Crazy Problem at Work..advice plz
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It's sexual harassement and nothing to make light off. Being a sloppy drunk does not excuse his behavior either. If I was the woman it happened to..I would have left him in his bar with his pants around his ankles and could have cared less if he got home or not. I would have quit then and there and the next morning be hitting the pavement looking for a new job. I know economy is bad but that does not mean you should stay in a threatening position of employment. Make light of it...go ahead. The drunken boss got away with it this time...next time it could be uglier. I know you painted the small town picture but what kind of backwards small town is it that you are not willing to take care of your own. This is 2012 NOT 1960. Protect the drunken boss and pretend it didn't happen??
I would advise your friend to press charges OR at least find another job. As a man and a gentlemen you might want to mention your boss's bad behavior to him since he won't remember himself (which is hardly an excuse)
You're super angry.
I don't feel like making fun of me, or how I'm dealing with the situation to be very helpful.
Go hit the treadmill.
Wow...Just wow...0 -
If she's not willing to call the cops, the only real thing I can think of is to quit. Yes she needs the money, but it's not worth risking this happening again. If that's not an option, then someone needs to bring it to the boss's attention, especially if you all assume he doesn't remember. Just make sure she is never left alone with him again. Awful situation, but again, the cops need to be involved, or she needs to quit.
This all makes sense too.
I'd hate to be there this afternoon, I have a feeling they'll both be there at some point. It's a large buidling, a restaurant and bar, front desk and hotel, so it's not like they'll be ALONE-alone today. Just enough to make it uncomfortable.0 -
That's a terrible situation. Maybe ask her how she's feeling, and see what she wants to do. She may have had some time to think about it a bit. Just support her I guess.0
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first of all, you're right it could have been much worse.
The "right" thing to do is sue the MFer. However, she would ikely have to quit her job in that sceanario. I worked many many years in hospitality and the disgusting truth is that sexual harrasment is rampant. Once I was in the fridge, check my stock levels, turned my head and my co worker had pulled his pants down and his (massive) d*ck was right in my face. So yeah. Been there.
Anyhoo, I found the best way to deal with these situations is head on. If I was her, I'd have a wee sit-down with the boss and one other person (who preferably doesn' work at the bar) I'd say- this is what you did, and if you know what's good for you, it won't happen again. If you ever touch me or expose yourself to me, I'll sue you and tell your wife.
She might be scared about getting fired, but if she doens't make it clear his advances are not welcome, he'll do it again. And if he fires her, she a rock solid case for harassment.
Also, I currently work at the Ministry of Labour (Ontario provincial government). There is a requirement in teh Occupational Health and Safety Act for every workplace to have a posted poilcy outlining how employees can deal with ahrassment issues. She can call the Ministry at 1-877-202-0008 and they will send an inspector..... it might not change much, but it might scare the boss.....
^^^^^ Awesome sound advice! Well said!0 -
first of all, you're right it could have been much worse.
The "right" thing to do is sue the MFer. However, she would ikely have to quit her job in that sceanario. I worked many many years in hospitality and the disgusting truth is that sexual harrasment is rampant. Once I was in the fridge, check my stock levels, turned my head and my co worker had pulled his pants down and his (massive) d*ck was right in my face. So yeah. Been there.
Anyhoo, I found the best way to deal with these situations is head on. If I was her, I'd have a wee sit-down with the boss and one other person (who preferably doesn' work at the bar) I'd say- this is what you did, and if you know what's good for you, it won't happen again. If you ever touch me or expose yourself to me, I'll sue you and tell your wife.
She might be scared about getting fired, but if she doens't make it clear his advances are not welcome, he'll do it again. And if he fires her, she a rock solid case for harassment.
Also, I currently work at the Ministry of Labour (Ontario provincial government). There is a requirement in teh Occupational Health and Safety Act for every workplace to have a posted poilcy outlining how employees can deal with ahrassment issues. She can call the Ministry at 1-877-202-0008 and they will send an inspector..... it might not change much, but it might scare the boss.....
I think this makes the most sense too. I'm not sure what she's willing to do. Maybe she's talked to someone else, I'm not sure.
I don't think there's an absolute right, or wrong way to go about this. For now, I feel like less is more, in case we/she does the wrong thing too soon.
It's just so bizarre.0 -
Its like my dad always used to say....
Never livd in a town of 7k or work with extremely fat or drunk ppl
Well he never said that, I think it was something like u better pay attention in school or u will end up working in a bar in your 30's0 -
By reading your news feed updates... I'd have to say you might just have the craziest bunch of co-workers I've ever heard about
Nah, this is just Thunder Bay..... LMAO0 -
Its like my dad always used to say....
Never livd in a town of 7k or work with extremely fat or drunk ppl
Well he never said that, I think it was something like u better pay attention in school or u will end up working in a bar in your 30's
I work in the bar part-time, it's an extra couple hundred bucks every week.
