Ladies - If a doc said this to you...
Replies
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Bingo. Great response.
I can sympathize more with this perspective...but just so we're clear...those women carrying weapons are also not going to the police because a man smiled at them or said hello while they were jogging. Its okay to be a bit more sensitive if you are a sexual assault survivor...that is when you request a nurse with you at all times so you're never a lone with anyone and if something "inappropriate" happens...you be sure to let the dr know you're sensitive to comments like that and would appreciate if they kept it more professional..perhaps change doctors if you're still uncomfortable. But you don't go putting a man's whole career at risk on what could have been an innocent comment/mistake.Sure, there is the possibility that the remark was entirely innocent. We all have moments where we "forget what we are doing" and announce it. But in the middle of such a sensitive exam is absolutely not one of those moment. And maybe my response is colored by personal experience and the desire to get out of bad situations as fast as possible. There are women who carry weapons on them when they run, just as an example. Do they get judged by the community at large for assuming the worst? No.
Even if it was an entirely innocent remark it still would have made me so completely uncomfortable that it's unreal. I'm no saying "Oh I'm so hot even my doctor is hitting on me!" I'm saying that it's better safe than sorry. I can think of dozens of articles I've read over time of doctors assaulting their patients(interestingly enough usually dentists).
I'm going to ask that you try to think about this situation from the mind of a survivor of sexual assault.
ETA: And just so we're clear, even if the doctor was a woman, it still would have made me uncomfortable and I'd have the same responses I did if it were a man.0 -
The doctor I just left seemed to have alot of those momens where he would be in the middle of a sentence and say that he had lost his thoughts.
Of course, I eventually began to dislike him thoughroughly. He might be listening to himself but not to me!
My new doctor has a great sense of humor and I love her. She listens. Had she said that I could make a joke.
So I do believe it depends on how comfortable you are with your doctor. And if you aren't comfortable with your doctor, find another.
They see the girls all day long and not any one is the same.
I bet hers was making a list of items he needed to do her pap.0 -
Psh after two children, I would be flattered and just laugh it off0
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Sure, there is the possibility that the remark was entirely innocent. We all have moments where we "forget what we are doing" and announce it. But in the middle of such a sensitive exam is absolutely not one of those moment. And maybe my response is colored by personal experience and the desire to get out of bad situations as fast as possible. There are women who carry weapons on them when they run, just as an example. Do they get judged by the community at large for assuming the worst? No.Same mentality. It boils down to you being one of those people that rather than speak up and clarify the situation, walks away and makes a stink about it later.
Logically, do you really think that a doc -- someone that has the cloud of lawsuits and liability hanging over their head constantly -- would be stupid enough to risk their hard-earned education, licensing and livelihood to make an offensive comment? Are you familiar with "Occam's razor"? In a a nutshell, it's: "Other things being equal, a simpler explanation is better than a more complex one." Another version is: "When you have two competing theories that make exactly the same predictions, the simpler one is the better."
Which version is the simpler, and more plausible one?
a) The doc was making a lewd remark about the patient's vulva, or
b) It was an innocent remark, having nothing to do with the patient's vulva?
Life's much more pleasant when one doesn't assume the worst of everyone. The only exception? When driving -- assume that everyone is a ****head and drive defensively.
Even if it was an entirely innocent remark it still would have made me so completely uncomfortable that it's unreal. I'm no saying "Oh I'm so hot even my doctor is hitting on me!" I'm saying that it's better safe than sorry. I can think of dozens of articles I've read over time of doctors assaulting their patients(interestingly enough usually dentists).
I'm going to ask that you try to think about this situation from the mind of a survivor of sexual assault.
ETA: And just so we're clear, even if the doctor was a woman, it still would have made me uncomfortable and I'd have the same responses I did if it were a man.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault it's a little different of a view to the situation.
However, (and I"m not trying to downplay anything that may of happened in the past) why go and ruin someone's career by filing a complaint with your insurance company when the comment may of been completely innocent? Just because he lost his train of thought when he looked there doesn't mean it was something sexual. Personally I believe filing a complaint right away with the insurance company or anyone else against the Doctor is very extreme without actually sitting down with him and discussing the issue first.0 -
I'd be flattered!
