Tell me about your rock bottom

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Replies

  • The_new_Amy
    The_new_Amy Posts: 29
    My husband is in Afghanistan and our oldest daughter is a high school senior. She was on homecoming court a few months ago and I had to escort her out onto the basketball court during crowning. The pictures of that were the start of my rock bottom.

    Rock bottom hit hard about 10 days ago. I happened to check my hubby's email, we have each other's passwords. There were emails back and forth between he and a female co worker who was on R&R. He said nothing at all inappropriate but she sent him her phone number and asked if he could call her, said she 'missed his *kitten*' and kept asking him to sign into yahoo chat. While I was logged into his email, it also logged into chat and she sent him a message. Her picture popped up and she's very attractive. I was nice to her, said it was me and that he never signs in there but it turned me into a hysterical mess. I was crying and throwing up for days. My husband kept asking me what was going on and I wouldn't tell him, I kept blaming other things. Finally, he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he knew I'd read his emails and talked to her and that she's just a friend, she just talks like that to everyone and he was really disappointed and hurt that I hadn't just told him why I was so upset. I was SO embarrassed that he knew I had checked his email and that I had been so upset over something so dumb. We've been together 20 years, my husband is a really, really good guy. All of that was solely based in my insecurities, most of which are based on my weight/body issues. I'm still mortified that I acted like I did, even if he wasn't here to witness it. I'm also so thankful that he's been 100% supportive and been careful to give me constant reassurance since all this happened.

    He works out and keeps himself in great shape and always has. After four kids over the course of 14 years and 9 miscarriages due to health issues, I was terrified that no matter how hard I work, I'll never be satisified with my body again. My marriage and respect for my husband matter way too much for me to let fear stand in the way of at least giving this my very best. I may never have the body I'd like to have but it will certainly be a whole lot better than it is now.
  • sarahsaur
    sarahsaur Posts: 18 Member
    I hit rock bottom when I saw photos of me at a local shelter pet adoption event. I don't ever take full body shots, but I was walking one of our shelter dogs and someone snapped a photo of me. I saw it later and I didn't recognize myself. I felt horrible and disgusting. I weighed myself and realized I had gained about 40 pounds in a little over a year. I couldn't sleep comfortably, I couldn't move without my heart beating too fast. I would wake up and I would immediately want to go back to sleep. I really believe I was dying. I was afraid that I was going to die in my sleep. So I started eating healthier and exercising lightly. It's still hard for me to do much, sometimes it feels like I'm going to suffocate, but I am not going to give up. I want to be fit and healthy with a strong beautiful body. I want to actually live!
  • striveforhealthy
    striveforhealthy Posts: 137 Member
    I was tagged in an image on facebook from a wedding I had attended and didn't even recognize myself. I didn't know I had let my weight get so out of control.
  • f1ctional
    f1ctional Posts: 235
    I went to Universal Studios (Islands of Adventure) here in Florida. I would never consider I had a "problem". I always just assumed I was just a bit chunky, husky, or whatever. I went there with the family on a 3 day vacation. When we finally got to the parks I found out that I couldn't fit on any of the rides. I ended up totally embarrassed in front of my wife and kids and had to get off of the ride and go out the exit and wait for them to get done. That happened two more times. Bless the heart of the girl who worked the Jurassic Park ride, she told me to suck it in and buckled me in anyways so I could go. I just walked around the rest of the time holding everyones stuff so they could still have fun. Nothing like public humiliation to put you in your place.

    That my friends, was my rock bottom. I have been back and forth since that point, but here on MFP is the longest I have stuck to a regimen that is actually working, and today being my 25th day, I have no intentions of backing down this time. Around this time next year (or sooner) I am going back to Universal and i am going to ride every god damn ride at that park. Twice.
  • jaxandmaksmom
    jaxandmaksmom Posts: 262 Member
    5 years ago, i ended a marriage that was toxic.. i was now a single mom with two kids... four years ago my father who was my hero and best friend died suddenly of a heart attack....those two things started the spiral down.....

    a year ago i went on a date (met him online) to a movie.. we went into the movie.. and he said he had to go and get a drink... he never came back.. i got a text saying I was too big for him to be seen with.

