Husband is constant opposition!!

I have a similar problem with my husband's eating. I've always had to cook differently even when I wasn't eating healthy and my husband LOVES junk food. So I realized I had to accept that this was the situation, that I couldn't change him and work around it somehow. And cooking two meals got old fast.

Here was the practical solution I came up with. FREEZER COOKING on a large scale...and trust me you'd be amazed at the fact you can freeze just about everything. Not only that you can save money doing it. People that really get into it can do one or two days of cooking to cook for the entire month but that's always too much for me. I always have to break it down.

Initially I started out doing most of it for him, making side dishes I could toss in for him when I had salads or other healthier sides with a meat portion. One of my biggest fall backs is I'd get the miniature bread loaf pans and buy like 20lbs of potatoes. Then I'd watch a movie and peel all of them and use my recipe called "make ahead mash potatoes". I'd also make things he likes like meatloaf, spaghetti and meatballs, etc. and freeze all of it. Then I took it even further and started doing alot of freezer cooking for myself to take to work so I could get off the fast food track. Let me know if you like and I'm more than happy to share the recipes.

Anyway don't know if this will help you but this is my "work around" because I can't make my husband eat differently and I was in the same boat. The upside was he was very appreciative that I went to the trouble to make sure he was well fed on his favorites and could even go to the freezer and pick what he wanted himself when I was working. And even if he didn't lose weight, me filling him up on real food instead of him junking out kept him from gaining.

If he is that opposed to eating healthy, then I would give him his portion of the grocery money and tell him that he is in charge of feeding himself and that includes cooking his own meals. Then you only have to worry about your own groceries and your own meals. When he sees that you are getting smoking hot, and he's only growing wider, he might change his tune. I'm lucky that my hubby is totally on board, but if he acting like yours, that is exactly what I would do!

I had a guy at work who asked me nearly every day why am I eating crap / vomit / rabbit food etc (that was his thoughts of healthy food). So I decided to pull the bull by the horns and ask him outright "if you can prove to me that my food is unhealthy and yours is healthy then I may consider eating the same as you." He eventally stopped nit-picking my food after a few grunts and moans.
Now he is eating healthly and losing weight. Don't harp on how bad is food is and how good yours is coz he will just dig his heels in. he will see slowly come round.

I think a lot of people here are missing the point.

You do cook healthy meals and he does ignore them and goes out and buys his own junk food "because he is not full".

I am going to give you a few incidents from my perspective.

When I was really in a bad place food wise, I would eat fast food for breakfast lunch and then after work I would grab a burger because I knew my wife was going to make something low fat and healthy and that it wouldn't fill me up. I did this all the time, it was a beginning of an over eating disorder. Sometimes my wife would make me lunch and I would just toss it and go buy food on a credit card and eat out with a buddy at work. then I would get my usual pre dinner dinner. I would get home, tell my wife YUM that was awesome and then think nothing of it.

Sounds like maybe your husband is kind of doing the opposite, lashing out on your change of behavior and being insecure about it which in turn he is probably turning the stress into eating the crap.

That is a possibility, or he is just a douche and is purposefully resisting your attempts at a healthy lifestyle for all the same reasons significant others do that (insecurity - thinking that you are bettering yourself and moving on from them and so forth)

Or you can be over exaggerating and you were triggered from one or two occasions that he did not like your cooking... who knows.

I lean towards the beginning of an over eating disorder simply because he is showing a lot of signs of stress eating...

A few suggestions:

Make a budget, if the double grocery shopping is causing a problem - show him that you have to cut back on other expenses to make ends meat like entertainment and so on

Now, I am not condoning any sort of stupidity like withholding sexual activity BUT, maybe address his sexuality and reaffirm that you think he is sexy and that you are working on toning up and losing weight to improve your sex life. It is amazing how stupid us men can be and we would go for that

The bottom line is; it is your body and you cannot use his behavior as an excuse to stop you from becoming a healthier you. That could very well be a possibility with this too but from the looks of it probably not. If you have to make separate meals and you don't feel its necessary communicate with him and let him know that he has to start making his own food.

Quite honestly though if none of the above work this would be a deal breaker for me. This would show an obvious lack of compassion and ability to compromise if he was resistant on you becoming healthier and but before you call the divorce attorney I would suggest exploring the idea that he may be stressed out, creating an eating disorder, enveloped in his own insecurity or he is simply an *kitten* hat.

Good luck I don't envy you! My wife is thankfully 90% supportive about all this !

Unfortunately trying to change someone's eating habits is nearly impossible. However that does not mean you should give up on him. He has to come to the realization himself that he is damaging his body but often that doesn't happen until there is a health scare. Just keep loving him and slowly and gently offering him new foods. My guy won't eat "green stuff" but there are heaps of other things like mushrooms, pulses, potatoes etc. that he likes. A difficult situation for you, money wise and health wise for him and I wish you luck.

