When the women's locker room becomes daycare
So, I'm curious about your opinion on this...
I go to the gym every day after work. That's about 5 times a week. Each day I go, there's a young girl, she's about 10-12 years old, if I had to guess...who comes to the gym with her mom and sits in the girls locker room while her mother works out. She usually hangs around the carpeted stretching area and does homework, listens to music, watches tv, etc. This girl is in there every time I'm at the gym. She's there when I arrive and still there 1.5-2 hrs later when I leave. Now, the gym I go to doesn't offer child care and the women's locker room is definitely, not by any means, luxurious. It's as standard as they come. Usually gets smelly and dank. Loud. Basically, it's not anywhere I would want to spend my weekday evenings.
Let me get to the point here; I feel sorry for the girl. It makes me sad that she has to spend her evenings there waiting for her mom to workout in an atmosphere that's loud, stinky, humid, etc. I know I should probably just stay out of it and my opinions on the matter aren't fuller developed other than I just feel plain sympathy for the girl. I don't know what the circumstances are, whether she's been asked to workout with her mother, whether she actually likes it, etc.
Tell me what you think...
I'm especially curious to hear from those of you with children
What do you think about this?
Do you only go to gyms that offer child care?
How do you get your workouts in when you're responsible for a child?
I go to the gym every day after work. That's about 5 times a week. Each day I go, there's a young girl, she's about 10-12 years old, if I had to guess...who comes to the gym with her mom and sits in the girls locker room while her mother works out. She usually hangs around the carpeted stretching area and does homework, listens to music, watches tv, etc. This girl is in there every time I'm at the gym. She's there when I arrive and still there 1.5-2 hrs later when I leave. Now, the gym I go to doesn't offer child care and the women's locker room is definitely, not by any means, luxurious. It's as standard as they come. Usually gets smelly and dank. Loud. Basically, it's not anywhere I would want to spend my weekday evenings.
Let me get to the point here; I feel sorry for the girl. It makes me sad that she has to spend her evenings there waiting for her mom to workout in an atmosphere that's loud, stinky, humid, etc. I know I should probably just stay out of it and my opinions on the matter aren't fuller developed other than I just feel plain sympathy for the girl. I don't know what the circumstances are, whether she's been asked to workout with her mother, whether she actually likes it, etc.
Tell me what you think...
I'm especially curious to hear from those of you with children
What do you think about this?
Do you only go to gyms that offer child care?
How do you get your workouts in when you're responsible for a child?
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Replies
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When I was younger, I went to the gym with my mom and did homework in the children's center...I actually have never attended a gym that didn't offer child care. I would feel bad for the girl too, I mean, if she's what, 12ish, she's probably old enough to stay home by herself, right? I know I stayed home alone when I was 12...
I feel like if you have children (that are not old enough to stay home alone for a few hours), childcare should be a decision making factor in choosing a gym. I realize that that might mean a more expensive gym, but I don't really think it's fair for that girl to have to sit in a locker room that's as you described, unless she enjoys it, or unless she's maybe grounded or something.
I attend Lifetime Fitness, which I'll admit is probably more luxurious than I need it to be, but it has everything I could possibly want or need in a gym. A huge childcare facility with an indoor and outdoor playground, movies, computers (only equipped with children's games), a basketball court, etc. Plus if your kids are old enough you can sign a permission form allowing them to attend kid's yoga or use the rock climbing wall (with an instructor) while you work out. This was a HUGE deal to me when I was shopping around for a gym, and my son actually asks me now when I pick him up from school if we can go to the gym (he's 5).0 -
I guess it's a personal decision of what to do, for me personally, I honestly won't take my kids -- even to the ones that have childcare. I work which means I've got 4 hours an night with them by the time I get home. Even an hour would be 25% less time with my kids. Not doing it.0
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that's along time to leave a child in a locker room where strangers come and go. Hoepfully sh ecan find a gym with daycare or at least a childrens area.0
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When I was younger, I went to the gym with my mom and did homework in the children's center...I actually have never attended a gym that didn't offer child care. I would feel bad for the girl too, I mean, if she's what, 12ish, she's probably old enough to stay home by herself, right? I know I stayed home alone when I was 12...
I feel like if you have children (that are not old enough to stay home alone for a few hours), childcare should be a decision making factor in choosing a gym. I realize that that might mean a more expensive gym, but I don't really think it's fair for that girl to have to sit in a locker room that's as you described, unless she enjoys it, or unless she's maybe grounded or something.
I attend Lifetime Fitness, which I'll admit is probably more luxurious than I need it to be, but it has everything I could possibly want or need in a gym. A huge childcare facility with an indoor and outdoor playground, movies, computers (only equipped with children's games), a basketball court, etc. Plus if your kids are old enough you can sign a permission form allowing them to attend kid's yoga or use the rock climbing wall (with an instructor) while you work out. This was a HUGE deal to me when I was shopping around for a gym, and my son actually asks me now when I pick him up from school if we can go to the gym (he's 5).
