So over it.

I do agree with BrettPGH, if someone feels as if they are "competing" against others here it's more of a self-conscious issue that the person needs to work through. If the person is being attacked then they can report it. There was a recent stream of "Amber Alerts" where a person was attacking a woman calling her rude names and it was reported and eventually the issue was taken care of. The people on the site do take action in such things. Not all the forums are bad, and it is an adult site where you have to understand that there are others with similar and different situations that come on here. Some have bad days and vent, some just troll, it's the internet and people are free to do what they wish (within the regulations from the site itself).

People dont realise that they become a part of a vicious cycle. They once felt like they weren't good enough because they were living in the shadow of the people that thought they were. Now they feel great and are casting a shadow on those who dont feel good enough.

Life inst a competition because in the end, there's is no prize.

life isn't a competition so why do some people feel bad because others are somehow in a different place than them? You are saying that some people feel bad because they perceive themselves as not being as good as somebody else. The ones feeling bad are the ones who are seeing life as competition.

I didn't read the hot bod threads. Couldn't care less about things like that so I didn't read. Nobody forces anybody else to read the thread. If you or somebody else is hurt they weren't listed, why did they go read the thread????

Hey, did anybody post about how hot I am? If not, can I feel offended now?

I went thru hell in high school, got called all kinds of things. Had people wait in the hall to make fun of me. spit on me.
i dont even want to go into any more detail.it was very painful.

still no one is threatening anyone here by participating in a fun thread. Maybe i DO like the positive feedback on my progress...is that so awful?

I am sorry for your loss.

Jules

And what of the people that are still feeling like you once did? They come on here and read posts that make them feel even worse? Even if they dont chose to, somehow, it'll still keep popping up until their curiosity kicks in purely because they want to see what they are 'competing' with.

Then they need to stay to posts that are safe for them. Right now I stay off the success boards... there are some that make me want to cry and others that piss me off. Those are MY issues. There are other threads posted elsewhere that I have to gauge whether I can handle the content or not. It is not my place to police other people but to take care of my well being. I can only be responsible for me. So, while your desire to protect others is commendable, they are ultimately responsible for the links they click on.

No, you cant ignore the bad, ignoring the bad is the whole point of posting the story. He was ignored, by his friends and by the adults. It's the people that say things like - if you dont want to read it you dont have to, no one is forcing you to be part of it - that make people feel the way Alex did. He felt excluded, because no one invited him to the dance because there was always someone better for the girls to choose. He created this image of what was perfect, based on what people praised other people for.

Everybody raise your hands if you want to be part of a fitness website that does not encourage improving the way you look and feel.

I'm sorry for your friend. Truly. But no one is being harmed here because other people are being called attractive. That is not bullying.

People really closed accounts because of superficial threads in the chit-chat fun and games sections? I feel as thought that is a little ridiculous.

I have some pretty severe body image issues, and pretty low self esteem and honestly those threads would NEVER make me deactivate. Do I care if a whole crap load of strangers thing I am the hottest girl on MFP... oh hell no... I really could care less if a whole group of strangers thought that about me in real life. .

I stay out of forums topics that I think will make me feel down - I never once clicked on the hottest guy/girl forum because today was a bad day for me and I would have projected that on people that never meant for that to happen.

I think people in general need to lighten up... projecting your issues on harmless for fun forum topics is really fricken ridiculous.

I understand what you're saying, OP. I really do. And the thought even crossed my mind when I saw those threads that wow, no way I'm ever going to be in a thread like that. Because I won't. Even if I worked my butt off and did everything right, I highly doubt I'd ever be one of the hottest anything on MFP. But I just stayed away from the threads. Because they had nothing to do with me. Let people have their fun. They're not calling me ugly, they're calling each other hot. Good for them.

The thing about bullying is that it's intentional; it's directed toward one person or a group of people. Those threads weren't directed toward anyone in a negative way. They weren't threads looking for the ugliest people on MFP. They weren't threads calling out people for bad habits or ugly feet or anything like that. It was just a fun, silly thing, complimenting people. Just because one person gets complimented doesn't mean that anybody who isn't included is automatically being insulted. That's not how it works. If I tell you that I like your hair and your friend is standing right there and I don't say anything to her, that doesn't mean that I think your friend's hair is ugly. It just means, hey, I like your hair today. Period.

3. I dont think I am any way special.

I do.

I completely agree. Not only that, but it's like people go into forums looking for a fight.

I'm cool with criticism, but when you actually attack someone? C'mon. It's like being in high school again.

Also, I'm sorry for your loss. =( It's very difficult growing up these days.

The OP did the attacking.

Hi Folks,

I wanted to add a couple of notes to the current discussion.

I couldn't possibly agree more with about the necessity of dealing with bullies in the forums. It's absolutely our goal that the forums be a safe place for anyone to ask for help or support.

For that reason, we have a "three strikes" policy. If our moderators "strike out" a user for violating our posting guidelines three time (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines) then that user can no longer post to the forums.

However, because there are thousands of posts every hour, we do rely on other users to point our attention to posts that appear to be in violation of our guidelines. If you see a post that is rude, insulting, bullying, or in some other way violates the posting guidelines, please click the "report post" link under the post. That brings the post to the attention of the next available moderator. If they determine a guideline has been violated, they will do anything from edit the post, to issuing a warning, to issuing a strike, or even removing the whole topic. But we rely on users to be our eyes and ears, as there are only about 15 moderators helping to keep the whole site safe.

Please know we're in complete agreement about this, and we're committed to improving the general tone of the forums every day. Just let us know in specific how we can help, by using the report post tool.

Secondly, as much as I know it shows that you care about the experience on MyFitnessPal, there is a guideline that prohibits using the public forums to air grievances about the behavior of other users of the site:

6. No Intentionally Hurtful Topics

Topics which are started with the intent to belittle others, either directly named or through enough descriptive commentary to be possibly identified, are prohibited. This includes stalking a poster through the forums, posting about past events gone sour, divulging personal information, or spreading gossip or rumors. At our discretion, any post referring to the behavior or posts of other users of the site will be removed.

We're as avid as you on the question of keeping the forums supportive and encouraging. Unfortunately, public expressions of concern about this only add to the feeling that the forums are not safe. If you can do us the great favor of clicking "report post' when users are abusive, insulting, discouraging, or in any other way violate guidelines laid out here http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines you'll really be helping us to separate the wheat from the chaff.

We recognize there are users out there who take advantage of the forums to make others feel small. We give those users three or four chances to learn the guidelines, and then they are "muted." It happens every day. Help us to help you keep the forums warm and encouraging by identifying those who can't play by the rules. We'll take it from there.

Because of the issue with guideline 6 above, I do need to lock this thread from further responses.

Regards,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff