Secret Dieting
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A former boyfriend of mine was a pro tennis player. Obviously VERY fit and if he had a soda before a match it was diet because he didn't want the sugar (he gave me a much better explanation, but of course I don't remember it now) so there are perfectly valid reasons for drinking sugar-free that don't include counting calories.
Exactly. The only soda my mom would buy was diet so it was either that, milk or water most of the time. It just stuck and that's what I like.0 -
I totally get what your saying...been through it a million times...esp. with my husband0
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So on and off for the past 10 years I've tried many different diets. Each time announcing to friends and family that this is the time. I get going hard and fast and burn out within a week. Then I get frustrated, everyone is asking me about my diet and I have to shamefully tell them I've quit because it was too hard.
Well this time I'm dieting in secret. I want to avoid the embarassment of having tell everyone I've failed again. I'm just eating healthier, smaller portions, exercising when no one is around and wearing the same clothes. This Friday will mark 8 weeks that I've been on the ball. New habits have been formed and I think its getting easier the longer I do it. I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and finally get down to a healthy weight.
Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?
Congratulations on your progress!!! Well done:flowerforyou: Try to think of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. A very healthy and exciting journey for YOU!....And screw what everybody else thinks!0 -
"Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?"
Generally I keep quiet about it, unless asked specifically. Progress will show over time and people will ask. I have dieted just about my whole life. Ask me now and I will say I am not dieting....it's a lifestyle change. Instead of the chocolate covered donut I will have an apple, instead of taking a nap I will walk around the block a couple times, instead of sleeping in before work I will work out. Small changes.....I'm not saying I won't ever have another donut but they are few and far between now and they fit into my calories for the day.
People are generally nosy and like to police others on what they should and should not do and quite honestly it's not any of their business. You know what you are supposed to do and in time in will just become a way of life.
Best of luck!!!!!0 -
I haven't even told my husband!! I'm sure he notices different changes such as 50 calorie bread in the house and things like that, but he hasn't said anything. I have told one friend who is on this journey with me. We keep each other accountable and send each other our food diary everyday. We also pray together each morning to overcome the struggles of the day. We call or text each other when there is a tough time in the day. Sometimes we exercise together, but not regularly as we both have kids at home. It helps to have someone who you don't feel judged by. I don't want anyone judging me. I'm sure the questions "How did you do it?" will come b/c everyone always wants that quick fix answer. I know it's a long road ahead, but I've lost 10 pounds since starting MFP on 3-15-12.0
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I mostly have done the same thing. I am trying to reframe it in my world. I'm not dieting. In fact, I still eat amazingly bad food much of the time (I blame the office snack room). But I promised myself, I would write down EVERYTHING I ate. That is my only requirement. And when I do, I am aware that what I eat isn't what I'd actually choose for myself.
That's made choosing better food much easier to see.
But I am not dieting. That I have lost 20 lbs paying attention is cool, but it's possibly just a flux. It was winter, now it's spring, I may just be shifting around because I'm more active. And that HAS to be enough.
Dieting is the #1 way to gain weight. Every study in the world has shown that. Dieting DOES NOT WORK. What works is changing the way you relate to the food you eat and noticing what you eat. Weight Watchers gives you firm boundaries. I've done WW four times in three countries. It's worked every time. So did the Scarsdale Diet, the Atkins Diet..etc. I've lost over 350 lbs in my life. And I weighed 301 pounds when I decided I'd had enough of dieting. Done. Never again.
What I am doing now, is not to look good (because I look fine), not to attract others (I want them to like me for my personality anyway), what I am doing now is working towards being a spry old lady. It's a selfish goal but there you have it. I want to move more, feel better in my body and fuel it with a better understanding. Enough of the dieting.
So I don't tell anyone. People are noticing and I shrug it off. It's not a big deal and it's not for them. That they like the way I look is nice. That they like me as I am...even better.0 -
I don't hide it, but I don't bring it up either. My husband knows, my mom & sister know, and you all know. But, I refuse to be "on a diet". I am eating healthier, and making better choices for the way I want to end up looking & feeling.0
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Lordy, I WISH the boobies were the first to go! I wish they would go, period. No matter how much weight I lose, my ginormous bazingas are still enormous and extremely uncomfortable. I'd be HAPPY to give them to you!I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!
I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.
Lol no thanks! I've got big enough jugs as it is. Its just starting to look like what I call "snowman syndrome"0 -
I don't use the word diet. I've CHANGED my diet, but this isn't a diet.
