Sick of trying with no results
AKosky585
Posts: 607 Member
I have been at this for years....close to 3 ... after gaining close to 25 pounds after high school. To make my backstory short, I lost 55 pounds in high school though eating only 650 calories a day for a year...averaging 1 pound a week. I kept it off by eating probably 1200-1400 a day, and then got in a new relationship, started eating more, and put some back on...
...I decided 3 years ago that I wanted to get the weight off again, and here it is 3 years later, and I am several pounds heavier than I was (I had started to lose again doing Dukan Diet a year ago, but it has since all come back on, plus more)
I am sick of eating healthy, working out 5x a week (cardio and strength) and seeing NO results....not even looser clothes. I would be fine at this weight if my clothes were at least fitting better. I'm sick of gaining weight or staying the same at 1500 calories a day. I am sick of putting everything I have into this, and 3 years later, I am still at square one, if not 2 steps back.
I try really hard for 2-3 months, and see NOTHING in results, and then give up for a week or two and give myself just a LITTLE wiggle room, then get back to it thinking that the next time will be different. It never is. I still never lose anything, and I still never lose inches.
I started a new strength training program, and was showing my husband some of the stuff on the workouts. I thought that as long as I was doing my best, even if my form wasn't perfect, that I would still see some results in the form of muscle toning/growth. When I showed him my pushup, he laughed at me. I am trying my best, and he laughs at my form, which really hurt a lot. I am still in tears writing this because I am just SO SICK of trying and getting NOTHING out of it. I hate that my jeans don't fit anymore, and that I wear baggy, loose sweatpants because I feel so disgusting and want to hide. I hate being the fat one in my group of friends. At 5'4, 145 pounds, and 32% BF, I am considered obese...and it kills me on the inside.
I'm sorry that this vent is so long...its just 3 years of trying, and frustration built up and I just don't know what to do anymore.
...I decided 3 years ago that I wanted to get the weight off again, and here it is 3 years later, and I am several pounds heavier than I was (I had started to lose again doing Dukan Diet a year ago, but it has since all come back on, plus more)
I am sick of eating healthy, working out 5x a week (cardio and strength) and seeing NO results....not even looser clothes. I would be fine at this weight if my clothes were at least fitting better. I'm sick of gaining weight or staying the same at 1500 calories a day. I am sick of putting everything I have into this, and 3 years later, I am still at square one, if not 2 steps back.
I try really hard for 2-3 months, and see NOTHING in results, and then give up for a week or two and give myself just a LITTLE wiggle room, then get back to it thinking that the next time will be different. It never is. I still never lose anything, and I still never lose inches.
I started a new strength training program, and was showing my husband some of the stuff on the workouts. I thought that as long as I was doing my best, even if my form wasn't perfect, that I would still see some results in the form of muscle toning/growth. When I showed him my pushup, he laughed at me. I am trying my best, and he laughs at my form, which really hurt a lot. I am still in tears writing this because I am just SO SICK of trying and getting NOTHING out of it. I hate that my jeans don't fit anymore, and that I wear baggy, loose sweatpants because I feel so disgusting and want to hide. I hate being the fat one in my group of friends. At 5'4, 145 pounds, and 32% BF, I am considered obese...and it kills me on the inside.
I'm sorry that this vent is so long...its just 3 years of trying, and frustration built up and I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Replies
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Sorry to say it but when you were only eating 650 calories a day you RUINED your metabolism. You lost weight but it was most likely muscle mass. Now to this day you're still having to deal with what you did to your body. This will explain while you are normal for your height and weight but your body fat percentage is so high. When you starve yourself, your body holds on to every ounce of fat you have and burns your muscle for fuel.
