Motherhood!!!!??!!!!

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  • ladynica
    ladynica Posts: 329 Member
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    Let me add that in my opinion, pregnancy was the least hardest part of parenthood/motherhood. LOL. Motherhood in general the most draining, exhausting, mind boggling, excruciating, confusing, wonderful, utterly rewarding experience I've ever had. Nothing anyone could have told me could have prepared me for it, nor could I have ever been convinced to do it.

    In the end, you and your husband are the only two people who can decide what's best for you and whatever you decide, your experience will be unique to you. That's not to say that some experiences in motherhood, pregnancy, childbirth, etc aren't universal. I'm just saying only you can decide what's best for you an whatever you decide, ENJOY IT as much as you can.
  • twogirlsmama
    twogirlsmama Posts: 45 Member
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    Motherhood is your choice! It's your body. Yes, your husband should have some input, but the final outcome is about your body carrying a baby.

    My own personal experiences on the road to motherhood were very sorrowful and I choose to keep them to myself in a situation like yours. In the end, I am a very proud momma of two beautiful little girls. They are way more than I expected!

    The physical action of carrying a child is the simple part. The parenting is the complicated part. You can work to get your body back, you have exercise and diet to help you. You will never really be prepared for the joy, laughter and sometimes heart felt pain a child can bring to you.

    Please be responsible and make the choice for yourself, not the people surrounding you. I wish you the confidence to make YOUR choice.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    Please do not have a baby because you feel pressured to do so. It is a serious, life-long, full-time, (can't do it halfass) committment. It's another life that you are endeavoring to shape and mold.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    No one can MAKE you have a baby.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    < This is what post pregnancy looks like on me. I'm sorry, but I loved being pregnant. the thought of growing a life inside of me, all the complexity of that, and the miracle of everything knowing exactly where it's supposed to go to become a real life human? Nothing in my life was better. I had no morning sickness. Not to say it was all rainbows and unicorns, but it was amazing, and powerful, and it helped me to embrace my capabilities. I will never be so impressed with the capacity of the power of my body as I was when I was pregnant. I can't wait to do it again, I look at other women's pregnant bellies with wonder, amazment, and jealousy. The flutter of another human, knowing that there is no way possibly to be closer to another person, it's all so incredible.

    Pregnancy and labor have so much to do with perspective. Yes, there are some really hard experiences out there, but most boil down to how you look at it.

    I posted this blog today regarding my own progress. Between the first picture and the second I conceived and had my son. At my top weight while pregnant I crested 200 pounds (something I will not let myself do next time). http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/allabtlm/view/progress-pics-2008-to-now-243486
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
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    The child is worth the pregnancy. Like you though I never wanted all the yuck that goes along with getting the baby. Search yourself and see if being a mommy is worth it to you. Unconditional love, seeing the world brand new all over again, and a swell in your heart you had no idea was possible. I am glad I have one. My family is upset that I am trying for another. But one is great. Also none of them have to have "change" none of them have to be a walking suitcase for 9 months SO soul search and decide if motherhood after the 9 months of yuck is worth it. If the 9 months is still too difficult for you but you want to give your heart to a child adopt, foster there are lots of kids out there who need loving mommies.
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
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    You are being forced to have a baby? It sounds like you have bigger issues than gaining weight from pregnancy... seriously.
  • ladykaisa
    ladykaisa Posts: 236 Member
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    Long story short..
    I got married 1.5 years ago, I am gonna be 29 years old on 25th April.
    My In laws, my parents, everyone is forcing me to have a baby soon .. but I am not ready for it... and will never be :(
    My Husband and I had many discussions about it and we decided we plan one soon may be in a years time..

    Problem: I am not ready, I can never be ready I always freak out when I think about it.. big belly.. so many problems, pain, morning sickness.. blah blah blah.. above all I do not know anything about Pregnancy.

    Help: I want to make up my mind and want some good positive energy to be ready for it. Any book? any site? any good experience here? any kind of help would be great....

    I love kids but I never want to go through the pregnancy... and also the fact that after pregnancy most of the women put on lots of weight and that loose tummy never goes back :( it is a big change in life how did you prepare yourself for it??

    Please help me.. !

    I can't help with the child rearing part, or the pregnancy part, but my Fiancee and I have been together 7 years and gettting married in May. My MiL and mom started 3 years ago asking for grandchildren.

    The exact words out of my mouth were "You have other children. When are they gonna procreate?"

    I passed the buck onto my Sister In Law and my little brother. They pushed it, I'd tell them I'm not having kids. Shut 'em up real quick.

