You never hear. . . . .

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  • NicolettetheGreek
    NicolettetheGreek Posts: 246 Member
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    bump..will add later
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    do i want you to swallow or play with the b**ls? not really...I'd rather you just mash it with your weak fist like you're brushing your teeth with your opposite hand
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    You never hear that fat bottomed girls do NOT make the world go 'round
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    You never hear that fat bottomed girls do NOT make the world go 'round

    especially if it's a rockin' world
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    Its ok, I dont really like to have orgasms..
  • Jenncoc86
    Jenncoc86 Posts: 203 Member
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    Yes,**** Cheney is a dashing man!!!
  • Britt2Fitjrny
    Britt2Fitjrny Posts: 558 Member
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    Its ok, I dont really like to have orgasms..

    Hahaha GOOD ONE!! :laugh:
  • Charliemaetoombs
    Charliemaetoombs Posts: 9
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    Thanks for leaving the dishes for me while I was gone all week, honey!

    Those mud marks look great on my white carpet.

    I'm glad you didn't replace the toilet paper roll.

    No, no, my sweater is supposed to be that small after it goes thru the dryer, thanks honey!

    Yes, I'd love to listen to your unsolicited sales pitch during dinner, thanks for calling.
  • sarawoertink
    sarawoertink Posts: 62 Member
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    "Bambi's mother had it coming."
    :laugh:
    Nobody would dare say that!


    "I love that your clothes can never find their way to the laundry basket."
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Oh please shed and groom yourselves more. There are not nearly enough cat hair and clumbs of cat hair around. I Iove to constantly vacuum it up. I'm so sorry the vacuum scares the crap out of you. And while you're at it, please, please cough up some more hair balls.
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
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    I sure hope the dampness of this bus seat is hobo pee!

    Pleeeeeez let that smelly, drunk panhandler ask me for money!

    I hope someone in this elevator farts!

    Hey poorly groomed ginormous guy with a huge stinky burrito in each paw - please be sitting in this empty seat next to me for this 10 hour flight!
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
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    What I read in the forums today that made perfect sense.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    I'm so glad this guy pulled out right in front of me and is going 20 miles under the speed limit.

    Out of milk? Hooray!

    Oh I'd love to carry on a conversation with you while in this public restroom (see other thread....)

    You accidentally put a fried chicken filet in my grilled chicken salad? Bigger tip for you!

    No, don't worry about the food stuck to this 'clean' fork, I'm sure the last person doesn't have a deadly disease.
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    I only have to pay $200 to check my bags, sweet!

    You threw the dinner I spent 3 hours making away, oh well that's okay we'll just have something else.

    My brakes went out, whooohoooo!

    I love it when my debit card acts up, it's okay I don't mind putting everything back.

    Sure I don't mind doing a project with someone who never shows up to class.

    I love it when my pants are too small and I have to lay down to button them, muffin top is the best!!!
  • GreatSetOfBrains
    GreatSetOfBrains Posts: 675 Member
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    Its ok, I dont really like to have orgasms..

    OMG I'm actually laughing!
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
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    To a coworker:

    " I just LOVE the way you take credit for things you had nothing to do with and never fail to throw everyone--including your employer--under the bus every chance you get. It's the kind of awesome behavior I want to emulate. Frankly, you're a rockstar"


    OMG I SO LOVE THIS AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!!!! I'd also like to add to that "I hope being an effin LIAR and MASTER-MANIPULATOR is totally worth everyone knowing what a complete ****HEAD you are!!!!"


    ROTFL!! EXACTLY!
  • stebs1984
    stebs1984 Posts: 38
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    "Would you like to join me for dinner?"
    "How would you like to have that job you've been trying to get for the last 2 years and we keep blowing you off?"
  • melj6807
    melj6807 Posts: 34
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    "Thank you so much for snoring through the night honey...a peaceful night's sleep is so over rated!"
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,263 Member
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    "Oh good, that guy I sometimes see in the office wants my help to find some magic jewels on FB"
  • sarawoertink
    sarawoertink Posts: 62 Member
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    I really hope there is somebody asking for money when I'm walking in to do my shopping.

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