Discrimination against skinny/fit women
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LOVE this post!0 -
I agree with the non hating post. I have never been rude or jealous for that matter about other peoples appearance. I always admired those that took the time to take care of themselves and thought how lucky people with good genetics are.
Never understood the hating on other women. Only when I truly committed to get down and improve is that changes started happening for me. Maybe I understand it because I was fit(but nor as fit as I'm today) before I gain weight?0 -
This is why I work with computers and spend my free time on motorcyles
Outside of dance I stayed as far away from the women groups as possible. And I got to say, it's rediculous how those women treated themselves and eachother. And there were all different sizes and sauce from both sides.
I was treated horribly in highschool at 5'7 and 90 pounds. So many variations of your ugly and anorexic remarks and I ate more then everyone I knew. I'm 30 pounds over that now and can see how a person would think I need to eat more now as Im watching everything and on a diet site and I'm only eating my maintenance calories plus exercise calories and watching it all even though Im still considered slim. And this still seems to be a deficit for me as I'm still loosing weight. And I kind of understand people making comments and being concerned for me when I've never done these things before. What i don't understand are the people who say...you'd be pretty if your skin was a different color and your hair was different and you had a different face. It is beyond me why people would bring that up out of the blue.
And when I gained weight? Not a single comment was made even though I was eating a unhealthy amount of unhealthy food and didnt move and felt aweful.
Anyway thanks for making this post. Im just starting to notice the sly glares and things come back. It just hit me as to why.0 -
A person is jealous and petty regardless of what size they are. Skinny women have been rude to me AND large women have been rude to me. Perhaps they were jealous of me for some reason or another, or perhaps they just have sticks up their butts' and have miserable lives. Heck, I'm even guilty of it. I admit I roll my eyes when I hear a thin woman complain about how "fat" she is and when I see a morbidly obese woman who can barely walk I get disgusted. I'm human, however I don't let how judgmental I am affect how I treat them as people. I can't imagine what gives people the balls to say nasty things to others in public...0
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Having been underweight my whole life, just naturally skinny, I have had some horrible horrible things said to me, but all sorts of people, from strangers to job managers to medical staff) both as a highschooler right through to an adult woman. I am actively trying to gain right now, and it is not going on easy. the thing is I want to grainy healthy weight and muscle, not just fat, so eating 2000+ a day being at least slightly heath conscious can be a challenge. I was actually surprised but how mean people can be to skinny people on MFP, esp those trying to gain, like you are lying, you don't eat, or you have an ED. its a constant bombardment of "go eat a burger" jokes. I suppose there is the same meanness directed at fat people too in the real words (you are lazy, you eat too much, you don't "work at it enough" etc) I think the thing that I always found hurtful were those kinds of pics (like the one in this thread) that's say real women have curves, etc, etc, well, even after 2 baby's, I just never got curves, so what does that make me?? I would give anything for some curves and a bit of butt, I don't even have any freaking hips!0
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I'm sorry, but I thought you should know. The phrase is "just as soon...as", not "just assume...then". "She'd just as soon run me over as let me cross."She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it.0 -
I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.
Some women are rude to other women. Period.0 -
When I was fat, guys only saw me as a friend but girls were typically always nice to me.
When I got thinner, guys became more attracted to me and most girls were still nice to me but my "bigger" friends tended to get more offended or would tell me different excuses about why they don't diet or exercise. I think it was because they thought that I thought they were fat since I wanted to improve myself when they were (are) bigger than me. I don't really know why they gave me excuses for not exercising or eating in a certain way cause I never asked and frankly didn't care since it was none of my business.
I think the underlining problem is women compare themselves to others rather than comparing themselves to themselves and competing against themselves. It doesn't help that the people I'm thinking about don't really get alot of attention from the men so I try not to discuss the attention I get sometimes. I just don't want them to feel bad ... but sometimes I can't do anything about that.
I have definitely had my share of jealous moments towards girls who are more toned and fit than me.0 -
I've been on the thin side my entire life and have never been treated rudely on a regular basis. I mean, obviously we have all been treated rudely at some point because that's life. But I haven't noticed an abundance of it.0
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I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.
