Husband is constant opposition!!

love, honor and OBEY.

love, honor and OBEY.

I think in our vows we said "Love, honor, and respect" .. I think we both said that.

I think our husbands must be one in the same

I can relate....my boyfriend says corn, and potatoes are vegatables. He only eats iceberg lettuce, SMOTHERED in Western dressing, with cheese, croutons and nuts. It's been a struggle. Any time I would try to use a sugar substitute, something other than real butter, fat free/light/sugar free he would do this thing where he'd roll it around his mouth, smash it against the roof of his mouth (with it open, of course) and then tell me it tasted funny or the texture was "weird". It's been a real big problem. Oh...not to mention that I am a binge eater who gravitates towards sweets first, salt second....and he would bring in donuts, cookies, cakes, ice cream, soda....just ridiculousless all the time. I even posted on the board (much like you have). After months of feeling sabotaged and feeling upset, I finally confronted him. I told him I was sick of having the garbage in the house. I was sick of being fat and feeling gross. And I was sick of feeling like he didn't respect me and didnt want me to have the things that I wanted (being healthier) and that I wasn't going to buy him his own food anymore. I told him things might taste different and be different, but that doesn't make them bad and he needed to deal with it or take care of himself-somewhere else- because I wasn't doing the dual dinner routine anymore.

One night while talking, he finally admitted that he is the heaviest he's ever been and doesn't like it. We had a talk about how he needs to be doing things in moderation and actually acknowledging the things he eats. So I got him on MFP. He refused to log anything himself (he made me do it) and only did it for 2-3 days and then quit. BUT I have noticed some changes...he doesn't complain when I mess with the food a little, he even tried light dressing (he wasn't ready for fat free). It's all about making small changes, one at a time. I'd definitely stop making him his own dinner. Make ONE healthy dinner...if he doesn't like what you make then let him make his own, if he wants to add cheese or whatever, let him. But I would stop doing everything to enable him. Let him fend for himself or make the changes he desires in his food, but don't go out of your way to do it.

Unfortunately trying to change someone's eating habits is nearly impossible. However that does not mean you should give up on him. He has to come to the realization himself that he is damaging his body but often that doesn't happen until there is a health scare. Just keep loving him and slowly and gently offering him new foods. My guy won't eat "green stuff" but there are heaps of other things like mushrooms, pulses, potatoes etc. that he likes. A difficult situation for you, money wise and health wise for him and I wish you luck.

^^^^ this^^^ My husband *says* that he wants to get healthy, etc, but he eats lots of junk. we have been a member at the local Y for over 3 months and he hasn't set foot in there but once--I have been there probably 50 times. Every night he asks "what's for snack?" I have been attempting to keep healthier options at home for him to snack on--cashews, yogurt, whole wheat bagels, etc

Since you are the one who grocery shops I'd stop buying his junk food. If he wants to eat bad then he can go out and do his own shopping. Thats what I told my husband! lol That man can down a bag of dorritos in two days! I said I wont buy anything unhealthy for the sake of our family. So far its working...

for a minute, I thought you were talking about MY husband. He is the exact same and its hard trying to tell a grown man what to do. However, I refuse to cook fatty foods. I also substitute the type of meat I use and hide veggies in his meals. He doesnt know the difference if I do it right. Overall, they have to want better for themselves. I just pray for him and do the best I can to help.

You can't force somebody to start eating healthy. It sort of a state of mind. Just like smoking cigarettes, you know it's bad for you and everyone tells you, but you aren't going to quit just because someone points it out to you.
I can sort of relate, because I live with my parents and siblings and I'm the only one watching my diet. You just have to be a good example and maybe he'll start to get interested on his own.
As for the financial part of it... you could do as someone else suggested and just quit buying all of the extra junk food he'd like and if he desperately needs it he can go buy it himself at a different time.

Hi everyone. I have struggled with my weight, yo-yo dieted, all that stuff that everyone says. I feel like I've finally found a pretty good balance and am on the right track. However, my husband is like a constant opposing force to my health efforts.