    My mother's been going on and on about grandkids since we got engaged. Each time she mentions kids, just simply say "I haven't made up my mind yet". It's the truth. I'll be 28 in October, hubs doesn't really want kids, and I'm on the fence. It's a big, life changing event.

    My best friend and MoH *just* had her *first* baby. She's 35 tomorrow.

    Amy
  • jessicareiter
    jessicareiter Posts: 3 Member
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    What you read and hear about pregnancy is like the warnings on medication…all of these miserable things could happen. Doesn’t mean they will. I kept waiting for them too because of everything I read.

    I personally felt great the whole time. It took about 3 months, but all the weight came off. Just be smart about staying active and eating well when you are pregnant.

    At 29 I wasn’t ready….then around 31 something changed and I was. You have time…take it to get to know your husband and enjoy life!
  • kimberly702
    kimberly702 Posts: 369 Member
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    I never prepared for it. Missed my period and started throwing up so I took a test and yuppers I was pregnant! I was 19 when I got pregnant... who's ready at 19 to be a mom? Had my first baby girl when I was 20 and yeah I gained weight, 25 lbs with my first and had a little pooch leftover. But I've never been one to prance around in a bikini and it didn't bother me. The pregnancy, although uncomfortable and made me sick... was the most INCREDIBLE experience! The bond you have with your baby and your body... is priceless. I have never felt MORE beautiful and sexy than I did when I was pregnant! I felt that way for all 3 of my kiddos. I love pregnancy... and yeah, I've gained weight and am trying to lose it... I'll never have tight flat sexy abs... but whatever! Look what I did!! I grew 3 beautiful babies in that belly!
  • timadotcom
    timadotcom Posts: 674 Member
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    I was exactly like you before I got pregnant... I was just not ready and here is the thing... I do not believe you can ever 'get' yourself ready... you just have to do it.

    But I can tell you one thing... that I would do it all over again and again and again...I LOVE IT. Mind you I had complications, I was fat, hormonal, but I wanted to do it all over again before I left the hospital with my newborn. I had a c-section, which is really hard to recover from, gestational diabetes, my boy was 10 lbs and blah blah blah.... but it is the best thing I have done in my life.

    You will lose the weight ( do not eat for 2 as everyone says and make good choices), you just have to work at it. Motherhood is tough, but it is the most rewarding and the best feeling you will ever have.... I simply can not describe it.

    No matter how crappy my day is, as soon as I see my baby when I come home, all of the stress, aches and pains go away and I just want to be with him and have him be happy.

    I have lost of my pregnancy weight and more... I am 10lbs lighter than I was before I got pregnant the first time:) You would be suprised how being pregnancy just motivates you to want to lose weight...well at least it did for me:)

    Good Luck and don't stress:)
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Check out www.mothering.com and look into their "discussions" or "community" boards. Every pregnancy is different and you may find you enjoy it (well the first 7-8 months! LOL). I enjoyed being pregnant very much and even my labors and deliveries went well (no drugs/med intervention of any kind for either birth) It really is a very special time. Being pregnant DOES NOT equal being fat! I have lots of mom friends that gained only baby weight and got right back in to shape and some took a bit longer. But above anything DO NOT let anyone push you to have children. It is when you and your partner are ready and everyone else should MYOB. My only advice is that if you want to have a baby, don't wait too long (as if it turns out you have fertility issues with you or your partner you will have time to work through them if you decide to pursue fertility assistant options).
  • bkw2488
    bkw2488 Posts: 190 Member
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    My story is a little funny. I never planned on having any kids and well now I have six. It is the absolute most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. While pregnancies are not easy, and it changes your body, but after each baby was born, all the pain was completely forgotten about. It is completely up to you to have a child or not. But I wanted to tell you from my perspective. I wouldn’t change a thing. Like some say, my body shows the story of my life. Every mark is worth it to me.

    They make me a better person and have taught me some of the best lesions in life, more than any book would have ever taught me.
  • jjelizalde
    jjelizalde Posts: 377 Member
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    I had baby number 4 when I was 42 years old. I have grandchildren that are older. Only you can decide when/if you're ready to have children!
  • Elizabeth0913
    Elizabeth0913 Posts: 61
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    Just think, a lot of women decide to do it AGAIN!! LOL, I have 3!! So it can't be that bad right, LOL. Pregnancy is a BEAUTIFUL experience and I had a horrible last pregnancy!! (An 11 pounder!!) But you really shouldn't feel pressured to have kids. It's between you and your mate/spouse. I don't think anyone is ever READY but you learn as you go!! Good Luck to you!