It's her main job, so she's in a sticky situation about leaving and probably not finding something that pays half as much.
We also have a pharmacist, and one of the nurses that work part-time for us.
Some nights they leave with $400-500 bucks.0 -
Your friend should write a statement as soon as possible outlining her full recollection of the events and exactly what was said and done by your boss. It may be uncomfortable for her but it will be invaluable in the event she decides to pursue the matter further.
She should address the matter with your boss and tell him his behaviour is unacceptable, preferably in the presence of an independent party who doesn't work there but she trusts.
What she then decides to do is up to her but the balance of power is with her.0 -
I had a similair situation, my boss of 2 years was moving out of state and we had a going away party for him a the local hang out. He got wasted and asked me to go outside with him while he smoked. He proceed to to the same thing as this guy. I was in shock. He never touched me but told me he wanted to have sex in the parking lot etc. I told him to knock it off that he was drunk. The next day he calls me and is so sorry for what he did (he couldnt remember half of it) I told him i was totally surprised by his actions and he was lucky I didnt clock him in the jaw. It bothered me but at least he apoligized.0
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Its like my dad always used to say....
Never livd in a town of 7k or work with extremely fat or drunk ppl
Well he never said that, I think it was something like u better pay attention in school or u will end up working in a bar in your 30's
I work in the bar part-time, it's an extra couple hundred bucks every week.
It's her main job, so she's in a sticky situation about leaving and probably not finding something that pays half as much.
We also have a pharmacist, and one of the nurses that work part-time for us.
Some nights they leave with $400-500 bucks.
The whole 7k must drink there each nite....that might b a problem0 -
Your friend should write a statement as soon as possible outlining her full recollection of the events and exactly what was said and done by your boss. It may be uncomfortable for her but it will be invaluable in the event she decides to pursue the matter further.
She should address the matter with your boss and tell him his behaviour is unacceptable, preferably in the presence of an independent party who doesn't work there but she trusts.
What she then decides to do is up to her but the balance of power is with her.
Thankyou, I will actually get her to do this. (writing it down)
It's a great first start.
And I agree about the course of action being up to her.0 -
The whole 7k must drink there each nite....that might b a problem
It's true. Then when we hit capacity, they riot outside.
Head of security right here.0 -
It has to be said though its: "The Stickiest Situation Since Sticky the Stick Insect Got Stuck on Sticky Bun"0
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Well... if I were her (and I know I'm going to get flamed) I would let this go this time. But there is no way I would be alone with him ever again... and if something did happen again... I would probably quit.
I know. So passive-agressive... not like me at all.0 -
Make sure she's not left alone in the bar with her boss ever again... and look for a new job in the mean time.0
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Well... if I were her (and I know I'm going to get flamed) I would let this go this time. But there is no way I would be alone with him ever again... and if something did happen again... I would probably quit.
I know. So passive-agressive... not like me at all.
I have let it go more times than I could count.....for fear of 'rocking the boat' or being made fun of, or job secuirty. Eventually I learned that the only way to stop it was to be a hard *kitten*, and confront it head-on. Every time I didn't, it escalated.0 -
Well... if I were her (and I know I'm going to get flamed) I would let this go this time. But there is no way I would be alone with him ever again... and if something did happen again... I would probably quit.
I know. So passive-agressive... not like me at all.
I totally agree with you, he's a 30 something guy who got drunk and tried it on. OK it was stupid but hey, he's only human. I would probably say something to him and tell him he better never try it again but I'd give him a chance.0 -
I realize I should do something. But saying 'DO THIS DO THAT, YOURE LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT!!!!' etc, really isn't helping me. You're getting more worked up than me.
I work in 2.5hrs, and she'll be there. It's only been 7hrs since it happened, so I'm still trying to figure it all out. It's just so WEIRD
I'm not doing NOTHING. I just don't know the right course of action, which is why I've been appreciating a lot of input. Plenty of people here have had some really good suggestions, and pointed me in good directions.
It will (somehow) be taken care of in the next day or two.
Again, me, her and the girl from the police station all work tomorrow, I have a feeling it might be a good time to actually discuss it properly. I realize it's a day away, but it's not like I have today to sit there and talk it out.
Again, thanks for all the suggestions and input so far. I'm glad I can see her today and mention some of this.0 -
Not knowing any of you or your working environment, it would be hard to make a judgement but I would suggest that the only person who can decide is the person this happened to. She will need to consider how she feels working there now and whether she thinks she can continue working for him.
If she does decide to continue working there, then maybe she could have a chat with the boss, (maybe with you or someone else present) and tell him that she felt uncomfortable and that it was inappropriate and that it mustn't happen again.
As for you, well you are doing all you can just by being there for her and talking it all through with her.
Best of luck x0
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