Honestly, I wish I could help but I don't have enough expertise to create a program that would repair your metabolism. Only thing I can say is PLEASE make sure you are eating enough and NETTING 1200 calories a day. You may need to actually "bulk" a little to gain back all of the muscle mass you lost and once you gain some muscle mass, focus on losing the fat.0 -
Don't give up! There is a lot of reasons why this could be happening. 1. Are you really eating healthy? Are you considering all the small things as well? Like condiments or what type of bread you are eating? Are you eating more protein and fresh food versus processed food. 2. Work-out. You're body needs to be doing different things to hit different muscles. If you do the same routines daily you will never see results. Also, if you are trying to lose fat and weight-cardio is best! Definitely do some strength training but cardio will be your best friend. 3. Stress. The more you stress the more you will gain..you need to convince yourself to not weigh yourself everyday and to drink plenty of water and stay away from pop and alcohol. (However I am Italian and drinking wine is not something I can give up). haha I am 5'1" and currently weigh 125 and I started at 136 which was considered overweight to for my height, so I understand where you are coming from...just keep it up and do not stress about it...it will come over..slowly but it will!
And for your husband, that infuriates me...he needs to be supportive and help you! This is why you are on fitnesspal to lose weight with others who are here to motivate you! Make sure you communicate to him how that hurt your feelings and you would like his support. My husband backs me 100% even runs with me because he knows I need his support everyday!
Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself, you will get there!0 -
Hey! Sorry you're feeling so bad. Sometimes getting healthy is a real struggle. Don't be discouraged - you've kept trying for three years, after many people would have given up. So don't give up now! If what you are doing now isn't working, change everything! Change how you eat, change how you work out. Find some fun exercise you love to do. You can lose the weight, but only if you don't give up!0
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You are beautiful. Your true friends will be there 'fat' or 'not fat'. Does your husband know how bad you feel? My partner always laughs at me. But he knows when I am serious about things and wouldn't dare laugh at me then, I would have his guts for garters
I don't know what to say on the exercise side of things as I am not clued up on this however I am sure if you done various types of exercising you may see better results. Shock your body in to something you have never done before.
Like I say I am no expert, I just wanted to give you a virtual hug as no one should feel like this. So big hugs from me to you.
Hope someone has some interesting advice for you
Leanne xx0 -
I think you might have your BMI wrong, i just calculated it and it was in the healthy range. Your body may already "think" its healthy so it might make it harder to lose the last pounds and it could be what you are eating... not all calories are the same and if you are eating high carb that could get in the way of you seeing results. I heard someone it's good to mix up what you are eating instead of the same old thing (make sure its healhy) just like working out you need to trick your body and not do what it's used to. Good luck!0
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I totally hear you. I have been in the same boat. I have been busting my butt for the past 3 years as well too and have seen very minimal results. It sucks big time. I am 5'3" and 155 pounds which is obese to and it kills me too. I hate it. I have tried everything under the sun and the weight just doesnt want to budge. ((BIG HUGS)) I just wanted to let you know that theres someone out there who feels your pain. Keep your chin up girly!! If you ever want to talk feel free to message me.0
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Hang in there girl! I'm with you- I've been on and off for so many years, and have been upping, lowering, strength training, everything and it's still not coming off or losing inches like i'd hope. There has got to be something that's off that you're not seeing- and some people don't have just a one thing fix. The more you work out the more you should eat to keep your body fueled, drink more water, do a week of journaling everything you put in your mouth and then look back and see what you shouldn't be eating... Mine is my weekends, I let go a little bit on the weekends and it ruins anything I did for the week, so it just kinda "washes" each other out.
Stay with it! Get someone to work out with you, or to help journal your food with you and it will come... promise, don't give up! and to your boyfriend that's laughing at you- make him do some pushups and then get at him for not being on form! Or just don't ask his advise if he's going to put you down like that... anything is better than nothing. 0 -
I understand your frustration, and they say the definition of madness is trying the same thing and expecting different results. I would try something different to shock your body a little bit. Try doing the 6 week body make over diet (I have the matirials and can email you (through mfp) the eating plan if you're interested - no need to spend money on anything new) - then just eat what's on that diet plan. Or try low carb for a few weeks. You could even do one of those 48 hour liquid diets to see if you can get rid of any waste that might be blocking the normal flow of things (so to speak). The theory is first 18 inches of your small intestine absorbs the bulk of eaten calories (that's why italian gastric bypass includes removing those 18") - and the more backed up you are the longer food sits in the part that absorbs calories thus you're holding on to more weight. That all might sound like bunk and complete quackery, but maybe doing something drastically differnt can shock your body into starting to lose weight again. Most importantly I would maybe check with your physician just to be sure it isn't anything with your thyroid or something like that. Good Luck!0
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http://www.livestrong.com/article/81992-repair-muscle-glutamine-supplement/ If you did do damage to your muscles like somebody mentioned then L Glutamine might be able to help you repair them. I am taking it now (too soon to tell if my muscles are better though)0
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I went through your food journal for a couple of weeks and you are either not logging everything you eat, or you are still undereating.
