Single Parents... I need your help....

sthrnchick
sthrnchick Posts: 771
in Health and Weight Loss
Let me start off this by saying why I am starting to finally look out for myself, by eating better and exercising. I have always been overweight... I have always ADORED food... and I have always just really didnt care too much about what i looked like... I had a failed ( very miserably failed) marriage... and a wonderful son to raise on my own, so why take the time for me if I was the only one for my son?

Until I recently saw a picture of me candidly taken by my sister and posted on FB... I was fat... I almost didnt recognize myself... and was litterally brought to tears ( the pic is on my profile...still motivates me!)

So from that day I started watching what I ate... I wrote down in a notebook everything I ate and drank ( before a friend introduced me to MFP)... and started busting my butt exercising....I have been at this for 7 weeks... and I am very proud of myself... still a very long way to go...but proud non the less...

SO... here is where I need your help.... I am alone.. literally. I raise my son by myself and I cant seem to find the time to workout like I want/need to. I havent figured out if I can do the gym thing since again... no sitter... I have done everything to this point at home. Weights, elliptical, and sheer body weight. How do you do it? If you do the gym, how? If you are working out at home...what are you doing? I really need some guidance here... not sure what to do! Thanks! Stacey
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Replies

  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    No body has this problem?
  • amuhlou
    amuhlou Posts: 693 Member
    Since you havent gotten replies.. I am not a single parent but I do know that some gyms have a tot watch where you can drop off your child and get time to yourself to exercise. YMCAs do for sure.

    Aside from that, I know a lot of people work out at home during naptime, before the kids wake up, or with the kids right there if the kids are older.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Thank you for replying... I know I cant be alone. My son is old enough to sit and watch me work out...but I feel a little guilty for taking that time away... shouldnt probably.... Hopefully someone will chime in and offer advise too... its hard to juggle sometimes! Thanks again!
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    Similar story here, but I have 4 boys, three of them teenagers. I work a job with crazy hours am always trying to fit too much into the day. But you need to be healthy for your kids.

    I try to do what I can to raise my general activity level. I swapped my electric mower for a push-reel manual mower-great leg workout with cardio and resistance. :) I took to walking as much as I could, parking at the end of the lot, taking the stairs, etc. I'll run during my lunch hour at work (we have showers) and after the kids go to bed I fit in 30-60 minutes of strength training or cardio. I cut down on my TV time. I still watch :) but it's usually catching up on the episodes on a Saturday and the number I watch has dwindled to 3-4, rather than 2hrs each night of 'whatever was on'.

    It's hard. If your child is young enough to need a baby sitter it's going to be even harder. I'm lucky my oldest can watch the youngest so I can go out for a walk, though many times he'll just come along with me (paces me on his bike). You just have to fit in what you can when you can.

    But don't sacrifice sleep for an extra 30 minutes of exercise- getting enough sleep is crucial.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    I'm not single either, but I also have this problem since I work days and my husband works evenings. In the evenings I have homework with my 8 year old daughter, then dinner to fix for the two of us, housework, laundry, and making sure she gets her bath and gets ready for bed on time so my evenings are already busy and now her softball practice has started.
    What I have been doing is she and I will go for walks around town or on nights she has softball practice, I walk on the path around the ball fields at our park (1/4 mile path) for part of the time during practice. I spend the rest of the my time there watching and cheering on the girls while they bat, etc.
    I recently discovered a Zumba class that is done by an individual not through a gym and she allows older kids to come with their parents to the class and they can either play in the back of the room or join in (she doesn't charge for them). She charges by the class do I only pay when I can go and it is great. My daughter joined in and really enjoyed it.
    I don't know how old your child is, but you can always squeeze in a workout if you make it a priority. Little ones enjoy riding in the stroller on walks or you can do your videos while they nap. Older kids enjoy riding bikes with you or going for walks or going to classes with you.
    I don't have a gym near me that offers childcare so that isn't an option for me and I don't want to have to put my daughter in childcare anyway when she has been to school all day and then to daycare after school already.
    Hope this helps.
    Sherri
  • AshCakes88
    AshCakes88 Posts: 123 Member
    I am also a single parent. I usually work out at home doing DVD'S or the Exercise on demand channel. Our local YMCA has free childcare for those who choose to bring their children when they want to work out. Also, when it gets warm, you can incorporate your child in your workout. Going out for a walk, going to the park and running around with the kids...trust me, that leaves you exhausted.