My boyfriend, brother and one or two friends know I want to lose weight, but then they knew I wanted to lose weight all throughout my weight gain too! I don't mention it to others because my weight, eating habits and lifestyle are none of their business. People are very quick to judge/comment, so if I don't give them the opportunity then thay can't. If anyone notices I will just say "I've taken up aerobics" which is true.0 -
Yes, after years of dieting, losing, gaining, re-starting, etc., I don't tell anyone anymore. I did the same with quitting smoking. I used to tell people and then fail and then beat myself up over it. Over and over. The last time I quit smoking was 6 months ago, yesterday. Some people are derailed by others saying "way to go" or " I hope you do it this time". I would rather not hear any "atta girls" and do it myself. That way if I fail, it's myself I have to answer to. If I succeed, I can feel smug about my accomplishments. I don't want it to be a public declaration. Maybe you are like me and need to be "covert" about your attempts at self improvement.0
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My Mom was always on a diet - and always really big. I cringe at the word. I say things like "I'm being really disciplined about what I eat right now". Or, I'll even soften it up further, e.g. "I'm trying to be really disciplined about what I eat right now." I find myself putting it in context as well, e.g. "since I got back from vacation" or "because I've got an awesome date planned for Saturday and I want to indulge myself then". I suppose I'm a little self-conscious about it, but that's not the end of the world either.
Whatever you call it - congratulations on taking care of yourself!0 -
I didn't tell anyone for the first 7lbs, and then only my boyfriend and parents knew until the first 20lbs was gone. I've never lost weight before so I wanted to test myself and see if I could actually do it without anyone knowing that I'd tried and failed.
Thankfully, I never did fail, but it's not a secret any more, it's too obvious to hide now, especially since I'm always trotting off to the gym/pool and buying in lots of healthy foods (aside from the fact losing 47lbs is hard to hide).
I say go for it, keep it secret until you're 100% sure you're able to carry on through with your lifestyle changes, don't call it a diet, or at least not to others, the "are you allowed to eat that cake?", "should you be eating out 3 times a week?" questions tick me off when I've burned off 1450 cals and earned my cake lol!0 -
When I was yoyo dieting I use to be the same... But once I would stop/fail everyone would start talking and my my mom would just try feeding me more and guess what I would eat just because I was upset and because if I wouldnt eat her and my sisters/nieces would start saying thing like "you know you want to eat" ect. Well now that I am making better choices and doin this to change my life I have stand up to them but they do not know I am doin this. Just my bf and my mfp friends
am changing so tthey have notice so thats good 0 -
I told my husband when I started South Beach, but wouldn't tell anyone else. I needed to tell someone because I need to be held accountable, that's what makes me succeed. I just don't tell everyone. I agree, it's no ones business!
What I did focus on is telling a few of my "running" friends that I was starting to run. I needed their encouragement and support with that part. Plus they can appreciate and rejoice at my happy moments and help with my questions! I just FINALLY (after 5 months!) was able to run a 5K nonstop. Don't worry, you'll get there and it will feel AWESOME!
I waited until a few friends noticed the weight loss and just commented that I was eating healthier. I focused more on how good I felt rather than the weight loss. This is helping me too.0 -
I agree with hmd. Think of your change in lifestyle as a gift you are giving yourself, not as a chore or a thing to just get through. As for your friends....They mean well, I'm sure. Be honest with them and gently tell them that you are struggling and need support, not policing.
You might consider a method some of my friends use. Give yourself a free day each week. Not a binge, but a few special treats to look forward to one day each week. I can't do this because I'm short and old, lol. ). I could gain 5 lbs on one day and have (:
MFP is a valuable tool! Just read the success stories. It is important to record every bite you eat. Everytime i have tried to just cut down on my portions, I have failed. When I track every calorie I succeed. You will be amazed at the quantity of foods you can eat when you choose healthy.
Looking forward to seeing your success story posted here. You can do this!0 -
Congratulations on your progress!!! Well done:flowerforyou: Try to think of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. A very healthy and exciting journey for YOU!....And screw what everybody else thinks!
Thanks for the encouragement! I'm ready do this for me!0 -
I didn't tell anyone for the first 7lbs, and then only my boyfriend and parents knew until the first 20lbs was gone. I've never lost weight before so I wanted to test myself and see if I could actually do it without anyone knowing that I'd tried and failed.
Thankfully, I never did fail, but it's not a secret any more, it's too obvious to hide now, especially since I'm always trotting off to the gym/pool and buying in lots of healthy foods (aside from the fact losing 47lbs is hard to hide).
I say go for it, keep it secret until you're 100% sure you're able to carry on through with your lifestyle changes, don't call it a diet, or at least not to others, the "are you allowed to eat that cake?", "should you be eating out 3 times a week?" questions tick me off when I've burned off 1450 cals and earned my cake lol!
Exactly! if it doesn't fit, I don't eat it, but you bet I'm going to eat it if I earned it! Thanks for the support and congrats on your own success!0 -
I agree with hmd. Think of your change in lifestyle as a gift you are giving yourself, not as a chore or a thing to just get through. As for your friends....They mean well, I'm sure. Be honest with them and gently tell them that you are struggling and need support, not policing.
You might consider a method some of my friends use. Give yourself a free day each week. Not a binge, but a few special treats to look forward to one day each week. I can't do this because I'm short and old, lol. ). I could gain 5 lbs on one day and have (:
MFP is a valuable tool! Just read the success stories. It is important to record every bite you eat. Everytime i have tried to just cut down on my portions, I have failed. When I track every calorie I succeed. You will be amazed at the quantity of foods you can eat when you choose healthy.
Looking forward to seeing your success story posted here. You can do this!
I've got the before pics ready, just working towards the after! Thanks!0
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