I've been in your shoes, seriously under-eating for long periods of time. Here's what I did - I increased my calorie intake up to maintenance, kept lifting weights, cardio, etc... I haven't lost a pound, but my bras are now too big, my pants are loose and I look better at 148 than I looked @ 135 a few years ago.
I would highly recommend making an appt w/ your dr and a dietician.
I read an article about folks who under-eat for long periods of time, it can take several months to repair your system. There are some conflicting opinions about "starvation" or survival mode, but I do think something happens to your body when you eat at severly low levels for long periods of time.
Don't give up, just try another approach.0 -
Plateaus are hard and can take a long time to get past and the monotony of the same thing over and over again can be a killer. That said, it sounds like maybe you just need a new approach. I don't know what you've been doing in exercise, but it is time for a change. Take 3 days off and then drop your current cardio routine and add running 3 times/week instead and do step aerobics on the off days. If you've been running, stop running and try cardio kick-boxing or whatever. Just anything new. If strength training isn't showing results, give it up for a while in favor of some additional cardio. Drop arms and add abs or squats or ...just anything different.
Same with the food. For almost all of us, when we're being vigilent about the diet we narrow the scope of the things we eat to the 20 or so things that keep us full and under our calorie goal. Switch up your foods to something new - instead of grilled chicken, try a turkey burger or salmon or tilapia or 200 calories of decent quality chicken nuggets. Try plain greek yogurt flavored with crystal light....just something different. Plan a whole week where you don't eat any of your "go to" foods.
The next option is to see your Dr and a nutritionist or a trainer to help you get back on track. The most important thing is to get back on track - not so much important for your physical health as much as for your mental health. Being so down about the lack of progress isn't where your head needs to be. Good luck.0 -
According to your diary you are barley reaching 1000 calories on most days. I understand that some of day you aren't logging everything and that's fine cause tis life but consistent logging will help. What type of exercise are you doing?0
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Sorry to say it but when you were only eating 650 calories a day you RUINED your metabolism. You lost weight but it was most likely muscle mass. Now to this day you're still having to deal with what you did to your body. This will explain while you are normal for your height and weight but your body fat percentage is so high. When you starve yourself, your body holds on to every ounce of fat you have and burns your muscle for fuel.
Honestly, I wish I could help but I don't have enough expertise to create a program that would repair your metabolism. Only thing I can say is PLEASE make sure you are eating enough and NETTING 1200 calories a day. You may need to actually "bulk" a little to gain back all of the muscle mass you lost and once you gain some muscle mass, focus on losing the fat.
This may help
http://www.livestrong.com/article/247150-how-to-get-your-body-out-of-starvation-mode/0 -
Im writing this with confusion, you are beautiful and very slim.......at least in the pics you have on your profile page, could this all be in your mind?0
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Honestly looking at your diary just over the last week you aren't eating enough < 1200 gross.....Plus you had at least 1 day not logged at all.0
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Hey, it sounds like you're tired of all of this - but you shouldn't give up. Your BMI is not in the obese range, you're in the healthy range but it just sounds like you need to lose some of that body fat % more than anything. I've lost hardly any Ibs personally, but about 15% BF since I started here in Jan - with a mix of cardio and weights. Have you tried 30DS/Beachbody work outs or anything like that?
How much are you eating? Remember you need to rev up your metabolism now - I did exactly the same thing and my metbolism is shot, but eat more, fuel yourself and your body will start to co-operate (in my experience anyway). Do you know your BMR?