    Hope this helps!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Similar story here, but I have 4 boys, three of them teenagers. I work a job with crazy hours am always trying to fit too much into the day. But you need to be healthy for your kids.

    I try to do what I can to raise my general activity level. I swapped my electric mower for a push-reel manual mower-great leg workout with cardio and resistance. :) I took to walking as much as I could, parking at the end of the lot, taking the stairs, etc. I'll run during my lunch hour at work (we have showers) and after the kids go to bed I fit in 30-60 minutes of strength training or cardio. I cut down on my TV time. I still watch :) but it's usually catching up on the episodes on a Saturday and the number I watch has dwindled to 3-4, rather than 2hrs each night of 'whatever was on'.

    It's hard. If your child is young enough to need a baby sitter it's going to be even harder. I'm lucky my oldest can watch the youngest so I can go out for a walk, though many times he'll just come along with me (paces me on his bike). You just have to fit in what you can when you can.

    But don't sacrifice sleep for an extra 30 minutes of exercise- getting enough sleep is crucial.

    Yeah, hes almost 10... so he cant watch himself... it is hard. I know that it can be done. Just hoping someone has some wisdom to help the juggle easier! Does working out that late mess with you sleep? I have avoided this time b/c I was afraid it would... besides... this is when I do EVERYTHING else that has to be done...thanks for chiming in.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I am also a single parent. I usually work out at home doing DVD'S or the Exercise on demand channel. Our local YMCA has free childcare for those who choose to bring their children when they want to work out. Also, when it gets warm, you can incorporate your child in your workout. Going out for a walk, going to the park and running around with the kids...trust me, that leaves you exhausted.

    Hope this helps!

    It does... I guess from hearing from ya'll... its not going to be so easy for a while...thanks ladies!
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    you're not alone :-) i'm a single parent, to 5 kids. i get a break every other weekend, but that's it.

    i do have a gym membership, but more for my kids and me to have a pool membership and the perks that come with a lifetime fitness membership. i do go there for the treadmill and elliptical machines, because i don't have any room for that kind of equipment in my house.

    i work out at home mostly. i have done DVD work outs ( beach body- p90x and turbo fire) i use dumbbells and bands. i have a pull up/ chin up bar and a bunch of yoga mats. i just started body for life on monday. it's free and if you google it you can find all you need online. you just need dumbbells pretty much. tonight, i started the new rules of lifting for abs. got the book on my kindle.

    i mainly work out at night, after everyone is in bed. p90x is hard to do at night because they're LONG! body for life work outs on lifting days are like 40 min, and cardio days ( you have to either get outside or have access to something you can do interval training on) are about 20 min.

    you can do it :-) and no, you're not alone!!!!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I'm not single either, but I also have this problem since I work days and my husband works evenings. In the evenings I have homework with my 8 year old daughter, then dinner to fix for the two of us, housework, laundry, and making sure she gets her bath and gets ready for bed on time so my evenings are already busy and now her softball practice has started.
    What I have been doing is she and I will go for walks around town or on nights she has softball practice, I walk on the path around the ball fields at our park (1/4 mile path) for part of the time during practice. I spend the rest of the my time there watching and cheering on the girls while they bat, etc.
    I recently discovered a Zumba class that is done by an individual not through a gym and she allows older kids to come with their parents to the class and they can either play in the back of the room or join in (she doesn't charge for them). She charges by the class do I only pay when I can go and it is great. My daughter joined in and really enjoyed it.
    I don't know how old your child is, but you can always squeeze in a workout if you make it a priority. Little ones enjoy riding in the stroller on walks or you can do your videos while they nap. Older kids enjoy riding bikes with you or going for walks or going to classes with you.
    I don't have a gym near me that offers childcare so that isn't an option for me and I don't want to have to put my daughter in childcare anyway when she has been to school all day and then to daycare after school already.
    Hope this helps.
    Sherri

