How to dress for dinner...

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BAMFMeredith
BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
in Chit-Chat
This past weekend my boyfriend took me out to one of my favorite sushi places. This particular restaurant is relatively upscale, we made reservations, and you can easily spend over $100 on dinner for 2, especially if you order any cocktails. Now, Austin is a really laid back, casual place. You can wear jeans pretty much anywhere. But generally at nicer restaurants (there is a big group of nice places downtown) people dress up more. My bf had on a nice collared shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes. I was dressed up as well, heels, makeup, my hair done, etc.

We were seated and I couldn't help but notice a handful of people who I felt like were SO under-dressed for a restaurant like that. The guy at the table next to ours was wearing a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I noticed one other guy wearing a cap as well. I'm not super old fashioned or anything, but I just thought it was really bad manners that these guys were wearing hats during dinner at this nice restaurant...is that weird? If it had been Chili's or somewhere like that, no big deal, but this was a pretty nice place. Of course, it didn't affect my meal, and has no affect on my life, but it was just something I noticed.

I felt like the few people who were dressed really casually, hats, t-shirts, seemed REALLY out of place in there. What do you guys think? No big deal? Or are people getting lazy these days when it comes to getting dressed to go out? Bad table manners to wear a hat during dinner?
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  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    This past weekend my boyfriend took me out to one of my favorite sushi places. This particular restaurant is relatively upscale, we made reservations, and you can easily spend over $100 on dinner for 2, especially if you order any cocktails. Now, Austin is a really laid back, casual place. You can wear jeans pretty much anywhere. But generally at nicer restaurants (there is a big group of nice places downtown) people dress up more. My bf had on a nice collared shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes. I was dressed up as well, heels, makeup, my hair done, etc.

    We were seated and I couldn't help but notice a handful of people who I felt like were SO under-dressed for a restaurant like that. The guy at the table next to ours was wearing a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I noticed one other guy wearing a cap as well. I'm not super old fashioned or anything, but I just thought it was really bad manners that these guys were wearing hats during dinner at this nice restaurant...is that weird? If it had been Chili's or somewhere like that, no big deal, but this was a pretty nice place. Of course, it didn't affect my meal, and has no affect on my life, but it was just something I noticed.

    I felt like the few people who were dressed really casually, hats, t-shirts, seemed REALLY out of place in there. What do you guys think? No big deal? Or are people getting lazy these days when it comes to getting dressed to go out? Bad table manners to wear a hat during dinner?

    I don't wear a hat to dinner, regardless of the place. Fast food, fancy, normal, ever. I was taught it's respectful to remove your hat when eating.

    I always prefer to be over dressed. Better to look nice than to make an impression on someone and have them talk about it later (like you're doing, not that that's bad).
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I don't wear a hat to dinner, regardless of the place. Fast food, fancy, normal, ever. I was taught it's respectful to remove your hat when eating.

    I always prefer to be over dressed. Better to look nice than to make an impression on someone and have them talk about it later (like you're doing, not that that's bad).

    So agree, I'd totally rather be over dressed than under dressed. And I thought the hat thing was just like, one of those things everybody knows!
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
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    ^^^ agree with this guys, hats come off at the dinner table out of respect. I agree 100 % you Mer!
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    I understand your point of view, and my wife would agree with you but honestly I just dont care. If its a really high end place sure I would dress up but if its a regular resturant then im going to wear my hat, shirt, and pants.
  • njmp
    njmp Posts: 277 Member
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    People are definitely getting lazy. I love dressing up to go out for dinner, and it might be because of that that I notice when other people are under dressed. I asked an ex to change going out to a steakhouse once...I was wearing a smoking hot dress and he came down wearing cargo pants (with rips and frays) and layered t shirts. Ridiculous.
    Of course, if they are not with me, it doesn't affect me, but like you, I notice ;)
  • BeautyAndTheGeeks
    BeautyAndTheGeeks Posts: 109
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    I always dress up for dinner. Always.

    As for hats, I really couldn't give a hoot what someone has on their head during dinner, however I don't actually know anyone that even wears hats, so I can't say whether it would really bother me or not.
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    I love that you brought this up! Up north it's rare to see a man with out a baseball cap on at all times. Even if it's the Four Seasons. It doesn't ruin my life of course but, it'd be nice if they could take their hat off for something other than the star spangled banner at any given Boston sporting event.

