Discrimination against skinny/fit women
Replies
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"Real women have curves"...This is a statement that is often thrown around.
Sooo can I say...... "Real women don't have cellulite"?
No..... that would be rude, politically incorrect, hurtful, and discriminatory. So yes indeed there is a major double standard out there when it comes to discriminating against fit thin women.
Exactly...try to start a straight, white, healthy, middle class male college fund...see what happens lol.
As a single father, did you know I don't qualify for ANY of the educational aid that single mothers qualify for?
Jen, definitely gets it.0 -
There is a huge double standard. I've gotten the meanest looks and asked what did I eat? Must be just salads right? or I must starve myself. Even though I eat between 1500 and on work out days up to 1800-1900 calories. I do have curves as well thank goodness for having a butt but I also feel there is this huge backlash against women that want to be fit. I don't have boobs so I'm not curvy on top if I had huge boobs I would probably be told I was curvier. Most women who have huge boobs and are between 140-170 are looked at as being healthy and curvy. Yet someone like me who has small boobs and 133 weight on a 5'7 frame to some people can be considered too skinny. That is why I'm building muscle.
Saying "real women have curves" is the stupiest phrase ever. I love my curves but that statement implies that any women who doesn't have a big butt and big boobs is not a real type of woman when in fact there are so many different shapes and sizes out there all should be appreciated.0 -
Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.
I don't know, I'd say white, middle class, males have a way easier go of life in America than skinny/fit & feminine women.
I don't think how you look automatically makes your life easier. I have had many different health struggles, to family issues and so on in my life. I know plenty of people fat and thin that have had it easier than me and I know many that have had it much harder.0 -
I agree with you 100% Marll. Forget what other people say and/or think about you. Only your family and closest friends really matter, everyone else is an unknown...0
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I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
^^ this.
AND when i was heavier, it was men who treated me poorly. Women didn't really. I think the occasionally ex-fat, newly thin women would be a bit negative...and there were the well meaning women who would ask me if I was pregnant and congratulate me (when I WAS NOT pregnant!).
But now i get negative stuff from women AND MEN. Its so weird.
Just chill the F out people, and quit judging women's bodies!0 -
all women are catty and jealous. Im surprised you're just figuring this out. Think of what you said/thought about skinny women when you were fat.
So true.
I'm still a big woman, but I have completely changed my thinking when it comes to a womans body. When I see a thin/fit woman all I can think is "Wow, the work she must have put into that!!" Where it used to be my thought was "Skinny b**ch probably starves herself.
I also get a surge of excitement when I see a large woman jogging or at the gym. I just want to cheer for her, but then I'd seem crazy.
I'll admit though, when I'm at the store or mall and I see these really huge women.....I truly feel nothing but disgust. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard not to when I can see the damage they are doing to their bodies, the same kind of damage I've done to mine.
I agree with this!
whoever said "All women are catty and jealous" deserves a punch in the nose. Sexism sucks. I don't give a flying F who is saying it!0 -
Second row is hotter0 -
"Real women have curves"...This is a statement that is often thrown around.
Sooo can I say...... "Real women don't have cellulite"?
No..... that would be rude, politically incorrect, hurtful, and discriminatory. So yes indeed there is a major double standard out there when it comes to discriminating against fit thin women.
I am so glad it isn't just me. I HATE seeing that saying. For a day there I was seriously starting to think that I must be very unattractive because I am thin. Remember the thread about the boyfriend not liking skinny girls? But then I remembered I am working hard to look like I want to look for ME. No one else. Of coarse I am a real woman!0 -
I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
^^ THIS... I have people ask me all the time what pills i take or why i stopped eating or even if I am taking drugs!! I mean its called hard work, and i am proud of it.. its too bad they don't feel proud of themselves.. they have to focus on other peoples accomplishments and find the dirt... Its very ugly.. I have never rally like women because of this.. Males don't do catty ***** 0 -
I think everyone judges others at some point in their life...whether it is about fat girls, skinny girls, or average girls. We all have different ideals of what we think is the perfect body type. That being said, I think more people should keep their thoughts to themselves. If they have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.
We are all different.
