Friend Failure

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annahiven
annahiven Posts: 185
in Motivation and Support
So... Today, I reached a major milestone in my weight loss.

For over a year I've told myself, when I was below 165, I would reward myself with a tattoo. It has been the weight goal that I've had ever since I was overweight, and I've worked super hard to get there.

Well... I have a close friend that means a lot to me. I have romantic feelings for him, which he does not return, but we're still friends (probably because he finds me attractive and we've had a sexual past). We've both been exercising, and he has known about this goal for a long time and heard me vent through my plateau, etc.

Well this morning when I reached my goal, I took a picture of my scale showing 164.8 and I texted it to him.

He has not said a single word about it all day. :-( I know he has seen it, and I've been chatting with him online a little, but he will not even touch the subject of my success. I KNOW he has seen the text message.

This has hurt me so incredibly much, and I don't understand why anybody would act that way. It has made me so angry, I am thinking that this friendship just needs to end when someone can't even say congrats to you.

Someone please tell me what a jerk he is, and how I should just drop his stupid behind :(
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Replies

  • fiftyfour23
    fiftyfour23 Posts: 11 Member
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    Maybe he didn't get it. Sometimes I don't always get my text/picture messages other people send me. Ask him if he seen it first before cutting him loose. If he tells ya he seen it, yea, he sucks then.
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 185
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    Oh no, he got it.
  • fiftyfour23
    fiftyfour23 Posts: 11 Member
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    Not very nice then. And since I didn't mention it either, good job.
  • oreyna
    oreyna Posts: 88 Member
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    Congrats on reaching your goal!!! Be proud and screw what anyone else thinks... Don't give anyone the authority to rob you of your joy!!!
  • infernomark
    infernomark Posts: 33
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    Awesome work,

    What tattoo are you getting?
  • TriciaZ944
    TriciaZ944 Posts: 317 Member
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    Don't let him ruin your successes. Go out and celebrate! Congrats!!!
  • uniqsol
    uniqsol Posts: 36
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    Weird. I'll def give peeps the benefit of the doubt until they really prove me right about how stupid they are (haha - glass half full, eh).
    What about just calling him out & asking where the heck are your props for reaching your goal??
    As your friend & someone you're known for some time, he has to know/should know how important that is to you. (I don't really like confrontation, but sometimes you just gotta lay it out there in convo.)

    BTW, awesome work!!! :wink: :flowerforyou:
    What tatt are you getting/considering??
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    You know, it might be difficult for him to find what to say. We all know weight is a touchy subject. Just my 2 cents.
    Congrats on your loss, btw!
  • jhealy1191
    jhealy1191 Posts: 56 Member
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    Maybe hes a little jealous or resentfull that youve lost weight. Has he been trying also?

    Id say forget about him. If he truly values your friendship hell come back.
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 185
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    http://www.flickr.com/photos/arminder8/6357329361/

    That is the one I am getting! It is GORGEOUS!
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    Why do women always think men should think the way they do? He may have thought.. cool.. and never thought to comment. i dont comment on every little thing my wife or daughter send me, i look at them, give them their due attention and move on. Why do you need to put this on him? Maybe he just didnt think of it.. men arent as emotional as women.....
  • jasper186
    jasper186 Posts: 134 Member
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    You could be right, but somehow I think if she had told him once she reached her goal she would celebrate by having sex with him again (she mentioned they had a sexual past) the jerk would have taken the time to acknowledge her hard work and success!

    Just saying!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Why do women always think men should think the way they do? He may have thought.. cool.. and never thought to comment. i dont comment on every little thing my wife or daughter send me, i look at them, give them their due attention and move on. Why do you need to put this on him? Maybe he just didnt think of it.. men arent as emotional as women.....


    That is a good point. I live in a household of men (Hubby and two sons) and over the years I've become to think more like a man. And if I want to know something in particular I've learned to ask the question direct. Not beat around the bush not make assumptions and not read between the lines. Men are not in tune with YOUR emotions/thoughts unless you tell them.

    OP -> BTW Congrats on making your goal!!!! :drinker: :drinker:
  • samiam321123
    samiam321123 Posts: 38 Member
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    I'll say it, he's a jerk and you should drop his stupid behind.

    When a friend can't even say congrats when you hit your goal (and they know you've hit your goal), what kind of friend are they?
  • Jmd1970
    Jmd1970 Posts: 13
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    First off, congratulations on your success!! I had a similar "friend" who just couldn't for the life of him, be encouraging to me. He is no longer in my life, though I miss him. But what's real is that you can push him aside (or out of your life altogether) to make room for friends who WILL be there for you and cheer you on. He obviously has some kind of problem with your success. On another note, go get that tattoo! I have 2 and love them. When done well, they are truly works of art! I wish you much success.
  • 1stladygigi
    1stladygigi Posts: 17 Member
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    Great job
  • stevewynjones
    stevewynjones Posts: 1,143 Member
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    http://www.flickr.com/photos/arminder8/6357329361/

    That is the one I am getting! It is GORGEOUS!

    WOW...if you are confident enough to carry this off.......marry me! lol

    Well done on your success
  • djtessatessa
    djtessatessa Posts: 54 Member
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    Why do women always think men should think the way they do? He may have thought.. cool.. and never thought to comment. i dont comment on every little thing my wife or daughter send me, i look at them, give them their due attention and move on. Why do you need to put this on him? Maybe he just didnt think of it.. men arent as emotional as women.....

    Bull****
  • happyfeetrebel1
    happyfeetrebel1 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    That tattoo is so beautiful, I'd do that in a heartbeat if my body looked like that lol.

    Congrats to you :)
  • Kap10
    Kap10 Posts: 229 Member
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    He maybe a jerk or he maybe a dumb male - we can be - drop him a text and ask him what he thinks of your success ... you'll be able to tell by the tone of his reply how supportive he is. Don't blow your relationship with him before you are sure.

    Ps Let us know how you get on

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