No Open Diary

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Replies

  • charanne52
    charanne52 Posts: 88 Member
    I don't bother commenting on or complimenting anyone who doesn't leave their diary open because I have enough MFP friends that do and they take up enough of my time. My diary is open to my friends here on MFP but I have stopped posting my daily results mainly because I don't want people feeling obligated to comment on "how well I am eating" etc. I like to keep my diary open to give my friends meal ideas and I like to see their diaries for the same reason. I feel the main purpose of my diary is for me to keep track on what goes into my mouth and while I have no problem listening to suggestions I am pretty knowledgable about nutrition so I don't need any advice in that regard.
  • Lissakaye81
    Lissakaye81 Posts: 224 Member
    I keep mine open cause I am a pretty open person. I love to cook and try new foods so I like to be able to check out other people's diaries for ideas. I also love when other peoples diaries are open when they have lost a lot of weight. I like to see what has worked for them. I also like to eat unhealthy tidbits from time to time, and sometime my cals are all over the place or I forget to log water, but I have some of the greatest supportive friends you can get on here, and have gotten great "unsolicited" suggestions. The only time I give any advice is if someone eats way under for really long periods, or hasn't ate anything fresh for a long time. If I see a friend has been binging for a while I'll PM them to see if they want to chat cause I do care, and sometimes just knowing a random "intenet friend" cares is enough to cheer someone up.
  • fashionista954
    fashionista954 Posts: 98 Member
    I don't have mine open to anyone, I'm accountable for myself. If I feel like I need some input, as in I'm struggling and can't see where I'm going wrong- then I will give someone the password and they can help me out.
    Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.


    Very good point!
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I don't use MFP to "stay accountable." I don't have to justify what I'm doing to you or anyone else. I know damn well what I'm doing and I don't need nosy people judging me for it. I log my food to keep track of what I'm doing and get nutritional information, not because I need the food police to tell me what I'm doing wrong.

    And for the record, I'm not hiding anything. I have a very healthy diet, but take a quick look around the site and you'll find all sorts of crazy ideas and judgmental comments on perfectly healthy lifestyles. I just don't want to deal with it.
  • juliekat1955
    juliekat1955 Posts: 67 Member
    I choose to let my diary be open, to me it isn't anything that I need to keep secret. Some days I eat very well and occasionaly I have a day that's a train wreck! I'm human. Wish I was perfect but then I wouldn't be here.... :Ü
  • TheReese1206
    TheReese1206 Posts: 238
    This. I just changed mine to private as well. Why? Because. It's for me. Not others. I eat healthy and hold myself accountable. If someone chooses to unfriendly me because of that....so be it.
    Oh, and I don't really care if someone chooses to share their diary or not. That's their choice and I respect it....and I honestly have more important things to worry about.
  • 2fit4fat
    2fit4fat Posts: 559 Member

    For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
    We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.

    I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.

    WOW glad we arent "friends" to me this is a good place to get a support system and that doesnt just come in the form of people telling me what THEY think i should and shouldnt be eating. I hold myself accountable. I just ate a donut.. i logged it. its for ME to see. if others want to share i have no problem with it but quite frankly i dont know if they are nursing, have gluten problems, lactose problems other problems so they eat more or less carbs or protein that i think is appropriate. i am learning to eat things i like in moderation. some people might cut them out completely, but i dont want that in my life.

    all in all i am here to help support me (and now my awesome MFP friends i have found) BUT i am not here to be their babysitter or tell them they are wrong when they eat something i wouldnt eat. i dont eat fish.. sue me. i dont tell my friends that do not to eat it. same with fried foods, if they stay in their cals i say way to go! if they work out AWESOME!

    MFP was not meant for people to judge others. its here for a support system. if you think the only way to support someone is by looking at their diary and telling them they should eat this and not that then you have a LOT to learn.


    PS for a whole year on here i didnt even know you could open the stupid diary ever think some people dont even know that?! man some people
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
    Excuse me while I vent.........