It is unfortunate when anyone feels like they are being excluded or scrutinized because of the way they look though...0 -
Yeah....in high school I was picked on because I was chubby and then people started talking **** when I lost weight....there's no winning with people. I'm just trying to be happy with MYSELF these days.0
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I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
^^ THIS... I have people ask me all the time what pills i take or why i stopped eating or even if I am taking drugs!! I mean its called hard work, and i am proud of it.. its too bad they don't feel proud of themselves.. they have to focus on other peoples accomplishments and find the dirt... Its very ugly.. I have never rally like women because of this.. Males don't do catty *****
again, I seriously wonder what kind of women you are around that this is how you see women. In my life, maybe it's because I'm super selective about the intellect and emotional intelligence of who I share my time with, this is just so not the way I would describe women. Sometimes I think MFP is the slap in the face I need to realize that my experiences are so not the average american experience..... "they have to focus on other people's accomplishments and find the dirt.....I have never really liked women because of this..." <-- that *kitten* just blows my mind.0 -
"Real women have curves"...This is a statement that is often thrown around.
Sooo can I say...... "Real women don't have cellulite"?
No..... that would be rude, politically incorrect, hurtful, and discriminatory. So yes indeed there is a major double standard out there when it comes to discriminating against fit thin women.
EXACTLY.
Friend request sent!0 -
Personally, I find it all boils down to how a person feels about themselves...
A confident woman, big or small, is not going to care who they are coming into contact with and regardless, will most likely treat that person with dignity and respect, because that is how they want to be treated.
A woman, big or small, with low self-esteem will more than likely not act in that same manner. Fit women probably notice a negative vibe from bigger women more often only because appearance is a bigger issue for them and a thinner woman instantly bring out their insecurities and inner anger...
I think it is important to keep this in mind...
Next time a situation like this occurs, maybe try being a little nicer than normal .... it probably has nothing to do with you per say, its misdirected anger0 -
I think you're definitely on to something here, and it's not just super-attractive women who experience this. I've never been able to get along with most women, and not for lack of trying. I just don't get the usual behaviors that they seem to participate in and I don't share the attitude I commonly notice is expected. Just being happy, enjoying my life despite minor problems, and not buying into gender politics is enough to get nasty responses from many women, while I notice that it makes it easier to get along with many men. For some reason, there's this perception that women are supposed to feel pissy and miserable all the time, and those who don't are somehow attacking those who do.The problem with this is that few if any women take the time to get to know the woman...because she's confident, proud, and self assured. Which by the way, to other women...90% of the time, translates to stuck up, and thinking they're better. Men do (and not just for sexual reasons...confidence is definitely a trait that attracts male admiration initially, whether in a man or woman really)...but that just makes her situation worse.
I've had quite a few very attractive female friends in my life. If they were shallow, stuck up, self centered, or rude...we wouldn't be or have been friends. They ALL say the same thing, they get along with men more than women. Guys like them because they're funny, outgoing, confident, friendly, and willing to try new and fun things...the list goes on! Yes, attractiveness helps initially, but in the end it kind of becomes a negative for most men...because they know they aren't getting the girl.
Other women believe they're sluts, though they don't sleep with these male friends.
Read that lase sentence, and then consider why they might not be friends with their own gender.
well said.. both of you.. Men find confidence in women sexy... women find that confident women are slutty, or catty... o well good thing i am not creating this body for anyone but me!!0 -
I have a saying I use pretty often- "Women love to hate on women". It comes from insecurity/jealousy. If anything, smile to yourself that you have something other women want. Not your problem that they're not actively working to make changes, or have let themselves go to that point. Who cares what anyone else has to say in the first place? Hater's gon' hate.
Lord is this true. I grew up with boys and found a love for male friends. I'm not skinny, I will never be skinny, but I'm fit. I run a lot, I do a lot of boot camp, jillian, and plan to start cross fit this summer. I'm always looking for the next challenge. sure I'd like to maybe tone up a bit and drop a few inches, but it's all about seeing how far I can push my body. My guy friends get this. Girls DO NOT. I see the bodyrock.tv videos and think - OMG her abs are amazing, immediately followed by - I want to try that. I appreciate women when they take care of their bodies. Skinny, fit, curvy, etc - as long as you take care of your body, I respect that. Yes I lovingly tell my coworker that I hate her daily as she eats her pop tarts and never gains an ounce. But she lovingly hates me for the fact that she will never have my smaller hips. She has the flattest little tummy with very nice "child bearing" hips. And then we have a drink together later. She knows I push myself to the brinks and she cheers me on with her pop tarts in hand.
