You never hear. . . . .

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24

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  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    HORRAY!!!!
    My AC is broken!
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    Sure I'll hold your barf bag. (I would for my little sister, that's about it)

    I got attacked by the poodle, it was horrible!

    Chemistry? Yes please!

    Omg I need to get a paper cut again soon, I love the pain!
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    My sister contributes. . .

    "sure I'll pay 5 dollars for water!"

    "bacon? No thanks!"

    "yay for farmville notifications!"

    "yeah your morning breath smell good!"

    "yes! I forgot my tooth brush, didn't wanna brush my teeth anyway!"
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
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    I like eating fish and while chewing having to pull out 3-4 pin bones each bite. :P
  • Heidi64
    Heidi64 Posts: 211 Member
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    "Bambi's mother had it coming."

    LMAO!


    The skid marks in your underwear are soooo sexy!!
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    "Honey, can you wear something more conservative to bed?"
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Honey, as SOON as you're done having your way with me I am SO making you a sammich!!! :tongue:
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
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    :laugh:
  • Newmammaluv
    Newmammaluv Posts: 379 Member
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    Sure I'll hold your barf bag. (I would for my little sister, that's about it)

    I got attacked by the poodle, it was horrible!

    Chemistry? Yes please!

    Omg I need to get a paper cut again soon, I love the pain!

    Believe it or not my husband does route work in pest control and the ONLY dog he's ever been bitten by were standard poodles and ankle biters.... horrible little beaties!!!
  • Newmammaluv
    Newmammaluv Posts: 379 Member
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    Sure, honey take your time in the bath... I LOVE staying home all day with a colicy baby.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    Baby I so love your snoring that keeps me awake at night.

    YAY some random dog left me a present in my yard to clean up!!
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    If you worked in humane resources or in payroll you would have heard, 'I hate paydays' every damn payday! True story. I hated it.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    Algebra? Makes perfect sense to me....
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
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    Damn, I wish this tractor in front of me would go a bit slower, I'm in no rush!
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    Why oh why did I work out today
    Man I wish I had stayed home last night.
    Oh I love it when all the old tourist come to south florida in the winter
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Thanks for leaving the dishes for me while I was gone all week, honey!

    Those mud marks look great on my white carpet.

    I'm glad you didn't replace the toilet paper roll.

    No, no, my sweater is supposed to be that small after it goes thru the dryer, thanks honey!

    Yes, I'd love to listen to your unsolicited sales pitch during dinner, thanks for calling.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    I wish there were more bikers during Sturgis/Daytona
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Thanks for using the REPLY ALL button for that department wide email that doesn't mean anything to me or 95% of the office!

    ^^ we actually had this one again yesterday, except it was sent campus wide to 2000 people and reply all was used about 10 times.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
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    To a coworker:

    " I just LOVE the way you take credit for things you had nothing to do with and never fail to throw everyone--including your employer--under the bus every chance you get. It's the kind of awesome behavior I want to emulate. Frankly, you're a rockstar"
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Thanks for using the REPLY ALL button for that department wide email that doesn't mean anything to me or 95% of the office!

    ^^ we actually had this one again yesterday, except it was sent campus wide to 2000 people and reply all was used about 10 times.

    I work for a major airline and this has happened on a number of occasions where someone sends out a SYSTEM-WIDE email by accident and for hours people hit 'reply all' to say 'um...herp derp...I don't think this email was meant for me, please take me off your mailing list'. Despite numerous attempts by other employees and IT pleading to PLEASE stop hitting reply all, it literally takes forever for it to stop.

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