Deleting Friends
Beatrix0810
Posts: 138
I posted a comment on my profile about seend a nutritionist and trying a new approach. This approach was less calorie count oriented and more "what-you-eat-and-how-often." So, the result was that I didn't log on to MFP for a couple of weeks (two and a half) and today I log back in to find myself deleted from certain peoples' friends list. That's fine with me and everything, everyone has free will to decide who they want to befriend. I just find it a little backward in terms of taking the team approach. I just would never delete someone for trying something new. Ever. I said I would get back on and give a status update in a few weeks and I did! Now I'm here and willing to help anyone through a plateu or not seeing results, because after 8 months of calorie counting, I found something that gave me better results and was more sustainable. I think that's as positive an influence as any.
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Replies
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Don't take it personally. You don't really "know" these people, and everyone has their silly little "rules" about friends here. Brush it off, and look for more new friends.0
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Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.0
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I agree with cmriverside 100%. Time to find new friends.0
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I got deleted and when I realized it, it bothered me more than I will care to admit- mostly because I don't know if I did something to offend and things like that worry me. Ah well, let it go. I've deleted people accidentally before, so you never know.0
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that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???0
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Eh, just stop keeping track of friends. I add people who say they want support. If they decide later on that they are not benefiting from the "friendship" they are welcome to delete me. I don't keep track of my friends list to see who has dropped me.
Perhaps it wasn't the content of your post but the fact that you hadn't logged in? Perhaps people thought you were done with MFP?0 -
It happened to me when I had surgery.0
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Haha, exactly, I don't take it personally at all. I just think it's weird! Some people get so offended by not following their "their silly little rules" to quote cmriverside.0
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Hah me too. But Im a little b!tchy so I expect it to a degree. Half the time I don't even notice. There are a few that I have. And the stalker in me wants to know why. Then reality sets in and I realize I don't really care that much. (shrug)Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.0 -
Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.0
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Some people think that the world revolves around them and their friends have no lives and should comment everyday! I have only deleted a friend ONCE, and it was because she was an anorexic psychotic NUT! Being gone for a while, then coming back to say, hey how are you guys doing? That is when you learn WHO your friends really are... I mean, what if you were in the hospital or on vacation or something?0
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Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.
Wow, jeeze!0 -
Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.
Yep.
And I've done the 'ooops' click which wasn't discovered until later. (Today, in fact)
Basically, I use this to track things for myself. Friends are a nice perk, and it is always an inspiration to see how they are doing in their excercise and eating. :flowerforyou:0 -
Eff em... you had to do what was best for YOU and thats what matters. Congrats on finding a good nutritionist, that's almost as difficult as losing weight.
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Do not allow it to affect you, if they deleted you then they were not really ready to support ya.0
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It happened to me when I had surgery.
That's actually just REALLY rude....0 -
Ive only deleted one person and I did it because when I looked at her food diary and it was McDonalds 3x a day it irritated the crap out of me bc to me this is a lifestyle change, eating junk food every meal is not making that change AND it really chapped my butt that people were saying 'way to go' and 'good job' when she was under her calories....I really try to only keep people that truly inspire and motivate me, not trying to be a snob but for me to make this a lifestyle change I need people who are like minded. Maybe they just didn't like what you were trying, maybe they were jealous, who knows, and its just MFP, its not like your best friend....0
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Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.
Exactly my way of doing things.0 -
just brush it off ...0
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eh, dont take it personally, a lot of people tend to do that on here.
Would love to know about your current plan. I am stuck at a plateau and it stinks! lol0 -
I agree with others. Don't take this personally. There are a lot of MFP'ers who look for the support every day and they may have so many friends that they forget what you may have said about getting back on. If they don't see you logging in for a few days, they may assume you are not coming back or trying something new. If I delete someone, I always send a note first and tell them that I will remove them if I don't respond, but I also tell them to look me up if they ever get back on again. It takes only a minute to send a note and sometimes you do get someone to respond that they are just having a rough time.
Search the site and see what kind of new friends you can find.0 -
Well, if you need new friends, you can add me. I am here every day. I would also like to know what you found out about getting over a plateau ??? 0
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that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???
I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.0 -
I only delete when they have not logged in weeks, but after a few days, I will send a message asking what's up. If they had posted a message saying they were trying something for a few weeks, then yeah I would give them a break. My whole reasoning is that I can't soar with the eagles if I surround myself with turkeys!
Glad you aren't a turkey! 0 -
Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.
Yep!!!0 -
i delete ppl who i don't talk to. if someone isn't on for a while and there's not a message of "off on vaca" or "mom's in the hospital" or "got a new puppy, won't be on for a while" or what-have-you, i tend to delete. but if my f-list gets too long, i miss what ppl are saying and i feel like i'm not as good a friend. so i keep the ppl i talk to all the time.
it's nothing personal. if you really miss someone, send them a FR and tell them what's up. otherwise, move on.0 -
Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.
This ^^^^^^. If your gonna be off for like a month, then it's worth giving your friends the heads up. There is nothing worse for your own motivation than seeing other people give up. Or at least that is how it is for me. I also delete anyone who is negative, offensive or really just making excuses all the time. I don't expect my friends to devote themselves all the time, but I do expect people to put a little effort in, otherwise, what's the point?!? :huh:
I've been deleted a few times, and it's ok. Can't get on with everyone in the world!!0 -
Like everyone else said, don't take it personally. I see a dietitian and that has helped me more than MFP as well. The bonus of MFP is that I don't feel like I'm alone in my journey. The bonus of my dietitian is that I've learned to relate to food better. I was a compulsive binge eater, and ate to deal with every day stresses. Anyway, my point is that I totally understand! 0
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You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?0
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Yes. I am so glad that I read this post. I have had 2 friends delete me when I took a break from MFP. I checked in at least once a week to tell everyone that I was moving into a new house. When I got back into the swing of things, I was going to befriend them back, but I said EFF them and added some more friends that support me. It's easy to say "dont take it personal" but you do take it that way. We are all humans and have lives outside of MFP.0
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