I can't do this again

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  • jdploki70
    jdploki70 Posts: 343
    One of the biggest things that helped me along the way was to change my eating habits in tiny increments instead of everything all at once. Most people don't do well with huge changes to their lives, especially when so little is under their control. By altering small factors of my diet and exercise plans I was able to really change my habits. For instance, instead of eating a huge candy bar when I had a chocolate craving, I had a hershey's kiss or similar small chocolate candy, and then only one. I swapped the normal white rice I used with instant brown rice (which has many more nutrients in it and is just as filling). I eat a salad every night with light dressing and tomatoes (about 70 calories total) to fill me up a bit before dinner, so I don't go back for seconds of much heavier foods. One of the biggest things I changed was just to avoid the kitchen when I wasn't cooking. Other changes, like drinking coke zero and whiskey instead of beer, followed. Because of my changes I sometimes have a hard time eating enough to reach the minimum instead of the other way around.

    The point is, it's all about baby steps. If you don't have the willpower to change everything about your life overnight, and very few of us do, you can change very small things which add up to making a big difference over time.
  • JConstine
    JConstine Posts: 69
    You had the strength to start in the first place which is the hardest thing to do IMO.

    I lost 10 pounds last year after August and gained 11 after Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day. I wanted to give up but then I remembered all the reasons I started. I took it really slow in March and gradually eliminated my problem foods when, by late April, I could go without them because I found healthier alternatives. Going at my own pace and keeping my own goals in mind led to a 9 pounds loss in that time frame and I'm just getting started.

    You can do this! It will be really hard and you may have to mess up a few more times to know what is best for you. It's frustrating but it's when we make mistakes that we really learn how to move forward. I don't think I would have pushed my fitness level so hard if I didn't make those big mistakes. It will work out as long as you don't give up.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    It was really helpful for me to keep a journal. I have mine on my computer. I wrote in it for months, trying to get a grip on the emotional side of overeating. It may be helpful for you to try. You'll be amazed at the stuff you learn about yourself.
  • JB5349
    JB5349 Posts: 135 Member
    Today is day one!

    Don't let the scale dictate your success or failure. I only weigh myself once every three weeks. It sounds really dumb but when I weigh myself more often, I let get discouraged by what the scale says. Then go on a four or five day bender and eat anything I can find, feel guilty then eat more because well I have ruined my progress might as well have more whatever it is that I am craving at that time. The most important thing to realize that this is a way of life sometimes you are going to want to have the cake, ice-cream or chinese food, other days you will want to stay in check because it is better for you. I feel better when I eat healthier, i have more energy.

    I have been trying to weigh my success in things that I can do, such as being able to hike 2 hours and it is a rigorous hike, recover quicker after I do some cardio or be satisfied with less. I also make drinking the water a challenge everyday as well to try to drink even an ounce more. Measurements are key as well.... sometimes the scale is not a fair representation of what I have done and will continue to achieve. These are that things that I measure not just the numbers on the scale.


    You can do this, I have faith in you. So you screwed up yesterday or the day before.... start today and look forward to tomorrow. I like logging the exercise calories - that is my drug of choice now it is not how many pounds or ounces I am down. Now that I have taken that stress off myself I am making gains.

    And if you have a day that you are over there is always tomorrow - as long as that is the day that you keep in check. I know in my heart that you can do this, it is not an easy battle for any of us. Take strength from others on here like me who struggle every day to try to eat well and exercise. I still hate running, but I have found something that I love to do(hiking), I crave it and constantly challenge myself to do more. It will come off don't get caught in the numbers on the scale, that is discouraging.

    Hang in there, I now know that if I cheat I can but I have to make up the calories somewhere! You can do this!!!!!
  • SwtMelissa86
    SwtMelissa86 Posts: 165
    you can do it... just take it one day at a time...
  • JensQi
    JensQi Posts: 169 Member
    No such word is cant...;-) I know you can/ "we can":flowerforyou:
  • iwillberipped
    iwillberipped Posts: 27 Member
    If you say you can't you won't! Having an off day (week) is ok, it happens - you just have to hop back on and make the next day better than the last.
  • Lefty634
    Lefty634 Posts: 56
    Fail at what? This is life not a contest or game. If you had not lost you would be even heavier just smile at what an awesome job you have done and keep moving forward.
  • tinkermommc
    tinkermommc Posts: 558 Member
    What they said! I had a bad weekend. It's a new week :smile:
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
    I have failed more times than I care to count. But I'm doing it now, and you can do it too.

    For me, the key was to only do what I can handle from now until the end of my life. That means no exercising 5, 6, 7 days a week. I settled for every-other-day, and even that I am not strict with. I also started at only doing 10 minutes of exercise per session, because I was so fat that I couldn't even handle more than that. But I ramped it up to my target now of around an hour per session, and I did so rather quickly - it's amazing how the body improves so fast when you're trying to. And finally, I didn't even track or pay attention to my food at first. I kept eating exactly how I had been. But exercise gave me time to peer inside my mind, and I realized that all the work I was doing would be undone if I didn't at least try to eat better. So I came to it naturally, and from there, I gradually started making better choices, moved away from much sodium-laden, high-calorie processed foods and more towards cooking my own meals and using a lot of fresh ingredients. Then I started tracking here, after already losing around 40lbs, and it's only accelerated my progress. I also don't really dig the idea of spike days or cheat days or whatever you want to call them. If I want to eat chips or chocolate or something, I fit it into my calories (which I have calculated out myself, as MFP is far too aggressive for my liking. Yes, I will lose slower, but I won't be as hungry and I won't fail due to deprivation).

