Ladies: Three Day Rule?

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Replies

  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.

    Have your friend pass her friend a note in Gym Class.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.

    Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."

    Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

    As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.

    Yep, I'm the king of "let's drive to Vegas and get married". I am known to be pretty spur of the moment and jumping in all the way. So, for me and my personality, it's actually considerate for me to take a few days and regroup. Otherwise I might tell you I love you and want to move to Tuscany that evening. And, actually do it. Lol.

    I'm kind of the same way. My last girlfriend...well, our first date was totally spur of the moment. She lived 150 miles away, we'd met one weekend by being at the same pool hall (she was there with friends). We talked on the phone for a few days, and I told her how much it sucked that I couldn't see her. She told me that it would be awesome to see me NOW. I told her I can be there in an hour and a half...and she thought I was kidding. An hour and a half later (9:30pm) we were on our way to a late dinner and a movie. The date lasted until 5am (out of the house no less), and I drove home to get the kids to school on time.

    Spontaneity is awesome...taking time to judge your feelings is intelligent.

    Calling anytime within 10 minutes to 24hrs after the date, doesn't change either of those things.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.

    Have your friend pass her friend a note in Gym Class.

    +1 internet
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    I dont date, we hang out and if we like eachother we hang out some more-Ty
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
    Do what you feel is right. If it went really well, you can call her that night or the next day. 3 days is kind of long. When a guy calls me 3 days later I feel like he's not really into me.

    Exactly. If you're into her, show her. Don't lead her on. If you are OK with waiting three days to talk to her again, it probably isn't right and you should just move on and not waste anyones time.

    FWIW, I met hubby on a Saturday night, and he found me online (it was myspace - back in the day!) right when he got home. I didn't mind, and I could tell that he was actually into me. Four years later we were married.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member


    Maybe. I actually am super busy most of the time, so it's the truth. I just mean you don't want to seem like you just sit around watching tv all the time and really have nothing else going on in your life. And, if that is the case, besides it being sad, you need to disguise it. Lol.

    If you're actually busy, then it's fine to do what you said. No argument there. If one really is sitting around watching TV and has nothing else going on in life, that will come out pretty quickly if it gets beyond a few dates. No need to disguise it - even couch potatoes with no life have a soulmate out there somewhere. :-P
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    I dont date, we hang out and if we like eachother we hang out some more-Ty

    You were doing some serious "speed dating on crack" hanging out in your thread yesterday. lol
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    I dont date, we hang out and if we like eachother we hang out some more-Ty

    You were doing some serious "speed dating on crack" hanging out in your thread yesterday. lol
    its a curse really-I Try-Ty
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    Do what you feel is right. If it went really well, you can call her that night or the next day. 3 days is kind of long. When a guy calls me 3 days later I feel like he's not really into me.

    Exactly. If you're into her, show her. Don't lead her on. If you are OK with waiting three days to talk to her again, it probably isn't right and you should just move on and not waste anyones time.

    FWIW, I met hubby on a Saturday night, and he found me online (it was myspace - back in the day!) right when he got home. I didn't mind, and I could tell that he was actually into me. Four years later we were married.

    My hubby texted me at 4AM to make sure I got home OK. I figured he was just texting to make sure I gave him my actual number. lol But, when he called the next day, I knew he was actually into me. We have been together for just over 3 years now. :)
  • MystiqueASAP
    MystiqueASAP Posts: 747
    In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.

    Rules are meant to be broken! :smile:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    In the electronic age, it is perfectly ok to call or text within a day. Any longer and she might think you aren't into her.
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
    Do what you feel is right. If it went really well, you can call her that night or the next day. 3 days is kind of long. When a guy calls me 3 days later I feel like he's not really into me.

    Exactly. If you're into her, show her. Don't lead her on. If you are OK with waiting three days to talk to her again, it probably isn't right and you should just move on and not waste anyones time.

    FWIW, I met hubby on a Saturday night, and he found me online (it was myspace - back in the day!) right when he got home. I didn't mind, and I could tell that he was actually into me. Four years later we were married.
    This is what I mean. He was into you. He showed it.
    Dating isn't a game...I don't know any other aspect of life where its appropriate to put someone off if you have an interest in them being a part of your life. Why do that to a person who could be a part of your future?

