Discrimination against skinny/fit women

kedwardspcm
kedwardspcm Posts: 45 Member
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?
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Replies

  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

    I have most definilty experienced this. I have always been on the thin but curvy side, I have weight issues but they are ones that are mainly in my head bc I am so hard on myself, anyway I have had women on here bash me, make very nasty comments on forums or in messages towards me that were very uncalled for, I brought up the fact I was a dancer in a post I made & a very overweight women felt to need to say I am a "slut" "ugly" "nothing to be jealous over" "that I don't belong on here" etc... Its very hurtful, not everyone is on here with a large weight-loss goal, I just like to keep track of my intake for the most part. But I don't look at fat or thin or fit women any differently because I don't judge people based off appearance, I have had my feeling hurt so often for having a different appearance & people judging me based off looks. I couldn't make another person feel that way & wouldn't want too. A lot of it is also jealously I think & that is just wrong & pointless. Jealously is a useless emotion, If you don't like you CHANGE it. Don't take it out on someone who may look better.

    Also in my line of work (part time- exotic dancer) Groups of women will come in (normally very overweight ones) & sit near the back of the club & point & laugh, make rude comments, pick our bodies apart etc.. I think that is so pathetic! To purposely go out on a friday night with a goal of putting others down because you have no confidence or self esteem. I always just wanna say "Okay that dancer may have a little cellulite/small boobs/bad boob job/bad hair/whatever it could be, nobody is perfect but how do you think people would act if you were on stage? oh wait you wouldn't get hired or be allowed on stage, even if you were you don't have the confidence to put yourself out their like we do!" UGH
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    I was 230 pounds for 5 years,people were always nice to me. Now that Ive lost over half the weight I wanted I get ****ty treatment always from other women.
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    Can't say I've ever wanted to run over someone because of their weight.
  • bitty1taz
    bitty1taz Posts: 309 Member
    I have also been on both sides, and yes...being thinner is worse. I'm on the heavy side right now again. I found that the best thing is just to accept a person for who they are. Heavy or thin.
  • WhitneyAnnabelle
    WhitneyAnnabelle Posts: 724 Member
    I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    Women tend to put WAY too much stock into what other people, especially other women think. Who really gives a crap if you are treated differently for being fit/thin? Chances are that you aren't going to run into the same people that often, and unless they are just *****es to begin with, chances are the better they get to know you the friendlier they'll be.

    All I know is that I pretty much hate all people equally, regardless of race, religion, sex or fitness level. I can however get to know a person and like them for who they are.
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
    all women are catty and jealous. Im surprised you're just figuring this out. Think of what you said/thought about skinny women when you were fat.

    So true.

    I'm still a big woman, but I have completely changed my thinking when it comes to a womans body. When I see a thin/fit woman all I can think is "Wow, the work she must have put into that!!" Where it used to be my thought was "Skinny b**ch probably starves herself.

    I also get a surge of excitement when I see a large woman jogging or at the gym. I just want to cheer for her, but then I'd seem crazy.


    I'll admit though, when I'm at the store or mall and I see these really huge women.....I truly feel nothing but disgust. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to when I can see the damage they are doing to their bodies, the same kind of damage I've done to mine.
  • cardiokitten
    cardiokitten Posts: 401 Member
    :)

    tumblr_lye5uqubVM1r2hffuo1_500.png
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
    I've never been thin and I don't plan on doing so.... Yah, I've been called fat and such.

    However, I think that thin women are beautiful, I think bigger women are as well.

    It all depends on the person really.

    My friend who has been this her whole life and probably always will be has been discriminated against... It's sad really.

    Why do people have to be negative nelly's all the freakin time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    :)

    tumblr_lye5uqubVM1r2hffuo1_500.png

    Personal preference of course, but I'll take all the ones in the second row before I gave the first a 2nd look :love:
  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    first row is hotter.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    I've always been on the curvier side, but I was taught that it didn't matter size, shape, color, anything to always treat people the same, so I always have. Unfortunately not everyone was taught this, and when I was at my biggest I would go clothes shopping and get dirty looks from the thinner girls at a store. It was horrible, and I hated the feeling. One of my bigger friends actually had a girl in a store come up to her and tell her that she was too big for any of the clothes there. Now that I've lost 50 lbs and I'm by no means thin, but by no means incredibly big like I was, I have bigger girls tell me that they hate me for losing the weight, or that it's not fair that I lost weight, and they didn't, or what not. Girls are just down right mean!
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    all women are catty and jealous. Im surprised you're just figuring this out. Think of what you said/thought about skinny women when you were fat.