He claims that he absolutely cannot stand to eat anything that "grows from the ground". I swear he only rejects things BECAUSE they're good for him. He will go the entire day without eating anything and come home and eat mass amounts of junk food. He NEVER drinks water, only Red Bull or soda, and I can tell he's severely dehydrated. I worry about his health all the time. All of his uncles are morbidly obese and all but one of them have type 2 diabetes. My husband is only about 30 lbs. overweight right now but his weight continues to creep up and up.

Sometimes I tell myself to just ignore it and let him figure it out for himself because he gets mad when I bring it up. BUT...he's a huge obstacle for me achieving my weight loss goals. I have two separate grocery lists of food to buy every week, one for me and one for him. I also end up having to cook two separate dinners every night. I've tried relentlessly to find healthy recipes that he will eat. He will eat what I cook sometimes, but he will modify it to make it not healthy (adding a ton of cheese, ranch dressing, mayo, picking the veggies out, etc.) and he will say it doesn't fill him up and then go to the gas station by our house and buy a bunch of junk food because he's "still hungry", which ends up costing us more in the long run (which is why I buy him his own groceries and make his dinner separate, it's cheaper). We absolutely can't afford the two grocery haul thing and I feel like I'm the one who is going to have to bend.

WHAT DO I DO???? It's like talking to a brick wall when I try to reason with him. Sometimes I think he wants me to be fat. He even makes me feel bad, calling me the "health Nazi" and saying I'm obsessed with my weight and that's no way to live.

HELP!!

Why are you shopping and cooking for him? He's an adult who can make his own choices. My husband is aware that if he wants to eat crap, he has to take the time to go buy or fix it for himself.

Men can be pretty brain dead and sometimes it takes a mediator to call them out on their actions in order for a guy to see how clueless and insensitive they can be.

By clueless and insensitive, do you mean the type of person who'd make sweeping generalizations about an entire gender?

As you are both young I am sure he feels invincible and may prefer to do as he pleases with his diet. I would do seperate grocery lists. Perhaps once he sees how well you are doing maybe he will get on board. On the flip side as he ages and continues on this path his health will decline it really is not if it is when. I would stay on top of him and his habits he will thank you in the end. Maybe he could try some new things he might find that he likes them be persuasive in a loving way.

Stay on your path and be patient with him. He may come over to your side eventually. Usually it takes a trip to the Dr. to set they guys on the right path. Good Luck!

I vote you do your grocery shopping and he do his.n sorry that's a hard situation to be in. I def. wouldn't cook him a new/separate dinner. Be like a mom. You eat what I cook or starve.

Go to the doctor together! Or watch "weight of the nation" on HBO and tell him even though he aggravates you you do want to grow old with him and that starts changing diet plans. Ease into it, I bake mashes bananas into brownie mix and cut out half the oil, spinach and feta cheese omelette with tomatoes.c . . .good luck!

Good point. At least you don't have to enable him. This is a matter of integrity and care for your husband. If you know that diet is slowly killing him, then don't buy or cook the food for him. He'll either fend for himself or come around out of convenience. Just possition it as a caring guesture and respect for your own integrity, not a manipulation tactic.

Emma

In our house I am also the chief cook and I feel somewhat guilty if I don't make dinner. My way of handling the two menus is to make extra veggies for me, and to make sure he has his rice/potatoes whatever. The non-compromise is that I make the entree for my diet. If he wants to doll it up with dressing that's fine with me. I have to turn the other way when he eats a lot of nuts or cheese before dinner, and I remind myself that I'm the one who decided to lose weight.

Your situation doesn't sound particularly supportive, but I agree with the other posters who said don't comment. You'll just create further tension around the food. Just take care of what you need to eat to lose the weight, make sure your husband has dinner without making him starve, too. You'll be okay.