He sees those things everyday - so hers must have been special.
I agree!0 -
Another oldie but goodie we can all relate to!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist late in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about thirty-five minutes, so I didn’t have an time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, grabbed some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal: some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22324/41669-washcloth#ixzz1uTxBgwiv
Thanks for the laugh of the day!
So awesome....lol!0 -
I can sympathize more with this perspective...but just so we're clear...those women carrying weapons are also not going to the police because a man smiled at them or said hello while they were jogging. Its okay to be a bit more sensitive if you are a sexual assault survivor...that is when you request a nurse with you at all times so you're never a lone with anyone and if something "inappropriate" happens...you be sure to let the dr know you're sensitive to comments like that and would appreciate if they kept it more professional..perhaps change doctors if you're still uncomfortable. But you don't go putting a man's whole career at risk on what could have been an innocent comment/mistake.
Great response! Much more diplomatic than I could have ever formulated in regards to that comment! :flowerforyou:0 -
I would have just told him the same thing happens when I see it too and laughed. But I can joke around with my GYN. I only see him once a year but we crack jokes during the exam. No point in being in stirrups AND miserable.0
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I guess I'm the only one considering the option his words were unrelated to looking between her legs. Because I mean really, how many times do you have something you need to say or something you're thinking and you start to do something else and forget it before it can be said or whatnot? Maybe I'm stupid but I find the poor timing more logical than "omg he saw a nude beaver underneath the sheets, it turned him on a little."
Though me personally if there's nudity involved between a male nurse/doctor/medical professional then I'm the one that's either going to make it awkward or kill the possibility of something like that happening. I had to have an EKG in the emergency room not quite a year ago since it's routine if you come in with chest pain and they had a male tech who had to put the sensors on my chest which included near my breasts and under them. He couldn't have been more than 5 years older than me, right out of school, and wasn't comfortable asking me to raise my shirt to chin level. I didn't care and did it and when the EKG was over and he was popping the sensors off I asked where my Mardi Gras beads were since I had flashed him. Made him feel better about the situation. And if he had been the one to suggest the beads I think I would've laughed more than been offended or creeped out. The guy's paid to stick things on chests no matter what they look like and my rack isn't the Taj Mahal.
The stupid thing here is, we're missing the rest of the story. Okay so he said something after looking under the sheet, then what? Did he correct himself, look embarrassed, did she ask what he meant or was it just all second thought and the rest of the exam went smoothly? Because really if that was a covered compliment I would think more "tinkering" would've been done during the exam to solidify that the man lacked professionalism.
EDIT: And since someone mentioned survivors of sexual assault I'll just add in I was molested and abused for roughly 16 years and I'm androphobic (meaning I'm afraid of men) so even in that mindset I can't see the harm in this situation aside from it just making the rest of the visit weird.0 -
This is one reason why I will only ever have a female gyno. And dentist. And internist.
Since I made that little adjustment, all of my medical experiences have been much more pleasant.0 -
I graduated from high school with my gynocologist. We have some interesting conversations while he's...down there.
I have no shame. :noway:0 -
i always make sure i have a female doc...
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Another oldie but goodie we can all relate to!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist late in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about thirty-five minutes, so I didn’t have an time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, grabbed some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal: some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22324/41669-washcloth#ixzz1uTxBgwiv
Oh MY!!! ROFLMAO!!! I really needed that giggle!! Thx!!! 0 -
Yeah since my name is Sheena can we not make this a term?That would be pretty funny. If a doctor gets distracted by/while looking at your Vasheena, laugh. The poor guy/woman has to look at them all day. Give 'em a break.0 -
I have a woman Dr, so that would be very awkward if she said that to me, ha ha.0
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Another oldie but goodie we can all relate to!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist late in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about thirty-five minutes, so I didn’t have an time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, grabbed some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal: some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22324/41669-washcloth#ixzz1uTxBgwiv
ROTF LMAO, nice one...0 -
All male gynos are creepy. Even the gay ones.0
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I'd be flattered!