    You would think when this happened.. i would have right then and there been like end of story time to change... i got depressed... i began to spend time at home.. i didnt want to leave.. and i would eat.. i would eat because it never hated me.. it never made me feel like i was a loser or gross.. it made me happy... i would eat ice cream or whatever else i could find.. I loved the burger shack near my house that served the most amazing fat filled burger ever.. ( so high in calories they wouldnt even tell you how many...) i would have take out or mcdonalds because i was too tired to cook..

    all the while my kids watched me balloon and lose complete control... i would hide food in my closet so people wouldnt know. I would drink a 12 pack of pepsi or 2 liters if that was on sale..

    then i stepped on the scale and the reality hit me.. i sat on the couch alone on new years eve... no one to hug no one to kiss.. by myself.. and i had done it to myself.. i was fat and because i was fat i cut myself off from everyone...

    as the clock struck midnight i was in my cupboards and fridge getting rid of everything that had assisted me to do this to myself...

    i sit here now writting this thinking back and i realize.. if i hadnt done this. i would be dead and not because of the weight but i was so depressed that i would have taken my own life.

    today... i am 54 lbs lighter.. 47 inches smaller.. i am addicted to the gym.. healthy food is all that i have in my home.. and i smile alot.. and i play with my kids.. every day i do something fun with them... and i love it....
  • eva_lawlor
    eva_lawlor Posts: 81
    when i stepped on the scale and realized id gained 5 lbs in less than 2 weeks, then again when people started asking if i was pregnant/how far along i was.
  • tinksmommy2006
    tinksmommy2006 Posts: 575
    a friend of mine and her girlfriend had been hitting the gym hard, toning up for their beach holiday. then they told me how much they weighed i realised i weighed more than the pair of them put together. enough was enough

    Mine is kinda like yours.

    My rock bottom was when I realized I was 7 pounds away from being 2 of my husband. We are both 5' 5" he is 125 pounds and all muscle and I was at 243...all fat. That is not good.
  • acg1305
    acg1305 Posts: 224 Member
    Sitting in the bath and finding small, albeit noticeable stretch marks on my stomach, I started losing weight from then on.
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
    I wouldn't say there was really a "rock bottom". I miscarried in December, and after having 934750937840598304958309485093840598358309458093845093845093840598345 fertility treatments, the weight just packed on- and QUICK.

    Last month I had to travel out of state for a training class, and one of my coworkers told me about a few comments that were made about me (specifically, that I was "fat").

    I wouldn't say it bothered me, but it motivated me to start MFP again. I was VERY successful with it last year before my husband and I started fertility treatments, but somewhere along the way I got lost. Now I'm back on track, determined never to get at that place again, and I can only thank the one who called me fat.
  • KellyMirth
    KellyMirth Posts: 153
    When I got on the scale and realized I was only 6.5 lbs less than the day I delivered my son eleven years prior. I've had already joined mfp and was logging my food but had actually gained two lbs since I started. The day I weighed in at my new high, I started going to the gym. It's only been just about ten days but I already feel better.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    bump for later x
  • HausOfTina
    HausOfTina Posts: 92
    When I went to Six Flags with my sister, cousin, and boyfriend. I couldn't fit on the coasters. When I had to stand to the side after being told I didn't fit was rock bottom for me. I had never felt so embarrassed and low in my entire life.

    When I hit my goal, I hope to head back there and enjoy the rides that I used to love so much.
  • perfect10isha
    perfect10isha Posts: 200 Member
    After having my second baby and even at 6 weeks post partum I still looked like I was 5-6 months pregnant. I was like, hell no, this ain't gonna work! So I ordered the Insanity DVD's and start tracking my calories again. I was determined not to have to buy new clothes before I went back to work from maternity leave. The crazy thing, I actually still do need to buy new clothes... but its because my clothes are TOO BIG! :laugh: That's irony for ya, lol.
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
    After eating late at night with my friends everynight, fast food, brownies, alcohol, I gained 60 pounds in 2 years....i'm only 5' 2" so thats alot on my frame . my father looked at me and said you have got some chubby....it took those words for me to realize I was heading down the wrong path to a life of unhealthiness..I needed to hear that from someone.... I was not happy, I didnt feel comfortable in my body, I didnt care. I realized I had to change at that moment , and fast!!! .it took me 10 years of ups and downs to get to where I am now, I have lost it all and more, I am less than I was in high school. I do not deprive myself of things I love like chocolate and pizza, however I do watch what I eat and make smart choices. I exercise 5 - 6 times a week, and I am vey happy in my skin again :)
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    Rock bottom- i was hooked on pain pills (percocet, vicodin, etc) and didn't care about what i looked like or felt like (as long as I felt high)...then in rehab i discovered i loved being active, but once i went home i put it off and started putting on the pounds that people tend to put on after they sober up. I gained about 40 pounds. Every day I think about what life was like hooked on those evil little pills and how far I came to get off that terrible habit. But I hated how much weight i gained and one day literally woke up and said "enough is enough..im clean and sober but Im still letting myself go.. lets finish this thing the right way" So i changed my diet, added exercise, got into sports again, etc... my life has never been the same. Its is AWESOME now. I look good and feel great and want to continue living each upcoming day like this.
  • debloves2ride
    debloves2ride Posts: 386
    a picture of me in a swim suit with what I thought was a "cover up" and my cottage cheese thighs sticking out! everyone else looked so tan and healthy and I looked like a fat old lady! made up my mind that the next family reunion was going to be much better! so far so good
  • Divaflo1
    Divaflo1 Posts: 15
    My rock bottom was when I noticed my hands and feet going numb. I thought it was just because of the desk job...you sitting all day. When in fact it was an untreated diabetes and high blood pressure thing! I had the gastric sleeve procedure to help with my health issues since changing eating habits and working out was not enough.

