A question for women, rephrased
Before I ask my question I want to inform you that I'm currently not in a healthy state of mind. I'm very depressed lately and I'm bugging out. I want to have a healthier state of mind because that is part of being healthy/fit.
If your coming here with intentions of bashing my thread, going and looking at my profile and jumping to conclusions because of my inspirations and etc... then grow up. I want to be fit for 1 Vagina only, my girlfriends vagina. I'll touch base with that in a minute. I'm not a tool even though the signs are there. I've had 3 gfs in my life so I'm pretty sure that does not make me a tool.
For the past year me and my girlfriend have been dating. I do everything for her. I pay the bills, I make her breakfast in bed when she wants it. I cook all the food, when she comes home from work I greet her with a kiss and ask her about her day. When she is sick I take extra special care of her including CARRYING her to the bathroom. She literally makes me go with her to the bathroom to P, and to do her makeup blah blah blah. I've cut out a bunch of hearts with sweet notes on them and taped them to her car. I've made her mix cd's of that acoustic love crap she likes and drew a little picture of a teddy bear holding flowers to be the cd cover. I open all the doors for her, I lift the seat... One time she was all drugged up on xanax (thanks doc) and she pissed the bed. I didn't kick her out and make her clean it up like most men would have. I picked her up and gave her a bath because she simply wouldn't wake up. I didn't want her getting a rash so yeah... She had a car accident guess who was there to take care of her? Me. Guess who wasn't, her family... I've made candle lit pathways to a bubble bath so to say that I'm not chivalrous is dumb. Literally when she gets home from work she kicks back and orders me around. "give me a drink, i'm hungry, let me have that pillow etc..."
What do I get in return? She comes home to me, she might take me with her to see her friends, she smokes her ganja with me... Other than that NOTHING. Sure we have sex almost every night but to me that isn't enough. Is this all of this because she thinks "oh i'll just give him some and call it even?"
If I didn't treat her like a princess we wouldn't be together I'm sure. What is behind this type of behaviour. Ask me any question you like to help me get to the bottom of this. example: "is her parents around?" Why oh why does she feel the need to be treated like a princess all the time and not treat me the same way?
If your coming here with intentions of bashing my thread, going and looking at my profile and jumping to conclusions because of my inspirations and etc... then grow up. I want to be fit for 1 Vagina only, my girlfriends vagina. I'll touch base with that in a minute. I'm not a tool even though the signs are there. I've had 3 gfs in my life so I'm pretty sure that does not make me a tool.
For the past year me and my girlfriend have been dating. I do everything for her. I pay the bills, I make her breakfast in bed when she wants it. I cook all the food, when she comes home from work I greet her with a kiss and ask her about her day. When she is sick I take extra special care of her including CARRYING her to the bathroom. She literally makes me go with her to the bathroom to P, and to do her makeup blah blah blah. I've cut out a bunch of hearts with sweet notes on them and taped them to her car. I've made her mix cd's of that acoustic love crap she likes and drew a little picture of a teddy bear holding flowers to be the cd cover. I open all the doors for her, I lift the seat... One time she was all drugged up on xanax (thanks doc) and she pissed the bed. I didn't kick her out and make her clean it up like most men would have. I picked her up and gave her a bath because she simply wouldn't wake up. I didn't want her getting a rash so yeah... She had a car accident guess who was there to take care of her? Me. Guess who wasn't, her family... I've made candle lit pathways to a bubble bath so to say that I'm not chivalrous is dumb. Literally when she gets home from work she kicks back and orders me around. "give me a drink, i'm hungry, let me have that pillow etc..."
What do I get in return? She comes home to me, she might take me with her to see her friends, she smokes her ganja with me... Other than that NOTHING. Sure we have sex almost every night but to me that isn't enough. Is this all of this because she thinks "oh i'll just give him some and call it even?"
If I didn't treat her like a princess we wouldn't be together I'm sure. What is behind this type of behaviour. Ask me any question you like to help me get to the bottom of this. example: "is her parents around?" Why oh why does she feel the need to be treated like a princess all the time and not treat me the same way?
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Replies
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You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.0
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You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move one, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
DOUBLE THIS ...0 -
Okay, I think I'm going to use my one daily serious response to a thread on this one today. But I'm a dude, sorry.
Dude, you are doing too much for her, she's taking advantage and walking all over you. You doting on her every day like that has forced her to live with the expectation that she can do these things. Not that she's a selfich b*tch or anything, you just basically laid yourself out to be walked on like a door mat. Doing it every day just made her think "oh, this is how it's supposed to be". Plus, she probably doesn't go the extra mile for you because you are always going the extra mile. If you backed off she might actually have a chance to do it once in a while. You should probably back off and if she dumps you for it, that's even better for you, even though you won't think so in the moment.0 -
There is an excellent word that people need to learn. It's called "No"0
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You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
THIS!
Find a woman, not a girl. You sound like a good guy, so just work on finding a woman who is WORTH the effort who reciprocates affection and has respect for you.0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
A backbone huh? Please explain. To me that says "A guy who will stand up and even fight for me" which I have done.0 -
When she is sick I take extra special care of her including CARRYING her to the bathroom. She literally makes me go with her to the bathroom to P, and to do her makeup blah blah blah.
How sick does a person have to be to not be able to get to the bathroom. Unless she is physically incapable of moving, why would you allow yourself do be treated this way? (And why would she be needing to do her make-up if she's sick enough not to be able to get herself to the bathroom?)0 -
Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.0
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You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
THIS!
Find a woman, not a girl. You sound like a good guy, so just work on finding a woman who is WORTH the effort who reciprocates affection and has respect for you.
She's worth the effort to me even though others may not think so.0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
A backbone huh? Please explain. To me that says "A guy who will stand up and even fight for me" which I have done.
You've got to stand up for yourself to her. I'm not talking about wining bar fights here. I'm talking about expecting the woman who loves you to treat you with respect and dignity.0 -
Before I ask my question I want to inform you that I'm currently not in a healthy state of mind. I'm very depressed lately and I'm bugging out. I want to have a healthier state of mind because that is part of being healthy/fit.
If your coming here with intentions of bashing my thread, going and looking at my profile and jumping to conclusions because of my inspirations and etc... then grow up. I want to be fit for 1 Vagina only, my girlfriends vagina. I'll touch base with that in a minute. I'm not a tool even though the signs are there. I've had 3 gfs in my life so I'm pretty sure that does not make me a tool.
For the past year me and my girlfriend have been dating. I do everything for her. I pay the bills, I make her breakfast in bed when she wants it. I cook all the food, when she comes home from work I greet her with a kiss and ask her about her day. When she is sick I take extra special care of her including CARRYING her to the bathroom. She literally makes me go with her to the bathroom to P, and to do her makeup blah blah blah. I've cut out a bunch of hearts with sweet notes on them and taped them to her car. I've made her mix cd's of that acoustic love crap she likes and drew a little picture of a teddy bear holding flowers to be the cd cover. I open all the doors for her, I lift the seat... One time she was all drugged up on xanax (thanks doc) and she pissed the bed. I didn't kick her out and make her clean it up like most men would have. I picked her up and gave her a bath because she simply wouldn't wake up. I didn't want her getting a rash so yeah... She had a car accident guess who was there to take care of her? Me. Guess who wasn't, her family... I've made candle lit pathways to a bubble bath so to say that I'm not chivalrous is dumb. Literally when she gets home from work she kicks back and orders me around. "give me a drink, i'm hungry, let me have that pillow etc..."
What do I get in return? She comes home to me, she might take me with her to see her friends, she smokes her ganja with me... Other than that NOTHING. Sure we have sex almost every night but to me that isn't enough. Is this all of this because she thinks "oh i'll just give him some and call it even?"
If I didn't treat her like a princess we wouldn't be together I'm sure. What is behind this type of behaviour. Ask me any question you like to help me get to the bottom of this. example: "is her parents around?" Why oh why does she feel the need to be treated like a princess all the time and not treat me the same way?
You're making it too easy. She knows she has you where she wants you. You need to make her think that you are capable of being without her. Women usually never go for the guy who is an easy catch and do whatever they want. Make her work a bit for the affection, if she doesn't come around, then find one who will. Make her see that you have a life besides her. I'm not saying treat her like dirt, but show some independence and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Make plans that don't involve her
Get a hobby that you can do on your own
Show her that you have a life besides her
On the other hand you are getting a lot of .... so you might not have it as bad as you think.0 -
Okay, I think I'm going to use my one daily serious response to a thread on this one today. But I'm a dude, sorry.
Dude, you are doing too much for her, she's taking advantage and walking all over you. You doting on her every day like that has forced her to live with the expectation that she can do these things. Not that she's a selfich b*tch or anything, you just basically laid yourself out to be walked on like a door mat. Doing it every day just made her think "oh, this is how it's supposed to be". Plus, she probably doesn't go the extra mile for you because you are always going the extra mile. If you backed off she might actually have a chance to do it once in a while. You should probably back off and if she dumps you for it, that's even better for you, even though you won't think so in the moment.
This.
ETA: You honestly seem like a very nice guy, but she's not giving those same things back to you. Think of it this way, if you have someone doing everything for you, why you do anything differently? This girl's living the life, and you're getting screwed. Relationships involve 2 people, doing equal things. Not one getting everything and the other getting nothing. That's just not fair to you.0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
A backbone huh? Please explain. To me that says "A guy who will stand up and even fight for me" which I have done.
It means a guy who will stand up and fight for himself.0 -
Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.
Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move one, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
DOUBLE THIS ...
Triple that!
Also if you're in a bad headspace and feeling down smoking weed is a downer so that will make it worse. Lay off the weed and move on. You need to find someone that appreciates you more than she seem to. Also try not to be a doormat. We won't stop you from being a doormat because it's nice at first. Then it's just kind of sad. Then we start to resent you for having no backbone. But this is just my life experience - you may be totally different. Best of luck to you!0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
THIS!