With that said - unless I knew what a mile was like in their shoes, how can I judge? I don't know their history. I do often feel sad, not disgust, for the larger, like morbidly obese, people (especially the young very large children - simply heartbreaking. Simply because I really don't think they know what they are doing to their bodies. And I want to help them. I wish I could help them.0 -
When I was younger, I was exrtemeyl skinny and I ate, I ate everything. Pizza all day some days. I was active but I could put away some food and women of all sizes would snear at me and say you look disgusting, you're anorexic. I always turned around and said, hunny you would give both eyes to get to eat like I do everyday!
It was very hurtful but I guess everyone is discriminated against in some way, for something, at some point in their lives and some more than others.0 -
Oh please excuse my generalization.. it easily went form women that display that type of behavior to women in general.. We all have flaws and mistakes and yes, that reaction was loaded with truth from my life from High school till now.. I am 26 and can really say that i am happy that I know who my real friends are, although back in HS "those girls" happened to be my friends, now.... yeah i don't have time for that0
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I have mixed feelings on the matter based on my experience. I have been thin my whole life and am keenly aware of how people percieve me. I am not a super-duper girly girl- more of a nerd/perfectionist than anything. I have a few very good friends but have many female casual friends because I am and have been very involved in my kid's school and I've become a regular at my gym. I make friends with any and all types of women. I cannot say that I have never experienced rudeness- there are a handful of women that I get the impression they don't like me at my kid's school, but there are so many more know me and enjoy my company and that is what I choose to focus on. I realize that if someone is in a place to be that judgemental without knowing me, then I genuinely feel for them, because that is not a good place to be.
On the other side of the coin, I sometimes fear that being fit, thin and pulled together makes people automatically make positive assumptions about my competence, but that is a whole other can of worms. I often feel like people give me more credit than I deserve in terms of my intellegence, my organizational skills, my parenting, my fitness level, how healthy I eat, etc...
Just yesterday I was at my favorite cafe to pick up lunch and I started chatting with the woman in front of me in line and by the time she was at the cash register she insisted on paying for my lunch! A perfect stranger! It made my day....and my point is...before we go on talking about how horrible women are to each other, well, it doesn't have to be true. I believe that you get what you put out there for the most part.0 -
I have never been very big--I have been slightly overweight as a teen, and people (men and women) mostly ignored me. As a thin or underweight person most of my life, and now a woman trying to be thin, healthy&fit, I get more rude comments than anything--even from family and friends. Most people don't understand why "a thin girl needs to workout so much" or "why I need to count my calories to death-what weight loss will make me happy?" "You could just eat normal food with us, ya know, and stop freaking out" The stares/glares are worse.
I am working so hard to have a healthy relationship with food, fitness and my body image--something I have never had. So this makes it that much more difficult.
I know most people aren't like this--but this has been my experience.0 -
I've gotten a lot of negative comments. Hell, just last night was a great example. But screw it! As long as you're doing something for yourself and in a healthy way, who cares?0
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If you're thin and eat something healthy, you eat like a rabbit and need a cheeseburger.
If you eat something considered "fattening," you're warned that it will catch up to you.
Although I actually loved being told that the donut I was eating at work a few years ago was going to catch up to me when I hit 30. Because I was 35 at the time. :laugh:0 -
I've gotten a lot of negative comments. Hell, just last night was a great example. But screw it! As long as you're doing something for yourself and in a healthy way, who cares?
That thread last night was absolutely disgusting and horrific! It's probably best that it was locked by the time I saw it because there were a few internet doctors and double-standard apologists in there that had me RAGING. By the way, you look fab and I'm glad that you're able to say screw what they say!0 -
I've gotten a lot of negative comments. Hell, just last night was a great example. But screw it! As long as you're doing something for yourself and in a healthy way, who cares?
That thread last night was absolutely disgusting and horrific! It's probably best that it was locked by the time I saw it because there were a few internet doctors and double-standard apologists in there that had me RAGING. By the way, you look fab and I'm glad that you're able to say screw what they say!
Thanks, yeah it really got out of hand and shocked the crap out of me. Couldn't believe the way it turned.0 -
I've noticed my skinny friends tell me i look skinny and they guess my weight is aroung 110 ( ahah its 140.5) and my slightly larger friends or people i know arnt so nice about it... so i guess i understand what your saying, anybody seen Hair Spray or Queen Size? I like the movies, but i feel like the over-weight girl just hates the skinny one because she is skinny!? like what the heck? Don't get me wrong there are some very nice larger ladies that i know! :flowerforyou: just my opinion0
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My only thoughts are that women who are overweight big time and do nothing about it do nothing but make snide comments about my weight and how I don't eat anything or how I am skin and bones. It's very rude and annoying!0
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Just a bit off topic, but on the subject of generalizations:
I know very, very few mean women. The women I know are kind, no matter what their size. I am sure I've been luckier than most to NOT know that many catty women who put others down. Maybe when I was in high school I knew some, but since I've become a grown-up (and I'm 50!) I have learned that women can be great friends and supporters.