    Why is it that people make positive comments under people who refuse to open up their diary?
    They say things like great job logging today, how do they know????

    For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
    We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.

    I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.

    You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.

    Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.

    That may seem harsh but I'm here to be supportive. I have far too many friends who will let me to waste my time on someone who's unwilling to open up.

    Ok I'm done, let the firestorm begin. Be gentle (LOL)
    I ask the exact same thing. How can you say "great job" on something you can't see? Now that said, there are some that are password protected and if you know the password, can look then comment. So, maybe that is what they are doing.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    I cannot support people who do not track their bowel movements on MyPoopingPal. I mean, really, if you won't tell me how many times you pood today and how long each was (in minutes and inches), I don't think we should be friends. I mean, if you don't even weigh it with a food scale, how can you be accurate??! Do YOU trust people who might not be pooing properly?!
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    I cannot support people who do not track their bowel movements on MyPoopingPal. I mean, really, if you won't tell me how many times you pood today and how long each was (in minutes and inches), I don't think we should be friends. I mean, if you don't even weigh it with a food scale, how can you be accurate??! Do YOU trust people who might not be pooing properly?!

    I think I'll change one of my meal names to 'Hitting the crapper'. Although, technically they would all be named that eventually.....
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    I cannot support people who do not track their bowel movements on MyPoopingPal. I mean, really, if you won't tell me how many times you pood today and how long each was (in minutes and inches), I don't think we should be friends. I mean, if you don't even weigh it with a food scale, how can you be accurate??! Do YOU trust people who might not be pooing properly?!

    THAT made me lol.........

    good job!!!

    mypoopingpal..............tee hee......................:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • LivingHealthyLovingLife
    LivingHealthyLovingLife Posts: 56
    Most of you have valid points so let's switch gears.

    A lot of us got the way were (are) by not having a clue what to eat, if people allow us to see their diary it gives us the opportunity to see what other people are eating so that we can try those healthy foods ourselves.

    The open diary thing isn't so much about wanting to tell people what they can and can not eat but it's a way of showing we care. An example would be, I can't count the number of people I see who's eating unhealthy (low) amounts of calories so what is so wrong with me caring enough to let them know. People need encouragement from time to time.

    The bottom line is that if people don't like the kind of MFP friend I am, they always have the option to delete me and guess what, only one person has done that.

    I'm not a bad person for caring, we need more of that in this world. John 3:16 :bigsmile:
  • MelMena
    MelMena Posts: 152 Member
    There is nothing wrong with you caring...just as there is nothing wrong with others not caring about what you have to say.
  • mheightchew
    mheightchew Posts: 334
    I work in a prison and cant take anything in or out of he building. Cant use the Internet for personal use either. So I don't journal any of my food in here. I keep a very detailed journal the old fashioned way, in a notebook. I'm not trying to hide anything, I just want to keep it a habit. I'm not going to post my food accurately if I'm trying to remember what I ate or how much of it.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    What works for some doesn't mean it will work for you or anyone else for that matter.. I personally do not need anyone's approval or suggestion. (May sound harsh but just being honest) I have lost over 300 lbs. with diet and exercise so I am pretty sure I have a firm grasp on what it is that works for me. That being said if you P.M. me with questions I will respond in kind and offer advice if you want it. I am in the eat more to lose weight group so I am currently consuming well over 3200 calories a day and still losing 1/2 to 1lb. a week and like I said for most looking at my diary would probably not benefit to many and personally for me I just make the choice to keep that part private for me. Doesn't mean I am sabotaging myself or anyone else for that matter... I got a firm grip on my lifestyle and nothing against you or anyone else but it is just my choice to have it closed.... Best of Luck to you.....
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    I work in a prison and cant take anything in or out of he building. Cant use the Internet for personal use either. So I don't journal any of my food in here. I keep a very detailed journal the old fashioned way, in a notebook. I'm not trying to hide anything, I just want to keep it a habit. I'm not going to post my food accurately if I'm trying to remember what I ate or how much of it.

