Attachment parenting and that Time cover...
Replies
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yuck, it's just a bit gross. especially considering that the whole point of it, is about "the bonding / attachment" both are looking at the camera. it may be a little bit less gross if they were staring lovingly into each others eyes, showing the mum / child bond... the thing that grosses me out, is the fact that he's sucking on the boob, and looking at the camera, it just looks so un-natural.
sorry, but i don't believe that children over 2 need breastmilk or formula, unless they have some kind of medical condition or nutritional problems, they can drink soy milk, almond milk, cows milk, water and eat food.
and in saying that, i back it up with the fact that with my second child, i was on a forumal trial run through the hospital, and they supplied me with one years supply of free formula (i had low supply). surely if it was useful to their study for the children to drink the formula past one year old, they would have supplied it for longer?0 -
I agree that TIME magazine was going for shock value, and the slogan, "Are You Mom Enough?" insinuates that mothers who choose not to breastfeed their children beyond infancy, or even at all, aren't good mothers. As a reader in the article said, "That is not the look of a loving and caring Mother, but the look of a defiant woman, daring you to tell her to cover up and/or wean her child." Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do. However, since you're asking for my opinion, age 4 is too long. If a child is old enough to ask you in plain English to be nursed and to help himself to your breast, it's beyond time to quit. Having said that, I would never suggest that any mother who chooses to do so isn't "Mom Enough."
I have two children and nursed each of them until they were one. Once I was able to give them cow's milk, I didn't see the point in continuing. Plus, I was ready to have my body back to myself and to be able to get some freedom to not have to be available to nurse every day. I love my children to death, but the minute my youngest turned one, I was off to NYC for the weekend! :laugh:
I think that a lot of what stems from attachment parenting, only sets children up for a future of co-dependency. and as someone else already mentioned, I do not want my children to be able to "remember" being nursed. Bonding with your child is important, but you don't need to nurse them until they are in school to accomplish this. I want my kids to feel loved and accepted, but also independent and self-reliant.0 -
I think that cover photo and title are pretty ridiculous. That said, my son who turns 3 in August still nurses at bedtime.
Here is a list of some of the amazing, well-researched benefits of breastfeeding BEYOND infancy:
http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/
And statements from real experts:
* The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005)
* The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)0 -
it may be the same memories as bottle feeding but how often do you see a 3 year old walking around with a bottle??? It seems just as strange to me. My son is about 2 and the day before his 1st birthday was the last day he ever got a bottle.
It's actually a little different issue, as the extended use of a bottle can hinder proper jaw development (while breastfeeding actually helps it along), and the bottle can cause bottle rot of the teeth (where breastmilk rarely causes rot because of its antibacterial properties). If you pump a bottle of breastmilk and put it on the counter for an hour, it's going to have fewer bacteria than it started with (from the bottle itself, due to the antibiotics in the breastmilk), whereas a glass of milk or formula will have MORE bacteria after one hour.
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I think that cover photo and title are pretty ridiculous. That said, my son who turns 3 in August still nurses at bedtime.
Here is a list of some of the amazing, well-researched benefits of breastfeeding BEYOND infancy:
http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/
And statements from real experts:
* The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005)
* The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)
:flowerforyou:
Giving your child continued immunity boosts daily+lowering mom's risk of lady cancers+lowering female breastfed child's risk of breast cancer=good enough for me! Besides, nothing NOTHING stops a toddler's crying from a booboo dead in its tracks like mommy's milk. 0 -
The subject in question doesn't bother me. Its the portrayal of the cover and the title. Like so many others have said, there is nothing really loving going on. It just looks weird and almost wrong and unnatural. And "mom enough?" We're all moms, whether natural birth, c-section or adoption and no matter what parenting decisions we choose to make. That's exactly what they are, choices. The fact that this woman decided to keep bf-ing her son is fine, however this attention seeking cover isn't. I decided to let my daughter wean herself. For her it ended up being around 19 months. I'm not sure what I would do if she wanted to nurse longer, but I guess that will be left up to my next child. What upset me more than the cover actually was the comments left by people on yahoo's website. Probably 90% of them were extremely rude and judgmental! I guess its easier to be an *kitten* from behind a keyboard. Pretty sure none of those people wouldn't have the guts to say that to that mom's face. Just my thoughts.0
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My kids both weaned between 2 and 2.5 (more like26-27 months-ish). I can't nail down an exact age because it was so gradual. There was nothing gross about it. My kids are now 11 and 8.5 and very well-adjusted boys that make me proud every day. I have no regrets here and am very happy that they got what they did. There are many MANY great reasons to nurse a baby past 1 and if I had more children, I would have for them too. Nursing was an extension of my parenting for sure.
The cover? Meh, that sort of thing is for shock value, plain and simple. How people choose to parent is none of my business.0 -
I/we practiced attachment parenting and self~weaning. My children are all in their teens now and have fond memories of nursing when they were younger. They said they all plan to practice the very same parenting with their mates. But, to each his own....whatever decision people have with their own children is THEIR BUSINESS!!
