No Open Diary

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Replies

  • WalkingGirl1985
    WalkingGirl1985 Posts: 2,046 Member
    I have my diary open to my friends. I'm the type of gal the eats in Moderation that still eats pizzas, fried food, chinese, cakes, and cookies occasionally..still lost 70lbs and also from a doctors POV from my "health" numbers have still improved. Sometimes certain things work with different people and what works for them.
  • chachadiva150
    chachadiva150 Posts: 453 Member
    "Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list. "

    Lol - don't get me wrong because I LOVE MY MFP peeps. But this is the internet buddy. 99.9% of us are strangers. The chances of most of us ever meeting people on our friends list in person is slim. 'True Friends' is quite the expectation.
    Thank you for recognizing the truth. While MFP uses the word "friend" we are strangers to each other.

    People don't care one bit if someone deletes them as a "friend."
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    BOOOO HISSSSS AND BUNCHES OF ANGER!!!
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    I sometimes look at people's diaries if I'm looking for ideas of things I might could eat and stay within my calorie range... Things that I may not have thought of, or may not have ever tried... but I don't critique anyone, and even though mine is open.. I don't want a critique of mine.

    I'm not on here so that everyone else can tell me what THEY think I should be eating.. I'm doing this for myself..
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
    For you, that's great. You should realize that not everyone thinks the way you do.
    We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.
    I don't need a group of internet friends to hold me accountable. I am accountable to myself because I'm a grownup.
    I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.
    That's your choice. Delete all of your friends who have closed their diaries.
    You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.
    Who asked you to suggest healthier options? Obviously the people who closed their diaries do NOT want your suggestions. If my friends started telling what I should and shouldn't eat, I would delete them.
    Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.
    Dude. It's the internet. How many "true friends" have you made here since you joined in January?
  • jlbay
    jlbay Posts: 473 Member
    Pfft. With the variety of advice on "nutrition" here (from cayenne pepper cleanses to shakes to clean to no carb to no fat to pizza to starvation to eat more to....) - who's opinion would I listen to anyway? The only person I let analyze my food diary is my dietician or doctor.

    People always get so bent on here when they see a closed diary. It isn't about "hiding" and it isn't about "accountability" for everyone. For some it is simply a great tool to log their food. I'm not 12 - I don't need someone criticizing my food intake.

    Plus, do you know my history? My allergies? My illnesses? My digestion? My history with eating disorders? Etc.? It has taken years to get "right" with food and I'm not comfortable having people comment on what I eat.

    I honestly don't get why anyone would open their diary on here. I mean, are you a nutrition expert?

    People on here get so weird about these things - like they can only support people who do things the way THEY think it should be done. I personally don't have time to try to control how others do stuff. I wouldn't want the responsibility, either. I just offer help and advice to friends as they need/ask. They are the ones responsible for themselves in the end. As am I.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.


    I'm not concerned. I don't accept people like you on my friends list to begin with.
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    I keep my diary locked because having battled with eating disorders, the stress was causing me a lot of problems, so I locked it. There are a few people who can see it and know how I am doing, to keep me going in the right direction. But, if a person is THAT disturbed that I am not emotionally in a place where I can let the whole world see what I ate in a day, I really would LOVE for them to delete me.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Do whatever you want, I trust my friends to do what they need. They are adults and I don't have to babysit their diet choices.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    mind your own weight loss and let others do as they wish. work great for me
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Excuse me while I vent.........
    Excuse me while I vent on your vent. :drinker:

    a7261148.gif
  • ashleymarie0104
    ashleymarie0104 Posts: 20 Member
    I totally agree with you!!!!!!! Thank you for setting the person who created this thread straight!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I don't have mine open to anyone, I'm accountable for myself. If I feel like I need some input, as in I'm struggling and can't see where I'm going wrong- then I will give someone the password and they can help me out.
    Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.

    I agree. I log in my food daily to get a handle on what the problem with my weight has been all along. I read other posts and if it's good advice or makes sense in my life - okay. I am proud of myself for logging in my food and actually watching my calories, carbs and fat daily. THAT is how I will be successful. Only I can change myself.....
  • CarriLu123
    CarriLu123 Posts: 82 Member
    This subject has been discussed a lot before and for addition insight on the pro's and con's of this you can use the search function.

    For me personally - I am an adult and I'm accountable to myself. What I choose to eat is my business.

    Also there are many people on here that suffer from ED, celiac disease, food allergies, diabetes and have restricted diets. They prefer to keep their diaries private to avoid unsolicited advice from people not knowing their medical background.