Remember - you will do this, just stick with it 0 -
Well first, let me say that if you have been trying this hard for this long and you haven't seen results and your form is not right, then it is probably time to seek some guidance from a professional trainer and a nutritionist.
Secondly, and I am not trying to invalidate your feelings, but there are lots of people out there that wish they could be where you are. A lot of people are at 40% or 50% body fat and would give anything to be where you are so try and keep things in perspective. Your situation could be a lot worse.0 -
I am 5'4" and 149 pounds....and I KNOW you're not calling ME fat!
I know how hard it can be....everyone else here has posted wonderful information for you. Next time hubby laughs at a pushup - punch him in the junk (just kidding). I don't condone violence.
Give yourself REALISTIC goals...give your body time to heal from the metabolism yo-yo, and know that YOU CAN do this!
Again - 5'4" and 145 - I'd give my left pinky toe for that.
Melissa0 -
Bump for later))))) 0
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You can't give up because your hurt and disappointed. First, be kind to yourself and be very serious about it. If your friends talked to you the way you might talk to yourself you would tell them to hit the road. Second, your partner in life should embrace your goal and help you, not laugh at you. Third, it is a process. A process of tracking, exercising, embracing yourself. You should love yourself enough to feel good about yourself. My other recommendation would be to have a visit with your doctor and have a blood panel done to make sure everything is normal.0
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I will echo a few others and say starving yourself is not the answer. I eat about 1800cals a day, and I am still losing. You need to put some work into repairing your metabolism. Continuing to undereat will only make things worse. Take care of yourself and hang in there.0
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I have been at this for years....close to 3 ... after gaining close to 25 pounds after high school. To make my backstory short, I lost 55 pounds in high school though eating only 650 calories a day for a year...averaging 1 pound a week. I kept it off by eating probably 1200-1400 a day, and then got in a new relationship, started eating more, and put some back on...
...I decided 3 years ago that I wanted to get the weight off again, and here it is 3 years later, and I am several pounds heavier than I was (I had started to lose again doing Dukan Diet a year ago, but it has since all come back on, plus more)
I am sick of eating healthy, working out 5x a week (cardio and strength) and seeing NO results....not even looser clothes. I would be fine at this weight if my clothes were at least fitting better. I'm sick of gaining weight or staying the same at 1500 calories a day. I am sick of putting everything I have into this, and 3 years later, I am still at square one, if not 2 steps back.
I try really hard for 2-3 months, and see NOTHING in results, and then give up for a week or two and give myself just a LITTLE wiggle room, then get back to it thinking that the next time will be different. It never is. I still never lose anything, and I still never lose inches.
I started a new strength training program, and was showing my husband some of the stuff on the workouts. I thought that as long as I was doing my best, even if my form wasn't perfect, that I would still see some results in the form of muscle toning/growth. When I showed him my pushup, he laughed at me. I am trying my best, and he laughs at my form, which really hurt a lot. I am still in tears writing this because I am just SO SICK of trying and getting NOTHING out of it. I hate that my jeans don't fit anymore, and that I wear baggy, loose sweatpants because I feel so disgusting and want to hide. I hate being the fat one in my group of friends. At 5'4, 145 pounds, and 32% BF, I am considered obese...and it kills me on the inside.
I'm sorry that this vent is so long...its just 3 years of trying, and frustration built up and I just don't know what to do anymore.
Have you discussed any of this with your primary care physician? I looked at your pictures and there is no way you are obese. Even if the pictures were taken prior to the weight you are trying to lose now...you still would not qualify for obese; maybe overweight, but not obese.
Your BMI calculations seem off, as well.
As for your husband - laughing at you is the last thing he needs to be doing right now. Especially if you are struggling.
