Annoyed with families comments....
DatEpicChick
Posts: 358 Member
Okay so the basis is.... I had a terribly complicated pregnancy, and almost lost my life... i was in the hospital for 23 days after having my little girl, and then i went home with husband and her!
...i was around 117-120 when i got pregnant, and WITH water weight gain (while in the hospital) and swelling i topped at 252 pounds, and was 199 pounds when i went in to have the baby.
.... When i started to lose the weight (after being released from the doctor) i weighed myself for the first time and was 163 pounds. And that was last march, and i was doing really well, then summer started, and i got depressed about it, and i gave up until decemeber.
Starting January 23, 2012 i have been COMMITTED. I went from 155 pounds to 133 pounds (today) since then and i've been determined to keep losing.
And so far i feel like I LOOK GREAT. I can wear a tee shirt (with yoga pants but not jeans...muffin)... and i can wear tank tops and not be too self conscious... I mean, i KNOW there is a huge difference, but i want to be happy with MY body... so im looking to lose between 5-10 more pounds, but it depends on how much i feel i need to lose.
I dont want to look like i did when i was in high school, and at this point in my weight loss journey, my focus is on TONING. On keeping motivated and going on walks with my daughter, because i can NOW!!!! =D
So... here is my issue... and i'm sure some of you have this issue too....especially when you tell people the goals for your weight...
"Do you really need to look anorexic?"
"Why do you have to be soo thin, dont you think you will give your daughter a complex?"
"There is nothing wrong with looking like a MOM"
"Shouldnt you focus less on yourself"
"Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die"
.... =[
and these are the same people that on Christmas day were telling me that i should commit myself to losing weight and really get on it.... and now that i have done just that, they tear me down, especially when i say 5-10 more pounds, even though i'm figuring i will lose that much on just toning at this point, which is what i want....
sooo my question to you lovlies on this site.... what are some witty comebacks? or maybe just ways that i could get my family off my back.... i mean, my best friend (who is pregnant right now) is totally rooting me on (but we were both thin, so she knows how i feel), but everyone else is like asking me if 'i'm okay' and if 'im eating'.... its like if i'm at a birthday party and turn down the crap they are serving, i get stares.... like i'm starving myself or something....
so how would you handle this? i mean, how unsupportive can you be! They were rude and unsupportive when i was fat, and now they are rude and unsupportive when i'm so close to my goal... WTF is wrong with people.
...i was around 117-120 when i got pregnant, and WITH water weight gain (while in the hospital) and swelling i topped at 252 pounds, and was 199 pounds when i went in to have the baby.
.... When i started to lose the weight (after being released from the doctor) i weighed myself for the first time and was 163 pounds. And that was last march, and i was doing really well, then summer started, and i got depressed about it, and i gave up until decemeber.
Starting January 23, 2012 i have been COMMITTED. I went from 155 pounds to 133 pounds (today) since then and i've been determined to keep losing.
And so far i feel like I LOOK GREAT. I can wear a tee shirt (with yoga pants but not jeans...muffin)... and i can wear tank tops and not be too self conscious... I mean, i KNOW there is a huge difference, but i want to be happy with MY body... so im looking to lose between 5-10 more pounds, but it depends on how much i feel i need to lose.
I dont want to look like i did when i was in high school, and at this point in my weight loss journey, my focus is on TONING. On keeping motivated and going on walks with my daughter, because i can NOW!!!! =D
So... here is my issue... and i'm sure some of you have this issue too....especially when you tell people the goals for your weight...
"Do you really need to look anorexic?"
"Why do you have to be soo thin, dont you think you will give your daughter a complex?"
"There is nothing wrong with looking like a MOM"
"Shouldnt you focus less on yourself"
"Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die"
.... =[
and these are the same people that on Christmas day were telling me that i should commit myself to losing weight and really get on it.... and now that i have done just that, they tear me down, especially when i say 5-10 more pounds, even though i'm figuring i will lose that much on just toning at this point, which is what i want....
sooo my question to you lovlies on this site.... what are some witty comebacks? or maybe just ways that i could get my family off my back.... i mean, my best friend (who is pregnant right now) is totally rooting me on (but we were both thin, so she knows how i feel), but everyone else is like asking me if 'i'm okay' and if 'im eating'.... its like if i'm at a birthday party and turn down the crap they are serving, i get stares.... like i'm starving myself or something....
so how would you handle this? i mean, how unsupportive can you be! They were rude and unsupportive when i was fat, and now they are rude and unsupportive when i'm so close to my goal... WTF is wrong with people.
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Replies
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If you like being skinny...be skinny.
Having muscles is nice too though. Maybe look into that.0 -
i can't wait until my family and friends start telling me these things! :flowerforyou:0
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I have begun to just learn who and who not to talk about weight with. My mom's a great person I can talk with but besides that and my fiancé, it's basically just people on here.
