Why am I sabotaging myself?

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almostfortysix
almostfortysix Posts: 69
in Motivation and Support
It's been 55 days since joining MFP. I had been doing really well. Logging all of my food. Walking and getting exercise. About 14 days ago I started 30 Day Shred. The first 10 days I did very well. I noticed that my stomach was shrinking and I was feeling very good about myself. (I have about 80lbs to lose) I can even wear a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since I was pregnant almost 6 years ago. I was so proud of myself. (I also said I wouldn't weigh myself until I was finished 30ds) The workout was hard on my kness but I sucked it up. The I got into level 2 and after day 1 I knew I was in trouble. My kness were really hurting me. Instead of doing the low inpact way I just sort of trudged along for another day. Then I waited just over 24 hours before doing another. Then I just flat out skipped a day. During all of this I starting eating really poorly. I have good healthy food in the house but keep making poor choices. I don't know what is driving me to do this. I got on the scale today even though I said I wouldn't and I'm up 2 lbs. I get why I'm up 2 lbs. Just because I'm not eating over my calories I am eating junk. I feel like I'm just giving up on myself and I don't want to but it's like I can't control what I'm shoveling in my mouth. This morning I atr FRUITY PEBBLES!!!!!!! TWO BOWLS and I don't even like them!
Any input?
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Replies

  • BigB1924
    BigB1924 Posts: 30
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    When your mind and body to not get a long it is hard to deal with. When your mind is telling keep going but your body (knees) will not go any further. It can be very frustrating, but you got to make sure that your body can keep up in the long run. Also 1-2lbs will be water weight. The scale can be evil, use the mirror test. How do you look, and how do you feel. If you can't do the workout find another way to workout that will not hurt your knees. Stay positive!
  • kimimila86
    kimimila86 Posts: 424
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    First, give yourself some credit for doing the 30 Day Shred! Level 2 is very hard on the joints, especially the knees... if you need a break, definitely take one. I know when I start slipping, my exercising stops and the poor eating habits start in. Fix one thing at a time and try to not be so hard on yourself :flowerforyou:

    Just remember that you're making a lifestyle change and you may trip on your path. You can do it. Congrats on staying on track for your 55 days!!! Here's to many more! (I also have about 80 lbs to lose and I'm trying desperately to do the 30DS for the full 30 days... I made it to level 3 and all hell broke loose at work)
  • sing4me4you
    sing4me4you Posts: 88 Member
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    You can turn this around. It is not unusual to begin to feel sorry for yourself at times and to expect that you will never slide a bit it unrealistic. Pick yourself up and start again. You do have control over this. I would not continue an exercise that results in continuous pain but find something different. Set some strategies and move forward - don't give up on yourself.
  • lowpro1983
    lowpro1983 Posts: 305 Member
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    I can completely relate with you. I think sometimes we have to take a step back and think about WHY we are doing this to begin with. AND TALK ABOUT IT bc sometimes just getting it all out in the open makes you feel better. This whole process is wayyyyyy more than just physical...and it's not easy. I don't think it will ever be easy for me to maintain a healthy lifestyle. There are challenges and stresses sometimes that are beyond our control. You just have to acknowledge your behavior and make small changes to change it.

    I missed the gym yesterday bc I was too busy at work and by the end of the day, I was too tired to go. Today, I went back to the gym and it was so HARD for some reason. Some days we just have to PUSH bc we know that even though we don't feel like it, we ultimately want to see results and be proud of them.

    I can do this. You can do this!!!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!! Get up, dust yourself off, & (as nike says) "JUST DO IT."
  • considermac
    considermac Posts: 59
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    First, give yourself some credit for doing the 30 Day Shred! Level 2 is very hard on the joints, especially the knees... if you need a break, definitely take one. I know when I start slipping, my exercising stops and the poor eating habits start in. Fix one thing at a time and try to not be so hard on yourself :flowerforyou:

    Just remember that you're making a lifestyle change and you may trip on your path. You can do it. Congrats on staying on track for your 55 days!!! Here's to many more! (I also have about 80 lbs to lose and I'm trying desperately to do the 30DS for the full 30 days... I made it to level 3 and all hell broke loose at work)


