HELP ME PLEASE!

^^ Good advice.

To help not trying to do too much all at once, try setting your goal to lose .5 lbs/week to start. Once you've done 2 weeks of that, change it to 1 lb/week and slowly cut back calories to where you're at the 2lbs/week goal. When people go from eating whatever and whenever to trying to restrict too badly, it puts them in a "diet" mentality. When you make small enough changes to not even notice them, that's when you'll make the longest-term changes.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I was put on my first "diet" when I was 6 weeks old. I turn 50 this year. I've pretty much always been heavy. Except for short periods of time when I was in my teens. I've tried other sites for calorie counting, but would stay on it only for a couple of weeks with small losses, and then get bored or have a "cheat day" and then not go back. I agree with the other poster...baby steps. Make small changes. One of the biggest thing for me was "snacking" all the time. I felt hungry...so I ate. Chips, candy, you name it it went in my mouth. Try keeping somethings around your house for quick grabs that's not to bad for you. LIke 90 calorie Fiber One bars. One thing a "friend" on here has taught me is that you need to eat a little something every 2-3hrs. Buy some nutella, I know it's packed with sugar, but I find that when I'm really hungry or just craving choc. I will take one tablespoon of it, with an apple and eat that. It satisfies both the hunger and the choc. craving I'm having. I've been on here since April 3rd, and have lost 12lbs. It's not a fast loss, but I'm learning how to eat, and how to eat healthy for life...If you think of this as just a "Diet", then you will ultimately quit. If you think of it as a lifestyle change, then you WILL succeed. Go out and take a walk when you get the "munchies"...and if your still hungry after that eat some protein, and some fruit/veggies. Small changes. If you can only walk to the corner and back...GREAT!!! You'll feel so much better. If you want you can add me as a friend, and we can do this together.

You need to try and think about the positive's:
you successfully lost 10 lbs before (very well done to you)
you're still here and asking for help and support

Take one day at a time, baby steps. Be sure to share any not so good days along with your successful days. It's the tougher days we need the most support.

You're not a failure, dont give up. You can do this!

So here's the thing sweet cheeks:happy: ...the entire world is on a diet...your diet is what you consume, whether it is 3 cheeseburgers, fries and soda or a grilled chicken breast, sweet potatoe and green salad...what you eat is your DIET:drinker: ..... If you have been eating crap for 30 years, that was your diet, if you change it now to healthier options. THAT is your diet.....understand? I decided I was going to EDUCATE MYSELF to eat in a healthier manner. MFP has the tools to do that, to teach you PORTION SIZE and to make sure you eat ENOUGH! It actually takes the guilt out of eating because if you are within your limits, you have no doubts about what you are eating. There will come a time you will want to understand sodium andd things like that better but I do believe that will come as your EDUCATION advances. Once you start seeing progress and know you have been eating great food, you will not miss the CRAP food...in fact your body may turn against it and let you know it is not something it wants to consume. I think a different mindset will help you climb this mountain...and see what awaits for you at the top! Just go for it! You might be SURPRISED:flowerforyou: how soon you feel better!

If you look at it as a start of a diet, end of a diet kind of thing you will never be able to sustain any weight loss. YOU are trying to replace habits that hurt you with habits that help you. Take a moment to read this article.


HOW LONG?
How long does it take to form a new habit?
Published on December 1, 2009 by Ian Newby-Clark in Creatures of Habit

Every once in a while someone emails me and asks something like, "I sit on the couch too much. I'm trying to be more active. How many days will it take before my new exercise routine becomes a habit? My friends tell me it will take about thirty
days, but I think it will only take 25. What do you think?"

After I get such a question, I walk across my oak-paneled office, open a hidden door, and follow the steps down to my secret lair. Among my five billion volumes, I find the book with questioner's name inscribed upon it. I consult a few tables and do some calculations. I have to factor in the person's age at the time she queried me, the particular habit she wants to acquire, and a few (thousand) other variables. Aha! 23.638 days! I rush back up to my computer . . .

On the other hand, it might have been easier to dash into my time machine to find out how long it took my questioner. I could then report back to her . . .

