How can I get my Hubby on board?

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Wonderwoman2677
Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 434 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've tried everything to try to get my Hubby on board with me to lose weight, eat better and exercise...he just won't budge. I tried talking to him...forbidding him to bring junk food into the house... being patient and hoping he would join in...trying to guilt him into it (not proud of that one). He just won't do it. He's always "too tired" to exercise and likes to eat crap food.

Any ideas that would really motivate him?
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Replies

  • lornaheron
    lornaheron Posts: 72
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    My husband is the same. I don't stop him eating crap though. They have to want to do it for themselves. When he see's you losing weight he might start to join in.
  • brwneyedirish813
    brwneyedirish813 Posts: 67 Member
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    my husband is the same way. stubborn they are. im with her ^ im hoping he'll join as soon as he starts seing my weight loss efforts and changes.
  • knrob
    knrob Posts: 65
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    Try some ACTIVities that you could do together, that burn some calories, and promote the QUALITY time for the two of you...if you can get him active, the rest will fall in line.
  • CynGoddess
    CynGoddess Posts: 188 Member
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    trying also, but he has to want it, i can't want it enough for him. he is even signed up here and not using it.
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I've tried everything to try to get my Hubby on board with me to lose weight, eat better and exercise...he just won't budge. I tried talking to him...forbidding him to bring junk food into the house... being patient and hoping he would join in...trying to guilt him into it (not proud of that one). He just won't do it. He's always "too tired" to exercise and likes to eat crap food.

    Any ideas that would really motivate him?

    This worked for mine! LOL

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/bjohs/view/sex-weight-loss-117390
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Step 1.) DO NOT FORCE/MENTION/SUGGEST THAT HE USE MFP OR LOSE WEIGHT
    dear god please do not do this. This will cause resentment, anger, and will be extremely counterproductive.

    Step 2.) DO NOT MAKE ANY COMMENTS ON "JUST HOW GREAT I'M LOOKING"
    This will cause him to be self concious or believe you are putting him down to put yourself up.

    Step 3.) Continue on your journey and do your thing.

    Step 4.) Wait for him to realize that you are having phenomenal results. Wait for him to tell you how sexy you are looking. Wait for him to make the decision to change his lifestyle on his own. Wait for him to get motivation from within.


    Step 5.) Success?

    If he ever wants to be succesful he needs to want to do it wholeheartedly and it needs to be his own choice. If he does it for you, or because he feels bad about himself, he will only fail. Trust me, works every time. ;)

    Edit to say: this might take months and months, hell, maybe it will never happen. But trust me, lead by example and he might just follow. Always be positive and support your partner with love and let them do these things on their own accord.
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
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    Ahhh, the million dollar question. My husband takes 5 different medications for his high blood pressure. He isn't interested in exercising and gets quite nasty for I get persistent. I don't bother anymore and pray that I won't be a widow. His eating habits have gotten better, but are nowhere where they should be. He lives for sausages and homemade french fries. He's an adult - and it's frustrating because the consequences of his bad habits have hindered him and us in numerous ways. He cooks the meals and will actually make me a separate dinner!!!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Sometimes you just have to wait until he sees how awesome you have done and then decides to join you. It took mine almost 9 months to start using his own MFP account and now he's down 40 pounds :)
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    You can't. You can make healthy food available, but you can't force him to eat it. You can nag, but that will only make him defensive or discouraged.

    Do what my wife did. Simply do it for yourself. After a couple of months, I got the hint.
  • Emili03
    Emili03 Posts: 164 Member
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    My husband is the same. I don't stop him eating crap though. They have to want to do it for themselves. When he see's you losing weight he might start to join in.

