Opinions Please-would you say anything?

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  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,426 Member
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    No, not your place. I'm sure she has a mirror and knows what she looks like. (I dont mean that in a snarky way, i seriously mean it. She has to see what everyone else sees.)

    Actually, I'm not sure about that one. I still see the fat girl in the mirror except every once in a while at the gym I'll catch myself off guard.
  • AmyLyn1983
    AmyLyn1983 Posts: 100
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    I think you should bring it up. Several years ago, I went through a very stressful time in my life and went from 135lbs to around 105lbs in a matter of 2 or 3 months. Yeah, totally unhealthy and I realize that now. I had no idea how sick I looked until yrs later, looking back at pictures of myself from that time. I wondered why no one brought it up to me that I looked so horrible. I didn't know it at the time. I sorta wish someone would have sat me down and said "Look, I don't know what's going on, but you look unhealthy". I'm just speaking from personal experience though, I'm sure others would do differently.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    A lot of the world's troubles could be eased if more people engaged a concern they had instead of saying "It's not my responsibility/business". It's obviously troubling you enough to bring it here. So if you are genuinly concerned, talk to her about it. If she's offended, you'll at least know she's not wanting help and not getting it. At that point her being offended is the least of her problems.
    First of all, thanks for all the responses. And as I expected they are across the board since I'm so conflicted too. It's truly not curiosity-it is concern. I certainly know her well enough that I could say something in a caring way and I like the idea of asking her if she's hit her goal weight yet and talking about maintenance.

    I hate that people are talking about her behind her back and honestly, but for her sister (who is an odd duck) I'm not sure that she has any close friends-sad but true. She's a hard person to get to know. I seriously hope she is O.K. but would feel awful if something happened and I hadn't said anything.

    I have some travel materials I borrowed from her (see, I do know her, we're just not close friends) so maybe I can take them by her house and talk to her then.

    Thanks for the advice.
  • nomayo
    nomayo Posts: 228
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    I wouldn't say anything, just because she is not a close friend of mine.
  • 2strapscool
    2strapscool Posts: 23
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    I wouldnt say anything for 1. she actually might be sick. for 2. she might have gotten a gastric bypass. I used to work at DMV. some people after results were AMAZING, others, not so much.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    I hate that people are talking about her behind her back

    It's awful how people are talking behind her back. :indifferent:

    They should knock it off, because it isn't nice. :indifferent:
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    This just happened to me the other day at work...cept I was the one that supposedly was sick!! Instead of that person coming up to me to share their concerns or ask me themselves...they asked a coworker about me...and that coworker asked me about it!!! If they were TRULY concerned...they would have asked me themselves...and if they were just being noisey then they needed to keep their thoughts to themselves!

    that being said...I think I would have actually preferred that the person had come straight to me to ask me themselves if I was ok.
  • DBRobinson13
    DBRobinson13 Posts: 40 Member
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    I would start by praying for her. Praying that God would put someone in her path, and that if it's you, God make that clear, so there's no doubt of your role. I will pray for her, and you!

    When I have encountered people who have lost a lot of weight I acknowledge the weight loss, and follow it up by saying, I hope you haven't been ill. That led to an interesting discussion with a woman recovering from cancer who I hadn't seen in a while. You never know...

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