    It does... he is almost 10. I guess my biggest struggle is finding the time for me vs taking time away from him...
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    you're not alone :-) i'm a single parent, to 5 kids. i get a break every other weekend, but that's it.

    i do have a gym membership, but more for my kids and me to have a pool membership and the perks that come with a lifetime fitness membership. i do go there for the treadmill and elliptical machines, because i don't have any room for that kind of equipment in my house.

    i work out at home mostly. i have done DVD work outs ( beach body- p90x and turbo fire) i use dumbbells and bands. i have a pull up/ chin up bar and a bunch of yoga mats. i just started body for life on monday. it's free and if you google it you can find all you need online. you just need dumbbells pretty much. tonight, i started the new rules of lifting for abs. got the book on my kindle.

    i mainly work out at night, after everyone is in bed. p90x is hard to do at night because they're LONG! body for life work outs on lifting days are like 40 min, and cardio days ( you have to either get outside or have access to something you can do interval training on) are about 20 min.

    you can do it :-) and no, you're not alone!!!!

    Thank you for all the help! I will google tomorrow!
  • sarahdee2007
    sarahdee2007 Posts: 257
    Maybe get outside with him and play soccer, basketball, tennis, etc. You get great cardio and he will be more active too! I'm not a single mom, but I stay at home with my son and my husband works nights so almost all of my workouts have to work with my son! He is only three, but he can keep up with my jogging (intervals) for more than a mile
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    Sounds like your son is old enough he could ride his bike with you or go for walks with you. He could ride his bike while you walk or jog if that would work better.
    Oh, I forgot to mention that my daughter even likes to do videos with me too. She will even lift weights with me and her dad too. She has a set of 2 lb hand weights she uses to do her curls when my husband is doing his bicep curls.
    You could take your son to the park and play soccer, frisbee, tennis or anything along those lines with him too, if he's big enough to do that.
    Kids love to hike too and that is a great workout. That makes a great weekend activity for the two of you.
  • dellashanks
    dellashanks Posts: 207 Member
    I'm a single mom here! I just started about 2 1/2 weeks ago but, I have managed to lose weight before and I am losing now! YAY. I think you have to find time for you! I know taking away from your son can be hard but in the long run he's gonna get a more fit, motivated, and happier mom. Because I have lost 50+ pounds before my kids have actually told me they like me better when I'm active and happy. (no idea why I put it back on but.. single parent hood is challenging and stressful). I go for long walks when I can I also do videos at home. You must be doing something right tho, you have lost alot. Good luck to you.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Sounds like your son is old enough he could ride his bike with you or go for walks with you. He could ride his bike while you walk or jog if that would work better.
    Oh, I forgot to mention that my daughter even likes to do videos with me too. She will even lift weights with me and her dad too. She has a set of 2 lb hand weights she uses to do her curls when my husband is doing his bicep curls.
    You could take your son to the park and play soccer, frisbee, tennis or anything along those lines with him too, if he's big enough to do that.
    Kids love to hike too and that is a great workout. That makes a great weekend activity for the two of you.

    We love to hike and do that a good bit on the weekends.... My prob is during the week.. juggling school and work...
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I'm a single mom here! I just started about 2 1/2 weeks ago but, I have managed to lose weight before and I am losing now! YAY. I think you have to find time for you! I know taking away from your son can be hard but in the long run he's gonna get a more fit, motivated, and happier mom. Because I have lost 50+ pounds before my kids have actually told me they like me better when I'm active and happy. (no idea why I put it back on but.. single parent hood is challenging and stressful). I go for long walks when I can I also do videos at home. You must be doing something right tho, you have lost alot. Good luck to you.