Let's just celebrate life and its joys!:drinker:0 -
I agree that TIME magazine was going for shock value, and the slogan, "Are You Mom Enough?" insinuates that mothers who choose not to breastfeed their children beyond infancy, or even at all, aren't good mothers. As a reader in the article said, "That is not the look of a loving and caring Mother, but the look of a defiant woman, daring you to tell her to cover up and/or wean her child." Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do. However, since you're asking for my opinion, age 4 is too long. If a child is old enough to ask you in plain English to be nursed and to help himself to your breast, it's beyond time to quit. Having said that, I would never suggest that any mother who chooses to do so isn't "Mom Enough."
I have two children and nursed each of them until they were one. Once I was able to give them cow's milk, I didn't see the point in continuing. Plus, I was ready to have my body back to myself and to be able to get some freedom to not have to be available to nurse every day. I love my children to death, but the minute my youngest turned one, I was off to NYC for the weekend! :laugh:
I think that a lot of what stems from attachment parenting, only sets children up for a future of co-dependency. and as someone else already mentioned, I do not want my children to be able to "remember" being nursed. Bonding with your child is important, but you don't need to nurse them until they are in school to accomplish this. I want my kids to feel loved and accepted, but also independent and self-reliant.
Well said!
I am happy that I am way beyond the childbearing years so I don't have to deal with this crap, and I feel sorry for the younger female generation that are being pressured to adapt or deal with whatever is the social norm of the day.
I think that the picture is borderline pornographic because that is not the look or the demeanor of a "loving" mother nursing her baby, nor is the look in the child's face (not a baby anymore). It is the look of a defiant woman trying to prove whatever point she is thinking about. There is no bliss in that picture, only contempt and defiance.
I showed the picture to my husband, and his expression (WTF!!!), said it all. He also thought that the husband/father must be a lunatic allowing his wife and son to be portrayed in the cover of Times Magazine. Must be the money thing…
So, those of us that choose/or could not breastfeed, or adoptive mothers for that matter, we are not “Mom enough?” If you didn’t sleep with your baby until he was ready to go to school, you were not Mom enough? If you didn’t carry your child with you 24/7 and didn’t allow him/her to cry, you were not Mom enough? Give me a break!0 -
the cover is a bit much and the bf'ing for that long is OLD NEWS0
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I breastfed until my son was almost 7 months. I would have gone longer but he would NOT take a bottle while I was at work. I would have probably stopped at a year, maybe 18 months. I know someone that breastfed until her son was 3, no biggie for me. Don't think I would have done that, not from the breast. Maybe pumped and given in a cup, if the doctor thought the health benefits were much better than milk.0
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Interesting WSJ article from a week or so ago:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304356604577340214170952638.html
review of a book called THE CONFLICT.
Basically it's about women at war with other women over "DOING IT RIGHT"; home births, attachment parenting, family bed, breastfeeding until ? (I'd personally throw homeschooling in there too, but the book and article do not).
Some of these people are really militant in what they consider to be a "good mother" (basically only people exactly like them, ha).
I know a woman like this. She's a doula and she is CONSTANTLY posting on FB and sending emails to everyone about "Nurse-ins" and "perfect" births (home births only). She recently posted a video of someone birthing at home and said "this is how a birth is meant to be! this woman has achieved something special and now she can be happy". WTF? She had all these other women commenting on how they felt so sad and depressed bc they had birthed at a hospital, or they had had c-sections. Really? I had to post the following question: "did you get a baby? then you did it right!!"
Anyway, this woman has 2 bio kids; 1 birthed at home, and the other, an emergency ride to the hospital and birthed there (the horror!), and she has a kid that she adopted at the age of 7 mos and she relactated to nurse her. She still nurses the 5 year old and posts pics on FB of all the kids wearing T-shirts that say "breastfeeding is not a crime".
I personally had 3 c-sections, and nursed my 3 bio kids for 14 mos, 11 mos, and 12 mos. I did NOT relactate to nurse my adopted child (she had cleft palate and I adopted her at 17 mos, but anyway I wouldn't have relactated regardless), so you can how sad she is for me.
She was really into attachment parenting too -- with her first, but I guess she couldn't carry around more than the one, so once the others came she stopped talking about it constantly (ha). I remember going for coffee with this woman when my 2nd child and her 1st child were infants. I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. She woke up her sleeping baby and transferred him from the car carrier into a sling and walked in with a screaming child. She attempted to breastfeed him in the coffee shop (he did not want to feed, he wanted to sleep), and consequently she couldn't drink her coffee or eat her cake. She actually asked me, with a full-on straight face, while her baby was screaming, "don't you feel guilty with your baby there alone in his carrier seat?" I looked at my sweet sleeping baby, finished the last of my latte and cake and said, "nope".