    I explained how important it was to me to lose weight and tried to get my husband to join in initially. However, when I saw he really wasn't motivated I backed off. When I cook dinner, I make it healthy and the same for everyone including him and my kids. Also, I asked him to please not tell me what good food he ate while he was at work and not to bring any unhealthy foods home. Every so often, he will comment on how much I have lost and how he is going to "get serious" about losing weight soon. Btw, he has lost about 11 lbs. just from the healthier dinners.
  • holleysings
    holleysings Posts: 664 Member
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    My husband is the same way and he's the one with the health problems due to his size! I'm just focusing on changing my lifestyle and explaining it to him as I go without forcing him to join me. He's already cut out most fast food (used to eat it every day) and is eating more fruit. He's also makes an effort to walk with me at least once a week. I know he's processing everything that I tell him. It just takes him longer to begin making changes. And that's OK. Everyone moves at his/her own pace. Don't push it, but keep him informed!
  • eganita
    eganita Posts: 501 Member
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    My boyfriend doesn't look like he needs to lose weight, but he has a lot of unhealthy habits.

    I've noticed that as I have been seeing results, he's started paying more attention to what he eats (especially cutting back on soda). I also tend to share a lot of info with him about what I'm doing, and that seems to motivate him a bit as well (perhaps this is more of a male ego thing.. haha.. if he hears about his gf running a few miles, I think it makes him want to do the same or more :P) He still doesn't track his food or anything like that, but he says things like "Wow, that milkshake is 600 calories... I don't think I should have that today"

    Some else posted a great idea -- suggest fun and active things to do together! Bike rides are fun and good exercise, though, at least for me, not as tiresome as other forms of exercise. Hiking can also be fun. Or, if you're a sports person -- join a rec adult sports league together! We have a great time playing sports together (and are also burning calories and even meeting a lot of new friends)

    Good luck!
  • knrob
    knrob Posts: 65
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    bjohs-that was a great blog!
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
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    Rainbowbow - I have said nothing for the past 5 years!! This year he decided he wanted to do something about his weight - I was very excited and he lasted a week - he ate healthy - wasn't hungry exercised 10 minutes a day and lost 11 lbs - we was walking around like a proud peacock! I was SOOOO excited. The following week he got a cold and gained 7 lbs back and never tried again - he says he gets enough exercise at work. He walks up the stairs and is non-stop huffing and puffing - really sucks to watch - but......I will continue to wait......
  • Mindy1124
    Mindy1124 Posts: 22 Member
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    lately I have realized my partner has been a GREAT inspiration for me... but I have definitely not been a great one for her. What are some great tips to helping someone get motivated? :-)
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
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    Don't try anymore. If he's not interested, you can't make him be into it.


    You could always think outloud around him about who your next man will be after your current husband has ate himself into the grave. That's a bit mean-spirited though.
  • MissC787
    MissC787 Posts: 175 Member
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    My husband got me started. He even found MFP, now.... He isn't as serious as I am. He still eats small portions unless he is really feeling hungry, or is wanting to eat something he shouldn't. Then he tells me... "I'm not changing everything I eat to lose weight." Or... "I burn enough calories at work to eat what ever I want to have." So.... I fix my meal seperate. Then last night he says.... "Why didn't you make me some of what your having? I'm trying to lose weight to." He frustrates me, and there are times I don't even want to eat with him.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
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    My hubby isnt in bad shape. He works all day on his feet & he used to wrestle, so he's mostly muscle. But I make him eat what I eat lol I let him get chips & sometimes cookies, but I dont like him get anything that would b to temptin to me. And like I said, he eats healthy suppers, cuz he eats what I eat. He's lost weight too, w/o even tryin or counting lol. So my advice is just fix healthy meals, so he will have no choice what to eat haha
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
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    bjohs-that was a great blog!

    Thanks! I hope it gave you a good chuckle! BTW, he's still earning credits and his habits are certainly changing. He can't stand when we are forced to stop for fast food out of convenience now. :)
  • akiss4u2tam
    akiss4u2tam Posts: 50
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    My hubby is the same.......... and we have a friend that's a manager at a gym ......... and he can go for free............. I've decided to let him be.... I cook healty and he eats what I cook...... when he cooks he prepares food without the excess calories..... He is trying to help me... and inadvertantly helping himself. :o) Also I figured if I lose the weight and look better....maybe he'll eventually do the same.......

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