How come no one ever thinks they're the BAD one?

I read an article about this on Cracked. There's science behind this, man.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think_p2.html

I can't ever read anything on Cracked! Why is this?

"Here's a good way to ruin your afternoon. Go on the Internet and find any discussion thread that brings up overweight people (like this or this one). Stand back and watch as a crowd absolutely rants about how incredibly easy it is to lose weight, and how incredibly lazy you have to be to get fat. The conclusion will be that being fat is literally a moral failing and the sign of a bad, disgusting human being. It's to the point of actual anger and violence directed toward the overweight in real life -- the fat are one of the last groups people can openly hate.

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In at least four states, we can legally hunt this man.

But now take any of those people and try using the same logic with their weaknesses:

"You're struggling to get by on your income? I can't imagine how lazy a person would have to be to not be wealthy. Just go out there and make money! Duh!"

"You don't have a girlfriend? I can't imagine how much of an antisocial **** you have to be to not get a beautiful woman to love you. How hard is it to get off your *kitten* and be a dynamic, sexy, personable human being?"

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"Seriously dude, just stop having a micropenis."

"You drink alcohol? Or smoke cigarettes? Or smoke pot? Why don't you try not doing those things?"

"You suffer from depression or anxiety? Uh, have you tried not?"

Now watch as they rattle off ten thousand extenuating circumstances for their embarrassing problem (the economy is bad, women are *****es, I have an addiction) while completely rejecting all of the similar causes of obesity.

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"My compulsive, life-shortening habit is completely different from overeating. Namely, it's much sexier."

The Science:

It's called the fundamental attribution error.

It's a universal thought process that says when other people screw up, it's because they're stupid or evil. But when we screw up, it's totally circumstantial. Like if you notice a coworker showing up to work high on mescaline, it's because he's an out-of-control peyote hound. But if you show up at work high on mescaline, it's because you had a flat tire and you needed the distraction.

The process feels so obvious when explained -- we simply lack information about the context in which the other person screwed up, and so we fill it in with our own. If we've never been fat, then we assume the fat guy feels the exact same level of hunger as we do, that his metabolism is the same, that his upbringing is the same, that the spare time and energy he can devote to exercise is the same as ours. We think that both of us faced the exact same fork in the road and only one of us chose to eat churros.

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About 40 of these a week for two years are all that separate you from that guy who had to be airlifted out of his living room.

The reality is, of course, that you were on completely different roads. The assumption that everyone's circumstances are identical is so plainly wrong as to be borderline insane, but everyone does it. Pundits and politicians alike mock the unemployed as lazy, even though their own data shows that for every five unemployed people, there is only one open job. "I don't understand, can't you all just become radio talk show hosts like me?"

So During Your Next Argument, Remember ...

Forget about talking politics with your crazy shop teacher for a second. If you're consistently doing this when arguing with your significant other, that's a good sign that the relationship is dying. Listen for it -- when you forgot to do the dishes, it was because you had a thousand other things on your mind. When she forgot, it's because she doesn't care. If you find yourself automatically dismissing your partner's explanations as "excuses," you've gone to a bad place from which most relationships do not return."

Im an awful person.

if anyone can ever say "I did NOTHING wrong" with a straight face at the end of a relationship, they deserve an award, because there is almost NO way a break up/split/divorce is 100% any one person's fault. It's just as much about the reaction as it is the action. This is not to say one person can't be more to blame, but certainly cannot be the only to blame. I've certainly had my fairshare of screw-ups and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come.

I can say it with a straight face.


On a completely unrelated note, I'm damned good at lying through my teeth.

How come no one ever thinks they're one of the bad ones?

Everyone ELSE is always "lazy" or "stupid" or "selfish" or "mean" or "wrong" or "hurtful" or whatever else. So, tell me...why aren't YOU ever the one who effed up? Or continuously effs up?

"Most people" claim that "most people" are ___insert negative adjective here___ and assume a position of superiority. I've never heard someone say, "Hey, my boyfriend and I broke up. Why? Because I'm a lazy, immature dirtbag who doesn't give a *kitten* about other people. Also, I'm a big-time moron. We're talking SUPER dumb."

I'm willing to bet that most people who think they're in the right, be it in personal or professional matters, are as much a part of the problem as, or more than, the person they're vilifying when they retell the story to their pitchfork and torch-weilding bandwagoneer friends.

I've certainly grown a lot in the last decade (I'm 27...so that sort of makes sense) but there have been plenty of times where I was the jack@ss in the equation. I'm sure there will be times like that in the future, even.

So...tell me, MFPals...when were YOU the bad guy?

I'm the opposite. I blame myself for everything.

I read an article about this on Cracked. There's science behind this, man.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think_p2.html