Yeah, I think Lifetime Fitness would be a much better option!
It sounds pretty awesome.
It's been months that I've seen this girl - so hopefully she's not being punished!0 -
That's a very selfish Mom.
She should either find a gym that allows her child to become a member, or a gym with other activities and/or daycare. In either case, she shouldn't be allowed to hang out in the locker room.0 -
I feel so GUILTY when I work out because I feel like I should be placing my priorities on my parenting. That said, I swim twice a week on my own, because if I don't take care of me, I can't take care of those around me. I also go to the pool on weekends WITH my son for fun family activity time and do a "playground" workout, where I strength condition at the park (and then we hangout and play together when I'm done.)0
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Is there a reason why the 10-12 year old isn't working out? Seems like it could be a good opportunity to start developing good habits.
That type of issue isn't relevant at the gym I go to.0 -
So, I'm curious about your opinion on this...
I go to the gym every day after work. That's about 5 times a week. Each day I go, there's a young girl, she's about 10-12 years old, if I had to guess...who comes to the gym with her mom and sits in the girls locker room while her mother works out. She usually hangs around the carpeted stretching area and does homework, listens to music, watches tv, etc. This girl is in there every time I'm at the gym. She's there when I arrive and still there 1.5-2 hrs later when I leave. Now, the gym I go to doesn't offer child care and the women's locker room is definitely, not by any means, luxurious. It's as standard as they come. Usually gets smelly and dank. Loud. Basically, it's not anywhere I would want to spend my weekday evenings.
Let me get to the point here; I feel sorry for the girl. It makes me sad that she has to spend her evenings there waiting for her mom to workout in an atmosphere that's loud, stinky, humid, etc. I know I should probably just stay out of it and my opinions on the matter aren't fuller developed other than I just feel plain sympathy for the girl. I don't know what the circumstances are, whether she's been asked to workout with her mother, whether she actually likes it, etc.
Tell me what you think...
I'm especially curious to hear from those of you with children
What do you think about this?
Do you only go to gyms that offer child care?
How do you get your workouts in when you're responsible for a child?
How about you volunteer to be a like a big sister to the kid and give up your workout?
I just saw "Slum dog Millionaire" again the other day. I feel sorry for THOSE kids.
My gym wouldn't go for it cause that's a libel type situation and those *kitten* are really cheap. They don't even let kids on the gym floor.0 -
12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise
people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).
she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.
these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.
doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.0 -
I feel bad for her too.
Maybe you should start talking to her, or at least saying hi.0 -
That just isn't right.0
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12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise
people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).
she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.
these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.
doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.
THIS.
The child is doing her homework, which is a very good thing. If there is a question she has, there is more than just mom/dad there to help, which gives the possibility to expand her knowledge more than mindlessly searching the Internet (and maybe getting distracted like I am now...)0 -
I know that in England it's illegal to leave children under the age of 14 at home on their own...0
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I prefer when a womans locker room becomes like the changing station for the dancers at Marks Show Place!!0
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12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise
people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).
she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.
these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.
doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.0 -
When I was younger, I went to the gym with my mom and did homework in the children's center...I actually have never attended a gym that didn't offer child care. I would feel bad for the girl too, I mean, if she's what, 12ish, she's probably old enough to stay home by herself, right? I know I stayed home alone when I was 12...
I feel like if you have children (that are not old enough to stay home alone for a few hours), childcare should be a decision making factor in choosing a gym. I realize that that might mean a more expensive gym, but I don't really think it's fair for that girl to have to sit in a locker room that's as you described, unless she enjoys it, or unless she's maybe grounded or something.
I attend Lifetime Fitness, which I'll admit is probably more luxurious than I need it to be, but it has everything I could possibly want or need in a gym. A huge childcare facility with an indoor and outdoor playground, movies, computers (only equipped with children's games), a basketball court, etc. Plus if your kids are old enough you can sign a permission form allowing them to attend kid's yoga or use the rock climbing wall (with an instructor) while you work out. This was a HUGE deal to me when I was shopping around for a gym, and my son actually asks me now when I pick him up from school if we can go to the gym (he's 5).
I agree with this. We belong to a more expensive gym that has junior fitness, so while I am working out my kids are working out and they love it. I feel guilty going after working all day, but in the long run it is the only way I can get my workout in sometimes and my kids will appreciate having a healthy mom.
I would never leave my kids in a locker room and it is probably against the rules of the gym and should be reported. Most gyms have liability insurance that make it clear where children under the age of 14 can and cannot be. It is not safe for the girl to be there alone, unsupervised.0 -
This would never happen in the mens locker room.
