Exercise with social anxiety?

I really want to get into a habit of exercising for physical and mental health. But when I plan to go for even a short walk I get freaked out about going outside. There are people out there! They will *see* me!

Did anyone else have trouble overcoming shyness to get on the exercise train? Did you find certain activities worked better or did you just work out inside? Did you wrangle someone into exercising with you?

Thanks!
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Replies

  • littlesis412
    littlesis412 Posts: 314 Member
    I totally get where you're coming from. Sometimes I get too anxious to even visit my friends. I know it won't immediately change but you can take baby steps. I know when I walked home from school, which is pretty long walk, I freaked out or got mad at every car driving by. Then I started carrying my iPod. It helped me to get lost in my little world. And for anyone that saw me, at least I was being active and they had no right to judge. F 'em. But honestly, probably no one cares. I had to tell myself that a lot. I've driven by so many people myself and don't give them a moment's thought, so why would they give it to me? Typically I just work out inside or do my walks. I really want to join a gym but can't climb that SA mountain yet.
  • SteveTries
    SteveTries Posts: 723 Member
    In January I decided I needed to get up and start running, but I was heavy and knew it would be a struggle, that I'd look like a bumbling fool and that I'd feel really self concious if anyone saw me giving up half way.

    So I went after dark.

    Very quickly you improve and gain confidence and start seeing people out there who are how you were at the beginning and realise that your reaction is to think "good on you" not "you look like a fool" and doubtless this is how people would have perceived you.

    Go for it.
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    after a week or so you will gain confidence and be fine.

    I think the majority of people new to excercise deal wtih some social anxiety, especially in a gym settting.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I don't know how bad it is for you - maybe you could start by jogging in place in your home, then work up to going out at night, then go from there?
  • toxicmikki
    toxicmikki Posts: 60 Member
    I suffer from social anxiety disorder as well as agoraphobia (among other's lol) so I totally understand where you are coming from! While some days are better than others, there are the days when I am unable to even go to my mail box without having a panic attack. On those bad days I just have to push myself and work through it to get what needs to be done, done. I find that once my initial panic has subsided everything seems a lot better and I am able to push on and I feel so much better that I did, like I accomplished something great and that I didn't let my anxiety get the better of me. There was a period in my life several years ago when I absolutely would not leave the house AT ALL and I think back on that time and remind myself that I don't ever want to be there again. It's all about baby steps...Do what you feel comfortable with and push yourself a little more each day, or each week. I also found that it helps if you have someone with you while you’re taking these steps, someone close to you that you trust and more importantly someone that understands what you’re going through! You'll see, you'll be at the gym in no time :)
    BTW, If you feel that your situation is severe enough that it's interfering with your daily life you can always seek counseling with or without anti anxiety medication which might really help as well...I choose not to take meds for my anxiety but that's just my personal choice. There is nothing wrong with taking medication to help you. You might also find that just having it and knowing you can take it in case you need it in the event of an extreme situation will also help a great deal. In this case I'm talking about a med like Xanax which works in minutes.
    Hope this helps a little :)
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    I really want to get into a habit of exercising for physical and mental health. But when I plan to go for even a short walk I get freaked out about going outside. There are people out there! They will *see* me!

    Did anyone else have trouble overcoming shyness to get on the exercise train? Did you find certain activities worked better or did you just work out inside? Did you wrangle someone into exercising with you?

    Thanks!

    Yup. Taking up running was hard with man-boobs flopping in the breeze. Also painful, by the way.

    The vast majority of people are either not going to notice you at all, admire you for the effort you are putting in, or have their own issues that they are dealing with. The very few nasty ones are the kind of lowlife scum you're better off not getting to know any better anyway.

    Sweaty is SEXY. I don't care what weight you are.
  • toxicmikki
    toxicmikki Posts: 60 Member
    I really want to get into a habit of exercising for physical and mental health. But when I plan to go for even a short walk I get freaked out about going outside. There are people out there! They will *see* me!

    Did anyone else have trouble overcoming shyness to get on the exercise train? Did you find certain activities worked better or did you just work out inside? Did you wrangle someone into exercising with you?

    Thanks!

    Yup. Taking up running was hard with man-boobs flopping in the breeze. Also painful, by the way.

    The vast majority of people are either not going to notice you at all, admire you for the effort you are putting in, or have their own issues that they are dealing with. The very few nasty ones are the kind of lowlife scum you're better off not getting to know any better anyway.

    Sweaty is SEXY. I don't care what weight you are.

    Very well said!!!
  • namowrepus2002
    namowrepus2002 Posts: 20 Member
    For me having an iPod really helped when walking outside. I stress about people coming from the opposite direction and whether or not I should say hello or not. The iPod helps me since I don't feel like I have to say anything to people...it helps reduce most of the anxiety. I will still not jog outside though...I just bought a treadmill for my house and the sad thing is we own a gym. SA is a pain.