Extreme calorie cutting and an intensive exercise program make me concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder. That's why I asked about the physician.0 -
Don't give up!!! I do think you need to see a specialist though. Someone said you ruined your metabolism, and maybe that is the case, maybe its a thyroid issue and its something you needs meds for. Whatever you do though, don't give up just try something different. You are worth it!!!!!0
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By the way, looked at your photos and you look great! I think maybe you are beating yourself up for no reason. Just my thoughts anyways, I know that we never see ourselves as skinny or perfect or like we WANT but, if you look like the photos you posted I would not call you over weight!!!!!!0
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YOUR 5'4 and 145!! THATS NOT THAT BAD AT ALL
and well, Im right there with u too same issue.. but u know no matter what if u want it badly enough ur just gonna have to keep tryin no matter what.. thats what I do even with the stupid gain back the 4 pounds I lose.. it seems like It takes a month to lose it and just a few days to gain it all back but no matter what just keep goin
Also, just learned bout water weight so yea u never know some of ur weight could just be that which keeps tricking the stupid scale or measure tape..
I started Jan 15th 2012 at 140 and Im 5'2
I have a belly that jiggles like bad and I can grab about 3 inches of it
you know I was sure that by the time I hit 4 months of working out I would have lost the 20 pounds which is all I have to lose on my body to get to 120 a healthy weight for me.. and NOPE def. has NOT been the case at all..
Today is month 4 and so far all I have lost is 4 pounds and just as it appears I have gained that 4 pounds I lost on the scale back in damn water weight! but no matter what just gotta keep on goin..
Yea it gets tough, and DIETS SUCK! but theres no other way at all..
and I too, workout 6days a wk 2x a day.. I just started Insanity 2 wks ago.. and well results or not u know just gonna keep pushin on.. Once you realize at our age (im 26) that its not how it was for us back in high school to be skinny easily.. um yea its HARD to lose weight when were older and being a girl sucks cuz guys always seeeeeem to lose it wayyy faster..
O and I heard the less weight u have to lose like 10-20 pounds takes the LONGEST to come off
BUT U CAN DO IT!! AND SO CAN I! SO LETS GET IT DONE! 0 -
I can totally understand your frustration. You definitely have been very dedicated to trying to accomplish your goal. I am 5 ft 1
and I seemed to be stuck at the same place, which became very frustrating after just 6 months. First may I suggest you go to
your dr to be sure you don't have any thyroid problems. After telling him your history he will likely have some advice for you.
This is what I did. I went to the dr.....yes I had thyroid problems, so I was put on a med for that. Next I cut back on my exercise
to 4 days/wk rather than 6 for 45 min a day. I also shook my diet up a bit changing what I was eating, still healthy, rather than
eating the same meals. I also started eating Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal concentrating on eating more protein than I was.
I can now say I am thrilled to finally be on the downward trend. Slow but sure is what is working for me. Also I am definitely
increasing my water intake, which has been an issue also. Give these ideas a try and I wish you luck on your progress. You
can do this !0 -
To answer some of your questions, I'm doing cardio 3x per week and strength/weights 3x/week ( P90X, Jillian Michales, BodyRock.tv, etc....i switch it up)0
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Have you discussed any of this with your primary care physician? I looked at your pictures and there is no way you are obese. Even if the pictures were taken prior to the weight you are trying to lose now...you still would not qualify for obese; maybe overweight, but not obese.
Your BMI calculations seem off, as well.
As for your husband - laughing at you is the last thing he needs to be doing right now. Especially if you are struggling.
Extreme calorie cutting and an intensive exercise program make me concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder. That's why I asked about the physician.
I have not discussed it with my physician because she blew me off when I expressed my concerns to her. i am trying to find a new doctor who will test me. As for an eating disorder....I NET 1400 calories a day most days and have cut back on exercise lately. I haven't been able to do 650 a day since I was in high school, and I wouldn't want to again either. .. it would make me crazy! lol0 -
Realistic body image???? You are NOT obese by any chart. 32% Body Fat is in the normal range for women your age. As to your friends...they must be stick figures if you are obese by comparison.
Husband laughing at your push up form. Was it a mean laugh or a good natured laugh. My husband and I laugh at each other all the time and we're nuts about each other.0 -
Read this blog, it was an eye opener for me:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/lillebanon/view/my-take-on-eating-more-to-weigh-less-2545540
This discussion has been closed.
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