Many people don't want to hear about how well others are doing - it's totally ridiculous but true. Maybe figure out who can actually be supportive and then don't bring it up in front of those who aren't. It's tough especially because you're super proud of yourself and by explaining your accomplishments it's almost like, "I did this, so why can't you?" - Not negative, but you want to kind of give people tips. People don't want tips though lol.
Keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to people. It's YOUR body, your choice. As long as it's being done healthily, I see no issues.0 -
If you like being skinny...be skinny.
Having muscles is nice too though. Maybe look into that.
for sure! thats what i meant by toning, i dont need to run on the treadmill for an hour and half everyday at this point, but i'm focusing on the 30 DS and the weights at the gym. I dont wanna jiggle! hahaha not just be a size 5!0 -
I would be annoyed too but II would not say anything I would just give them the look and they will not what that means. Don't worry about it because you have to feel comfortable in your own skin0
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Screw them.
And, then, don't let them get under your skin EVER again! :flowerforyou:0 -
Ask them why they are so bothered by it. I have found when people ask/tell me something that is hurtful or innappropriate, when I ask them why they asked/said that, they really feel like crud. I don't think people realize when they say something offensive.
Or, you could tell the person that would kill you if they sat on you "Well, that is a reflection of your weight, not mine!'
That would shut them up!0 -
I think they are just jealous. Your success is highlighting their failures and they don't like that, its human nature. Just ignore and keep focused
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Here is a come back for you
Comment: "Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die"
Response: If you sat on Santa you would break him too...perhaps you should join me for a run today.0 -
I'm certain many of them are uncomfortable because you've done something and they KNOW they need to, but don't have the determination.
I'd not mention wanting to lose more, just smile and politely say that you feel so much better now that you've taken control of your eating and life, you only wish they would too!
And from me to you, keep doing what you're doing; you are an inspiration. Don't let small minded, mean people take that away from you :~)0 -
Do you really need to look anorexic?" Carry around a picture of true anorexic person and ask if you look anything like her.
"Why do you have to be soo thin, dont you think you will give your daughter a complex?" I would rather my daughter see me doing it the right way than trying to be like some airbrushed model in Teen.
"There is nothing wrong with looking like a MOM" "mom" isn't a look.
"Shouldnt you focus less on yourself" If you aren't happy with yourself how are you going to make other people happy.
"Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die" Then maybe you should join me at the gym
Personally I don't have this problem but there's my two cents worth.0 -
hugs
I don`t tell people that I`m still working out since most people react just as you`ve posted here. However I hide it well because I don`t cut things out of my diet if I`m at a party I do have a small piece of cake I just normaly eat half of it or if I plan for it in my diary I will eat it all kwim I refuse to deprive myself life happens enjoy it
as for combacks if anyone did happen to tell me to stop I would say " well why don`t you join me you could stand to lose a few pounds as well" that will either shut them up or they will join you either way you win lol0 -
people are saying I am too skinny,I say I am healthy,they are just not used to me being ,not fat,,0
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I think that you are teaching your daughter how to keep in shape & be heathy.. People who are not happy with themselves like to try to kill the joy in someone who is doing so well.. Don't give up on reaching your goal & I'm sure that your daughter would be proud to have a hot mom... 0
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And end with kiss my *kitten* - if you can find it.0
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That sounds shockingly similar to some of the comments I've heard over the last few months. At my thinnest, I was 120lbs but mostly 130-135lbs until I joined the army and went up to 150lbs. I inevitably got down to 140lbs and stayed there for awhile. After a mix of working with a deploying unit, stress, no life, and taking the BC shot.. I gained 50lbs FAST. I am at the unhealthiest point in my life, and ready to lose weight, and doesn't an aunt that I haven't seen in YEARS say to me... "well now you finally look like part of the family instead of looking anorexic." Mind you, I wasn't THAT thin, and the large majority of my family is obese. My BF was in the room and he couldn't believe she said that to me! Even he said to me that it's about how I feel and not what people think I should look like. I sure don't want to get diabetes, arthritis, and all the other crap they get before turning 20 (no joke!)0
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I'm kind of on the opposite end. A guy I work with makes comments constantly and tends to laugh when I talk about working out and dieting. I feel as though he is mocking me and it infuriates me! We had a luncheon the other day for "Administrative Whatever..." Secretary's Day. He brought an entire container to my desk and asked if I would like a trough to eat from... :explode: I was livid and couldn't come up with a something witty. My sister to ask him next time if he would like a feeding tube to eat from. HAHAHA Good luck on those come backs... I'll work on mine as well!
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Okay, you win. These are great responses.Do you really need to look anorexic?" Carry around a picture of true anorexic person and ask if you look anything like her.
"Why do you have to be soo thin, dont you think you will give your daughter a complex?" I would rather my daughter see me doing it the right way than trying to be like some airbrushed model in Teen.
