Would you have said something...

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13

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  • Audddua
    Audddua Posts: 176 Member
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    I'm not going to lie... I'm opinionated and I tend to have a big mouth after a few drinks... so I probably would have said something (and regretted it later). My sober brain thinks its best to keep your mouth shut 100%. However, I think you have EVERY right to ensure child does not come along the adult boating trip again. If she insists upon bringing the child again then she's just opened herself up for the chat you politely avoided the first time.

    (Oh and she's clearly trash, but pointing that out just makes you look petty. Don't lower yourself to her level because she'll just beat you with experience trust me)

    *** [I had to add this after I posted it because I was still pondering.] If she does try to bring the child along again I would recommend that you apologize and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm uncomfortable having a child around while we're drinking this much". DO NOT say anything that judges her or she'll get defensive. Hold your ground and stay polite. Good luck! ***
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
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    Nope. I think it's pretty horrible and disgusting to parent like that, but as long as it's not actual proven abuse or neglect, I would stay out of it. I would tell my friend EXACTLY what I thought of his girlfriend though.
  • suzikay12
    suzikay12 Posts: 150 Member
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    I'm not sure how this is the GF's fault if the father brough his daughter along, was warned about how rowdy things were going to be and HE didn't look out for the best interest of his daughter. I'm not a fan of blaming the significant other b/c the parent is not parenting. Or did I totally read this post wrong?

    Haha, totally read it wrong. It was the girlfriends kid. Sometimes it's hard to remember the original post after reading through all the answers!
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
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    It's worth mentioning if its bothering you. She might have already realized that she made herself look foolish in front of her kid, or she may tell you to blow it out your A. Either way, if it makes YOU feel uncomfortable, then speak your mind.
  • oneIT
    oneIT Posts: 388 Member
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    So you think if you said something it would have done something? You only would have said something for your own peace of mind. This is prob normal for her and won't stop. Nothing you can do.
  • mamnboston
    mamnboston Posts: 81
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    I would have told her that unless she was going to breast feed him... to put them away.

    LOL, I see you read the Time Magazine...
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    It's not your child, and not your business.

    Ridiculous.

    I reserve the right to judge any drunken idiot mother I ever come across, and to make sure she knows I think she's trash.

    THIS!!! SO THIS!!!!
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    No, I would not have said anything. Yes, you were right to be bothered. But you don't know her, so whatever you say is not going to get through to her, and it's only going to cause tension, and depending on the kind of person she is, it might cause more problems for her son. You can say something to your friend though, and let him know that you thought it was extremely inappropriate behavior, and that you would appreciate it if she would control herself if she's going to bring her child to hang out with you guys.
  • mamnboston
    mamnboston Posts: 81
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    Nope. I think it's pretty horrible and disgusting to parent like that, but as long as it's not actual proven abuse or neglect, I would stay out of it. I would tell my friend EXACTLY what I thought of his girlfriend though.

    I second that, your friend's girlfriend is completely reckless and clearly doesn't care about her child...why would anyone want to be with her?
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Just because your kids are at home, doesn't give you the license to flash. I don't know if you personally get this wild and flash everybody but if you do, kids or no kids, you got no room to judge. If you don't, then change the company because the person that does this kind of action in front of her own kids won't think twice about doing it in front of your kids.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    as long as the boat captain wasnt drunk i dont get what the big deal is.

    if people called social services for kids being around drunk adults when i was growing up, noone would have been raised with their ral family
  • bighouse51
    bighouse51 Posts: 30 Member
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    I think you should re-read your own post and then determine if you should take yourself seriously. What a joke.
  • Audddua
    Audddua Posts: 176 Member
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    I think you should re-read your own post and then determine if you should take yourself seriously. What a joke.