Some women are rude to other women. Period.
I agree that women are rude to women, period. However, I am undeniably and emphatically confident that there is a trend that did not exist before I was at the weight I am now. You could just as easily say that "people are rude to people, period" - which would be a true statement - and that racism (which is very real) was in the head of those who are discriminated against. As I said in my initial post, I have had people flat out say "I hate you" or "You b***ch" in a discussion surrounding my weight loss. I am pretty sure it doesn't get any clearer than that, if all the other instances were, in fact, just coincidence.0 -
I can relate to you. Really. I am short and stalky, no matter what I weigh. I will never look like either side of iconic beauty spectrum, whether it be Marilyn Monroe or Heidi Klum. We can only work with what the good Lord gave us and call it a day.0
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I read down this post and wondered the same thing as the first quote...if some people are just thinking in a different light now that they're different...but after spending over 25 years skinny, I am absolutely positive I've been shunned for my weight, and sometimes blatantly got told so. And I've been around to see others be rude to someone tiny and saucy comments exchanged when the person is gone. Though I'm sure there's times I'm just being paranoid, it's definitely a reality that it happens. The whole time I gained weight I never had a single comment or rudeness in that regard. I don't think it's a coincidence.I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.
Some women are rude to other women. Period.
I agree that women are rude to women, period. However, I am undeniably and emphatically confident that there is a trend that did not exist before I was at the weight I am now. You could just as easily say that "people are rude to people, period" - which would be a true statement - and that racism (which is very real) was in the head of those who are discriminated against. As I said in my initial post, I have had people flat out say "I hate you" or "You b***ch" in a discussion surrounding my weight loss. I am pretty sure it doesn't get any clearer than that, if all the other instances were, in fact, just coincidence.0 -
I've never been thin enough to receive catty remarks. My biggest problem is not being jealous of those who are thin. I can appreciate a nice looking body. My problem is the moaning and groaning when you only have 15 lbs or less to lose and they "just don't know what to do!" It is really hard to be sympathetic. I can even be supportive of a person who needs to gain weight. But a person who has never really had a weight problem cannot fully appreciate the struggle of the LARGE woman.0
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I have also been both thin/fit and heavy, and I have never seen what you talk about. there was, at times, small amounts of jealousy from heavier woman when I was thin, but nothing compared to the open hate and disgust I get as a fat woman in todays society. It is disgusting to me how heavy set people are treated as a lower class in this nation. When I was thin I never had people put me down openly, look at me in disgust for simply leaving my home, or openly mock me just for not being perfect.0
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Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?She'd just assume run me over then let me cross.
Lol. I think that's just applicable to bad/impatient drivers in general. To equate it with someone's weight is just silly.
As a side note, and because I'm a grammar nerd, I have to say:
You meant "..of overweight women THAN the other way around," not "then."
"Just assume" should be: "just as soon."
You meant "THAN let me cross," not "then."
Also.... I think, if this is true (which seems hard to believe, considering I've known A LOT of awful skinny/thin/fit people - male and female), then people might be nicer to you when you're fat because they're hypocrites. They're nice to your face when your fat because they feel bad for you - they aren't "accepting" you, they just might assume* you have a hard/rotten enough life already, so they'll be kind to your face and then talk *kitten* about you later. 0 -
These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross.
Heavy people do more damage to your car than light people.0 -
I'll admit though, when I'm at the store or mall and I see these really huge women.....I truly feel nothing but disgust. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to when I can see the damage they are doing to their bodies, the same kind of damage I've done to mine.
You mean the ones lined up at Cinnabon?
Yes, context is everything.
But i love Cinnabon!0 -
A person is jealous and petty regardless of what size they are. Skinny women have been rude to me AND large women have been rude to me. Perhaps they were jealous of me for some reason or another, or perhaps they just have sticks up their butts' and have miserable lives. Heck, I'm even guilty of it. I admit I roll my eyes when I hear a thin woman complain about how "fat" she is and when I see a morbidly obese woman who can barely walk I get disgusted. I'm human, however I don't let how judgmental I am affect how I treat them as people. I can't imagine what gives people the balls to say nasty things to others in public...
