Booty Perfume

Oh, I've got a public restroom story that will make your blood curdle....well, that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration, but it might make you gag a little. I won't share it, though, unless someone reeeeeaaaallly wants me to. :huh:

Yes, I'm dying to know!

Well, okay, if you insist. Here goes, but, be warned, it's a lengthy one:

I used to work at a certain closeout store that shall remain nameless, but whose logo colors are orange and black. Anyway, one of my duties, on occasion, was to clean the ladies’ bathroom. ...There were three working stalls and one that was permanently out of order. I had cleaned the first two stalls and was working on the third, when a rather portly, middle-aged woman, who carried most of her weight in her legs and rear, waddled into the bathroom. There was a sense of urgency in her stride that indicated to me that it was gonna be baaaaad. She saw the cleaning supplies in my hands and looked at me quizzically, so I said, “The first two are clean, but I’m still working on this one.” She went into the first stall, sat down, and let out the loudest fart I’ve ever heard in my life! I was like, “Okay! That’s my cue to get the heck out of Dodge!” So, I left the bathroom and went to find another task to work on while she was doin’ her thing. About fifteen minutes later I heard this over the store’s intercom, “Jessica, please come to the back room!” I was like, “Ooohhhh! Noooooo! If they’re paging me, it must be worse than I expected.” Let me tell you, this woman must have eaten at an all you can eat buffet, then took a bunch of laxatives before she came in to shop. It was NAAAAASTY! It was sprayed all over the toilet, on the wall behind the toilet, on the walls of the stall…. And, apparently, she felt the need to use the second stall because it was all over that one, too. I literally had to spray everything down with bleach, then hose it off with a garden hose and into the drain in the middle of the floor. I used every PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) we had in the store…would’ve used a HAZMAT suit, too, if we’d had one. Just when I thought I had it all cleaned up, I looked on the back of the door of stall number one and what did I see? A HUGE brown butt print. Apparently, she turned around to flush, and accidentally pressed her naked booty against the door. SOOOO GROSS!!! Then, get this, after making that mess, SHE STAYED IN THE STORE TO SHOP!!!! I told the manager, “I would have been so mortified after doing that, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of the store fast enough. What in the world could have been so important that she had to stick around to shop after that?!” He said, with a twinkle in his eye, “Immodium.”

ROTFLMMFAO!!!!!!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

OMG!! bless your heart for having to clean that up!!! I'm sorry, I just laughed so hard at this!!