    It's a personal choice - I feel there is no right or wrong. If you are comfortable with it open then go for it. But please respect other people's decision to keep theirs private.


    This... If you don't want to support those who don't open their lives to you then don't. Simple really.
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    Dude, I've referred about six real world friends to this site and then refused to tell them my username. I don't give a **** if MFP friends see my diary. I absofreakingloutely don't want people that I see in the real world to know every time I eat a cookie.

    I... I guess this means I have no true friends! :sad:
  • chelleann777
    chelleann777 Posts: 94 Member
    Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.

    I agree with this. Also not everyone uses MFP the same way. It is a tool to use how you see fit. I don't usually log my food here because I keep track of it in a notebook, and it just feels like more work to do that again on MFP. I use it to look up calories of foods, exercises, recipes and new info in the forums. So to each his own; if thats what you look for in a friend- great. Its not what I look for...
  • dArtagnia
    dArtagnia Posts: 26 Member
    Personally, I am not on here for accountability, I am on here for myself and if I get added support that's awesome. Not only that, but I have dietary restrictions. Much of the time my diary says Pizza or Pasta with Cheese... I live on carbs and cheese. No one here would think that is good for you. If I stuck to fruits and Veggies, Id have to eat twice as much because Id be throwing up all my food. Calorie counting is great for me, because I can rearrange what I can eat to fit in my day. If my diary were open, I was under my calories (portion control is my goal) and someone were to comment that I was failing or that I am not working hard or doing this right. I would be upset and quit. I would also probably eat... a lot. I don't believe in telling someone what they can and cant eat, how much? Maybe. What? No. It took me 12 years to figure out what my body would accept, I'm not changing it now.
  • Bevigal
    Bevigal Posts: 66 Member
    Bottom line...its each persons own business whether or not they choose to open up. Regardless I am always supportive. Mine is not open. I have been hacked several times and its been a nightmare. Call me cautious.
  • celticmuse
    celticmuse Posts: 492 Member
    My diary is open to my friends, primarily to share ideas for meals and snacks. I am not interested in unsolicited advice regarding my food choices. I am quite capable of understanding when I had a good day, and when I overindulged. I do not need to be reminded, or worst yet, reprimanded.

    I do wonder why some people are offended by closed diaries. I also what kind of person has time to spend trawling through the food diaries of strangers. I would say that person has too much time on his or her hands....maybe they should consider community service or a new hobby...
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I keep mine open because I don't really care what other people think about what I'm eating, but I have some friends on here who are also gluten free so it's nice to have other diaries to pull ideas from . . . and I know that they'll sometimes stalk mine to see what's going on in there.

    I've thought about removing friends with closed diaries because I'd like to support them on all aspects of their journey, but then I decided that I actually like them despite their food/exercise/sexual proclivities . . . I realize this is a foreign concept for some.

    That being said, I don't do a generic post anyway. If I post on someone's diary it's either "send me the recipe" or if they ask for advice. I only give unsolicited advice to people I know very well outside of mfp, and in particular if I'm familiar with their goals and I think their average routine is going to prevent them from getting there.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Why do you care again? How does this affect YOUR fitness goals?
  • wiltl
    wiltl Posts: 188 Member
    I've been on the site for almost four months now, and this will be my first post. My diary and profile are private because I had to come to the realization that this is a journey for ME and the only person I am accountable to is ME. As my BFF reminded me, "this is for LIFE".

    This is something that I have to do for the rest of my life, and no one else can/will/should do it for me. I have to figure out what works best for me, what choices that may be better than others and how I can still enjoy the "bad stuff" once in a while. Someone on the internet that doesn't know me, my background or my quirks trying to offer what they feel is the best advice would do nothing more than stress me out. That said, I get and support that others find success when they are totally open and need the accountability offered here. Its up to each of us, I think.

    I have learned a lot by reading through forum postings and am thankful for all of the helpful information that others have posted and the experiences shared.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    I keep mine closed to piss people off.

    HOW'S IT WORKIN' FOR YA???

    muahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


    Seriously, though, it's no one else's business if I want to have a six pack of beer and a pizza for my daily food.............it's about what I'm doing and what is working (or not working) for me. I know what healthy choices are - I just don't always make them. If I want help with my nutritional needs, I'll talk to my dietician. Otherwise - to each his/her own, and life goes on.

    I love MFP.................... it's done wonders for me, even WITH a closed diary!!!

    so there :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    What makes you think I need your opinion on what I eat?

    How are you more qualified than I am in deciding how I fuel my body?