    ^^^^ This!!
  • JoniBologna
    JoniBologna Posts: 653 Member
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    If you find yourself with a lack of control with food and binging on junk...there is a good chance you aren't eating enough in general. If your calorie amount is too restrictive, it is only normal that you will find yourself wanting to eat. I find that when I eat plenty of healthy foods I am not as likely to binge or crave unhealthy stuff.
  • lorforde
    lorforde Posts: 68 Member
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    It's been 55 days since joining MFP. I had been doing really well. Logging all of my food. Walking and getting exercise. About 14 days ago I started 30 Day Shred. The first 10 days I did very well. I noticed that my stomach was shrinking and I was feeling very good about myself. (I have about 80lbs to lose) I can even wear a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since I was pregnant almost 6 years ago. I was so proud of myself. (I also said I wouldn't weigh myself until I was finished 30ds) The workout was hard on my kness but I sucked it up. The I got into level 2 and after day 1 I knew I was in trouble. My kness were really hurting me. Instead of doing the low inpact way I just sort of trudged along for another day. Then I waited just over 24 hours before doing another. Then I just flat out skipped a day. During all of this I starting eating really poorly. I have good healthy food in the house but keep making poor choices. I don't know what is driving me to do this. I got on the scale today even though I said I wouldn't and I'm up 2 lbs. I get why I'm up 2 lbs. Just because I'm not eating over my calories I am eating junk. I feel like I'm just giving up on myself and I don't want to but it's like I can't control what I'm shoveling in my mouth. This morning I atr FRUITY PEBBLES!!!!!!! TWO BOWLS and I don't even like them!
    Any input?
    I am asking myself the very same question...its like the closer I get to my goal the worse I seem to be sabotaging myself. This month has been a complete write-off!!!
  • holleysings
    holleysings Posts: 664 Member
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    Your body does not like change. It wants to keep the weight on in case of a famine, so it is trying to sabotage you into returning to your old diet. Our bodies were built to hold onto weight so we would have reserves when food was scarce. You just have to fight back and say no we have grocery stores and lots of food available all the time! Stop and check your motives before you put something in your mouth. Change is hard, but you will get through it! Don't be so hard on yourself. Focus on how not to make the bad choice the next time.
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    You have made the first step in getting back on track. you KNOW you are doing it! I do it CONSTANTLY!!! Like this week, I am not able to go to my Zumba class because I am trying to prepare for my Husband's Birthday Party on Saturday but, I am not eating the greatest either.

    It is just something we do to ourselves! Sometimes I wonder how I even keep moving for Zumba because, eventhough I am nto doing much, I feel like I am ready to pass out by 8:00 this week.

    We need to just take a deep breath and get back on track. Try to start the 30 Day Shred all over again. you know what the first week is and now, you could maybe do the lower impact version to take some pressure off the knees. That, or maybe try something else, if that is too much on the knees. The big thing is doing something you like and enjoy and doesnt seem like a workout as much. (In my opinion anyway).

    I have about 50 lbs to lose and once I get on track and on a schedule I should be ok but, getting there is hard! WE CAN DO IT!!! Just dont give up completely ebcause then you are really sabatoging youself! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    we all do this. I know I have. Every time I have a set back, I have a mega mental setback. all you can do is keep on trucking. Dust off your fanny and hop back on.
  • ImaKnitter67
    ImaKnitter67 Posts: 42
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    Weight loss is 80% what you're eating. You know the correct number of calories to eat in order to lose, and you DID eat properly when you were enjoying your fitness plan. There's a way to keep enjoying it. You can give your knees a break for as long as it takes for them to recover. You can do your exercise the easy way, even in a chair or in the swimming pool. The pain in your knees has robbed you of your exercise high, dang it. But when you can go back to getting your exercise, you can bring back the happy and enjoy your eating plan again. Just start over. :wink:
  • karencogs
    karencogs Posts: 50 Member
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    Hi Melissa..my name is Karen..That is wonderful you lost 15 lbs..I know if I started the morning with carbs or sugar..it sets me off for the day. I have to eat protein in the morning..and stay away from sugar and carbs..I gained 50 lbs since 2006..I am 60 yrs old..a young 60..My husband has been battling cancer since 2004 and my Mom lived with me for 13 years..she died here at home..I took care of her..that was 2007..I never gained this much weight ..only when I had my 3 children..always a size 10..I am lost and very depressed..I lose a few and gain it right back..What to do???
  • karencogs
    karencogs Posts: 50 Member
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    It's been 55 days since joining MFP. I had been doing really well. Logging all of my food. Walking and getting exercise. About 14 days ago I started 30 Day Shred. The first 10 days I did very well. I noticed that my stomach was shrinking and I was feeling very good about myself. (I have about 80lbs to lose) I can even wear a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since I was pregnant almost 6 years ago. I was so proud of myself. (I also said I wouldn't weigh myself until I was finished 30ds) The workout was hard on my kness but I sucked it up. The I got into level 2 and after day 1 I knew I was in trouble. My kness were really hurting me. Instead of doing the low inpact way I just sort of trudged along for another day. Then I waited just over 24 hours before doing another. Then I just flat out skipped a day. During all of this I starting eating really poorly. I have good healthy food in the house but keep making poor choices. I don't know what is driving me to do this. I got on the scale today even though I said I wouldn't and I'm up 2 lbs. I get why I'm up 2 lbs. Just because I'm not eating over my calories I am eating junk. I feel like I'm just giving up on myself and I don't want to but it's like I can't control what I'm shoveling in my mouth. This morning I atr FRUITY PEBBLES!!!!!!! TWO BOWLS and I don't even like them!
    Any input?
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
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    yall are giving very good advice
  • likeschocolate
    likeschocolate Posts: 368 Member
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    You've done great so far.