    So true.

    I'm still a big woman, but I have completely changed my thinking when it comes to a womans body. When I see a thin/fit woman all I can think is "Wow, the work she must have put into that!!" Where it used to be my thought was "Skinny b**ch probably starves herself.

    I also get a surge of excitement when I see a large woman jogging or at the gym. I just want to cheer for her, but then I'd seem crazy.


    I'll admit though, when I'm at the store or mall and I see these really huge women.....I truly feel nothing but disgust. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to when I can see the damage they are doing to their bodies, the same kind of damage I've done to mine.


    I agree with this!
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    first row is hotter.

    See ladies someone for everyone. I can't say that I'm attracted to the first row, but I wouldn't be mean to them by any means. Just don't take what other women say too seriously IMO.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
    I am sorry but there is mean on both sides. I, being a bigger gal get envious of thinner women. It can make me hate other women, I think because I have been fighting this weight all my life n get criticized for it. I have never thought of her having to always work so hard for that body, but then it tells me looks really do matter. Women take the fall for everything. If I get thin, I wont be mean to no women except men. Ha ha cus you didnt want me then, you arent gonna have me now attitude. Sorry guys. lol
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    all women are catty and jealous. Im surprised you're just figuring this out. Think of what you said/thought about skinny women when you were fat.
    Yeah, thanks, but I don't need you to speak for me. I'm not catty or jealous and never have been. I'm empathetic to a fault; it has hurt me many times (sometimes severely) but it's not in me to treat people badly. Even jerks who post sexist BS get an explanation rather than getting told off outright.
  • Starbec
    Starbec Posts: 43 Member
    I've always been on the thin side. After having 2 children and 2 sections I was lucky enough to be able to lose my pregnancy weight - but I was skinny fat. A few months ago I decided to get healthy and fit and I'm taking better care of my body - this has just increased the rude comments. "You don't need to exercise - you're already skinny" and "why do you eat salad for lunch?". OMG - people - its about being healthy and living a better life!!!

    I get so sick of people accusing me of having an eating disorder or telling me to "eat a hamburger".

    The "you're too skinny" or "you need to eat more" comments are just as annoying and hurtful as I'm sure the "larger" comments are to larger woman.
  • taahine01
    taahine01 Posts: 120 Member
    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?



    Sounds more like "BAD ATTITUDES/RUDENESS" than discrimination......
  • zooblflot
    zooblflot Posts: 131
    :)

    tumblr_lye5uqubVM1r2hffuo1_500.png

    I'll take the redhead in bottom left!
  • MariaMariaM
    MariaMariaM Posts: 1,322 Member
    I posted a rant about this yesterday on my profile. I have experienced this and for some reason people think it is OK to be rude when you are looking fit. I think it all comes from jealousy.
  • MariaMariaM
    MariaMariaM Posts: 1,322 Member
    I've always been on the thin side. After having 2 children and 2 sections I was lucky enough to be able to lose my pregnancy weight - but I was skinny fat. A few months ago I decided to get healthy and fit and I'm taking better care of my body - this has just increased the rude comments. "You don't need to exercise - you're already skinny" and "why do you eat salad for lunch?". OMG - people - its about being healthy and living a better life!!!

    I get so sick of people accusing me of having an eating disorder or telling me to "eat a hamburger".

    The "you're too skinny" or "you need to eat more" comments are just as annoying and hurtful as I'm sure the "larger" comments are to larger woman.

    These are the type of comments I get. That I look too skinny and what is wrong with me? Nothing is wrong!! I eat healthy and workout. I don't stuff my face with crap and don't go on drinking binges. The end result is a fit and healthy woman.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    ive been skinny and fat. the only person that has changed is me. everyone else stayed the same.
    i dont recall anyone being ugly to me based on my size. however, when i was bigger I was not nice. i was a fat miserable jerk therefore i acted like one.
    now that Im getting smaller Im a lot more pleasant dammit!
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Bump.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    So not only are fat women lazy, have no will power, not sexy, and don't deserve to have an ounce of self esteem but now they're b*tches too??? And you actually wonder why they are rude to you???