    Like!! Yeah this is me too.... I actually still log in my handheld journals and now also log on MFP through my phone... Can't seem to break away from the journal's... they have been a part of this journey longer than me logging on MFP and will be for years to come... Great Job of the Weight loss too!!
  • acg1305
    acg1305 Posts: 224 Member
    Why would I want some stranger having a creep on what I've eaten? It is nobody's business but myself, and ultimately the only person you need to be accountable to is yourself.
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    This subject has been discussed a lot before and for addition insight on the pro's and con's of this you can use the search function.

    For me personally - I am an adult and I'm accountable to myself. What I choose to eat is my business.

    Also there are many people on here that suffer from ED, celiac disease, food allergies, diabetes and have restricted diets. They prefer to keep their diaries private to avoid unsolicited advice from people not knowing their medical background.

    It's a personal choice - I feel there is no right or wrong. If you are comfortable with it open then go for it. But please respect other people's decision to keep theirs private.

    ^^ That.

    I don't want or need unsolicited advice and that is why I keep mine private. I was here once before and had my diary open and all I got was constant "You're doing it wrong" despite mine being Doctor monitored (I printed my diary out and took it to every Dr. appt.). Finally I deleted the account and just left. If that is the only reason that you aren't being someone's "friend" here well it's your loss.
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
    I refuse to comment on a closed diary, same with if someone with a closed diary asks a question about their "diet" I will not even acknowledge it. You can't help or support if you can't see it!

    Exactly.

    My diary is closed because I do not want or need help with my nutrition. If that changes, I will open it.

    This is perfect. My WOE is very controversial to many and I choose not to be ridiculed or harangued by those who simply have a difference of opinion. Including my brother, by the way, who is on this site and is convinced I'm slowly killing myself with whole eggs and butter. This diet is clearly working for me and the only two people that matter where this is concerned is ME and MY DOC. If my low carb buddies want to see my diary, all they have to do is ask and I provide the password. If they don't like that they have to ask, they can move on.

    That said, I do find it odd every time someone comments that I've completed my diary under calorie goal and I know they can't see what I ate!
  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
    I don't have mine open to anyone, I'm accountable for myself. If I feel like I need some input, as in I'm struggling and can't see where I'm going wrong- then I will give someone the password and they can help me out.
    Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.

    ^ I couldn't have put this better myself. If I want to eat mcdonalds every day but stay within my calories, that's my business and I don't ask anyone to help me out because only I know what I want to eat when I'm hungry. It's all well and good being advised to try tuna on oatcakes but if I don't like it or fancy it at the time, I'm not going to take the advice anyway. My diary is open to my friends and I may look at their diary to get ideas that I may not have thought of before, but I don't comment on them or expect anyone to comment on mine. If I do eat crap one day and go over, I either exercise my *kitten* off and carry on, or I write off that day knowing that 99.9% of the time my diet is good and I'm entitled to a day off to treat myself without remorse occasionally. I hold myself accountable because I'm losing weight for ME, not for anyone else, so if I do decide to slack off for a bit, it's my busines, my problem, and I'm the one who has to suffer the consequence of putting weight back on and having to work that much harder and longer to get it off.
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
    People have different goals and different reasons for using this site. Personally, I log my food to help me keep track of how many calories and how much sodium I consume, and I don't really give a rat's a** what anyone else thinks of it. Therefore my diary is closed. I have a small group of friends with similar goals who help keep me motivated. We cheer each other's little victories, no matter what they might be or what methods we use to achieve them. We don't need to be judged in order to reach our goals.
  • kazhowe
    kazhowe Posts: 340 Member
    It is true that it is individual choice whether or not to make your diary available for others to view - mine is because I have no problem at all with anybody seeing what I eat. I log everything. If I should have a problem then it is easier to get some constructive advice if people know what I consume. I like to make some positive, constructive and encouraging comment on each of my friends days ... but I am with the OP on this.... I refuse to say to someone 'well done' or such things when I don't know how many calories they have eaten - maybe it is only 3-400 as some do, or maybe they have eaten 5 cupcakes in their day and nothing else - how can I commend them for that? So if there is no diary to view then I restrict my comments to something like 'I hope it was a good healthy day for you' - that way I feel that I am giving them some constructive support without condoning unhealthy eating practices.
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    Even while eating well and exercising, I don't show my diary (it's open but it doesn't pop up on my news feed when my day is done).