    I am happy to say things are looking a lot better! still fighting!
  • nmb0717
    nmb0717 Posts: 130 Member
    It was right after my sister visited for Halloween 2011. Not sure what flipped the switch but I just literally woke up one day and stepped on the scale and said NO WAY and that was that. I haven't looked back since and actually don't really miss eating "whatever" as much as I thought I would.
  • kaetmarie
    kaetmarie Posts: 668 Member
    I got married in August and went on our honeymoon very blissfully overweight. When I got back and we were looking at our pictures, I was horrified at the fat girl with her paws all over my husband!! I decided that day to make a change.
  • cafeconleche
    cafeconleche Posts: 29
    Hi, drebeauty. It was this past Easter, for me. My husband snapped a photo with me and my kids in their outfits and I was HORRIFIED by the way I looked. No matter which angle, it was all unflattering. I couldn't blame my hubby's photo taking skills:) but rather, the way I'd been treating my body. I was disgusted and ashamed! So far, I've lost about 16 lbs, but cannot seem to break the 200 lb mark. Not giving up!
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    When I broke the 200 mark, my blood pressure was sky high and I felt run down all the time.

    I used to be an athelete and did some modeling and when I saw myself in a picture that was it.
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    I have always been a stress eater. After my mom passed away last July I was overly stressed and depressed that day so I went to McDonalds and order so much food enough to feed a small family went home and ate it all. Then I was having a hard time breathing after I ate it all. I was laying on the bed curled in a ball and realized that my grandma died at 40 from cancer, my mom died at the age of 53 from kidney disease. If I want to live past those ages I better make a change for the better. I was weighing about 160 then I started working out on my own and lost 20 pounds and sadly gained some back. In february I joined MFP and been living a healthier lifestyle ever since.
  • jankleberry
    jankleberry Posts: 508
    When I stood on the scale and realised I was OVER 14stone. :sad:
  • leika79
    leika79 Posts: 114
    quite alot of this!! and he was right!
    He told me he was disappointed in me...because he felt I wasn't trying hard enough to take care of myself!
    He wanted his "girlfriend" back.....so I decided it was time to give her back to him!
    I have struggled...the weight has gone up & down over the last 3 years............but this time is going to be different! I AM going to succeed!

    then started my change of lifestyle, i brought some scales at my first weigh in i realised i was 28lb heavier than HIM:noway:
    ...and nearly the same weight as i was at apx 6 months pregnant.
    29lb down i am now ME again :happy:
  • mommy7
    mommy7 Posts: 153
    My rock bottom began when my sister got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid. Awesome! I got to go dress shopping with the other two bridesmaids and they both happened to be size 3. I was trying on 16's. I began trying to lose weight and was having no luck. My youngest (#7) was 2.5 months old, so I figured it was too soon and gave up.

    Then came the photos from the wedding in May 10. I was that fat chick standing on stage. The only fat member of the bridal party. I couldn't believe my eyes. That summer, I lost about 18lbs. Then life happened and I had no time to do anything for myself. I ended up putting most of the lost weight back on.

    So, in March 11, I did a second go round and managed to lose another 12lbs. I ended up falling off the band wagon and put most of that weight back on.

    This year for christmas, my husband bought me pj's that I had wanted and they were too small along with a weight set that I made him return. I was so upset and so offended. So, in february, I got serious and began changing my life. I find I really enjoy hitting the gym. I enjoy making friends here. I enjoy just having time to myself every day. I don't mind not eating as much junk as I use to. I am loving the results I see and intend on staying with it.
  • stephanie1133
    stephanie1133 Posts: 211
    Hey everybody I'm interested to hear your story about the moment you knew beyond a shadow of doubt that you had to lose weight. For me it was a few month after I had my son. I breastfed him for about 4months so I pretty much ate whatever I wanted because I was burning so many calories. At one point I was the smallest I had been in years but due to a lot of different factors I stopped nursing and at that exact time I was laid off from my job and just began to stress eat and just sit on the couch all day watching TV...my son was only about 5months at the time so I didn't really have to do much moving around. Immediately I started noticing the pounds sneaking back up on me at an accelerated rate and before I knew it I was 8lbs shy of my PREGNANCY WEIGHT and wearing two damn girdles just to fit into my clothes. I was horrified at the way I looked in pics with my baby so I had to lose the weight

