Annoyed with families comments....

I didn't tell anyone what my goal weight was or how much I wanted to lose. When asked, I would generally reply, "I'm not really sure. I'm focused on healthy eating and exercising right now. I'm not watching the scale." What more could they say? And if they are going to be so rude and push the issue, I would then go into great detail of all the GREAT changes in my life...."Oh my, I love lifting weights. I had no idea it would be this much fun. And did you know I can do 45 minutes on my elliptical on the highest resistance? I've never felt better in my life! I'm so glad I made these healthy choices for ME and my family!"

That generally shuts them up.

As for not eating cake at birthday parties, or any other food that doesn't "fit" into your lifestyle -- tell people you've recently realized you have an allergy to bleached flour or whatever ingredient. Again, that shuts them down.

For example, I hate mushrooms (almost makes me want to retch typing the word). When people ask me if I want one, I just politely tell them I'm allergic. No more questions. However, if I said, "I really don't like them" then I'd have to hear the "But their just so good, maybe you've never had them prepared such and such way." Nope -- it's just easier to be allergic.

Here is a come back for you
Comment: "Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die"

Response: If you sat on Santa you would break him too...perhaps you should join me for a run today.

this haha

First things first, you don't owe anyone any justification for what you choose to eat or not eat if you are eating healthy.
Second, I know how painful it is when the very people who should be happy for you can only put you down for achieving your goals instead of cheering you on.
Thirdly, there is this concept call 'tact' that seems to be completely missing in society, both local and world-wide these days and people think they can just say anything off the top of their heads because they have a right to speak their opinion.

ok. So. It would depend on how important it is to you to remain tactful with these numbskulls. If the answer is 'yes', even if it is in the interest of keeping peace in the family, then I would suggest the following:

"Why do you like looking anorexic?" Anorexia is a serious disease, my goals are based on being healthy.
"Don't you worry you will give your daughter a complex?" If really wanting to be healthy is a 'complex' then I am working very hard to instill this 'complex' in her instead of the complex girls get from photo-shopped models in ads.

"You shouldn't focus so much on yourself." If I don't take care of myself, who will be around to take care of my family?

"There is nothing wrong with looking like a 'mom'." Mom is an honored position in life, not a fashion statement. And I plan to hold my position for a long, long time.

The last one "If I sat on you...." My answer would be "That would be *kitten*-ault, then, wouldn't it? I am getting healthy to be able to survive life, not to survive being sat on by you or anyone else."

The party thing...not eating cake or chips or the junk food. You don't owe them any kind of explanation, but if you wanted to offer one, you could say that you have "learned that you feel so much better when you don't eat those carb-heavy treats and that you don't want to spoil being at the party by making yourself feel poorly". This is nothing short of the bare-bones truth and makes the comment-maker look like the cad he/she is for making it in the first place by pointing out that you are forgoing those things out of respect for yourself AND those around you by keeping in a good mood so the party can be enjoyable for all.

If such gentle pushbacks don't work with your family, then it's time to just button up and walk away from that person. Nothing bothers a person more than an old-fashioned shunning. It may not make them apologize for being so uncuth, but it will make them think twice before doing it again.

I think whats important to remember is that your looking to be fit! you may be thin, but the mindset should be more about being healthy and feeling comfortable in your body and your size... it's happened to me on many occasions where people tell me your too thin, don't be so obsessed with what you eat and what you weigh, or why do you measure everything? in most cases these are the people that now are forced to look at their own eating habits, and often times are overweight. i once worked for a company that constantly had luncheons... i would always get the look when i didn't dive into all the chinese food that was in front of me... i have had my own family members sabatage my diet efforts by bringing home a much loved ice cream or some other treat only for me to tell them.... " you know i can't eat that" and they get all pissed off at me.... you have to do what makes you happy. surround yourself with positive thinking, health conscience people, and when you can't, ,you simply say.." i'm happy with the way i look and the goals i have, and ignore or don't respond to negative comments except maybe to say.... everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and drop it... congratulatins by the way on a healthy daughter and your 30lbs weight loss..... julianne

My family is the way, always making negative comments. Do what makes you feel better, and proud of yourself. Whatever their problem is, you should not let it get you down or stop trying to reach your goal. Keep pushing, and don't give up!!!

I have begun to just learn who and who not to talk about weight with. My mom's a great person I can talk with but besides that and my fiancé, it's basically just people on here.

Many people don't want to hear about how well others are doing - it's totally ridiculous but true. Maybe figure out who can actually be supportive and then don't bring it up in front of those who aren't. It's tough especially because you're super proud of yourself and by explaining your accomplishments it's almost like, "I did this, so why can't you?" - Not negative, but you want to kind of give people tips. People don't want tips though lol.

Keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to people. It's YOUR body, your choice. As long as it's being done healthily, I see no issues.

This is a great response!

I have the issues, too. I have a very supportive boyfriend who struggles with his own weight issues, but outside of him I have no one to talk to about my weight successes and failures, which is why I have started to be more active on these message boards.

My mom has her own weight issues, and my Dad, Brother, and 3 Step Brothers are all over 6 feet tall and just around 180 - 190 lbs... think tall and lean and athletic naturally. I am curvy and have struggled with weight forever. My mom just isn't supportive in the right ways, and my Dad and Brothers don't understand.

Just keep doing you and reach out for the right support when and where you can!

I have begun to just learn who and who not to talk about weight with.

^^^^
This.

