouth wasnt going to be pretty. So I ate all my 140 calories strawberry and gave him eyes that could kill. He doesnt know me or my workout plans. What gives him the right to judge me on my weight? This is why alot of people have confidence issues dealing with there weight

    Don't let that comment get to you at all, he is an insensitive douche with the social skills of a flea on a dog's butt. I am glad you enjoyed your strawberry and took the high road by not reacting to his stupidity. Not all men like skinny women and on top of that there is no defined standard for skinny he was just being stupid. I guess where he comes from there are no mirrors and inbreeding to create those social skills.

    Your gorgeous by the way you have nothing to worry about! :bigsmile:
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    That was probably his version of flirting. Let me guess, he's single. LOL
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Honey you can lose weight, but that man will always have an ugly soul. I was at a party last year, I weighed about 165 pounds at the time. There were a lot of people so it was a tight squeeze to get around. As I passed one of the other party goers he said, "Wide load coming through." At the time it broke my heart. Now I just realize some people are just ugly on the inside and need to work on themselves emotionally the way I am physically.

    THIS^^

    I have no idea why so many people feel the need to drag down others...please don't let it get to you...it's hard not to let those evil words stick in your brain and dwell on them but YOU know your goals. Like this commenter said- you will continue to get healthy and lose weight- he will always be a terrible person. Turn the other cheek and ENJOY that chocolate covered strawberry! (my fav dessert btw....so i'm a lil jealous!) :flowerforyou:
  • TXBelle1174
    TXBelle1174 Posts: 615 Member
    I think I would have raised my eyebrows.....laughed...then snickered while pointing at his belly.
    He's not even worth a thought to you. :flowerforyou:

    ^^ This! LOL
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
    Job or not I would have asked him how his diet is working for him
  • christenwypy
    christenwypy Posts: 335 Member
    I cannot believe someone would say that! The worst I have had is people thinking I am pregnant and sometimes people will say something like "well you're lucky because you are only fat around your middle" as if that makes me feel better lol.

    Sorry that happened to you today! That man was very mean.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I've come to realize that people who are very insecure and very unhappy with themselves are the ones who work very hard to make other people unhappy and insecure too. They feel like if EVERYONE feels as they do, they won't feel so alone. Don't let that man and his ignorant mouth get to you. He is the one with a problem. He is obviously unhappy and he wants to project that onto others.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Ok mini vent too..This morning one of the girls in the office recieved a box of chocolate dipped strawberries from edible arrangements and decided to offer me one. Needless to say neither of us are skinny. There was a customer in the lobby at this time, Male with the stomache of a pregnant woman. So I selected one. The guy then says" you know if you eat that you will only get fatter than what you are" "You know men like skinny woman." I didnt reply because I like my job and the words coming out of my mouth wasnt going to be pretty. So I ate all my 140 calories strawberry and gave him eyes that could kill. He doesnt know me or my workout plans. What gives him the right to judge me on my weight? This is why alot of people have confidence issues dealing with there weight

    Too bad you were at work. If I were in your position, and at work, I would have laughed it off. However, if I was not at work, I would have invited him to go pound sand up his @ss.
  • Nicoleo1
    Nicoleo1 Posts: 159 Member
    Something I learned a few years ago that's one of the best life lessons I've ever had is: you can't be responsible for other peoples' bad manners.
    Even though the words were right there and you wanted to hurt him back, I'm proud of you for not doing it. It's not easy taking the high road, but you should feel great because you took it, and because you are doing what's right for you. :flowerforyou:
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
    It is astounding the *kitten* stupid people say. Don't give this idiot a second thought.
  • alisonwww
    alisonwww Posts: 104
    Besides being a complete idiot he must be blind too because you are NOT fat!!!
  • TheDoctorDana
    TheDoctorDana Posts: 595 Member
    He feels bad about himself and putting you down made him feel better. It's sort of a sick power balance. By making someone else feel bad, someone else feels good - but it's only temporary and they have to turn around and do it again. People with their own self confidence don't have to use others to make themselves better because it comes internally.

    For what it's worth, I had one of those strawberries a few weeks ago and it was totally worth the 140 calories - great way to indulge in chocolate without going insane, cause those strawberries are huge!

    This ^ You look great by the way ;)
  • Lane1012
    Lane1012 Posts: 211 Member
    why you care what a random fat dude says to you ?

    This is what I was thinking.

    Next time this happens (and hopefully it won't) just smile and say "Thank you so much for looking out for me. What's your secret to such a fantastic physique?" Although judging by his comment you may need to explain that to him.
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,226 Member
    It blows my mind about how rude some people can be. Ignore him and carry on!
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
    You know my grandmother would make comments just like that to people, especially strangers who she just met because she likes to talk to people. Especially because she had her own weight problems and found a way to lose the weight, so she likes to give her own advice whenever she meets new people with obvious weight problem. I really think she has no clue that this is offensive. I understand it comes across rude as hell, but some people really don't know better.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I can't believe you didn't say anything....!
  • channa007
    channa007 Posts: 419 Member
    If you have access to his home address or email sign him up for junk mail. That's what I'd do.
  • brittanidigby
    brittanidigby Posts: 247 Member
    What a ****.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    WOW Liz that is horrible!!!! You are not even big!!! I hate people like that!!! UGH...gets me on my high horse everytime!! Why would he think that it was ok to tell you that?? It is none of his buisness! My favorite comeback as a kid was, "yea I am fat but you are ugly/stupid and guess what I'm losing weight"!!!!! Such an *kitten*!!! He is lucky I can't kick his *kitten* right now....give me nine months then I will!!!! LOL

    I love you Jenny!!! Thanks honey it just hurt to be called fat by a complete stranger
  • samlankford
    samlankford Posts: 334
    wow what an *kitten*.. I would have looked at him, smiled, and said "pot kettle buddy", then smiled again, take a bite of the strawberry and walk away.. needless to say it would not been anything "nasty" said to pregnant skum bag..
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
    That was probably his version of flirting. Let me guess, he's single. LOL
    hahahahaha.. like the boys that used to pull your hair in grade school.. that was it.. he has a crush on you ..you lucky girl ..((shudders)) the guy is a jerk and pathetic .. forget about him...
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    He doesnt know me or my workout plans. What gives him the right to judge me on my weight? This is why alot of people have confidence issues dealing with there weight

    Not "people," WOMEN. Sexism and "the male gaze" are part of the problem. Some (many?) men still don't believe that women are fully human beings with a right to dignity, respect and not to be objectified.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
    I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

    everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


    i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

    it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
    it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
    until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
    If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
    the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


    you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
    take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
    the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
    most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    The men I work with would not allow that guy to have our business. We get vendors with attitudes all the time. They apologize real quick as soon as I let their contact know.

    Sorry you had to go throw that. I am not sure how I would have responded but it wouldn't have been nice.
  • u2fergus
    u2fergus Posts: 422 Member
    Besides being a complete idiot he must be blind too because you are NOT fat!!!

    Exactly what I was thinking!!! I would be angry but probably not that shocked if somebody said that to me, but you don't even look overweight in the least! I can't imagine where he came up with that. Anyway, I'm very sorry it happened to you. :(
  • Coyla
    Coyla Posts: 444 Member
    I am pretty sure that was a really messed-up, dysfunctional means of flirting with you. There are some guys who think that insulting a girl will get them the girl, as in, Girls Like Bad Boys. Doesn't work that way, though.

Categories