    Sidenote, I also love the nicer weather because the shaggy hair and scraggly Bruins beards that most guys up here seem to think is all the rage get shaved and trimmed and the men actually look great all cleaned up. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I like it better like that.

    It's almost a double standard, woman are expected to look nice while men think looking unkempt is a badge of honor.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    Where I live, it is casual all the time. So I am just more excited to see people actually dressed for dinner. Dressing up is "out."
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Hats are never appropriate dinner wear. Aside from that, unless the restaurant has a dress code I don't really care what other people are wearing.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    ^^^ agree with this guys, hats come off at the dinner table out of respect. I agree 100 % you Mer!
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    Agree. And, what is really bothering me at this time is that I can now look good dressed up but I have found that there are not any restaurants where anyone dresses up.
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    People are definitely getting lazy. I love dressing up to go out for dinner, and it might be because of that that I notice when other people are under dressed. I asked an ex to change going out to a steakhouse once...I was wearing a smoking hot dress and he came down wearing cargo pants (with rips and frays) and layered t shirts. Ridiculous.
    Of course, if they are not with me, it doesn't affect me, but like you, I notice ;)


    ^have had the same thing happen to me. The same ex would also put a sport coat on AND wear his RedSox cap and I'm in heels and a dress. LOL, not the only reason but one of them as to why we're not together. Lack of respect thing.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Hats are never appropriate dinner wear. Aside from that, unless the restaurant has a dress code I don't really care what other people are wearing.

    Agree.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    I only like to wear tiny sombreros to dinner.
  • mtkautz
    mtkautz Posts: 218 Member
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    I don't care what table you're at, you take off your hat. Whether it's in your home or at a 5star restaurant.... there is no place for a hat at a table. Now... I'm from Montana.... there are plenty of laid-back places... I mean, 'dressing up' for most of the residents of this state constitutes a flannel shirt, clean jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat :wink: and "nice" means they serve your beer in a glass rather than the bottle :laugh: and quite frankly I like it that way.

    I can relate though, my boyfriend is rather casual.... so I have to tell him what to wear if we are going somewhere upscale... Other than that if he looked good and you thought he looked good then what does anyone else's opinion matter? As long as the guys aren't walking into the upscale restaurant looking like they just got off the horse.... then I really don't care... as long as they are respectful enough to take their hats off before they sit at the table :smile:

    Although, in some places I do believe people are just downright lazy.... or don't know HOW to dress (why I dress my boyfriend if we are going somewhere really nice) And some people just don't give a *kitten* what they look like. I usually try not to pay attention to those people though! Just enjoy your meal and time with your significant other I guess.... because there isn't a damn thing you can do about other people unfortunately!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I only like to wear tiny sombreros to dinner.

    Well those are always acceptable, obviously.
  • minime2b
    minime2b Posts: 168
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    Yes it is bad manners and yes people are getting lazy about dressing for dinner. My husband and I happened to see a similar situation ithis weekend. I love to take a chance every once in a while to dress up and I always lean toward being slightly overdressed than under.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
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    ugh, my dad wears shorts with holes in them, sandals that have been chewed by the dog and shirts that are ripped EVERYWHERE. he wears shorts in the winter too. there's just no helping him

    i dont care what you wear to eat, but take your hat off.
  • kaellinn18
    kaellinn18 Posts: 31 Member
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    If the restaurant really cares about that sort of thing, they will have a policy and not allow people in who are under-dressed. If they don't care, then you really shouldn't either. Personally, I'll wear a hat and shorts in a place like Chili's, but I dress nicer and wouldn't wear a hat to somewhere more upscale like Ruth's Chris or Morton's.
  • mes1119
    mes1119 Posts: 1,082 Member
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    I've noticed this too. I mean I will sometimes go out to eat at a family type restaurant and look a little sloppy because I just got off work (I'm a coach and lifeguard) but when I am going to a nice place for dinner, I dress up.

    I've seen people in dirty old shirts, basketball shorts, hats, dirty sneakers. Some people have ZERO pride. But whatever, it is their decision, so I don't sweat it. I just have an issue with poor hygiene in a restaurant. It's difficult to eat when someone around you stinks or has dirt all over them.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    $100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

    if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

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