    One thing you could try is finding a place to hike where there are fewer people...it has the added benefit that hiking is more challenging than walking on pavement.
  • Iluvchopsticks
    Iluvchopsticks Posts: 130 Member
    I battle with that and have found I just have to force myself outside and not think about others. I don't experience it all when I run with others so you may want to look for a workout buddy.
  • ScientistStudy
    ScientistStudy Posts: 249 Member
    Same here. I would like to join my university gym and go a couple times a week but it is actually full of already fit sport students :ohwell: I would feel like a wobbly, panting fool if I went but I know it would probably be worth it in the end. Maybe I just need to find a friend to go with rather than being self conscious of being alone.
  • missprincessjenny
    missprincessjenny Posts: 104 Member
    I've been going to the gym since October. I still have to make myself go. Otherwise I'll just stay in and hide because of it. I found it easier to go as soon as the gym opens at 530 when there are not as many people. If I miss a day or two of going it gets harder to go again.
  • jenelizmin
    jenelizmin Posts: 47 Member
    I used to be really shy and awkard in general (still am in new situations). It is overcoming a mind game. For me I had to find someone else to "blame" for me doing something/being somewhere. My dogs and kids became that excuse. Sounds a little goofy, but if I wanted to walk somewhere that I wouldn't be comfortable, I would walk my dogs. That way it wasn't this "out of shape person" lumbering down the street, I became a responsible dog owner taking care of her pets. (and who doesn't smile at dog walkers?) If I want to check out a new park area, I bring my kids. Then I'm being a "responisble mom". Thanks to my kids and dogs I've been able to step out of my comfort zones and experienced a lot of things. Now I'm much more confident and don't have to rely on the support, but it certainly helped. Find your security net (dogs, kids, cute workout outfit, promise to someone you care about) and use it. Eventually you won't need it any more. And like everyone else has said, nobody is going to look at someone who is trying to be healthy and think of anything but admiration. (and maybe a little jealousy)
  • mcwhit
    mcwhit Posts: 44 Member
    First of all, you're really pretty. So you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! Secondly, someone once told me (after I expressed how slow a runner I was): "Hey, you're faster than the guy on the couch."

    The point to that is: at least you're out there doing something!!! That's more than most people can say.

    Keep at it!
  • Spanaval
    Spanaval Posts: 1,200 Member
    The other day, as I was coming back from dropping my daughter off from school, I saw two very overweight women running (not together, BTW). My first thought was 'I can't believe they're motivated enough to run in this crappy weather', followed by 'Man, I wish I could run, even 30 seconds at a time'. I had nothing but admiration for these women for trying to do something to improve their health. I'm willing to bet that anyone that even pays attention, and most people wouldn't, have anything but positive thoughts for you.
  • lkt1970
    lkt1970 Posts: 11 Member
    I workout inside. The only time I go out by myself is to take my daughter to the school bus stop. I would love to be able to walk by myself one day, usually go with my kids. ((my heart is pounding just writing this, and nobody can even see me)
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I used to have a lot of social phobia.
    I would just never talk or anything.

    I got over it by just self inflating my ego, and just using a lot of anger at the world to help get over that bump. Its still hard. good luck!
  • PuggleLover
    PuggleLover Posts: 261 Member
    I go when it's dark - I walk. I also work out at home to videos. That way I can try as hard as I need to and no one sees me.
  • mimieob
    mimieob Posts: 54
    I really want to get into a habit of exercising for physical and mental health. But when I plan to go for even a short walk I get freaked out about going outside. There are people out there! They will *see* me!

    Did anyone else have trouble overcoming shyness to get on the exercise train? Did you find certain activities worked better or did you just work out inside? Did you wrangle someone into exercising with you?

    Thanks!


    I kinda have the same problem with going to the gym...there are healthy and buff people there, I am fat and unhealthy...but I go with my husband, and just try not to think about other people, I am there for me, noone else....
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
    I had REALLY bad social anxiety for a really long time. I just MADE myself do it. Sure, sometimes I felt like crying and running away or just giving up. You get over that eventually. I just had to push through it and eventually I got over it.. for the most part. Sometimes it still bubbles up. I just have to remember that people don't actually care and if they do they don't matter to me anyway, so why care so much? Confidence building helps too. Im sure you could google "confidence building" and see what works for you.
  • Lasityttö
    Lasityttö Posts: 79 Member
    Like some others in this thread, listening to music helps me a lot when I'm in public. It creates an illusion of people not hearing/seeing me, when I can't hear them or notice them when I'm focusing on the music.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    I find that walking/running in the same place helps me feel more of a sense of belonging, even ownership, in that place, and that really helps with anxiety.