He sees those things everyday - so hers must have been special.
Agree! And LOL!!!0 -
That wouldn't bug me so much... maybe he really did just lose his train of thought. Like he picked up the sheet and was like "...what am I doing again? Oh yeah an exam. Duh!"
When I was pregnant with my first I had a yeast infection... went in on my lunch break (I was a carhop at Sonic) and during the exam he looked at my shirt and said something about a cheeseburger. As soon as I went back to work I passed him while he was in the drive through. All I could think was "Seriously? I have cheese in my crotch and that makes you want a cheeseburger?"0 -
I'd ask him for his phone number.0
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I'd be flattered!
He sees those things everyday - so hers must have been special.
LOL0 -
Considering that my OB/GYN has delivered my last 5 of 6 kids...I would not do anything. I love that man!!
BUT, if it was any other doctor, I would find a new doctor.
Saying that, I had my dermatologist check all of my skin since I do tan easily. So, I was in my bra and panties. After inspecting my whole body, he says, "Well, you look great!" and then his face got this shocked look and he said, "ummm...I do not see any areas that we need to be concerned about."
haha...I laughed. I didn't care and I still see him, but I did think it was funny!0 -
I'd bet there is a 99.999% chance that the Dr. probably just remembered something important that he had to chart, do, fix, whatever, and the moment he remembered was totally irrelevant to the 'view'. I think it was MORE professional of him to admit that he lost his train of thought- just in case he was discussing something that the patient might have questions about, she would know to ask him.
However, if something such as this would bother a patient to any extent, I would suggest you find a woman Doc, and maybe quit shaving.
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Another oldie but goodie we can all relate to!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist late in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about thirty-five minutes, so I didn’t have an time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, grabbed some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal: some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22324/41669-washcloth#ixzz1uTxBgwiv
LOL! I literally laughed out loud! That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.0 -
How would it be more awkward than a male doctor saying it?I have a woman Dr, so that would be very awkward if she said that to me, ha ha.0 -
:laugh: I would laugh my *kitten* off and probably say something back like "yea...she has that effect." And leave it at that! I love having a dr that I can laugh at/with....its an awkward position anyways so I think something like that would totally lighten the mood even if it wasn't done on purpose!
YEA, SHE HAS THAT EFFECT!
BAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
But you don't go putting a man's whole career at risk on what could have been an innocent comment/mistake.
Definitely this - sometimes we think the worst when it is really just innocent.0 -
Regardless if you personally feel like you could laugh it off, there is absolutely NO reason to berate another woman for feeling nervous and wanting to go elsewhere. A woman's sexual health is of utmost importance and in a time where we are constantly fighting to get the basic care we need a woman should always feel safe and happy with her doctors. If for any reason she does not feel safe and comfortable and happy with the person in care of her body she has every prerogative to seek medical care elsewhere. No one has a right to tell a woman that her discomfort is not valid, that her fears are petty and unsubstantiated, because every woman out there deserves and should feel at ease with her physician, gynecologist, or sexual wellness doctor .
What you may be comfortable with, others may not be. That does not make them wrong. That does make you right. It doesn't make them right. It doesn't make you wrong. But we cannot tell other women what they should and should not feel safe and comfortable with. That simply isn't a right any of us have and shouldn't even be brought up.
The bottom line of the matter is this, each woman should seek out the medical environment in which she feel's happy and safest in.0 -
I had a really old guy as my doctor when I got pregnant with my first. He said, "Well I can tell you are pregnant because your breasts are very large and full." Ummmm no. I changed doctors.0
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Another oldie but goodie we can all relate to!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist late in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about thirty-five minutes, so I didn’t have an time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, grabbed some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal: some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?” I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”
Via http://www.divinecaroline.com/22324/41669-washcloth#ixzz1uTxBgwiv
OMG!! Seriously thanking you for the laugh!!!!!! LMAO!!0
This discussion has been closed.
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