    I have lost some because I have a lot to loose... :) Thanks for responding... I feel so guity sometimes... how old are your kids?
  • peace_pigeon
    peace_pigeon Posts: 120 Member
    It dosen't have to take time away from him, it can be time you spend together with him learning healthy habits and watching you (the most important person in his life) make your health and fitness a priority. Showing him that you have the respect and self esteem to take great care of yourself will be a life lesson. It can be really fun as well! I have an 11 year old and we walk, run (not "real" running of course, but playing), hike, bike, swim, ride horses, wii fit, all sorts of things. Playgrounds make great gyms! Just try swinging across those monkey bars without feeling like you are getting a workout! You could also look into programs at the local YMCA- perhaps he could play basketball, take a swimming lesson or some other activity while you get an hours workout? I really wish you the best of luck with this, and hope you find something that you and your son enjoy :flowerforyou:
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    It is hard to get me time when you are the primary caregiver for your child. As I said I don't want to put my child in childcare so I can workout when she has already been to school all day and then has to go to daycare after school.
    Maybe you can arrange a playdate for him with a friend occasionally so that you can have a little me time. I at least have my husband available on the weekends so I can have a little me time if I want or need it.
    Best of luck to you in finding a good balance of me time vs time with your son. Just remember that a little me time can make your time with your son that much better for both of you.
  • Happymom12
    Happymom12 Posts: 114 Member
    same here single parent (father not in my sons life he is only 3). My work outs are always different and some days better than others. I walk on my breaks at work morning and afternoon that gives me over a mile. On lunch if I have time I will too. No time for gym nor able to having my 3 yr old. I work over 50 hours a week and also a full time student. At home me and my son he loves doing it with me will do Just Dance on the Wii or I will use work out DVDs. Right now I have supreme 90 and Power 90. I have a co-worker going to let me borrow p90x. I also just do other things like lift free weights, squats, skaters, run in place/ jog in place, sit-ups, crunches, jump in jacks, etc. I do what ever it takes to keep me feeling good and within my calories.

    edited to add: Good luck to you and if you need or want more friends on here for support you are more than welcome to add me.
  • DesignGuy
    DesignGuy Posts: 457 Member
    I'm a single dad with 2 daughters. I have one of my daughters most of the time and the other almost all of the time.

    I solved my problem by working out at home. I do a morning workout before everyone gets up and then another in the evening. The gym isn't an option for me since time can be very precious between work, making meals, cleaning the house, etc.

    Right now I have an exercise bike, free weights, medicine ball, roller wheel thing and a Bowflex. I had a treadmill, but I got rid of it when I moved into an upstairs condo.

    I'm a big fan of home workouts. There's no excuse that way. And best of all, it CAN work with your busy life as a single parent.

    You can do it!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I'm a single dad with 2 daughters. I have one of my daughters most of the time and the other almost all of the time.

    I solved my problem by working out at home. I do a morning workout before everyone gets up and then another in the evening. The gym isn't an option for me since time can be very precious between work, making meals, cleaning the house, etc.

    Right now I have an exercise bike, free weights, medicine ball, roller wheel thing and a Bowflex. I had a treadmill, but I got rid of it when I moved into an upstairs condo.

    I'm a big fan of home workouts. There's no excuse that way. And best of all, it CAN work with your busy life as a single parent.

    You can do it!

    Thank you for inspiring me that it can be done! I needed that!
  • muwchck
    muwchck Posts: 261 Member
    I'm not a single mom, but I am trying to work out at home with my 6 year old and 10 month old right there while hubby works. I do things like get out and play with the kids in the courtyard, take the dog (and kids) on walks all over our apartment complex property which has lots of hills, push the baby in the stroller around the courtyard while my oldest plays, and even do some of my videos with my oldest doing them right next to me (usually Richard Simmons is the most fun for us to do together). We even play WII together. I do a lot of my stuff between my hubby going to work and before my oldest comes home from school too, that usually gives me an hour or 2. You have to either find the time, or involve your son in your workouts somehow. I always tell myself that part of being healthy is so that I can be around for them, and that's the motivation I need to keep going.
  • leo4js
    leo4js Posts: 22
    Hi currently a single mom of two boys and it's not easy but doable. I use to go to the gym mostly for spinning/cycling but I couldn't afford it anymore so I cancelled it and I just workout at home and the outdoors. Outdoors I ride my bike w my 12 yr old. Play basketball w my 20 yr old and at home I have done a bit of Jillian michaels DVDs.... Huge fan of hers but right now....actually today was my first day w 10 min trainer w Tony Horton by Beachbody . Love it!!!!! I'm sore but I love it! My ultimate goal is to lose 65 lbs and ultimately become a cycling instructor! You can do this !!!!! Youre not alone you have all of your fitness pals right here so add me so we can encourage each other !!!!!
  • DesignGuy
    DesignGuy Posts: 457 Member
    Thank you for inspiring me that it can be done! I needed that!