^^^ This. I am the same way too.... and to be honest... as a currently bigger person... If I look like I'm going to run you over with my car. It's probably because you are jaywalking on a seven lane major street during 5 o'clock rush hour, because you are too lazy to walk to the nearest intersection to safely cross the street. Weight has nothing to do with it... just the stupidity of trying to cross a semi highway during rush hour.0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?She'd just assume run me over then let me cross.
Lol. I think that's just applicable to bad/impatient drivers in general. To equate it with someone's weight is just silly.
As a side note, and because I'm a grammar nerd, I have to say:
You meant "..of overweight women THAN the other way around," not "then."
"Just assume" should be: "just as soon."
You meant "THAN let me cross," not "then."
Also.... I think, if this is true (which seems hard to believe, considering I've known A LOT of awful skinny/thin/fit people - male and female), then people might be nicer to you when you're fat because they're hypocrites. They're nice to your face when your fat because they feel bad for you - they aren't "accepting" you, they just might assume* you have a hard/rotten enough life already, so they'll be kind to your face and then talk *kitten* about you later.
Thank you for your grammatical tips. After I posted and reread, the "than" and "then" became apparent to me. With regard to the phrase, that was my blonde coming through
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Now, with regard to your opinion I have to say that because you are a man you're less likely to have a creditable opinion on the matter LOL. I'm sorry, but the male/female dynamic is not the same as the female/female dynamic. Although you may have known a lot of skinny/thin/fit people, the question is really only relative to those who are or have been living as fat or thin woman. As a side note; Everyday I have to cross the CROSSWALK to get from my car to the double doors of my gym. My gym in nestled in the same complex as a Costco. On numerous occasions I have started to cross, as pedestrians have the right of way, and have been nearly plowed over by car. The driver always fits the same description - a woman. I assure you that it is not a figment of my imagination. I am sure I have punctuational and grammatical errors in this reply, as well. No need to critique. Fortunately, I work with numbers for a living0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?She'd just assume run me over then let me cross.
Lol. I think that's just applicable to bad/impatient drivers in general. To equate it with someone's weight is just silly.
As a side note, and because I'm a grammar nerd, I have to say:
You meant "..of overweight women THAN the other way around," not "then."
"Just assume" should be: "just as soon."
You meant "THAN let me cross," not "then."
Also.... I think, if this is true (which seems hard to believe, considering I've known A LOT of awful skinny/thin/fit people - male and female), then people might be nicer to you when you're fat because they're hypocrites. They're nice to your face when your fat because they feel bad for you - they aren't "accepting" you, they just might assume* you have a hard/rotten enough life already, so they'll be kind to your face and then talk *kitten* about you later.
Thank you for your grammatical tips. After I posted and reread, the "than" and "then" became apparent to me. With regard to the phrase, that was my blonde coming through .
Now, with regard to your opinion I have to say that because you are a man you're less likely to have a creditable opinion on the matter LOL. I'm sorry, but the male/female dynamic is not the same as the female/female dynamic. Although you may have known a lot of skinny/thin/fit people, the question is really only relative to those who are or have been living as fat or thin woman. As a side note; Everyday I have to cross the CROSSWALK to get from my car to the double doors of my gym. My gym in nestled in the same complex as a Costco. On numerous occasions I have started to cross, as pedestrians have the right of way, and have been nearly plowed over by car. The driver always fits the same description - a woman. I assure you that it is not a figment of my imagination. I am sure I have punctuational and grammatical errors in this reply, as well. No need to critique. Fortunately, I work with numbers for a living
Wow. You really think that heavy women intentionally try to mow you down in parking lots? Did it ever occur to you that Costco is where a lot of stay at home moms and moms in general do their shopping? I shop there and there is probably one guy for every 10 women while I'm there. And, yes, a lot of them are overweight, just because its a common thing for moms, who would be most likely to be shopping at Costco, to struggle with weight after kids. So I'd venture to guess the odds are in favor that if someone was going to almost hit you in a crosswalk at Costco - it would probably be an overweight woman. And if you're almost getting hit by cars often enough to make generalizations about it, I would suggest that you may be the one who needs to pay attention while crossing the street.
