Falling for your best friend

If you both really felt it and were ready, youd have kissed.

That's true..

Uh... no. Risking an established and important friendship is a big deal and she may have just had all the same thoughts running through her head that you did.

Just talk about it. I [we] made the mistake of ignoring it for way too long, and basically lost my best friend in the world for nearly 10 years. (We just can't really be around one another anymore because it's inappropriate for friends but neither of us wants to date. It's FUBARed.) Don't let that happen! Bring it up!

Would you rather put your heart on the line and find out if the feeling is mutual? Or stay safe and stick w/ the status quo?


It's a risk either way. It's which is more important to you???


Frankly, I'd rather know someone was interested even if it makes the friendship more awkward temporarily. But I would move past it and keep up the friendship.

If she is really ur bff shouldnt she have given u a hsnd job b4 u left?

Geez louise I LOVE the "ignore" feature!

Just be really careful. Something similar happened with my best friend and I found out how he had felt about me and I just didnt feel the same. I tried to not let it ruin our friendship but it has never been the same since, I just cant forget what he said and started analysing everything that had happened in the last year ago... just turned into a big mess really!

You said you went to see her, so it sounds like you dont live near her at the moment. I would seriously consider if the relationship would even work if you both felt the same way.

Sorry to be on a downer about it, just have a long think about it and weigh up which would be more painful, your friendship breaking down potentially if she doesnt feel the same way or watching her possibly marry somebody else in the future.

Sounds like you are both passive. Tell her how you feel. Worst case she doesn't feel the same way you do and you can fall back to plan b... Chloroform.

Do you two fart in front of each other? If so, then I say it's love.

*swoon*

Tell her. Girls always want to know how you feel lol. Good luck.

You really should be honest with her about your feelings, but you probably should have done it before you left. That's not a convo you should have over the phone.

Yeah, don't do it over the phone. If you can wait until you see her again, do it then. Don't hold it in, but don't overwhelm her either.. Throw out a few hints that you feel very connected to her and so on, and see if she returns the feelings before you delve deeper.. Don't hit her with an "I'm so in love with you and I want to be the father of your babies.." kind if thing (extreme example). I've had some guys come on too strong with their feelings before and it ruined our friendships.. Then again, it wasn't 15 years worth of friendship, so you be the judge.. You know her better than us.

You both need to know where you stand or it'll drive you crazy.

Good luck!!

My question is WHY do you think it was a mutual feeling? Was she giggling alot and finding reasons to touch you - ie "oh you're so silly (slap on the arm/leg/butt)"? If that's the case, then I think you're right.

Make an excuse to visit her again or have her visit you and just "find yourself" in a more intimate situation. Like turn down the AC and ask if she wants to share a blanket.

Worked for my hubby

I know this. It is very hard to talk about your feelings, because you don't want to ruin everything. We needed more than 3 months to coming out. We are together for more than 14 years now. Noone knows me better than him, and viceversa, but we had to talk through everything at the begginning, because our fears were so enormous, that we couldn't really feel. I was so scared, but everything was ok. Our feelings become even stronger with time, which is more than I ever imagined, but we had to keep our friendship too, not "just" our love. (Sorry for my English.)

Never understood this stigma about relationships ruining friendships. Imo, if you're not married to your best friend, then you married the wrong person.

THIS!

Talk to her, she might feel the same. Finding someone with the same qualities as someone who is your best friend is hard so it might be worth a shot.

James was my best friend, we've known each other for 11 years and have now been dating for nearly 3. We've both dated other people, he was even married before and we were just friends for so long, I never though of him like that but we both ended up single at the same time and he approached me. At first I was like no but then I started thinking about it and it makes sense. Even though I didn't have an immediate attraction with him there was and is something there. I do get fed up with him sometimes but there is a stronger bond there. As we always had the same tastes as each other which was why we were friends we still enjoy spending time with each other, that hasn't changed at all. I sometimes still think this is weird but there is a stronger connection with him than with others.

Married my bf from high school, our 23rd anniversary in this weekend. You won't know til you try.

So do I wait until 4 months from now when will see each other, or find a way to tell her now??

To answer your question, from someone who was once in the situation, take her out to dinner then spit it out. I hung out with my best friend had dinner but not until all the way to the end, I finally let it out. It was so damn hard to do it but it made me feel better.