    Happy to help.

    Looking forward to hearing about your progress. :)
  • Kooraloo
    Kooraloo Posts: 362 Member
    I know i'm not a parent, but as a child I think I have something to contribute...
    If your son's old enough, take him with you! I used to work out with my parents all the time before they got too busy with work. At first it was kind of like an "ugh, the gym?? why can't we just watch a movie??" but soon going to the gym became synonymous with family bonding time as well as fun. My mom and I would have competitions, like who could do the most push ups, or who could lift the most weights.

    so.. I think that you should bring him! It'll encourage healthy lifestyle choices (working out vs parking in front of a tv/computer) and it'll be kind of like a fun, bonding time.
  • dellashanks
    dellashanks Posts: 207 Member
    I'm a single mom here! I just started about 2 1/2 weeks ago but, I have managed to lose weight before and I am losing now! YAY. I think you have to find time for you! I know taking away from your son can be hard but in the long run he's gonna get a more fit, motivated, and happier mom. Because I have lost 50+ pounds before my kids have actually told me they like me better when I'm active and happy. (no idea why I put it back on but.. single parent hood is challenging and stressful). I go for long walks when I can I also do videos at home. You must be doing something right tho, you have lost alot. Good luck to you.

    I have lost some because I have a lot to loose... :) Thanks for responding... I feel so guity sometimes... how old are your kids?

    My babes are 11 and 14! So yep they are pleanty old enough to fend for themselves a bit! LOL and right now I leave for and hour and do my walks! Don't feel to guilty you are just working your way to a better version of the already wonderful mother you seem to be! Besides how cool will you be when you can out run him???? He's gonna love it!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    Thank you for inspiring me that it can be done! I needed that!

    Happy to help.

    Looking forward to hearing about your progress. :)

    I hope to make progress soon... I have been at a stand still this week...still on track working on it though... I hope to be in a 2 piece this summer as a last hoorah for my age! :)
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I know i'm not a parent, but as a child I think I have something to contribute...
    If your son's old enough, take him with you! I used to work out with my parents all the time before they got too busy with work. At first it was kind of like an "ugh, the gym?? why can't we just watch a movie??" but soon going to the gym became synonymous with family bonding time as well as fun. My mom and I would have competitions, like who could do the most push ups, or who could lift the most weights.

    so.. I think that you should bring him! It'll encourage healthy lifestyle choices (working out vs parking in front of a tv/computer) and it'll be kind of like a fun, bonding time.

    Thank you sweet pea for your point of view... I think I needed that! I just need to figure out how to make my workouts fun for him! Thank you again!
  • Werglum
    Werglum Posts: 378 Member
    Hi there, I'm not a single mum but am one with no me time (I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old). Things that have been working for me are DVDs and Tabata workouts (google it they really work!!) also I do a Mums and Bubs bootcamp and have been doing the bootcamp drills at home. Keep up the good work!!
  • hotmama1174
    hotmama1174 Posts: 109 Member
    Hi there-I am not a single mom but I understand your struggles. For me I realized that I had to take care of myself if I was going to take care of my family (Husband, 4yr old & 1 1/2 yr old). Although I AM NOT a morning person, I decided that the early morning (between 6 and 7) would be my 'me time' and this is when I had to work out if i was going to get it done. i am in love with everything Jillian Michaels! She kicks your butt in the short amount of time (under 30 min) and you get a good calorie burn (I burn about 300 each time) and a great strength training workout! She is tough but so worth every penny!

    Congratulations on making time for you-you are important and what an awesome example you are setting for your child! keep up the good work!

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