I'm a not bitter overweight woman trying to bring you down by writing this. Yet somehow I don't experience any of this "hatred". You're not being persecuted by fat women. I think its all in your head. It is just really insulting to heavier women to portray them as seething hate-filled sows that try to run over thin women in parking lots.0 -
I tend to hate everyone equally.
Makes life simpler.
And I can't wait to be hated on for being a sexy b*tch. 0 -
first row is hotter.
Figures. :huh:0 -
People can be mean in general, fat, thin, in shape, chubbed out, etc. If they want to find something to be grouchy about, they will.
Try not to take it personally. Sometimes they have other things going on in their lives (family issues, health issues, financial, careers, sick kids) and if they are acting less than proper, that could be a reason.
Other times, people just go around looking to piss people off or with a chip on their shoulder, their attitude sucks so badly they just do it naturally.
You can't really do anything about it but try to stay positive and focused on yourself and what will help you live your best life.0 -
I am jelous of people who are fit (not skinny as can be) But for that reason is I used to be fit before I had kids, and its more me being upset with myself. I could never hate someone or be rude to them because I lacked taking care of myself once i started having kids. Now 3 kids later. We are dont with babies and so its time for me to get into shape.. And i have never been rude to a bigger person... When people are rude, it kills their self esteem. We should pride them for getting out and trying to make a better life for themselves, then to make snark comments on their size..0
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Let your haters, be your motivators.0
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Who gives a rip?? Who gives a d*** what someone else thinks of my body? I've got one life, I'm going to live it.
I've never been fat, but I was pudgy at around 159 lbs once. My weight reflected the inner state of my mind, and what I was going through in my life at the time. UNHEALTHY.
I changed some things, got my s*** together... and I could care LESS what another female thinks about my body. It's nice to receive compliments, but if I let the criticisms or the compliments go to my head... it would just slow me down.0 -
hmmmm - skinny, overweight doesn't have to do with it at all... it is the hateful personality. where do you hang out to be exposed to such treatment...0
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I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.
Some women are rude to other women. Period.
I agree that women are rude to women, period. However, I am undeniably and emphatically confident that there is a trend that did not exist before I was at the weight I am now. You could just as easily say that "people are rude to people, period" - which would be a true statement - and that racism (which is very real) was in the head of those who are discriminated against. As I said in my initial post, I have had people flat out say "I hate you" or "You b***ch" in a discussion surrounding my weight loss. I am pretty sure it doesn't get any clearer than that, if all the other instances were, in fact, just coincidence.
If people say "I hate you" or "you *****" during a simple discussion surrounding your weight I would assume that is sarcasm. If it's not sarcasm (which I highly doubt) and more than one person has said this to you perhaps you say offensive things without realizing. Just doesn't make much sense to me..0 -
A couple of years ago, i lost about 24lbs, to everyones surprise i looked completely different from my old overweight self. I gained confidence, and i was much louder. However a few of my female friends didnt liek this...as i was no longer the sad fat friend. The quality of my life increased, and i was having fun for the first time in my life. I fell out with alot of friends because they found new ways to put me down, lets just mention that one of my closest friends was obese,- morbidly that is, and the other friend was overweight. Im not exactly attractive, but i know that they tried loosing weight and kept giving up, so when i lost weight successfully, they hated every inch of me. Its actually the skinny friends i had, that supported me. And gave me compliments, and told me how different i looked, or just noticed that i lost weight. They were positive towards me. But i have to say that there were a few slim girls that hated me too. Because i felt better about myself, but they were always just horrible people, where as my closes friends were more supportive of me when i was fat lol...so yeah. Women in general need to learn how to love each other...instead of hating one another.0
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it sounds to me like you are discriminating yourself. A "heavy-set "woman wanting to run you over? An "over-weight" woman not holding the door for you-sounds like YOU have the issue.
Sounds like these people are just rude but you are choosing to focus on their size as a reason for their behavior.
people are rude! In all shapes and sizes!0
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