The old naked coots would want to show the little kid how to fly fish, or tell them war stories.
next time, try telling the girl war stories.0 -
Okay in the very same town I live in there is only 1 gym that offers childcare and they don't offer it all day, not to mention they don't allow anyone under 16yrs to work out in their gym. Also not everyone has someone that can watch their children whenever necessary or that is reliable, trust worthy, etc. My daughter is 9, she looks like she is older, like 12. And you don't know if the mother checks on her every 15 minutes or whatever. I am just saying it isn't always that easy or simple.0
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I guess it's a personal decision of what to do, for me personally, I honestly won't take my kids -- even to the ones that have childcare. I work which means I've got 4 hours an night with them by the time I get home. Even an hour would be 25% less time with my kids. Not doing it.
This. I wouldn't waste a significant percentage of the time I get with my children going to a gym.0 -
Maybe Mom/Dad work at the gym and have permission/agreement that the child can 'hang-out' while said parent works?
Yes, I would feel sorry if she is there while the parent is working out, for hours, but maybe there is more to the story?
I would love to be a fitness instructor, but the classes I want to teach are typically at places that don't have child care. I was told I could leave my son (7) in the lobby area if/when I taught a class. This could be what is going on... Just thoughts from a single parent.0 -
Is there a reason why the 10-12 year old isn't working out? Seems like it could be a good opportunity to start developing good habits.
That type of issue isn't relevant at the gym I go to.
I agree. My 10 year old has been having some issues at school with being bullied recently. I started taking her to the gym with me a couple of times per week and working out with her and it is doing a world of good for her self confidence. She really loves the one on one time, and trying to keep up with her gives me a killer workout.
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I know that in England it's illegal to leave children under the age of 14 at home on their own...
No it isn't.
It is illegal to leave a child under 14 in sole care of younger children, but there is no legal age limit for leaving a child home alone, it is at the parent's discretion to determine how mature their child is.
However, it is still the parents' responsibility and they will be prosecuted if any harm comes to the children as a result of being left alone.0 -
12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise
people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).
she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.
these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.
doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.
There are many other lessons her daughter could also be taking from the experience of sitting in a locker room waiting for her mother.
1. Exercise is more important than children
2. It's ok to leave your kids unattended in the company of strangers if you have something else you'd rather be doing
3. The joys of sitting in a women's locker room for 2 hours at a stretch. I mean what kid doesn't enjoy that?0 -
Messed up replying...
I meant to say I agree with the post about not jumping to conclusions. It's what we do rather than what we say that influences our children. I'm in Scotland and no gym I've seen allows children in the work out areas, their insurance doesn't cover it. Most parents feel guilty enough without having to justify their choices. If the girl isn't unhappy then what's the problem? I don't think a 10 to 12 year old would willingly come along every night if it didn't suit them. And creating a working atmosphere for regular homework is great, better than her doing it in front of the TV!0 -
I wouldn't want to sit in there that long, so I wouldn't make my child.0
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This would never happen in the mens locker room.
The old naked coots would want to show the little kid how to fly fish, or tell them war stories.
next time, try telling the girl war stories.
Hahahaha0 -
My daughter is 11 and she does go to the gym with me but she works out. It is good for her and it helps her release some of her energy and frustrations from the day. She enjoys going and most times makes me go even if I don't want to. She is my workout buddy and I wouldn't have it any other way.:happy:0
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It is a personal choice for sure. If the girl is almost 12 then I'd have to say she would be old enough to voice her displeasure if she didn't want to be there. Also you don't know the circumstances, you don't know how often the mother checks on her, if the child even wishes to come, you just don't know. I understand you feeling bad for her, but it might be fun for her.I guess it's a personal decision of what to do, for me personally, I honestly won't take my kids -- even to the ones that have childcare. I work which means I've got 4 hours an night with them by the time I get home. Even an hour would be 25% less time with my kids. Not doing it.
I am the same way! I work full time days, and there is no way I'm going to spend my evenings not spending time with my daughter when I only get 4 hours a night with her. I get up early before work while she is still asleep and workout then
How do you fit your workouts in? 0 -
I feel bad for her too.
Maybe you should start talking to her, or at least saying hi.
I did try talking to her once, about the Voice. I asked if she saw it last season and if she liked any of the new contestants.
But I don't want to seem like a creeper.
I like the idea of trying to be a "big sister" that someone threw out, but again...I don't want to offend her mother. I know who she is, I've seen her around and I see them together when they arrive.
For the most part, I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to people at the gym. Ladies will come up to me and compliment me on my weight loss and tell me how they've see my progress and I honestly feel like I've never seen them before in my life. My point being, I'm not there to watch people and getting involved in other people's business. This is just something I see every time I'm there and it's hard to ignore0 -
That's a very selfish Mom.
She should either find a gym that allows her child to become a member, or a gym with other activities and/or daycare. In either case, she shouldn't be allowed to hang out in the locker room.
This!0
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