    I've been thin and I've been fat. Fat is way harder. When I was thin people saw the outside only. No one cared that I had a brain. I graduated top of my class and am a financial whiz. My first job was as a receptionist because they wanted the eye candy where the clients could see me. As a fat person people understand that I have a brain in here too. When I was thin or fat people were as nice to me as I was to them. If I looked askance at a fat person I got rudeness in return. If I told a skinny person they were too thin I got equal scorn. As a thin person I brushed the snide looks off as jealousy. As a fat person those exact same looks hurt because I know it's not jealousy.
  • MariaMariaM
    MariaMariaM Posts: 1,322 Member
    So not only are fat women lazy, have no will power, not sexy, and don't deserve to have an ounce of self esteem but now they're b*tches too??? And you actually wonder why they are rude to you???

    I've been thin and I've been fat. Fat is way harder. When I was thin people saw the outside only. No one cared that I had a brain. I graduated top of my class and am a financial whiz. My first job was as a receptionist because they wanted the eye candy where the clients could see me. As a fat person people understand that I have a brain in here too. When I was thin or fat people were as nice to me as I was to them. If I looked askance at a fat person I got rudeness in return. If I told a skinny person they were too thin I got equal scorn. As a thin person I brushed the snide looks off as jealousy. As a fat person those exact same looks hurt because I know it's not jealousy.

    I am not sure what you consider fat. I considered myself fat @ 155. I went down to 127 and friends, who were not fat and were probably a few pounds lower, would say good for you for losing weight. At 127, I was OK but I still wanted to get firmer and more defined. The same people today look at me with pity/disdain and say you are looking too skinny, you need to eat something, blah, blah, blah. Today I am down to 117 and change. IMO, I look fit and pretty damned healthy based on my recent biometrics. I don't have an eating disorder, in fact, I probably eat more than most women I know. In my experience women were nicer when I was bigger than they are today.

    Since I was able to lose weight the right way and keep it off, I do think people who complain about not being able to lose weight are not really making an effort. You can decide what to call that.
  • kedwardspcm
    kedwardspcm Posts: 45 Member
    All really great feedback and I can relate with everything everyone has posted - except the hating everybody post LOL. When I was fat, I admired thinner women. I mean, obviously. I quite literally worked my butt off to be a thinner woman. I admit, I was jealous of the women who didn't have to work hard for their figures. Still am as a matter of fact. However, I never - nor could I - be rude or mean to someone because of their weight. I mean, the list of instances of discrimination goes on and on. Another example; I took a timed fitness test among dozens of other women, most of which I would consider to be my "gym friends". After the test was over, and having done very well, I overheard a group of the large" women whispering about how I cheated. I most certainly did not cheat. Was really bummed by that. At the end of the day, I shrug it off because how I feel, health wise, is all that matters to me. I just wish society would not put so much emphasis on the exterior...
  • cbh142
    cbh142 Posts: 270 Member
    Women look for reasons to dislike other women. They will find something to not like about you no matter what your weight. Weight is an easy one though. I have worked with groups of women for a long time. It is primarily constant talking about eachother behind eachother's backs. Just for a disclaimer I have to say this doesn't apply to "all" women.
  • kedwardspcm
    kedwardspcm Posts: 45 Member
    Amen sister. That is a fact
  • kurenaikumo
    kurenaikumo Posts: 271 Member
    Until this past year, I've always lived near the "underweight" line, and even now, am just at the very peak of the "normal" range for my height. Personally I've never really had any problems like that, but I've always been rather tomboyish. I'm a jeans and t-shirt, low maintenance type chic. I'm also very short, and most women of any weight don't aspire to be mistaken for a middle school student from the back (true story, a hall monitor tried to "ticket" me at my daughter's school.......).

    I have a saying I use pretty often- "Women love to hate on women". It comes from insecurity/jealousy. If anything, smile to yourself that you have something other women want. Not your problem that they're not actively working to make changes, or have let themselves go to that point. Who cares what anyone else has to say in the first place? Hater's gon' hate.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
    I'm *****y about thin women who don't have to work at it (skinny-fat). The girls who can eat an entire cheesecake and not gain any weight and still be a size 2. I know my attitude is because I'm jealous...but it doesn't make me want to run them over any less lol. One of my best friends in grade school and high school was like that, it always made life seem unfair. But I got over it.