If you don't like what they have to say about your weight, then don't discuss it with them. If they like to bring it up then carry a supply of your doctor's business cards with you at all times. When they try to give you medical advice about your weight, offer them a card and invite them to contact your doctor directly. It might sound rude, but I did this to a friend who kept telling me that my doctor was "wrong" about my health. I finally invited her to call my doctor directly, which was my way of closing the subject entirely. She hasn't brought it up since.

If your family won't drop it, then simply don't respond. Change the subject, or change your focus to someone else who isn't discussing it. Walk out of the room. Whatever it takes for them to realize they are not welcome to the subject at all. It's not. their. business.

Okay so the basis is.... I had a terribly complicated pregnancy, and almost lost my life... i was in the hospital for 23 days after having my little girl, and then i went home with husband and her!



I dont want to look like i did when i was in high school, and at this point in my weight loss journey, my focus is on TONING. On keeping motivated and going on walks with my daughter, because i can NOW!!!! =D

So... here is my issue... and i'm sure some of you have this issue too....especially when you tell people the goals for your weight...

"Do you really need to look anorexic?"

"Why do you have to be soo thin, dont you think you will give your daughter a complex?"

"There is nothing wrong with looking like a MOM"

"Shouldnt you focus less on yourself"

"Youre already so skinny, if i sat on you, you'd die"

.... =[

and these are the same people that on Christmas day were telling me that i should commit myself to losing weight and really get on it.... and now that i have done just that, they tear me down, especially when i say 5-10 more pounds, even though i'm figuring i will lose that much on just toning at this point, which is what i want....

sooo my question to you lovlies on this site.... what are some witty comebacks? or maybe just ways that i could get my family off my back.... i mean, my best friend (who is pregnant right now) is totally rooting me on (but we were both thin, so she knows how i feel), but everyone else is like asking me if 'i'm okay' and if 'im eating'.... its like if i'm at a birthday party and turn down the crap they are serving, i get stares.... like i'm starving myself or something....


Firstly, I am soo sorry that you had to go through such a horrible childbirth. I'm glad you and the baby are ok. Secondly, not that it should matter, but these people who are commenting on your weight, are they overweight or in pretty good shape as well? I couldn't imagine anyone who's in shape and cares about their nutrition trying to discourage you like that. My guess, they are not only OVERWEIGHT but perhaps JEALOUS! Keep up the good work!

If they don't stop bringing it up I would just let them know that you are doing it for you an no you are not starving yourself and you are healthy and feeling great but you wouldn't like to further discuss it with them.

i'm just so tired of people in my family talking about how they dont want to be obese or overweight, but they eat like poo, and then justify themselves by saying
"well i dont want to look like cheyanne, but i could lose a few pounds..."

Rude, BI**H! you know you wanna look like me!!!! GRR FACE! hahahahahaha

There are people who actually say that about you?? I would MURDER someone if I heard that! Especially if it were a family member! :explode:

Fortunately my family members would be more likely to hop on the rage train with me than ever make such nasty comments in the first place.

Screw them.

And, then, don't let them get under your skin EVER again! :flowerforyou:

^^^ this^^^ and the fact that maybe they are a bit jealous of your success ) keep up the good work )

I had my daughter young just like my mom and i had a son later. I have always gone for the "hot mom" look. People see me and i say i have a 16 yo and they can't believe it! so if i'm giving my kids a complex by being healthy and striving for a goal i'm all about it and screw all the haters! and OP that's the way you should be! We have to be role models for our kids and i would rather set a good example then a bad one. Not only that but my hubby loves it....When i tell people that i'm running a 5k or doing a zumbathon and they say why? i counter with why not? it's better than sitting on my butt stuffing my face... in the immortal words of the character Mame " I want to LIVE LIVE LIVE!!!!"

thanks everyone, totally appreciate it! I feel much better now, and i hope that i can keep up with the things you guys are saying... its just so annoying, you know? every family get together i just know someone is gonna say something that they think is sooooo clever... idk, my husband is supportive and i can keep up with my toddler (which alot of people cant say) so i know what i'm doing is right!!!! And i'm doing it the right ways, and for the right reasons!

hmmm so say to them... so how many push-ups can you do???

Obviously I didn't hear the tone of the comments but for most of them I would just take them as compliments. The one that included your daughter...not so much but i'd just probably smile and ultimately ignore that one.

it really just sounds like they are saying they think you have hit what should be your goal weight. I get that all the time...i'm a dude and honestly don't really give a crap but if you can take it like "hey, my hard work is showing...they think i look fit" then it won't bug you as much.

and then as long as you are doing it all in a healthy way then by all means keep it up!

I'm kind of on the opposite end. A guy I work with makes comments constantly and tends to laugh when I talk about working out and dieting. I feel as though he is mocking me and it infuriates me! We had a luncheon the other day for "Administrative Whatever..." Secretary's Day. He brought an entire container to my desk and asked if I would like a trough to eat from... :explode: I was livid and couldn't come up with a something witty. My sister to ask him next time if he would like a feeding tube to eat from. HAHAHA Good luck on those come backs... I'll work on mine as well!

Sweetheart, you don't need a witty comeback. You could be walking away with his job. This is harrassment. It is vile, evil, and disgusting. Report him to HR. Over and over, if that's what it takes. And though it might sting your pride a little, ask a coworker who has witnessed it to report him, too. You DO NOT have to tolerate a hostile workplace.

^^This