    ETA: OP needs to wash the sand out of her vag. or a nice falcon punch.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I keep mine open because I don't really care what other people think about what I'm eating, but I have some friends on here who are also gluten free so it's nice to have other diaries to pull ideas from . . . and I know that they'll sometimes stalk mine to see what's going on in there.

    I've thought about removing friends with closed diaries because I'd like to support them on all aspects of their journey, but then I decided that I actually like them despite their food/exercise/sexual proclivities . . . I realize this is a foreign concept for some.

    That being said, I don't do a generic post anyway. If I post on someone's diary it's either "send me the recipe" or if they ask for advice. I only give unsolicited advice to people I know very well outside of mfp, and in particular if I'm familiar with their goals and I think their average routine is going to prevent them from getting there.

    That's all, like, reasonable and stuff.
  • AlyRoseNYC
    AlyRoseNYC Posts: 1,075 Member
    For me, MFP is not about accountability. It's about logging calories and taking advantage of an excellent food date base. I am part of an accountability group on Facebook with people I actually know in real life. THAT is true accountability IMO. If I were to just delete my MFP account today, none of my friends on here would be able to call me out. How is that accountability?
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
    Here's why I have my diary closed.

    I used to have it open. I wasn't good about waiting until the end of the day to click "complete this entry", so I would (and still do!) sometimes click it after I've logged just my breakfast and my lunch.

    Of course, I'd go back in after dinner (or even the next day) and finish logging, but the message pops up on your feed as soon as you click it for the first time, so if people were to view it then it would look like I only ate like 600 calories for the day (I eat 2 afternoon/evening meals which bumps me to like 1400-1800, depending on my exercise that day).

    Then I'd get people (people on my friends list, and people not on my friends list) who would send the most ridiculous PMs about how I was starving myself and how they were going to report me and how I was setting a bad example for other people on the site and how "my kind" weren't welcome here.

    Because I clicked a button at the wrong time.

    So I made my diary private. I'm not hiding anything. I don't care if other people know what I eat. But I sure as hell don't want people harassing me because they think they know more about myself and my eating habits than I do.



    That’s my reason. But honestly, it’s not really anyone’s business. If you want someone to help critique (in a constructive way!) your diet, you open your diary. If you want others to help you be accountable for what you eat, you can open your diary. If you're just using it for your own tracking purposes, you don't have do.

    I don’t understand why so many people get angry when they can’t read other people’s food diaries. It doesn’t impact your ability to use the site or be healthy. If you don’t want to friend people with closed diaries, don’t friend them. But there’s zero reason for you to complain.
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 616 Member
    who let you out of your corner today, OP? get back in there...
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    I keep my diary locked because having battled with eating disorders, the stress was causing me a lot of problems, so I locked it. There are a few people who can see it and know how I am doing, to keep me going in the right direction. But, if a person is THAT disturbed that I am not emotionally in a place where I can let the whole world see what I ate in a day, I really would LOVE for them to delete me.
    See that? One of my friends. Of course she is totally awesome....probably why she is my friend. She logs as she sees fit. Don't care if I can see what she eats. And when she is doing awesome, she probably doesn't really need me (as much as I might like to think I am the center of the universe. )
    But I can cheer on the NSV's, encourage her when she feels down or doesn't want to exercise, and be amused when she is fall down drunk.

    I don't see the down side of not seeing the diary.

    grammar edit
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    I keep my diary locked because having battled with eating disorders, the stress was causing me a lot of problems, so I locked it. There are a few people who can see it and know how I am doing, to keep me going in the right direction. But, if a person is THAT disturbed that I am not emotionally in a place where I can let the whole world see what I ate in a day, I really would LOVE for them to delete me.
    See that? One of my friends. Of course she is totally awesome....probably why she is my friend. She logs as she sees fit. Don't care if I can see what she eats. And when she is doing awesome, she probably doesn't really need me (as much as I might like to think I am the center of the universe. )
    But I can cheer on the NSV's, encourage her when she feels down or doesn't want to exercise, and be amused when she is fall down drunk.

    I don't see the down side of not seeing the diary.

    grammar edit


    The drunk posts are why most people keep me. :tongue:

    That is my point. I still look at certain peoples diaries. People that I KNOW are doing it right, to give me ideas and incentive. But the support I get in OTHER areas really means more to me than someone telling me what to eat. People have done that my whole life and it assisted with my downfall. Knowing that there are people I can talk to, and really, be MORE open with because I dont personally know them, makes a huge difference for me. We are all here for different reasons, and different things keep us all going.