Discrimination against skinny/fit women
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eww....not cuz im curvy but i really dont see anything good there0
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I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES ...WHILE BEING HEAVY EVERY INCLUDING MY HUSBAND AT THE TIME DIDNT WANT TO BE SEEN WITH ME AND EVERYONE KEPT GIVING ME DIET IDEAS THAT I NEVER ASKED FOR ....I DIDNT EVEN GET THE "YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE" QUOTE .... I FINALLY GOT TIRED ...I KEPT TO MYSELF AND DELETED ALL MY SO CALLED "FRIENDS" FROM MY LIFE AND DECIDED THE GYM WAS MY NEW FRIEND ....ONCE I LOST THE WEIGHT THATS WHEN ALL THE RUMORS STARTED ON HOW I WAS AWAY SO LONG I MUST OF HAD LIPO...TUMMY TUCKS... FACE LIFT...BODY LIFT ...YOU NAME IT I HAD IT..... TILL THIS DAY THEY STILL ASKED WHAT I HAD DONE WHEN I LOST THE WEIGHT..... IM CHUBBY NOW AND PEOPLE ARE STILL NOT HAPPY.... BUT I DONT CARE IM HEALTHY AND HAPPY WITH WHAT MATTERS MOST (FAMILY)
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Maybe I'm sheltered but the only places I have seen such discrimination (against fit, skinny, fat women) is on the internet. People reeeally like to rip a person to shreds when they can't look them in the eye.
As for the real world I really do not think it happens nearly as much (at least not so blatantly). Last time I was "made fun of" for the way I look (and CARED) was in high school.
Maybe the endorphins are just making me so happy-go-lucky that no one can ruin my day! :happy:0 -
wow!! people still commenting on this one ... who came up with the term skinny/fit ... skinny/fat ... weird0
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Christina Hendricks. So gorgeous.0 -
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I was never fat, but I was on the larger side of normal for a bit. Lost the weight, and suddenly it's totally fine to say things like "You need to eat a sandwich!" or "Why are you eating like a rabbit? Eat a hamburger."
If I said to someone who was overweight that was eating a hamburger "Really? Why don't you eat a salad." I'd be b@$%#-slapped, because that's totally inappropriate to question their eating habits.
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So true. I was a stick figure in high school. It was totally accepted by teachers and peers for me to be openly accused of having an eating disorder and be told I need to eat an ice cream, but if somebody called someone fat or told them to put down the fork, they were a total bag of **** for it.
Why is it considered less hurtful for people to ask someone to follow you to the bathroom to make sure you aren't puking up what you ate?
I went out of my way to gain weight because I was so unhappy and than I still wasn't happy. Only now that I'm making healthy choices do I feel good about myself.0 -
I encounter it daily. I am actually surprised when other women are nice to me. Just yesterday at the admin lunch it was like being a sacrificial lamb during the ordering process...no i dont want suateed whatever..yes i want steamed veggies...what does it matter??? Do i trash talk other people for getting extra salad dressing etc???? NO!!!!!! Why scrutinize every food choice I make??
Women say dumb things like I don't eat, or I don't understand , or Im so lucky b/c I'm skinny...well bishes...I'm not skinny. I'm fit...and it's a daily struggle just like anything else worth obtaining is.
I feel like I am objective and non discriminatory towards heavier people and if someone reaches out to me for help...I definitely offer it. But most of what I hear back is excuses and about how easy it is for me. My feeling on this??? Refer to the last sentence of my paragraph above.
Adding...I know I keep saying "women" I guess I dont find that unfit or heavier men care or discriminate so much...0 -
I am thin, not as thin as I'd like to be but I am thinner than my female friends because I WORK MY *kitten* OFF! I eat pretty well, I work out, I say no to treats and sweets even if I really want them! I think it's pretty stupid how you can't tell someone they are fat but you can comment however you like on a slim person!!!0
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I encounter it daily. I am actually surprised when other women are nice to me. Just yesterday at the admin lunch it was like being a sacrificial lamb during the ordering process...no i dont want suateed whatever..yes i want steamed veggies...what does it matter??? Do i trash talk other people for getting extra salad dressing etc???? NO!!!!!! Why scrutinize every food choice I make??
Women say dumb things like I don't eat, or I don't understand , or Im so lucky b/c I'm skinny...well bishes...I'm not skinny. I'm fit...and it's a daily struggle just like anything else worth obtaining is.
I feel like I am objective and non discriminatory towards heavier people and if someone reaches out to me for help...I definitely offer it. But most of what I hear back is excuses and about how easy it is for me. My feeling on this??? Refer to the last sentence of my paragraph above.
Adding...I know I keep saying "women" I guess I dont find that unfit or heavier men care or discriminate so much...
It's called 'estrogen flinging' I hear, and I recently learned that getting hit with estrogen is like being hit with a kitty, manicured claws out attacking a ball of yarn.
/shrug...I think we guys are immune.
Anyway, take it as a compliment. It sucks...but it's only because they're jealous, and refuse to take the steps you've taken, two at a time. We men deal with similar things...if a little more subtle. Mostly for us it's just the jealous guys talking crap behind our backs.
Works out to be the same thing too...I just ignore it, or if it's impossible to ignore, ask them calmly and politely if they have an issue with me they'd like to address.
No takers so far.0 -
I just don't think you can generalise and say "fat women are mean to thin women", it's not that simple.
I think what is happening is that if you are at a place in your life (like most of us here on MFP) where weight/size is an issue then that is a distinguishing factor that you remember and comment on.
If someone is rude to you, when you go away and tell your friends about it, you categorise them as "that thin woman was rude" or "that fat woman was rude".
But, If you are focussed on financial issues at this point in time you might say "that rich woman was rude" or if other things are happening in your life you might say "that tourist was rude" or "that blonde woman was rude", "that bogan was rude", "that student was rude"... you get the idea.
I think the point I'm trying to make is that we perceive the world through a set of filters that change depending on our particular issues at the time. Some people are rude, some aren't. That's life, don't waste too much time getting bothered by other people.0 -
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I wear a size zero...I think I could hardly be classified as bones btw....
But this is exactly the point....can I say..."real mean like thin fit women...not 'curvy' girls"???? Or more specifically pinpoint someone's actual size...."real men like thin fit women, not size 16" etc...
No because that's rude and discriminatory.0 -
Personal preference of course, but I'll take all the ones in the second row before I gave the first a 2nd look
That's not the point of the picture. The point is that ALL women of ALL different body types can be beautiful. Saying any woman is better than another or more worthy of your attention because of her body shape is just silly. It would be a boring world if everyone was the same and body-shaming in ALL of its forms, is hurtful and not on.0 -
Some women, of whatever weight and shape, are horrible to other women. They could help it but don't want to - they feel better when they are pulling somebody else down. I wonder sometimes if somebody who was very obese and lost the weight - feels they deserve more acknowledgement and therefore post about other people 'putting them down'? Is the putting down 'real' or is it just that somebody wants to start a discussion on it with a 'reason', ie. that it's happening to them? It's not just this board. Some people seem desperate to fall into a 'camp' and have others validate them. It's really divisive and I can't see that it achieves anything other than a (low-fat) bunfight.
In person, I wouldn't comment on anybody's weight or what they're eating... I will say things like, "That dress looks fantastic on you", or "The colour of that jacket suits you so well", or just "You look beautiful". You can say those things to anybody and not cause offence. People only really cause offence when they either mean to - or don't care enough to consider what they say so they don't.
Whoever originally provided the adage of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all", had no idea that chatboards were coming... they'd be ghost towns!0 -
Bahahahaha!!! Yeah, EVERYONE said that about that bagel pic, LOL. All you boob crazy ladies! Love it.Having been underweight my whole life, just naturally skinny, I have had some horrible horrible things said to me, but all sorts of people, from strangers to job managers to medical staff) both as a highschooler right through to an adult woman. I am actively trying to gain right now, and it is not going on easy. the thing is I want to grainy healthy weight and muscle, not just fat, so eating 2000+ a day being at least slightly heath conscious can be a challenge. I was actually surprised but how mean people can be to skinny people on MFP, esp those trying to gain, like you are lying, you don't eat, or you have an ED. its a constant bombardment of "go eat a burger" jokes. I suppose there is the same meanness directed at fat people too in the real words (you are lazy, you eat too much, you don't "work at it enough" etc) I think the thing that I always found hurtful were those kinds of pics (like the one in this thread) that's say real women have curves, etc, etc, well, even after 2 baby's, I just never got curves, so what does that make me?? I would give anything for some curves and a bit of butt, I don't even have any freaking hips!
This is totally off topic but when I first saw your profile pic I thought they were boobs hahaha0 -
I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
I've felt this too...0 -
When women see a woman who has a body they've always wanted but haven't been able to work hard enough to get, they get jealous. Jealousy is a very curious thing, in my opinion. I've always said that. It makes people do and say ridiculous things.
I'll be honest, I used to judge women who were thin and pretty. I did a mental recheck and decided to start finding a positive in them and now when I see a gorgeous lady, I think "wow, she's very pretty, I need to work hard so I can be fit like her" or something along those lines.
That being said, I would consider myself to be fairly thin (I wear size small in most stores) and I find I get nasty looks from people. It's different than when I was heavier, that's for sure. But when I was heavier, I would get looks from some thin women and I know they would make a remark.
I think that it's important to not judge right away. When I meet someone, I don't even pay attention to the size (and yes, I notice, but I with hold any judgement) and I get to know them a little bit.0 -
I'm sorry, but this is extremely rude. THIS is what the OP is talking about.
ALL women are WOMEN. Size million to size negative million.0 -
I want to say that I am overweight by over 100 pounds (but i'm working on that) and when I read this thread I was not offended in any way. I think if someone doesn't hold a door for someone or would try to run them over it has to do with their character not their weight. I will admit in society there is a division between thin and fat and I for one don't like that. Even though i'm overweight, obesely so at the moment, I will still hold a door for people and let people cross the street. Common courtsey gets people a long way and I don't think they realize this. I can certainly appreciate when people are good shape, wearing nice clothes, or their hair looks nice and I will often compliment people no matter what their weight is because I honestly like their shirt or whatever I'm complementing them on. I don't see weight or judge people. If your thin and healthy and happy then awesome! If your fat and healthy and happy then awesome! Sorry this is so long but I just wanted to say that not all of us fat girls would run thin people over or be mean to them.0
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Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
Spend enough time on these boards and you'll see it here too. There's a lot of hate for the fit women here for some reason.0 -
I am not skinny but I was quite thin at one time...I just dont let what others say bother me either way...if they dont like how I look they can look the other way. Life is to short to be angry about what everyone thinks or says. all i know is i am living my life to the best of my ability and anyone doesnt like it they can kiss it! LoL0
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Sorry, but rude women are rude, and nice women are nice. Some of them are fat, and some of them are thin. I can't really appreciate these generalisations at all.
Admittedly, I'll judge a morbidly obese woman in the street (and I'd like to think this isn't visible on my face - more a "woman, sort it out" in my head). But I'll similarly judge an excessively (unhealthily) thin person to exactly the same degree. Admittedly, women can have a tendency to "critique" other women, but on myriad factors - this goes way beyond weight, and there is always something to criticise if you're willing to try hard enough.
And as an aside, as someone who has always been naturally skinny-fat (now attempting to be skinny-fit), there is nothing more universally annoying than the phrase "real women".0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?
I have most definilty experienced this. I have always been on the thin but curvy side, I have weight issues but they are ones that are mainly in my head bc I am so hard on myself, anyway I have had women on here bash me, make very nasty comments on forums or in messages towards me that were very uncalled for, I brought up the fact I was a dancer in a post I made & a very overweight women felt to need to say I am a "slut" "ugly" "nothing to be jealous over" "that I don't belong on here" etc... Its very hurtful, not everyone is on here with a large weight-loss goal, I just like to keep track of my intake for the most part. But I don't look at fat or thin or fit women any differently because I don't judge people based off appearance, I have had my feeling hurt so often for having a different appearance & people judging me based off looks. I couldn't make another person feel that way & wouldn't want too. A lot of it is also jealously I think & that is just wrong & pointless. Jealously is a useless emotion, If you don't like you CHANGE it. Don't take it out on someone who may look better.
Also in my line of work (part time- exotic dancer) Groups of women will come in (normally very overweight ones) & sit near the back of the club & point & laugh, make rude comments, pick our bodies apart etc.. I think that is so pathetic! To purposely go out on a friday night with a goal of putting others down because you have no confidence or self esteem. I always just wanna say "Okay that dancer may have a little cellulite/small boobs/bad boob job/bad hair/whatever it could be, nobody is perfect but how do you think people would act if you were on stage? oh wait you wouldn't get hired or be allowed on stage, even if you were you don't have the confidence to put yourself out their like we do!" UGH
Since I stopped comparing myself to other women and put my energies into making the best of myself instead I am so much happier. I can't believe the nasty comments I hear or read every day on Twitter/news websites about girls called "fake" or "sluts" or have their bodies searched for the slightest flaw, all out of jealousy! If somebody puts the work in to look good they should be congratulated. It seems to have become some sort of feminist crime to want to look attractive, as if you're letting the side down and bowing to male pressure to want to make the best of yourself! I have massive respect for anybody who works out and has a good body no matter what my own looks like. This is the best piece of advice I've heard in a while: "Jealously is a useless emotion, If you don't like you CHANGE it. Don't take it out on someone who may look better."0 -
Sorry, but rude women are rude, and nice women are nice. Some of them are fat, and some of them are thin. I can't really appreciate these generalisations at all.
Admittedly, I'll judge a morbidly obese woman in the street (and I'd like to think this isn't visible on my face - more a "woman, sort it out" in my head). But I'll similarly judge an excessively (unhealthily) thin person to exactly the same degree. Admittedly, women can have a tendency to "critique" other women, but on myriad factors - this goes way beyond weight, and there is always something to criticise if you're willing to try hard enough.
And as an aside, as someone who has always been naturally skinny-fat (now attempting to be skinny-fit), there is nothing more universally annoying than the phrase "real women".
Agree with this too, all women are "real" regardless of how fat, thin or muscly they are! I hate this phrase so much.0 -
I'm sorry, but this is extremely rude. THIS is what the OP is talking about.
ALL women are WOMEN. Size million to size negative million.
Agreed.
And since when did Betty Boop look like that? The character was drawn as an exaggerated hourglass, which are the kind of curves I think of when I hear "curvy."0 -
I have a HUGE appreciation for fit women. I myself being a woman have never spit venom about how good a woman looks. I am usually that chick who says "Wow she is hott, good for her!" And overweight women (which I happen to be) are just women in my eyes. I don't oh and ah over em. But I most certainly do not go out of my way to be nasty to either fit or flabby women.0
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I'm 268lbs and I have ZERO hate for the fit/skinny women but yet I have hate for the larger women who dont do ANYTHING for their weight! I mean I see 400lbs women eating whatever the *kitten* they want and they think their down right sexy! And...and.. They have BOYFRIENDS! Here I come I'm working on myself inside and out and people talk ****. You cant please no one these days except for yourself! People are going to talk about you no matter what! They talked about you when you first came to this earth and they will talk about you when you leave this earth....so what can you do????? Do you! And dont listen to the haters!0
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I'm 268lbs and I have ZERO hate for the fit/skinny women but yet I have hate for the larger women who dont do ANYTHING for their weight! I mean I see 400lbs women eating whatever the *kitten* they want and they think their down right sexy! And...and.. They have BOYFRIENDS! Here I come I'm working on myself inside and out and people talk ****. You cant please no one these days except for yourself! People are going to talk about you no matter what! They talked about you when you first came to this earth and they will talk about you when you leave this earth....so what can you do????? Do you! And dont listen to the haters!
They have boyfriends because they have confidence and they love themselves.
Why do you hate them? How is what they do affecting you?0 -
You're right.0
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I bet the same thing happens when a "poor" person becomes wealthy. People inherently don't like those different from them. It may not be size, or social class, or color, or religion, but everyone has some intolerance for someone not like them.0
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