I know there are many women who stereotype other women, though. I used to have a woman boss and my Mom would say things like "women bosses are horrible." She'd never even had a boss that was a woman. Another time, one of my friends and I were discussing why one of our departments had so much trouble with dissenssion among its ranks. She immediately surmised that it was because there were a bunch of women in that department. It just so happened that there were more men there than in ours and in our department we all got along very, very well.
I think jumping to conclusions about how women (or men) are this way and that is a detriment not just to our gender but to the whole human race. It's the same as when making assumptions about other cultures or races. People are far too different for there to be just one pattern of behavior amongst so many millions.
And that's my two cents.0 -
Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.
I don't know, I'd say white, middle class, males have a way easier go of life in America than skinny/fit & feminine women.
Umm...this is complete crap, sorry.
...I am also in the only group that doesn't receive preferential hiring due to fitting into some minority.
hahaha, says the middle class white guy! Perhaps you don't receive preferential hiring, but it's actually not my imagination that the job I did get, after 7 years of school pays me less than they would you after the same amount of school, statistically it's true.0 -
Skinny/fit & feminine women can pretty much write their own ticket in a number of facets in life. It is much easier to go through life as a skinny or fit woman than as an overweight woman.
I don't know, I'd say white, middle class, males have a way easier go of life in America than skinny/fit & feminine women.
Umm...this is complete crap, sorry.
...I am also in the only group that doesn't receive preferential hiring due to fitting into some minority.
hahaha, says the middle class white guy! Perhaps you don't receive preferential hiring, but it's actually not my imagination that the job I did get, after 7 years of school pays me less than they would you after the same amount of school, statistically it's true.
Aha, now we're branching into feminism. Or, as I like to call it (and all of you that know by heart the 'definition' of feminism can scream it in my ears all you like...it still doesn't mean that's how it's practiced), 'Women for the Betterment of Only Women', or...if you prefer, 'Down With the Man!'. If you believe in equal rights, equal pay, etc...you're a humanist (learned this in a feminist discussion the other night...and it's true).
And, as a woman (read: minority), there's a very good chance you DID receive preferential hiring. So...bad that you MAY be getting less pay...good that you got a job. I'd be considering myself lucky were I you at this point.
Now, as a disclaimer...I DO believe in equal rights. I DO believe in equal pay for equal work. I DO believe that if you are physically, emotionally, and mentally capable of a job, you should get equal consideration. If this means I believe in feminism, by it's 'definition'...great! I don't care what it's called, to me it's just common sense. What it also means though, is that if I, as a white, middle class, straight male, am better qualified than you, a woman, or you, an 'African American' (hate that term too...are you, meaning any 'race'...not just black, American or no? I'm not an 'American American'? I'm AMERICAN!! Just like you! As long as you continue to separate yourself by definition, you unfortunately will remain...separate =(....), a Mexican American, or any other minority who has successfully lobbied for 'equal rights'...I should freaking get the job.
Sadly this isn't the case...is it? Odd how that ties into your discussion.
Now, ladies...sorry about the derailment here, please..lets allow this to go back to topic, I don't want your thread closed. My only reason for bringing it up was an example of how discrimination can exist without the person being descriminated against being a minority, or the person descriminating being 'mean'.0 -
Just a bit off topic, but on the subject of generalizations:
I know very, very few mean women. The women I know are kind, no matter what their size. I am sure I've been luckier than most to NOT know that many catty women who put others down. Maybe when I was in high school I knew some, but since I've become a grown-up (and I'm 50!) I have learned that women can be great friends and supporters.
I know there are many women who stereotype other women, though. I used to have a woman boss and my Mom would say things like "women bosses are horrible." She'd never even had a boss that was a woman. Another time, one of my friends and I were discussing why one of our departments had so much trouble with dissenssion among its ranks. She immediately surmised that it was because there were a bunch of women in that department. It just so happened that there were more men there than in ours and in our department we all got along very, very well.
I think jumping to conclusions about how women (or men) are this way and that is a detriment not just to our gender but to the whole human race. It's the same as when making assumptions about other cultures or races. People are far too different for there to be just one pattern of behavior amongst so many millions.
And that's my two cents.
I think that's it exactly... you get an echo back of what you put out.0
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