Of course, that kind of messing with laws of physics would create a temporal paradox that only a good Hollywood writer could ignore.

The foregoing was not meant to mock anyone in particular, except perhaps psychologists. I understand. You want to replace a bad habit with a new good habit and you want to know how long it will take. I'm sorry that I don't have a hard and fast answer for you.

Maybe one day we psychologists will be able to give everyone his or her magic number, but right now there's just no way. That's not to say that I have no information for you. You won't leave empty-handed. It's just that I have a fairly typical academic-psychologist-I'm-being-careful kind of answer: "It depends."

Some thoughts on the "depends":

1. What kind of habit are you trying to establish? Some will be easier to establish than will others. For example, if you've been eating the same fat-laden sugar-rich lunch for the past 10 years and you've decided to switch to salad, it's going to take some time. There will be setbacks. But, if you're "tweaking" some behavior of yours, the time to habit change will likely be much shorter. That's one of the reasons why I recommend that people take baby-steps when they are changing a behavior. You'll see some progress fairly quickly. You can solidify that progress and move on from there.

2. What are the benefits to continuing with your bad habit? We have bad habits because they give us short-term payoffs. It's that feeling of a juicy burger melting in our mouths, or gleefully sinking into the couch instead of schlepping to the gym. To be sure, you're not the biggest fan of yourself for having a bad habit, but you wouldn't have it if there weren't some benefit. I don't know too many people who regularly hit themselves over the head with a big stick. Although, some behaviors do come kind of close to that.

The more immediate and tasty the payoff, the harder it will be to break the bad habit and replace it with a good one.

3. How often/automatically do you perform the bad behavior? The more often/automatically you do it, the harder it will be to change it. After all, you have to be aware that you're doing something bad in order to replace it with something good.

That last point reminds me of the one of the steps for effective habit change: Repeat, repeat, repeat! It's like learning to drive a car. If you drive, you must have remarked to yourself how easy it is to motor along now compared to when you first learned. You don't have to coach yourself through every move (check my blind-spot, signal . . . ) You just do it. That's because of one thing and one thing only: Lots and lots of practice. Repeat, repeat, repeat.


You'll have to excuse me; I left the secret door open again. How many times do I need to remind myself . . .

I know how you feel! I have struggled with weight loss most of my life and have tried so many different diets. I have also struggled with depression and even feeling like I am not worthy. The greatest thing you can do is share and get it out in the open and you have already done that. I think you are on the right path towards reaching your goal. Please know that you are not alone and that you don't have to do this by yourself.

I truly agree with what everyone else said...it's about one step at a time. You can do this! You are worth it and this change is worth it! Please be encouraged! I am rooting for you!

If you are needing any help feel free to friend me

I am new to MFP as well I have already lost 6.6 lbs. Its been a struggle. I have am like you I was ok with my weight for a while then it kinda slapped me in the face I guess I was in denial for a while. I clean house when I get the erge a craving then when I am done and I am still hungery I pick up a yogurt, fruit, or some nuts. I also tried eating ice when my sweet tooth kicks in. Please add me as a friend an we can do this journey together. we will achieve our goals one step one day at a time

One thing a "friend" on here has taught me is that you need to eat a little something every 2-3hrs. Buy some nutella, I know it's packed with sugar, but I find that when I'm really hungry or just craving choc. I will take one tablespoon of it, with an apple and eat that. It satisfies both the hunger and the choc. craving I'm having.
...
Small changes.
...

Small changes in eating + time + small changes adding more movement/exercise = success!

Every body is different. The Nutella idea works for this person, so that is great! But me? I cannot have Nutella in my house because it is a trigger food for me. I can eat a large jar in 30 seconds with a spoon!!! Really.

But....if something works for you it works for you! Can't argue with success.

We all need to take care of our physical and mental health. Don't drive yourself crazy expecting fast weight loss. Aim for .5 or 1 lb loss a week. Add walking and any movement into your day. Dance to the radio when no one is looking, walk up, down, then up the stairs again. Get off one bus stop before your destination. I've been taught by other MFP people that little things do make a difference over time.

Good luck. We all want you to succeed!