    My hubby texted me at 4AM to make sure I got home OK. I figured he was just texting to make sure I gave him my actual number. lol But, when he called the next day, I knew he was actually into me. We have been together for just over 3 years now. :)
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    TEXTING is the easy way out of actually making an effort,, it merely buys you some time with out a lot of thought, put the energy in to her and it will pay off-Ty * 2-3 dayz call back depending o nthe situation if you already have slept with her or trying to sleep with her, if shes into you you will get there, guyz be patient, they want Mr. Right, not Mr.RIGHT NOW so have a back up until then- Thats your PSA for today
  • IndyInk
    IndyInk Posts: 212

    To play devils advocate, if a guy does wait three days then calls doesn't it make it all the more worth it when the call actually comes through? That's the whole idea isn't it?


    I don't speak for all women... but trust, for me, is sexy. You can be trustworthy and not boring. I prefer Mr. Hero and Mr. Reliable over Mr. Indecisive or Mr. Flaky. It's very attractive when I can trust a man to call, especially in the beginning when things are most unstable and iffy... because he's allowing me to NOT become a nag or a mom replacement (which I refuse to be).

    That said, "games" are kind of unavoidable. I hate it too, but even if you aren't a manipulator, both sexes have enormous amounts of unspoken rules to play by in order to convey "I like you" and "I don't like you"... and for every message we send, there's huge opportunity for misunderstanding. It's unfair, but a lot of great people make it work.

    I wish all the luck in the world to the OP and his sweetie. :)
  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
    If you like her, just call or text whenever you want. Those rules are so stupid! My husband called me the morning right after we met and I loved it! We have been together for 11 years now =)
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    Step 1: Cut a hole in a box
    ...
    Profit!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.

    Rules are meant to be broken! :smile:

    If you know you've met The One, all rules are out the window.
  • BalenciaLynn
    BalenciaLynn Posts: 411 Member
    Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.

    That's what I think but I actually know people, men and women, who swear by it.

    and are these men and women still single :p
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Those rules are stupid!
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    Those rules are dumb, but you don't want to see needy...
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
    Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.

    That's what I think but I actually know people, men and women, who swear by it.
    don't you think it's best to be yourself and let HER be the judge. if she likes it, cool..if she doesn't, "next."
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    Those rules are dumb, but you don't want to see needy...

    He might not want to seem needy either.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.


    someone was watching HIMYM lastnight, lol. And, that rule came from the movie Swingers...... stupid. Wait that long and I'll have moved on. (back when I was single, that is, lol). My husband didn't wait and he got the girl. :wink:
  • Pokermom10
    Pokermom10 Posts: 78 Member
    If you're texting her or calling her to tell her that you had a good time, and would like to do it again, anywhere from the minute you walk away to the next day is fine.

    If you're texting her or calling her to tell her that she is the love of your life and you want to marry her and have babies and grow old together (after the first date!), that's kinda creepy.

    Girls like me don't want you to play games. If there's a spark, why wait 3 days to confirm it? If she texts back or feels the same way about wanting to go out again, she'll let you know. IMO, the 3 day rule should be abolished.

    ^^^ this
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Usually, after three days, the flow is light enough not to bother me much. I don't always wait though. We just lay a towel out.
  • Tashry
    Tashry Posts: 151 Member
    The best option: After the date, by about an hour, send the girl a text saying you had fun and would like to do it again. It's non-confrontational, it won't send her packing, and if anything it will reinforce that you like her. Hopefully she'll head to bed thinking about what to do with you next :wink:

    ^ This...definitely this.

    If the date went well and then I didn't hear from the guy for 3 days I would assume he wasn't at all into me.

    Throw away the "rules". People who follow that way of thinking are more into mind games/control than following their own intuition or feelings.
  • rachelsewardxo
    rachelsewardxo Posts: 31
    Definitely call or text her ! If you like her there's no reason to wait
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
    I'm a romantic, I guess. My opinion, go with it. If you're feeling it, reach out and touch.

    I don't want you pulling out the rule book or the instruction manual when we're together.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Wow, really interesting getting a female perspective on this as I've often wondered myself. I think there's definitely legs in the 'keep them mean...' saying but judging from the female's perspective it isn't overly appreciated (some number deletions after two days, ladies really!?)

    To play devils advocate, if a guy does wait three days then calls doesn't it make it all the more worth it when the call actually comes through? That's the whole idea isn't it?

    As for me, I usually go with gut instinct, if I've had a nice date with a lady I will usually send an appreciative text to say thank you that night and not necessarily leading anywhere, just guage the response from the lady and go from there. The 'let me know you're home safe' is a good one also, as it sets up an opening for a dialogue and timeframe without implying anything too much.

    I think the advice to go with gut instinct is pretty good, if you had a real connection you'll know if it feels right to text sooner - just don't be over eager or call/text too much.


    Honestly? No. We live in a world of instant gratification. No one wants to be dangled about with no contact for 3 days.
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