    People have too many conflicting views and I really don't need all that pressure, lol. If I decided to have a slice of pizza (which I rarely do), if I've been good all week, what's the benefit of having everyone point it out?

    I'm very honest with my friends, and if I had a bad eating day I would tell them that... Doesn't mean I need them scrutinizing my every move.
  • NK203
    NK203 Posts: 35
    I cannot support people who do not track their bowel movements on MyPoopingPal. I mean, really, if you won't tell me how many times you pood today and how long each was (in minutes and inches), I don't think we should be friends. I mean, if you don't even weigh it with a food scale, how can you be accurate??! Do YOU trust people who might not be pooing properly?!

    Thank you for a great laugh! Awesome.
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
    I cannot support people who do not track their bowel movements on MyPoopingPal. I mean, really, if you won't tell me how many times you pood today and how long each was (in minutes and inches), I don't think we should be friends. I mean, if you don't even weigh it with a food scale, how can you be accurate??! Do YOU trust people who might not be pooing properly?!

    Thank you for a great laugh! Awesome.

    Bwahahahahaha!
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    That being said, I don't comment on the whole "So and so was under their calorie goal"... I don't know what's going on with them or if they are WAY under their goal and being unhealthy... I comment on their updates, workouts and weigh-ins...

    Seeing people cheer someone on for being under is a big pet peeve of mine. Hence why my "cspong was under her calorie goal" doesn't show up at the end of the day.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I have mine private because I'm trying to gain weight. I've had people blast me and send me pages of PM saying how I'm doing it wrong, how I have to eat this, eat that, omg why did you eat that? Mostly men too. So I just closed mine.
    I eat potatoes every day in some form and a few people have had an issue with that. So no thank you.
    And I've held on to my 5lbs for a few months now, I no longer am quite so boyish!!! I'm very happy!
  • aldale
    aldale Posts: 118 Member
    I don't have mine open to anyone, I'm accountable for myself. If I feel like I need some input, as in I'm struggling and can't see where I'm going wrong- then I will give someone the password and they can help me out.
    Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.

    I had my diary opened to the public and someone who I do not want to remove as a friend (because she does give support) was really hounding me every time I ate something she felt that I should not be eating. I was losing weight though and was pleased with myself. I started making my diary look good and not logging everything that I was eating. Needless to say, I began to gain weight and was embarassed to put in the weight gain. I made a decision to log in my weight gain and to make my diary private. Now I do not have to worry about what anyone else thinks, and I have started losing the weight that I had gained back. Now I enjoy MFP again.
  • Monda
    Monda Posts: 271 Member
    I personally don't understand why some people have such a hard time with it being private. My diary is private and none of my friends have ever jumped down my throat or deleted me for it. I am supportive to my friends whether their diary is public or private. I encourage them on their success. They don't need me to be negative to them. Most people already know if they are not eating right. But, if they ask for me to look, then I would give them ge advice.
  • jenna324
    jenna324 Posts: 28
    I had my diary set to public for awhile and all I got was unsolicited advice, nutrition "counseling", and other various annoyances...similar to what you mentioned when you said you would offer healthier eating options, etc. I am a nutritionist. I have a college education in nutrition (even says so on my profile!) so I would like to think I know what I'm doing at this point (especially since I counsel people on their food choices and meal plans for a living!). When others who educate themselves via Google want to educate me, I have serious issues with that (not saying you do that, I'm speaking generally). If I wanted help or advice, I'd ask for it. It's easier for me to keep it closed. I've considered opening it again because I have since gotten rid of the above mentioned misinformed Google trolls but at the end of the day, who gives a crap what I have/haven't put in my mouth? (And I've forgotten how to make it public again!)
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