This works best in my home^^
I often cook a meat/entree that we all can eat, a side such as rice or potatoes that I can sometimes have in moderation, and a side of veggies that I can eat as much as I want of. One meal, one menu, everybody eats. Occasionally, I will fix the family something they love that I don't eat and very occasionally I cook something for me that no one else is particularly fond of. You can't make him change, but reducing the tension and setting a good example are great ways to help him want to. It may take a long time or never happen, but you are on the right track with making changes in your life. If you can't get him to stop buying his own expensive junk food, you might (might!) consider talking about a budget. He may have no clue how much all his unhealthy convenience items are adding up to. Keep in mind though, that if you are struggling with each other over food, the stress can be unhealthy, and for me at least, stress makes me want to eat!

Cut him off...

Hi everyone. I have struggled with my weight, yo-yo dieted, all that stuff that everyone says. I feel like I've finally found a pretty good balance and am on the right track. However, my husband is like a constant opposing force to my health efforts.

He claims that he absolutely cannot stand to eat anything that "grows from the ground". I swear he only rejects things BECAUSE they're good for him. He will go the entire day without eating anything and come home and eat mass amounts of junk food. He NEVER drinks water, only Red Bull or soda, and I can tell he's severely dehydrated. I worry about his health all the time. All of his uncles are morbidly obese and all but one of them have type 2 diabetes. My husband is only about 30 lbs. overweight right now but his weight continues to creep up and up.

Sometimes I tell myself to just ignore it and let him figure it out for himself because he gets mad when I bring it up. BUT...he's a huge obstacle for me achieving my weight loss goals. I have two separate grocery lists of food to buy every week, one for me and one for him. I also end up having to cook two separate dinners every night. I've tried relentlessly to find healthy recipes that he will eat. He will eat what I cook sometimes, but he will modify it to make it not healthy (adding a ton of cheese, ranch dressing, mayo, picking the veggies out, etc.) and he will say it doesn't fill him up and then go to the gas station by our house and buy a bunch of junk food because he's "still hungry", which ends up costing us more in the long run (which is why I buy him his own groceries and make his dinner separate, it's cheaper). We absolutely can't afford the two grocery haul thing and I feel like I'm the one who is going to have to bend.

WHAT DO I DO???? It's like talking to a brick wall when I try to reason with him. Sometimes I think he wants me to be fat. He even makes me feel bad, calling me the "health Nazi" and saying I'm obsessed with my weight and that's no way to live.

HELP!!

This is a rather easy fix... If he won't eat what you cook and goes and spends more money on food from a gas station... Big problem....

Solution A : take his debit card or take the money out of the bank or take the money and put it in a savings account....

Solution B : Don't give him no play... I don't care who it is, if your old lady isn't putting out your going to do what it takes to get some... Its called MALE INSTINCT


IMO of the situation...

I see you quoted "grows from the ground" well I don't either for the most part its very common. I don't eat anything all day sometimes but when I do I eat like 1500 calories in one sitting. Then my belly is full... Typical American Male to eat till your belly is full. Yes his problem could be a health issue later down the road but it isn't now. Don't try and force him to eat things he doesn't want to eat... That could very controlling of you even though its in his best interest. Instead of worrying about what groceries to buy him you should be thinking what groceries to buy y'all. When you cook dinner it doesn't have to be too different meals. YOU are making it more difficult then it really is.Chicken is my house holds best friend. My gf is pretty much a vegetarian she eats meat but mostly green stuff. If you want him to change then let him do it on his own... He'll end up with diabetes or something and then guess what... He'll start dieting... All I drink is soda as well yes its a dirty addiction... However he is a GROWN man and NOBODY can tell me what I can and cannot do with my body. My advice to you is live with it or live without him. I know he's an obstacle right now but who gives a crap? Your the one on the diet not him, your meals should be changed not his. You chose to live this new healthy way time to pay the consequences of that choice.

So what I do is cook ALL The FOOD, in seperate dishes. I don't put the corn in the rice or broccoli in my soup... Everything is cooked, then people can make their own plates. It makes for more dishes but who cares? They have to get done anyway right?

I'll add more later but as of right now I'm in trouble with my Platoon SGT...