What type of work do you do and what do you have to deal wit

I am a civilian for a major police department. This means I am NOT an Officer. I am also NOT a dispatcher. I am a glorified receptionist/gofer. I also work closely with Police Officers...many who are young enough to be my child. So I ofter have to put up with their childishness. Most of them are great, I just tell them "I've raised a child...you're not him."

Some of my favorite calls...

caller: I want to make a report.
me: You have to call _____ for that, I can't dispatch from here
caller: Since when? I've always been able to call you before!
me: At least since 1988 when I started working here...do you need that number?
caller: Is it #######?
me: yes

OR, ask me for a phone #, and then tell me, "wait, I have to get a pen". If you don't have a pen, why did you ask for the number?

I also get a lot of "Why is the helicopter over my house?"
me: I don't know...where are you?

No two days are ever the same.

I am a nurse........that's it....a nurse

I'm a middle school English teacher...

Me: Where's your book share?
Student: I don't have it.
Me: Why not?
Student: I-D-K
Me: "I-D-K"...you're too lazy to even say the words?
Student: Kind of.
Me: So...did you even do it?
Student: No
Me: Why not?
Student: I didn't have enough time
Me: But I handed out the assignment over a MONTH ago!
Student: Sorry, Ms. I was busy.
Me: Doing what?
Student: Well---I have practice everyday after school, then I have chores to do...otherwise I get in trouble.
Me: Do you get in trouble for bad grades?
Student: Yeah
Me: Brace yourself!

:laugh:

I work for the Government, in Child Support Collections. People hate me for this.

I love you for that! You're doing good work, needed work. I am glad for all the years I got child support that wouldn't' have come to us from Mr. Procrastinator without some arm-twisting by folks like you.

Tech Support

1- Why dont my wireless work? - cause you dont have a wireless router/modem
2- My computer is making noise? - get your foot off of the side and move your purse away from the fan in the back
3- my email doesnt work - yes it does, you just didn't receive anything...

and before you ask.. NO! you are NOT important enough for me to read your email.

I HATE dell cs
I LOVE Nintendo and Sony CS

Sadly im just a cashier at a produce store.only fruits/veggies and some grocery items.
I have to stand for 7.5hrs a day,thats no fun. feet hurt lol

complaints are usually stuff like
#1. i bought these fruit and i went on vacation and they're rotten.i want my $ back.
ME: well miss produce is only guaranteed for 5-7 days.
CUSTOMER: well i ddint even use it.i was gone for 2 weeks.
ME:i cant return ur $.u have to EAT it before 5-7 days

#2. your flyer says grapes are .99/lb
ME:yes it says FRIDAY only.
CUSTOMER:yeah but i'll be out of town friday.
ME:sorry i can't help.
CUSTOMER:but the ad says grapes .99/lb so u have to give it to me for that price
ME: i will-on friday! as according to the ad

#3: i wanna return these mangos. they are no good.
ME:sure! may i have your receipt.
CUSTOMER:i threw it away.but i bought them here. i want my $ back
ME: sir i need a receipt or i cant help you.
CUSTOMER: i dont have one! i just said i bought them here.
ME:sir every grocery store around here sells these mangoes.could be from any one. i need receipt for proof of purchase.
CUSTOMER:this is ridiculous
ME: im pretty sure EVERY store needs receipts to do returns. you can't just go to walmart and say"i bought a tv here, it broke. i'd like my $ back" you NEED a recdeipt.

#4: i got home and i cant find my bag of pistachios that were $14 and my $10 jug of oil. lady didnt bag it or give it to me.
ME: do u have your receipt.? i'll check the office where we put returns when ppl leave them. (come back-sorry we have nothing left here.)
CUSTOMER: receipt is at home. but i bought it and dont have it.i want it!
ME: let me just try to go to walmart and say "yeah i left my $40 t-bone steaks and my bluray player here when i checked out. my receipts at home but can i just grab some new ones?"

haha not gonna fly lol

I'm a baker!!!!! Enough said.

I am a police dispatcher. Sooo many moments but most I cant share....we tend to have a warped sense of humor and I cant ever guess when others will be offended BUT here is a good one.

caller: I want to report a speeder. Hes doing 94mph
me: sir, how do you know he is going that speed?
caller: cuz im right behind him and thats what my speedometer says
me: what color/kind of car are YOU in and where are you?
caller: wait! thats not fair, I called him in FIRST
me: sir, what color;kind of car are you in and where are you?
caller:................(click)......................

love this one, I have been in law enforcement for 15 years!!!!! I have to say though the best excuse given for speeding actually came from ME, when I was in high school.......but officer I just started and I have to get home b/c I have my sisters brand new jeans on and she will kill me.....embarrassed him so bad he ran back to his patrol car, lol

I am an Army Medical Technician:

#1
Patient: I have a stuffy nose
Me: Get out my office and man up!!

#2
Patient: Help i have been shot/blown up!
Me: Oh F*@K, lets go (thankfully not as many of these as of #1)

I am a Deputy and I love the Excuses i get when I pull a car over, If you can Make me laugh in the first 30 seconds, No ticket....lmbo

My Favorite so Far was: (true Story)( this occurred on a major through fair)

Me: Sir do you know you were doing 25 mph under the speed limit? you were backing traffic up for miles. Any reason for that today?

Violator: yes Officer, do you know how expensive gas is??

I could hardly contain myself, needless to say he got a free pass...
LOL

I am a dietary aide .. I speak on the phone with hospital patients to make their diet orders, so pretty much I just tell people what they can't eat and get yelled at by diabetics all day since they can't get all the carbs they demand!

I'm a cashier/customer service associate at Walmart....need I say more?

Patternmaker for clothing manufacturer,
I measure twice and cut once..

Warrented Contracting Officer
engineer: We need it byTomorrow.....:sad:
Me: Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.:smokin: