Discrimination against skinny/fit women

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Replies

  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
    From my experience women are just evil....people really but I notice it alot more with women..Weight, size, parenting choices, if you do something different than what they agree with they become evil.
  • brendansmom1
    brendansmom1 Posts: 526 Member
    I personally can see both sides...not that I have ever been "thin" persay, but on a journey and everyone knows it! LOL What bothers me is NOT that person is fit and or thin...it is their attitude about it.....they way they carry themselves or relate to others. I cannot STAND a person with a "holier than thou" attitude...fit or fat!!

    We are all unique....and should be respected for that. Sure, we have all thought things to ourselves...especially (for me) when I see someone very unfit...I wonder if they try, etc....but I would never TREAT them any differently!!

    Anyway, off my box. Carry on. LOL
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    From my experience women are just evil....people really but I notice it alot more with women..Weight, size, parenting choices, if you do something different than what they agree with they become evil.

    Way to generalize!
  • It really does come from Jealousy. I know it from experiencing the jealousy. I too have been on both sides. As a teenager and in my early 20's I was 110 pounds soaking wet. Then my metabolism slowed and i started gaining. Once I had my two children I have stayed over 200 pounds. It sucks. I can't help but look and thinner more fit women and be insanely jealous, but I am in NO way rude enough to vocalize my thoughts. I recognize it for what it is and actually use it to drive myself harder in workouts. I'll feel like I just can't finish my Zumba class and I will look and the gorgeously thin girl next to me and think...I am going to look like that again, but I never will if i don't get through this!!! It pushes me. Yes I am the fat flabby girl but I have moved to the front of the class from the back and i stand where I can make sure the instructor sees me. that also drives me to keep going because I dont want them to see me quit. So yes I do think "skinny b***h" but I will not treat anyone badly unless they have done something to actually deserve it!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    ...
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I never really noticed much difference in the way people treat me depending on my size, but after going through a bad time with bullying in my early teens (when I was very skinny, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it), nothing tends to bother me much. Not everyone is going to like me or be nice to me. I'm used to that.

    BUT... when I was very thin, I did hear, "Don't you ever eat?" quite often. No one every said, "Don't you ever stop eating?" when I was chunkier.

    I understand that people can be very rude to heavier people. I've seen it, heard it, stood up against it. But people were more apt to comment on my size and food when I was thinner than normal as opposed to a slightly above normal weight.
  • I agree with this 100% too. It's all about how ignorant you are about other peoples struggles in life. Compassion is a powerful thing. Also when you are being judged by your looks the best thing you can do is kill them with kindness. It makes you feel good too.
  • As someone who was a skinny *kitten* kid and teen, and a fat adult, and now slim again, I have definitely been on both sides of this. Honestly, I didn't feel too much of the hate from the overweight girls, I definitely participated in a bit of fat-bashing. Not sure if it was just from the fact that I was immature or conceited or what. I can say with certainty that when I was fat I HATED thin girls. It was a mixture of jealousy and projected self hatred. This has evaporated now that I'm healthy and happy with myself. Now I don't feel the need to drag other women down. I still judge certain people, even though I try not to, but I guess that's just because no one is perfect. I personally dislike it when women starve themselves or use unhealthy methods to stay thin or lose weight. In particular there's one girl in my mind that I know who only eats popcorn, yogurt, and lowfat fudgecicles, and recently passed out in church because she doesn't eat normally. I should probably worry and not judge, and DO worry as well, but I can't help but notice that she is just a vain and shallow person who is constantly in mirrors and taking photos of herself. I guess her vanity annoys me more than her "eating disorder". Oh and FYI, her mom (who she lives with) is a nurse and doesn't address the fact that she has thinspo all over her walls and notes that say things like "Don't eat" on her walls. SMDH. TANGENT! SORRY!
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

    I'm not going to read this whole thread, but I think you mislabeled it. There's discrimination from women against women period. Haters don't need a scale to hate.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    kf5b9y.jpg

    I'm sorry, but this is extremely rude. THIS is what the OP is talking about.
    ALL women are WOMEN. Size million to size negative million.
    This was posted on Facebook a month or so ago. I find it pretty funny seeing Betty Boo look like she hate the dog she's giving the bone to.

    But it was a mock of how people always post "Real men like curves".
  • Tzippy7
    Tzippy7 Posts: 344 Member
    So not only are fat women lazy, have no will power, not sexy, and don't deserve to have an ounce of self esteem but now they're b*tches too??? And you actually wonder why they are rude to you???

    I've been thin and I've been fat. Fat is way harder. When I was thin people saw the outside only. No one cared that I had a brain. I graduated top of my class and am a financial whiz. My first job was as a receptionist because they wanted the eye candy where the clients could see me. As a fat person people understand that I have a brain in here too. When I was thin or fat people were as nice to me as I was to them. If I looked askance at a fat person I got rudeness in return. If I told a skinny person they were too thin I got equal scorn. As a thin person I brushed the snide looks off as jealousy. As a fat person those exact same looks hurt because I know it's not jealousy.
    YES fat is harder than thin. I think everyone has had hurtful experiences if they are overweight. That being said, people do seem to be meaner to women who are thin. I have friends Im afraid to eat healthy food in front of because i know there will be some bull**** confrontation.
  • I have friends Im afraid to eat healthy food in front of because i know there will be some bull**** confrontation.

    What's worse is I feel GUILTY sometimes. How messed up is that?
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    I have friends Im afraid to eat healthy food in front of because i know there will be some bull**** confrontation.

    What's worse is I feel GUILTY sometimes. How messed up is that?

    It's very hard for anyone to make me feel guilty about what I eat, not that they don't try. I eat what I'm hungry for when I'm hungry for it. People often feel the need to comment on what I'm eating. If it's healthy: "what are you on some kind of diet? You don't need to lose weight." If it's unhealthy: "How can you eat that? You're going to get fat!" Same with exercise or lack there of, as I go through periods of both. The comments come both from people in better and worse shape than me.

    Honestly, it seems like no one is happy. But I don't eat/exercise to make other people happy.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

    I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

    Agreed..... Sooooo true. I have experienced the same. Both sides of the street. And I think it is worse to have overweight ladies give nasty looks to me, when Im at a goal range.. Im like lady. You don't understand, I was your size. And it took alot of work and dicipline to be where I am now. I've had it from both. Overweight and not overweight. What I find interesting is.... In the work world. Getting a job & being hired being overweight, or at goal range. Sad but true... Why would any employer think your more capable if your thinner.... ? Not sure... Sad but true. Some things never change. We live in a visual world. Too bad the world doesn't see and judge us on inner beauty and our souls first. There would be alot of "Pretty People" in last place there! Haaah. Sad but true... Theres more to us than our looks people. Value us for inside too...
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    Perception. Just about everything that is ever going to exist will receive some illogical negativity.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.

    I don't know, I'd say white, middle class, males have a way easier go of life in America than skinny/fit & feminine women.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I'm still waiting for my life to get easy because I'm slender and fit. :cry:
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
    I think it is all about attitude/perception
    There was a tall/thin attractive woman in town that complained no one liked her...and woman were mean..:cry::sad:
    That was bull****..Im not at all threatened to be friends with an attractive woman or someone thinner or in better shape than me....
    iIt's the attitude of this stuck up....think they are better woman that turn other woman off....if you are down to earth, fun, sincere.....its all good
  • cannonsky
    cannonsky Posts: 850 Member
    Women in general are overly critical of themselves and of each other. I know when I see someone thinner or prettier than me I get jealous, but I also know it because I am VERY insecure with myself... I'm not sure that that's ever going away sadly. I am also guilty of passing judgements on people because of how they look... skinny or fat.... and I truly think its because of my own insecurities. But I do the best I can to not treat anyone differently simply because of how they look, and even if I do pass judgement on someone... even if that judgement is likely wrong or biased... I do not voice that judgement because it is not my place to make someone else feel bad about themself.. they probably do that enough on their own. I think as a whole us women need to stop putting each other down so much and stick up for each other...no matter what shape or size we are.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I have friends Im afraid to eat healthy food in front of because i know there will be some bull**** confrontation.

    What's worse is I feel GUILTY sometimes. How messed up is that?

    I deal with this so often. Its one of the reasons Im moving out of my apartment this weekend.

    because I feel the need to apologise for making my roommate feel like sht because Im laying on the livingroom floor in front of the tv putting out hundreds of crunches and bridgeups and pushups and free weight stuff and he is sitting there with a serving platter containing two boxes of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese with a box of crushed up Cheez-its in it and an entireapple pie washed down by three cans of Pepsi.

    because I feel so guilty when Im out with friends in the middle of the night and they dont want the night to be over so they decide to eat 2000 calories of food @ 3m and they call me out for being the workout freak, that im too good for their food, etc. That i make them feel fat.

    You know what? I just got back from visiting LA last week and everyone took me to In and OUt for the first time in the middle of the night after we'd gone drinking. I wasnt hungry. I sad I was good to just hang out with everyone and keep the conversation going but I didnt need to eat.

    All the girls had to make comments. The one guy that was there, whod been complaining earlier about the 25 pounds he wanted to lose, looked at me, looked at the menu and then rubbed his stomach and said Yeahhhh I dont need it either. His gf was liek i thought you wanted a burger and a giant shake??? He said, yeah but I dont need it. No reason to eat right now, and its not like im working out tomorrow. I can make 1 good decision.

    So girls hate each other. Tale as old as time. They hate each other and love firemen.

    But the guys have our back more than anyone would ever give them credit for, and they dont hate us. It gets balanced out in the long run.
  • Lose_It_Leo
    Lose_It_Leo Posts: 91 Member
    I've been quite slim my entire life, the sort of slim where there really aren't any curves to me at all, so I probably look less like a woman than people who are larger than me (and therefore less attractive in my eyes). I have lost count of the number of times I have been discriminated against. I have had people throw disgusting abuse at me because of how slim I am. It really is shocking how people - women especially - will judge your person by your size. Even when people say, "wow, you're too thin" I get more offended than I probably should. I mean, why is it okay to say that, but then be considered a b***h if you say to someone else, "wow, you're too fat"?! It's the same insult as far as I am concerned, but at opposite ends of the scale! As long as we are happy and healthy, what difference does it make what it says on the scale?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I've been overweight and low BMI weight. I've been treated much worse overweight. If anyone treats me meanly at a normal weight, I'm probably just so relieved that they aren't being mean about thinking I am too heavy that I don't notice.

    I do get sick of women here getting told that they are anorexic or that eating 1200 calories a day is fitting the diagnostic criteria for anorexia. I am pretty sure 18.5 is the bottom line of a healthy BMI but people who are over that are told here that they are underweight. (I understand expressing concern when someone is not eating enough or feels they are fat at a normal or low BMI.)
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.

    I don't know, I'd say white, middle class, males have a way easier go of life in America than skinny/fit & feminine women.

    Umm...this is complete crap, sorry.
    I think it is all about attitude/perception
    There was a tall/thin attractive woman in town that complained no one liked her...and woman were mean..:cry::sad:
    That was bull****..Im not at all threatened to be friends with an attractive woman or someone thinner or in better shape than me....
    iIt's the attitude of this stuck up....think they are better woman that turn other woman off....if you are down to earth, fun, sincere.....its all good

    The problem with this is that few if any women take the time to get to know the woman...because she's confident, proud, and self assured. Which by the way, to other women...90% of the time, translates to stuck up, and thinking they're better. Men do (and not just for sexual reasons...confidence is definitely a trait that attracts male admiration initially, whether in a man or woman really)...but that just makes her situation worse.

    I've had quite a few very attractive female friends in my life. If they were shallow, stuck up, self centered, or rude...we wouldn't be or have been friends. They ALL say the same thing, they get along with men more than women. Guys like them because they're funny, outgoing, confident, friendly, and willing to try new and fun things...the list goes on! Yes, attractiveness helps initially, but in the end it kind of becomes a negative for most men...because they know they aren't getting the girl.

    Other women believe they're sluts, though they don't sleep with these male friends.

    Read that last sentence, and then consider why they might not be friends with their own gender.

    ~Edit - Spelling...stupid phone.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    The problem with this is that few if any women take the time to get to know the woman...because she's confident, proud, and self assured. Which by the way, to other women...90% of the time, translates to stuck up, and thinking they're better. Men do (and not just for sexual reasons...confidence is definitely a trait that attracts male admiration initially, whether in a man or woman really)...but that just makes her situation worse.

    I've had quite a few very attractive female friends in my life. If they were shallow, stuck up, self centered, or rude...we wouldn't be or have been friends. They ALL say the same thing, they get along with men more than women. Guys like them because they're funny, outgoing, confident, friendly, and willing to try new and fun things...the list goes on! Yes, attractiveness helps initially, but in the end it kind of becomes a negative for most men...because they know they aren't getting the girl.

    Other women believe they're sluts, though they don't sleep with these male friends.

    Read that lase sentence, and then consider why they might not be friends with their own gender.
    I think you're definitely on to something here, and it's not just super-attractive women who experience this. I've never been able to get along with most women, and not for lack of trying. I just don't get the usual behaviors that they seem to participate in and I don't share the attitude I commonly notice is expected. Just being happy, enjoying my life despite minor problems, and not buying into gender politics is enough to get nasty responses from many women, while I notice that it makes it easier to get along with many men. For some reason, there's this perception that women are supposed to feel pissy and miserable all the time, and those who don't are somehow attacking those who do.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    When I have up a profile pic showing my bare midsection or a tiny black dress... Im treated like a knowitall ***** who cant keep her opinions to herself and has no idea what its like to be fat.

    When I have a smiling happy face only picture, then Im the inspiring chick who's lost almost a hundred pounds thats so sweet.

    This site is filled with hypocrisy and everyone just wants to keep talking about it.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    When I have up a profile pic showing my bare midsection or a tiny black dress... Im treated like a knowitall ***** who cant keep her opinions to herself and has no idea what its like to be fat.

    When I have a smiling happy face only picture, then Im the inspiring chick who's lost almost a hundred pounds thats so sweet.

    This site is filled with hypocrisy and everyone just wants to keep talking about it.

    Freaking. Love. It.

    /hug
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
    The problem with generalizations is they are generalizations. I have been the target of cruelty in the past (who hasn't been?). I've been 'discriminated' against because of my weight, my gender, my religion, my choice of clothes... and so forth. The people discriminating? Fat people, skinny people, white people, male people, female people... whatever, it doesn't matter..... they are imperfect human beings who make bad choices.

    The war between who is the meanest 'group' is really kinda silly in my opinion. Fat people aren't any meaner than skinny people. There are nasty folks in both groups, but there are also nice folks too.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    The problem with generalizations is they are generalizations. I have been the target of cruelty in the past (who hasn't been?). I've been 'discriminated' against because of my weight, my gender, my religion, my choice of clothes... and so forth. The people discriminating? Fat people, skinny people, white people, male people, female people... whatever, it doesn't matter..... they are imperfect human beings who make bad choices.

    The war between who is the meanest 'group' is really kinda silly in my opinion. Fat people aren't any meaner than skinny people. There are nasty folks in both groups, but there are also nice folks too.

    I don't think this was the entire point. It's not about 'there's more of this type than the other'. It's about what's socially acceptable and what's not. As a straight, white, healthy, middle class male, I can tell you that I'm the ONLY person who can't throw a rock in any direction without being called racist, a bigot, sexist, or any of two dozen other derogatory terms for being some kind of jerk to some 'group'. I am also in the only group that doesn't receive preferential hiring due to fitting into some minority.

    So I can definitely get what these girls are saying. Call a fatty fat, and you're an *kitten*, tell a skinny girl to eat a freaking sandwich, and that's ok.

    It's BS. The likely response to the first part of my last sentence, proves it.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    "Real women have curves"...This is a statement that is often thrown around.

    Sooo can I say...... "Real women don't have cellulite"?

    No..... that would be rude, politically incorrect, hurtful, and discriminatory. So yes indeed there is a major double standard out there when it comes to discriminating against fit thin women.