:laugh:0 -
She was really into attachment parenting too -- with her first, but I guess she couldn't carry around more than the one, so once the others came she stopped talking about it constantly (ha). I remember going for coffee with this woman when my 2nd child and her 1st child were infants. I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. She woke up her sleeping baby and transferred him from the car carrier into a sling and walked in with a screaming child. She attempted to breastfeed him in the coffee shop (he did not want to feed, he wanted to sleep), and consequently she couldn't drink her coffee or eat her cake. She actually asked me, with a full-on straight face, while her baby was screaming, "don't you feel guilty with your baby there alone in his carrier seat?" I looked at my sweet sleeping baby, finished the last of my latte and cake and said, "nope".
:laugh:
Did you really just call your baby "IT"??? O.o
I do attachment parenting, but even I am not stupid enough to wake a sleeping baby. lol0 -
I don't give a crap what people do as far as when they wean. It's a personal decision. But I have to say, that pic was completely tasteless and was taken to shock and stir up controversy. I just hope it doesn't strike fear in future mothers who may have considered breastfeeding.0
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She was really into attachment parenting too -- with her first, but I guess she couldn't carry around more than the one, so once the others came she stopped talking about it constantly (ha). I remember going for coffee with this woman when my 2nd child and her 1st child were infants. I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. She woke up her sleeping baby and transferred him from the car carrier into a sling and walked in with a screaming child. She attempted to breastfeed him in the coffee shop (he did not want to feed, he wanted to sleep), and consequently she couldn't drink her coffee or eat her cake. She actually asked me, with a full-on straight face, while her baby was screaming, "don't you feel guilty with your baby there alone in his carrier seat?" I looked at my sweet sleeping baby, finished the last of my latte and cake and said, "nope".
:laugh:
Did you really just call your baby "IT"??? O.o
I do attachment parenting, but even I am not stupid enough to wake a sleeping baby. lol
No, I called the car carrier "it" :noway:0 -
We weaned our first when he was a freshman in college.
Well at that point you pretty much have to. I mean, it's just a scheduling nightmare.
^^^This cracked me up! 0 -
She was really into attachment parenting too -- with her first, but I guess she couldn't carry around more than the one, so once the others came she stopped talking about it constantly (ha). I remember going for coffee with this woman when my 2nd child and her 1st child were infants. I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. She woke up her sleeping baby and transferred him from the car carrier into a sling and walked in with a screaming child. She attempted to breastfeed him in the coffee shop (he did not want to feed, he wanted to sleep), and consequently she couldn't drink her coffee or eat her cake. She actually asked me, with a full-on straight face, while her baby was screaming, "don't you feel guilty with your baby there alone in his carrier seat?" I looked at my sweet sleeping baby, finished the last of my latte and cake and said, "nope".
:laugh:
Did you really just call your baby "IT"??? O.o
I do attachment parenting, but even I am not stupid enough to wake a sleeping baby. lol
No, I called the car carrier "it" :noway:
Sorry. Misinterpretation. Your sentence, grammatically, reads as if you called your baby "it." I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. <~~ remove the "fluff" between the commas, and you have "I carried my baby in and set it down next to me."
Sometimes my love of grammar makes me read things too literally, I suppose.0 -
Sorry. Misinterpretation. Your sentence, grammatically, reads as if you called your baby "it." I carried my baby in, sleeping, in the car carrier, and set it down next to me. <~~ remove the "fluff" between the commas, and you have "I carried my baby in and set it down next to me."
Sometimes my love of grammar makes me read things too literally, I suppose.
I guess, while it wouldn't be grammatically incorrect if I had called my baby "it", you found it otherwise incorrect. Thank you for correcting whichever error you prefer. Good job out-momming me, but I still have more kids, so that must count for something.
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My kids both weaned between 2 and 2.5 (more like26-27 months-ish). I can't nail down an exact age because it was so gradual. There was nothing gross about it. My kids are now 11 and 8.5 and very well-adjusted boys that make me proud every day. I have no regrets here and am very happy that they got what they did. There are many MANY great reasons to nurse a baby past 1 and if I had more children, I would have for them too. Nursing was an extension of my parenting for sure.
The cover? Meh, that sort of thing is for shock value, plain and simple. How people choose to parent is none of my business.
Very, VERY well said I breastfed my son for a year and a half and plan on nursing my daughter until shes a year, I dont care how long people nursefor. I think its completely natural and a beautiful thing As for that cover, well I actually like it haha 0 -
Yes. This. As a mom that is currently breastfeeding a 4 year old and a 2 year old (tandem), I rarely stand like that and have my breast that way. I love child led weaning. I love that my body continues to give my children antibodies (no; they do NOT outgrow this need at a year, as a child's immune system is not fully developed until somewhere around age 6) and nutrition. I don't force them to nurse (much to the surprise of people who say that moms who BF past a year only do it for themselves). BF is hard. BF for four years is harder! It isn't for myself! It's for my babies. However, we never have any tacky displays of it. We are discreet.
Though I'll tell anyone about it.
Just curious - do your kids eat food too or just breastmilk?0
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