    My point is, it's not an instant and permanent change. It's a decision that you have to make every day. I don't know what else to say; just don't give up, and don't look at any slips as failures. As long as you keep inching forward no matter how many times you are shoved back, you'll eventually reach your goal.

    ^^^^ Very Awesome!!
  • TIDDYBEAR
    TIDDYBEAR Posts: 63 Member
    You can eat out! You just have to watch WHAT you eat (grilled chicken NOT fried) etc. And Chinese isn't so bad. Go to a place that has a Hibachi grill. Get 4oz of chicken, onions, broccoli, and maybe zucchini and it is under 500 calories. Keep up the good attituce!
  • CynGoddess
    CynGoddess Posts: 188 Member
    The only true defeat is givng up! don't beat yourself out of something good with feeling bad. start new and learn from the things that brought you here. you can do it.
  • graceleigh614
    graceleigh614 Posts: 19
    I have lost weight and regained it more times that I can count........... I swear I lost the same 20 pounds at least 20 times! That being said, you can do this!!! Don't beat yourself up, today is a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year! A NEW YOU! Only you can do this, no one else can do it for you..... I have found tracking my food, planning my food, exercise etc. is the key to my success. The days I have no structure are the days I do the worse. (WEEKENDS!!!!) I pray everyday that this is the last time I have to take this journey and once I reach my goal weight I will keep it off forever!!! Good luck and feel free to friend me....
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
    This thread is MFP at its best.

    Leah, thank you for bringing out the best in all of us.
  • 100over
    100over Posts: 53 Member
    frosty73.....I know there's definitely other factors at play but I guess when I acknowledge them I feel like I'm using excuses and sound pitiful. There is so much going on and food is a solace right now........well I guess like it has been for most of us. I need to find something else to do. Unfortunately the only other thing that makes me feel that numb is shopping and we don't have the money for me to pick up that addiction - lol. I'm an alcoholic - sober 11 years......a smoker - quit for 8 years and started again a year ago. The only thing I've never been addicted to is drugs. Why?? I don't know really.....they scare me - lol.
  • 100over
    100over Posts: 53 Member
    ediesmommy........no that's not my goal weight. That's how much I want to lose. My goal weight is 125-135. I'm only 5'4"
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    .........fail, that is. I have gained back 5 of this 6 pounds I lost and am basically back at the start. The last two weeks have just been so awful. I can't blame life because life is always going to be hard so I have to find a way to stay on track. This is why I told myself I couldn't even have one cheat day until I lost at least twenty pounds because I'm not strong enough yet in my mind to get myself back on track.
    I feel so discouraged after eating chinese food, nachos, trifle cake, dinners out etc etc that I don't even know where to begin today. I have that immense feeling of regret that squashes ANY self confidence you have and makes me just want to cry. I can't fail again this time :cry:

    Leah

    Leah, the moment you get back on that wagon is the moment you are once again going for it. Therefore, you are now going for it and WTG! xxx
  • 100over
    100over Posts: 53 Member
    Siannah.......it breaks my heart to think of not being here for my son. How selfish is that of us to NOT do this for our children and spouses. Thank you for hammering something out so clear. It's always in the back of my mind, but it cannot be an option to fail..........for them!
  • barbaradilisio
    barbaradilisio Posts: 39
    Forget about what happened in the past. Focus on today. Just because you slipped up doesn't mean you failed. You can do it!
  • SmallTownSweetie03
    SmallTownSweetie03 Posts: 63 Member
    I know exactly how you feel! I have tried and failed so many times and I swore this would be the last time! So I decided to look at it as a life style change, not a diet! And I find it easier to tell myself "You SHOULDN'T have that" instead of "You CAN'T have that". And I make sure to not deprive myself of anything that I want, I just have those things in moderation because I personally can't live the rest of my life never having chocolate or ice cream or pizza or fast food! That's not realistic for me, but I also know that I can't live my life being 60 pounds overweight and horribly unhealthy! So I made a promise to myself when I started this, I'm not going to get down on myself and I'm not going to regret anything, every day is a new day and I'm doing this so that I can love myself again, so as long as I accomplish that each day, then it's been a good day! Feel free to friend me, I am super supportive and will be your biggest fan! lol :happy:
  • chris2365
    chris2365 Posts: 76 Member
    Thomas Edison's quote is perfect: “I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work”

    So figure out what you need. Do you need to be able to have chocolate every day? Do you need to be able to eat at night? Do you need to have popcorn at the movie theater?

    Figure out what your must-haves are and trust me, there's a plan out there that will work for you. Or hell, do what I've done and figure out your own plan. One that doesn't require willpower (because willpower is a joke people), one where you set your environment up for success, one where every bite you eat is yummy, one where you don't feel physical hunger.

    But let's be honest, we've got a whole magazine rack of issues, otherwise we wouldn't be where we are today. So learning to deal with our emotions - boredom, anger, sadness, whatever with something other than food is a whole lot more effective than keeping a food diary.

    Feel free to friend me - we can do it!
  • beebee0925
    beebee0925 Posts: 441 Member
    bump

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