Find a woman, not a girl. You sound like a good guy, so just work on finding a woman who is WORTH the effort who reciprocates affection and has respect for you.
She's worth the effort to me even though others may not think so.
Doesn't sound like it. Of course, we only see your side of this story here.0 -
You've been treating her this way for a year and she's been acting the way she does for a year and you are just now questioning it? She doesn't do anything for you because she doesn't have to. You need to move on, gain some self confidence and self respect, get yourself mentally healthy (I'd suggest counseling), then find a normal woman. This one isn't going to change now. No decent woman wants a man to treat her like this. We want a man with a back bone.
A backbone huh? Please explain. To me that says "A guy who will stand up and even fight for me" which I have done.
You've got to stand up for yourself to her. I'm not talking about wining bar fights here. I'm talking about expecting the woman who loves you to treat you with respect and dignity.
Once again, this.0 -
damn common sense strikes!Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.0 -
Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.
Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"
Sounds like she's a selfish person then. Relationships are give and take. You give and you expect that the other person gives also. Don't be a doormat. You're 22. Plenty of other amazing women out there.0 -
I hope you will one day be fit for your girlfriend's vagina. :flowerforyou:0
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I'm sorry you're having this trouble, and I wish I had an insightful response into her behavior, but I don't. I think she's a selfish brat and that you're being too nice.0
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I read a bit in your other thread but I didn't reply, I didn't really see that it was worth my time.
First let me say not all women want to be treated like a "princess". I am a grown adult, I want to be with someone who has respect for me and I have equal respect for him. I want him to treat me well, and I do the same for him. That is what I have with my bf of almost a year. We like each other as people and love each other as well.
When I am stressed he offers to help, sometimes I say sure, can you do "fill in the blank" for me, but more often I say just be here while I pull myself together. I am my own person and he is as well. We have a life together and we have a life out side of each other, but yes you are being taken advantage of. She doesn't give you respect as a person, so why are you going out of your way to kiss her @ss?0 -
She acts the way she does because she knows you'll keep doing what you do. She takes you for granted and you let her. When you stop doing everything, she'll either move on or she'll see what she has and stop taking you for granted.
Get a backbone means to once in awhile do for you, it's ok to be selfish once in awhile, your health and well being matters and if she cares at all for you, she will want whats best for you and evidently this is causing you stress and stress and depression is no healthy or good for your well being. Any decent woman would know this.0 -
Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.
Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"
Then she doesn't deserve to have you or any others. Sounds like a one way relationship. Does she have Daddy issues?0 -
She expects you to do all this because you have been doing it so she's gotten used to it. You sound like a decent guy and like you love her very much, I think you should have a talk with her about how you feel because she probably doesn't realise that she is being selfish and not giving anything back. If you don't tell somebody you aren't happy they will presume you are happy and continue with the behaviour that is making you feel that way.0
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She sounds spoiled, and (please don't take offense) but you kind of sound like a push-over.
Women need men who will do those sweet things of course, but also have a back bone. Doing make-up? Carrying her to the bathroom? Some of these things sound like she can basically get you to do anything and everything.... She is using you!
Not just men, but women too, should not only be willing to give up control but also be able to take control, be decisive/insistent, and sticks to their guns. Don't let her make you into a push-over. You deserve to be treated with respect...so stand up for yourself and demand respect.0 -
I'm in a lesbian relationship, last year my girlfriend was sort of like you, doing everything for me. I was young and immature, I took her for granted, we broke up and are back together now but i grew up, the relationship has to be 50/50 or you're going to feel let down constantly.0
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What's so special about her that you think you have to do all this to keep her?
I can't imagine treating my significant other so poorly as you are describing she treats you.
I see you are in the military, indicating that you have medical insurance. Use it. Get some counseling. Please.0 -
Perhaps she doesn't feel the same away about you?
If she did love you, could she treat you like this?
I couldn't treat my fella that way. I couldn't stand to.0 -
Okay, I think I'm going to use my one daily serious response to a thread on this one today. But I'm a dude, sorry.
Dude, you are doing too much for her, she's taking advantage and walking all over you. You doting on her every day like that has forced her to live with the expectation that she can do these things. Not that she's a selfich b*tch or anything, you just basically laid yourself out to be walked on like a door mat. Doing it every day just made her think "oh, this is how it's supposed to be". Plus, she probably doesn't go the extra mile for you because you are always going the extra mile. If you backed off she might actually have a chance to do it once in a while. You should probably back off and if she dumps you for it, that's even better for you, even though you won't think so in the moment.
ding,ding,ding!!!
My man treats me like a "princess" which I believe is a word you use. BUT he does not let me walk all over him...if I am being a brat he calls me out on it. In return, I show him all the love and appreciation he desires....physically and emotionally. thats the trade off in a healthy relationshi[p.0
This discussion has been closed.
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