    Maybe try it for a week, and see if it gets better?
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    I don't mind being outside mainly because there aren't a whole lot of people. I like running because I can block everyone out with music. I know this isn't recommended but if I'm on a stationary bike I read, just make sure the resistance is up and that you're working at a good hear rate level

    I do zumba every now and then but I know the days that I CAN'T go because the class is so big. I had an anxiety attack during one and haven't done it since.
  • susansmoaks
    susansmoaks Posts: 77 Member
    you can workout at home with a dvd, that's what i do, not due to anxiety but because it's best for me to workout early in the am before daylight and probably not safe to walk around outside that early.
  • skinnyl0l
    skinnyl0l Posts: 63
    I hate meeting people, so I avoid running along the road! Turn up your music and run in the woods ^^
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Been there. A few years ago, I really wanted to join a gym, but I was afraid everyone would point and laugh at me for being fat. I purchased a few workout DVDs online. Doing those helped me gain some of the confidence I needed to step foot in a pilates or yoga class. (My thinking at the time was at least then I'll have *some* idea about what to expect and won't be a complete newbie!) I decided to try a couple of classes at my local community centre. It was close to my house and I did other things in the building, so it seemed less daunting. Eventually I joined the gym there and now go daily and take weekly classes. I still have anxiety about using gyms other places (such as on vacation) and I CAN'T run outside in front of random strangers walking and driving down the street. For me it's all about comfort level and taking things slowly... Good luck! And you can do it! Just do whatever feels right to you and I guarantee that workout out regularly will help with the social anxiety!
  • what helped me get outside as i deal with social anxiety (idk how this started as iv always been social but none the less i have it which it has hindered me working ect...) last year i walked in place in my room but this year im walking outside and truly enjoying it i walk when there are not a lot of people and i found what helps me is having my ipod in one ear(not both) and in my head singing to the songs as it eases my mind from worry of everything around me when someone comes in my path i just smile but i don't talk i don't want to spark conversation as i jumble my words and get panic...im working hard to over come this as it has effected my life greatly :/ BUT baby steps will help u..... i feel so great after a long walk it eases my mind my anxiety and stress level....hope this helps
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    1: Doing inside workouts are awesome, with or without equipment. dvds and workout routines found on the internet are very effective

    2: Going to the gym/park with a friend is great too.

    3: GET OVER IT! We're fat, it's a fact, AND you're doing something to change it, BIG deal what someone else thinks :tongue:
  • cherrytulips
    cherrytulips Posts: 109
    Hello my dear! I used to deal with the same issues. Here are a few things that helped me:

    1. Get some exercise clothes that you LOVE. Take yourself on a little shopping trip and invest in some matching exercise pants/leggings/shorts and a top or two. Get some socks you like, a sports bra, and hair-tyes. This helps you feel confident and motivated to work out. If you feel good and you've got your clothes on, you're already part of the way out the door.

    2. Don't worry about anyone else. I know that is difficult but for your well-being, I believe you can do it! Focus on your journey, your body, your health, and your life. Get over what other people think. Think of how good you'll feel once you have exercised. You will feel amazing! Nobody else is even paying attention to you. This is the truth!

    3. Even if people glance at you at the gym or while you jog, they aren't even actually looking at you. In life, we all look at eachother, but that doesn't mean they are thinking of how you look at all. My sister once said to me, "God, you are so vain! Nobody even cares what you look like or notices what you're doing so stop focusing on it so much. You think everyone is staring at you and you waste so much time thinking about it but nobody even cares. Just do whatever you want." This made me realize how much I had been focusing on being socially anxious instead of trying to improve my life. I didn't realize how self-absorbed and self-conscious I had become when in reality, it was all in my head.

    xo
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    I used to have a lot of social phobia.
    I would just never talk or anything.

    I got over it by just self inflating my ego, and just using a lot of anger at the world to help get over that bump. Its still hard. good luck!

    The ego thing works for me too. This sounds horrible but if I think I'm better than people in some way, I can do well socially, so when I TA kids younger than me for example. BUT if I think they are better I suck socially, like when I used to play rugby and wasn't very good at it (and consequently never made friends in 5 years of playing). I use this when I'm at the gym with 20 year old boys too. I KNOW I'm better at sex than they are....
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Interesting. I can SO relate to this! I do 90% of my workouts indoors, at home. Mainly strength training and cardio on the treadmill. Sometimes when the weather is too nice to resist, I venture out outdoors, and I totally understand the social anxiety aspect. You just have to ignore those thoughts and just do it. Make exercise your priority.

    I think you might find that once you get out there, it's fine and actually quite exhilarating. It's really that mental game beforehand that's the issue.