    Are you talking about the OP or meshashesha20??
  • betrayalunknown
    betrayalunknown Posts: 63
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    Yup, that's a toughie.... it's the good person inside of you who just wants to come out and scream "BE A GOOD MOTHER, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!" We all have those moments where we want to be good people by "advising" others on how to be better people. ie, not flashing your boobs in front of children.... or in public where someone/anyone could be offended. We all know about common courtesy, however we all slip up sometimes. After all, we are only human. It is easy to judge someone from a distance. Now with that said, I think that maybe the alcohol played a big part in what she did. I mean, I hope so. Not that it should be used as an excuse in ANY way... but some people honestly have different personalities that come out when intoxicated. So I'm sure she didn't mean to do that in front of her child... (Again, I hope).

    So anyway, I think it is perfectly normal that you cannot seem to get past this. In fact, it really shows that you're a great person who genuinely cares about the well-being of a child of whom you have absolutely no connection to.

    All in all, I don't think you should have said anything. It's not going to change who she is. You're comment might set her off and she might have taken it the wrong way. Afterall.... what is the "right" way to take someone's suggestion on how to act in front of a child, right?

    Just take a deep breath and know that you're just a better person than she is... No one is perfect! We have to forgive people for their mistakes. The best thing that we can do is just learn from their shortcomings and just make OURSELVES better people:)

    P.S. Karma is a *****, ya know ;)
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I too am an R (sometimes more) rated person, and I have a 12-year old daughter. There is no way in heck that I would subject her to seeing her mother act like a drunken idiot (as I sometimes do from time to time). Something definitely should be said, and I probably would have intervened at the sand bar too. Poor kid should never have been exposed to that behavior.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    There are two kinds of mothers in this world: the kind who would get completely trashed and start flashing her boobies in front of her 12-year old son and the kind that wouldn't.

    Do you honestly think anything you say can change one into the other?
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
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    as long as the boat captain wasnt drunk i dont get what the big deal is.

    if people called social services for kids being around drunk adults when i was growing up, noone would have been raised with their ral family

    People call social services for everything these days. Also, you're about my age and the "system" wasn't what it is now. If you are deemed to be to under the influence and you are the immediate caretaker of child, they will investigate you and possibly remove your child for a short time. I'm not saying that I agree with how the system is set up but it is a reality
  • suzikay12
    suzikay12 Posts: 150 Member
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    Yup, that's a toughie.... it's the good person inside of you who just wants to come out and scream "BE A GOOD MOTHER, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!" We all have those moments where we want to be good people by "advising" others on how to be better people. ie, not flashing your boobs in front of children.... or in public where someone/anyone could be offended. We all know about common courtesy, however we all slip up sometimes. After all, we are only human. It is easy to judge someone from a distance. Now with that said, I think that maybe the alcohol played a big part in what she did. I mean, I hope so. Not that it should be used as an excuse in ANY way... but some people honestly have different personalities that come out when intoxicated. So I'm sure she didn't mean to do that in front of her child... (Again, I hope).

    So anyway, I think it is perfectly normal that you cannot seem to get past this. In fact, it really shows that you're a great person who genuinely cares about the well-being of a child of whom you have absolutely no connection to.

    All in all, I don't think you should have said anything. It's not going to change who she is. You're comment might set her off and she might have taken it the wrong way. Afterall.... what is the "right" way to take someone's suggestion on how to act in front of a child, right?

    Just take a deep breath and know that you're just a better person than she is... No one is perfect! We have to forgive people for their mistakes. The best thing that we can do is just learn from their shortcomings and just make OURSELVES better people:)

    P.S. Karma is a *****, ya know ;)

    Thank you for this post.
  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
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    You need a license to,

    Drive a car,
    Ride a bike,
    Own a dog,
    Run a business,
    Cut somebody's hair,
    Sell a house,
    Go fishing,
    Go hunting,
    Walk in the woods,
    Sell a gun,
    Buy a gun,
    To beg for money (Raleigh, NC)
    Babysitting (New Jersey)
    Sell lemonade on the corner
    Have a garage sale

    BUT ANYONE CAN HAVE CHILDREN, NO QUESTIONS ASKED?
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    You should talk to the mom!! The child is 12! It's not like he is gonna forget this but they can prevent this from happening again... Some people just shouldn't be parents.....

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