    Crazy! This sounds almost exactly like my story!!! I had my son in December and was 236. Within 4 weeks was 207, but stopped breastfeeding. About 8 weeks later, noticing I was having to wear my maternity clothes again, and thinking I was probably 210 or so, I stepped on the scale and was 219.8!!! I literally stood there with my jaw dropped. I knew at this rate I'd be over 300 pounds by the end of the year. So I started that day, that morning, that moment! It scared me that I had gained 12 pounds in about 8 weeks and barely noticed.
  • VryIrishGirl76
    VryIrishGirl76 Posts: 1,167 Member
    Hmmmmmm, mine was more a fling off a cliff, hitting every rock and root on the way down and landing with a massive THUD at the bottom!

    I dropped about 20 pounds, the completely wrong way, about 2 years ago hit an emotional tornado that culminated in a separation and pending divorce and packed it all back on.
    I got absolutely furious with myself when, while packing to move out, that I had an ENTIRE wardrobe that I could not fit into.
    Fast forward through the last year, insert lots of soul searching and a few spot lights on some skeletons and here I am.
  • cindylou617
    cindylou617 Posts: 51 Member
    My rock bottom began when my sister got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid. Awesome! I got to go dress shopping with the other two bridesmaids and they both happened to be size 3. I was trying on 16's. I began trying to lose weight and was having no luck. My youngest (#7) was 2.5 months old, so I figured it was too soon and gave up.

    Then came the photos from the wedding in May 10. I was that fat chick standing on stage. The only fat member of the bridal party. I couldn't believe my eyes. That summer, I lost about 18lbs. Then life happened and I had no time to do anything for myself. I ended up putting most of the lost weight back on.

    So, in March 11, I did a second go round and managed to lose another 12lbs. I ended up falling off the band wagon and put most of that weight back on.

    This year for christmas, my husband bought me pj's that I had wanted and they were too small along with a weight set that I made him return. I was so upset and so offended. So, in february, I got serious and began changing my life. I find I really enjoy hitting the gym. I enjoy making friends here. I enjoy just having time to myself every day. I don't mind not eating as much junk as I use to. I am loving the results I see and intend on staying with it.

    Mommy7 actually inspired me to get off the rock bottom! I love her!
    I was getting close to my 'mental threshold' of acceptable weight. I have fibro and PTSD and those things were effecting my weight, pain, life, etc.
  • dp1228
    dp1228 Posts: 439 Member
    My rock bottom was January of last year. I was celebrating my birthday late in Atlantic city. I was the biggest I had ever been and I knew it but i didnt KNOW it.

    Before that, my parents were harrassing me about my weight and it made me very defensive and I just kept lying to myself saying that it wasnt that bad. I live in NY and people arent shy here so I would get harrassed in the street as well sometimes when people wanted to be funny. I was also out of a job and trying to figure out what to do. All of that just made me angry and depressed and I kept eating more and more and more and drinking and just not caring. I remember one night in the middle of the night where I binged for hours and cleaned most of the fridge. I ate until I felt sick. And still all of this combined wasn't my rock bottom.

    I planned my birthday celebration for january. I was stressing about what I was gonna wear and I wanted everything to be perfect. When we got back I took a look at the pictures my friends posted and i was absolutely ashamed.

    janbeforeafter.jpg

    The first pic is from my trip to AC the second picture is from a couple months ago.
  • ccmccoy09
    ccmccoy09 Posts: 284 Member
    Somewhere in Spring of 2011, between selling all my size 4-6 clothes because "there's no way I'll ever fit in them again," realizing I hadn't allowed anyone to take a full-length picture of me since my wedding (2 years before), and being relieved we couldn't go to our friends' destination wedding because it meant I wouldn't have to deal with wearing a swimsuit around fabulous skinny people I hardly knew. That wasn't the final straw though.

    The kicker was in June when I had to go to court at the last minute and literally did not have one court-appropriate outfit that fit. My appearance was set for 9:30 and the mall doesn't open until 10. You can't just come late to court, so I had to call the clerk and tell her that I needed to be late BECAUSE I WAS TOO FAT FOR ANY OF MY SUITS AND NEEDED TO GO BUY SOMETHING. So humiliating.
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