    Oh and all of that scary weight gaining, stretch mark stuff.....well, it's fixable.
  • TLPat
    TLPat Posts: 55 Member
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    Sweetheart, you are young! People have babies later these days! I had my first baby when I was 36 and my twins at 39 - I'll be 40 this week. I weigh exactly what I weighed before I got pregnant with my son. I say I am trying to get back to highschool weight now, but really I just want to be in the best shape of my life to have energy for 3 small children. Having my babies makes me feel younger!

    I didn't want to listen to all of the horrid pregnancy stories so I just expressed that when people started to tell them. And guess what....you'll have a completely different story of your own.....It's like .....my story is so much better!!!

    Motherhood is glorious, rewarding, and challenging.... Follow your heart!
  • MamaKeeks
    MamaKeeks Posts: 234
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    Let me add that in my opinion, pregnancy was the least hardest part of parenthood/motherhood. LOL. Motherhood in general the most draining, exhausting, mind boggling, excruciating, confusing, wonderful, utterly rewarding experience I've ever had. Nothing anyone could have told me could have prepared me for it, nor could I have ever been convinced to do it.

    In the end, you and your husband are the only two people who can decide what's best for you and whatever you decide, your experience will be unique to you. That's not to say that some experiences in motherhood, pregnancy, childbirth, etc aren't universal. I'm just saying only you can decide what's best for you an whatever you decide, ENJOY IT as much as you can.

    THIS!!!

    See my profile pic??? That's me at 36 weeks pregnant with twins. And I was 37 YEARS OLD!!! I was healthy and fit and sexy. I gained 52 lbs and (relatively) quickly lost it all after I delivered because motherhood is CRAZY! It is life changing and hard work, not just for you and your partner, but for the little lives you create as well. You have to make sure you are ready for their sake as much as for your own!!!

    Fear is normal, but it shouldn't stop you from doing ANYTHING. I know family pressure can be severe, but for your sake, and for the sake of your future child, please do not do anything until you know you can care for your child and yourself the way you deserve!

    Take care of yourself, and enjoy life with your husband... you are young newlyweds - a lifetime of love awaits you!! ! :flowerforyou:
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    Let them know that you plan on having a baby after spending quality "just us" time. This is SOOOO important in a successful marriage. Have a baby when you are ready. What we did is just stopped trying NOT to and let nature take it's course. As for adoption, if you want to do it. Who cares what people think. If you have it in your heart to do so, do it. I am for my next child because my pregnancy was so hard on me. Do what your heart tells you and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings for taking "too long." this is you and your husband's life together.

    On another note...my daughter is 5 and she is AMAZING and is like my mini-me. Every morning after her daddy leaves for work, she crawls in bed to snuggle with me until we have to get up to take her to school and me off to work. I would go through that pregnancy a thousand times to have that.

    As far as getting fat again, yes, you will gain weight with pregnancy, but you don't have to get off plan. Still work out as much and eat the same. You need to take your multi-vitamin/prenatal and probably not do intense weight lifting, but you can still walk, run, swim, elliptical, yoga, etc. It will make your pregnancy AND delivery easier.

    Best wishes on your decision love.
  • JeBitchy23
    JeBitchy23 Posts: 67
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    there is nothing i would trade for my baby girl. i know all the symptoms and aftermath can seem scary and overwhelming and they are but once that angel is here..things are different...at least for me. getting my body back has been tough. i have 20 more pounds to lose and cant seem to stay on a steady loss. but that doesnt mean i regret my choices. in fact we cant wait to try again. pain and all. when the time is right you will know. and dont let other pressure you. then, i feel, you will resent them the child and your SO. take it one day at a time. good luck and best wishes
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
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    Ok! So I can not be very helpful here I think but I can say this! I hated pregnancy and I freaked out a lot but it is such a small part of a greater whole!! If you are freaking out that much I would seek help! You may be able to get help with coping with the feelings of fear that come with pregnancy!

    I also want to say that you should tell your partners family to go jump!! Theycannot force you to do anything you are not ready for and you hubby should be suporting you on this!!

    About baby bellies - not all women put on a load of weight! I saw someone in my clinic who was 6 weeks post natal and she was a UK size 4 at most! I was so jelous!! Lol!! Some people do bounce back! And you may be one of them! If not we are all here to help you get your body back!! :)

    Hope some of that helped!

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