Well said!! i was thingking same thing, your good example might eventually change him. keep it up girl, we are here to support you.

If you find a good solution to this issue, please let me know.

My wife is the same way. She has absolutely no desire to be healthier. This is something I want to do for me, but it would be really, really nice to be able to come home and tell my wife about the latest goal I reached or the killer workout I was really proud of. She just doesn't want to hear anything about it, so I don't say anything. In all honestly, I think she is scared to death about the changes in me. It seems to bring out some insecurities. It is scary when your spouse suddenly starts rocking the boat and changing dramatically.

I do the grocery shopping and make the meals. I do make small variations, such as a side dish I just don't eat that the other members of the family do or brown rice for me and white for everyone else, but that is the extent I will go. I don't buy cookies, crackers, etc. Once in a while I will take my daughter to the ice cream shop or something so that she is not deprived, but I usually don't partake.

I've tried relentlessly to find healthy recipes that he will eat. He will eat what I cook sometimes, but he will modify it to make it not healthy (adding a ton of cheese, ranch dressing, mayo, picking the veggies out, etc.) and he will say it doesn't fill him up and then go to the gas station by our house and buy a bunch of junk food because he's "still hungry", which ends up costing us more in the long run (which is why I buy him his own groceries and make his dinner separate, it's cheaper). We absolutely can't afford the two grocery haul thing and I feel like I'm the one who is going to have to bend.

What sort of recipes have you been going for?

Hi everyone. I have struggled with my weight, yo-yo dieted, all that stuff that everyone says. I feel like I've finally found a pretty good balance and am on the right track. However, my husband is like a constant opposing force to my health efforts.

He claims that he absolutely cannot stand to eat anything that "grows from the ground". I swear he only rejects things BECAUSE they're good for him. He will go the entire day without eating anything and come home and eat mass amounts of junk food. He NEVER drinks water, only Red Bull or soda, and I can tell he's severely dehydrated. I worry about his health all the time. All of his uncles are morbidly obese and all but one of them have type 2 diabetes. My husband is only about 30 lbs. overweight right now but his weight continues to creep up and up.

Sometimes I tell myself to just ignore it and let him figure it out for himself because he gets mad when I bring it up. BUT...he's a huge obstacle for me achieving my weight loss goals. I have two separate grocery lists of food to buy every week, one for me and one for him. I also end up having to cook two separate dinners every night. I've tried relentlessly to find healthy recipes that he will eat. He will eat what I cook sometimes, but he will modify it to make it not healthy (adding a ton of cheese, ranch dressing, mayo, picking the veggies out, etc.) and he will say it doesn't fill him up and then go to the gas station by our house and buy a bunch of junk food because he's "still hungry", which ends up costing us more in the long run (which is why I buy him his own groceries and make his dinner separate, it's cheaper). We absolutely can't afford the two grocery haul thing and I feel like I'm the one who is going to have to bend.

WHAT DO I DO???? It's like talking to a brick wall when I try to reason with him. Sometimes I think he wants me to be fat. He even makes me feel bad, calling me the "health Nazi" and saying I'm obsessed with my weight and that's no way to live.

HELP!!

I can honestly say that I WAS your husband!

My hubby tried for years to get me to eat healthier and I refused because (my reasons throughout the years):

I didn't like the taste of healthy food
I was too busy to eat healthier
It was so much easier & less time consuming to eat healthier
I didn't eat anything all day, so I will eat what tastes good when I do eat
I work so hard, I should at least enjoy my food

And the reasons went on & on & on...

I put him down for wanting to eat healthy, and yes, that was wrong, but I woke up one day & found that I was, in my opinion, grossly overweight and having weird heart things happening too. So, I feel like I hit my rock bottom.

I now realize that food was my crutch and I used it to comfort me and I was so so SCARED to lose all of my yummy crutches. I'm really new at the whole losing weight/eating healthy thing, but I've identified why I would never change the way I ate, which I think, is half the battle for me.

For me, it took hitting that rock bottom and seeing just what I had become....

Sounds like he's not ready to change, and unfortunately that element of readiness is vital.

All you can do is let him know how much it concerns you and hope that he loves you enough to do something about it himself.

Alternately, he may get a wake up call as he gets older (not sure how old you guys are right now). I used to be very much of his mindset when I was in my mid 20s, then I hit 30 and it all fell apart, high blood pressure, diabetes, basic overall syndrome x onset. That should get him moving.

Make him cook his own food. It is 2012 and guys are able to enter the kitchen now. I know for some this might be a crazy idea, but I see it all the time on the electric picture box, men in the kitchen....cooking their own food....who would've thought! Anywho, marriage is about teamwork, if you can't even work on this together....well, I hope you all don't have kids yet...