"There is nothing wrong with looking like a MOM" "mom" isn't a look.
"Shouldnt you focus less on yourself" If you aren't happy with yourself how are you going to make other people happy.
"Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die" Then maybe you should join me at the gym
Personally I don't have this problem but there's my two cents worth.0 -
All of my witty comebacks are probably too snarky and sarcastic to be of any help. Anyone who knows me could tell you that's just how I am.
The way I would probably handle it would be to smile politely and thank them for their concern, but it is not necessary. The way I'd want to handle it would be to smile politely as I shove a huge donut in their mouths and say, "There! That's better!"0 -
That what MFP is for!!!...to find like minded fitness pals with similar goals! We don't always get the support we need on the home front, that's why it's so beneficial to find some fitness buddies to share your thoughts, challenges and goals!
As far as what to tell your family....they don't have to know your specific goals. IF THEY ASK just tell them you are working on being a healthy and fit Mom for your daughter and family. Nuff said!0 -
I would just say I'm focusing on being healthy and toning and not disclose what may actual goal was to someone who I knew would be negative about it. Give them a vague answer enough times and they'll move onto another topic. Maybe answer their questions by just saying you feel great and that you are eating healthy. Good luck. Negative people can be a real emotional drain to deal with.0
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I have begun to just learn who and who not to talk about weight with. My mom's a great person I can talk with but besides that and my fiancé, it's basically just people on here.
Many people don't want to hear about how well others are doing - it's totally ridiculous but true. Maybe figure out who can actually be supportive and then don't bring it up in front of those who aren't. It's tough especially because you're super proud of yourself and by explaining your accomplishments it's almost like, "I did this, so why can't you?" - Not negative, but you want to kind of give people tips. People don't want tips though lol.
Keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to people. It's YOUR body, your choice. As long as it's being done healthily, I see no issues.0 -
This always happens to me as I approach my goal weight, especially with my family. They would constantly ask why i was so thin, if I was sick or depressed. (note that I've never been "thin", I'm 5 feet tall and at my lightest weighed 130...so yeah). It used to really get to me and I would give up and fatten up again.
Now I have one comeback I use:
"Maybe you should be less concerned with my weight and more concerned about yours"
Then I walk away.0 -
I am with the others I would not talk about it either you should just keep doing what you are doing for you. Don't let them take away from what you are doing. As mentioned by someone they are that way because they are jealous as a result they choose not to support you knowing they probably should be doing the same. Keep your head up this is about you not them.
Michelle 0 -
Some people have no filter. Thats they issue not yours. If you like the way you look, who care what they think. Family and friends, co worers who ever, if people cant respect your weight loss and how your feelings may or may not get hurt by the stuff they say then you need to let them know, hey, just dont say crap to me. Period. This journey is about you and the encouragment you need. Period. Best wishes to you.0
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kimdoes,
Here's your comeback for the jerk.
"At least I can fix my weight. Unfortunately, you can't fix being an *kitten*."0 -
If I had to guess, most or all the people making negative comments are bigger than you? Yes sweetie, they are jealous... women are so catty when someone else has something they want, in your case, a better body. You don't need a witty comment because they'll just call you mean... don't let them hurt your feelings. FEEL sorry for them. I know its hard but they're directing their unhappiness and shortcomings onto YOU so they don't have to take responsibility for their own weight. Smile! Realize all the negative remarks means you look awesome and inside they KNOW it too. =]0
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thanks everyone, totally appreciate it! I feel much better now, and i hope that i can keep up with the things you guys are saying... its just so annoying, you know? every family get together i just know someone is gonna say something that they think is sooooo clever... idk, my husband is supportive and i can keep up with my toddler (which alot of people cant say) so i know what i'm doing is right!!!! And i'm doing it the right ways, and for the right reasons!
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I remember years ago when I was lifting a lot of weight and getting heavier and more muscular all the time. One of my female relatives commented that she didn't like men with muscles. To which I replied, "Yeah, well I ain't doing for you, or anybody else, I'm doing it for me!"
Its the same with your weight loss. If you feel good about yourself and you're healthy, then that's all that matters. Be true to yourself and you'll be fine. Congrats on getting motivated and achieving some success. Have a great fit day!0 -
I'm kind of on the opposite end. A guy I work with makes comments constantly and tends to laugh when I talk about working out and dieting. I feel as though he is mocking me and it infuriates me! We had a luncheon the other day for "Administrative Whatever..." Secretary's Day. He brought an entire container to my desk and asked if I would like a trough to eat from... :explode: I was livid and couldn't come up with a something witty. My sister to ask him next time if he would like a feeding tube to eat from. HAHAHA Good luck on those come backs... I'll work on mine as well!
Tell him you can use his trough when he's done - use it for mop water to wash out his mouth!!
He is COMPLETELY out of line!0
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