    If you're in that kind of pain -- your body is telling you to go slow. Don't be too hard on yourself -- none of us are 18 anymore.

    You can give your body some time to rest & recuperate... perhaps do something different, something light & fun that engages you.
  • thinclo
    thinclo Posts: 164 Member
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    I do this too :( sometimes its like defiance to myself (weird I know) :/ It important though that you say ok, tommorow/next week/this afternoon whatever I am going to stop this and pick myself back up! this way although it might take a lil longer to reach your goal you WILL get there in the end! good luck :)
  • almostfortysix
    almostfortysix Posts: 69
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    Wow! Thanks everyone for the great advice. I think I may go back to level 1 for another week. Six years of doing next to nothing has really taken a toll on me and I guess I can't expect to "just be able to do this" overnight.
    Thanks for being supportive.
    I love friends-please feel free to add me and I will help support you too.
  • amymimi12
    amymimi12 Posts: 51 Member
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    It sounds like you're doing amazingly well, and you just have to cut yourself some slack. I recently had the same problem and essentially wrote off the last month. But today is a new day and we get to start fresh!

    And BTW, according to Jillian Michaels, the 30DS does NOT have to be done in 30 consecutive days. She always recommends taking at least one rest day per week, and training different muscles a day or two a week. So don't beat yourself up, just listen to your body and try trading off the 30DS with a yoga video or walking or something that is easier on the knees.

    And to pass on a little nugget from a therapist friend of mine... when I asked her why I keep sabotaging myself and overeating or stopping exercise, she told me to think about WHY I AM AFRAID TO SUCCEED. We all know the fear of failure, but we're also really good at keeping ourselves in that familiar place. I'm still working on coming up with an answer, but it might help to think about it. The "why" I want to lose weight is different than the "why" I'm afraid to actually do it. Good luck! Here's hoping we can all keep moving forward!!
  • baristanatorLL
    baristanatorLL Posts: 34 Member
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    Think of this as a lifestyle change---a long term goal. Just because you mess up a little in the short-term it doesn't mean you have to call it quits. I am a perfectionist, so I fall into this trap a lot. If I can't do it perfectly, I don't want to do it at all. I get discouraged and lose faith in myself and my ability to persevere. A year from now, a few days of weakness won't matter. Just dust yourself off, get back up, and get back on that wagon!
  • karendsmith
    karendsmith Posts: 167
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    I agree with all the other posts. We are human and the road can and does get rocky...so definately pick yourself back up. Change is not easy as we have/are all finding out but it is worth the rewards to stick it out. Don't give up on YOU! Definately, find some exercise that doesn't hurt your knees. There are plenty of things you can do and get just as much calorie burn without causing damage to your knees, etc. Lets see, if you don't go to the gym, you could do some old fashion hula hooping, walking with hand weights, all your core exercises and arms, floor exercises for you legs and butt, cardio kick boxing (that really isn't too hard on the knees) swimming (if you have a place to go) , yoga, dancing. Just trying to think of some alternative ideas to help you. Or you could modify the exercises on the video when they go to the ones that hurt your knees and still do the rest of them. We are here for you and believe me, I have plenty of the days where I go through the same frustrations and it's hard. Try to remind yourself of why you want to be here, like: you have goals to reach, you will feel better, more confident, stronger, your clothes will fit better, you will like what you see in the mirror, you dont want to throw away all your progress and hard work you have already put out there. Keep your chin up and just keep moving! When you feel the urge to eat bad, get away from the kitchen and take your mind off of it and remind yourself of the positive thinking and the benefits you will gain. I continuously have to remind myself, everyday!

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