Eat lots of fresh veg, some fresh fruit and sensible portions of lean meat and fish, no junk food, cut out stuff that has sugar in and everything fried.

You know the score, it's not rocket science, you CAN do it.

Do you want to be healthy? Do you want to be there for your children when they need you? Or do you want to be a burden?

As yourself what sort of life you you want and how badly you want it. Then either do it or don't do it, your call.

You have received some excellent advice here. The awesome about forums is you get perspective from all sides. Folks just starting out in life with limited experience to the more mature seasoned veterans who have learned so much along the way. Men and Women of different sizes, shapes, and different cultures. People from across the globe. How awesome!

You asked for help, and you will get loads, because everyone gets it. It IS possible, the only one that stands in your way is YOU. You said you fell off the wagon after doing well. If you could learn from my experience I whole heartedly agree that there is no such thing as giving up. You just make choices, and bad choices bring consequences.

Commit to doing something you can control. No matter what, track your food. Every bite, make sure you are being accurate with your portions. Don't guess because you need to practice eating the proper portion sizes. If you know you are going to eat things that you would normally consider trigger foods be sure to enter it then eat it. Enter then eat it, if at all possible other wise it becomes a food frenzy. Sometimes, just seeing the calories adding up, and up will take you from mindless, self-sabotage to being aware it isn't really worth it. Make your goal to track every day for a month, or a year, or for life if that is the only thing you can do.

As the previous poster said it is the fact you will be learning along the way and making decisions based on what you learn. You can choose to eat anything you want, make a calorie goal and try to stay in it but if you don't if you keep tracking you won't have failed.

Good luck and stick around it will be a bumpy ride but it is so worth it.

"Don't expect perfection. It is the enemy of the good."

Truer words were never spoken!

The changes you make now are for the rest of your life. Start small. Make the easiest changes first. For me, that was dropping my daily diet soda habit. Then I dropped fast food. It's a few pieces here and there until you get it.

Want motivation and accountability? Add me. You can do this. You came back here for help - we're here for you!

Nutella I'd actually about as good for you as a snickers bar. They actually just got sued for falsely advertising that it is healthy and are being forced to give refunds. However, I get that we all have that sweet tooth lol. What I do is put a little JIF reduced fat peanut butter on some apple slices. And take it from me it DOES NOT TASTE LIKE REDUCED FAT! I absolutely hat fat and no fat foods usually. I was shocked that it tastes just like regular peanut butter! Hope this helps a little!

I gave up the fight and had wt loss surgery. That was the right decision for me, I'm not saying run out and get it. For me, I had the reaction you're having. I would do good for a short period of time, make some progress, fall off the wagon and would regain whatever I had lost except that I would then go on to gain even more wt than where I was to begin with. I eventually got tired of the fight and gave up and that was not good either!!! I felt bad and my body hurt.. it literally hurt. And, my wt effected me in every aspect of my life - health, physically, appearance, socially and I'm sure financially, too.

So -- here's my advice to you. You're going to fight the good fight and you're occasionally going to fall down, go off plan, fall off the wagon. Accept that as part of your journey. Recognize your triggers. And occasionally let yourself go and fall when it feels like it's going to be the lesser fall than if you wait and fall off a cliff (hope you know what I mean). But!!! When you do fall, IMMEDIATELY shift gears!!! Go from a state of chasing wt loss and instead make it your burning goal in life to maintain your wt!!! This will help you for when you do get to a wt you like and decide you want to stay there and it can help you from getting discouraged during your wt loss journey. And, when you succeed in maintaining your wt, feel proud as EVERYTHING!!! Big people can lose wt.... we can definitely lose wt! For me, it was the maintenance that always got me. I could never keep off what I'd lost. So... be prepared to slip but also be prepared to shift gears and embrace a lifestyle of maintenance. Catch your breath... take an emotional rest... and when you're ready push forward to further wt loss. Just remember, the trick to being more slender is not the wt loss, it's the maintenance of what you've lost. You'll get there. Don't give up, just adapt.

Everything in moderation. It's actually chocolate and hazelnuts in a spread. Love it too much to buy it.

"Don't expect perfection. It is the enemy of the good."

Very well said and very true.