I am stuck over 400 pounds after several months trying.
TNFirefly
Posts: 169 Member
I have tried diets, food addiction 12 step support groups, purging....all in the last few months. I have been watching myself get sicker and sicker and less able to function.
Yesterday I started to get some exercise with half a chair aerobics workout. Today I went to the gym and did a stationary bike for 16 minutes. It isn't comfortable because I don't fit well into the machine, but if I had hope that my shape would change I think I could keep it up. I just need some support. I am extremely depressed and I don't have insurance so I can't restart my depression med until I can start working again and get insurance. Can't start working again until I can stand/walk 8 or 12 hours (I am a nurse). I can't start working again until I get rid of some of this weight and can move. I am struggling with the weight loss because of the depression.
It is a cycle of can'ts and I can see in it a great big pitty party. I have been more functional after exercising the last two days - I have had more motivation to take care of laundry and things that need doing around the house, I have seen a difference in my attitude.
If anyone has broken out of this kind of cycle and lost large numbers I would appreciate you friending me. I am bouncing between 430 and 450 lately. I hit 429 for a day then went back up again.
The things I am doing to break out of it:
I planted some flowers out in my front garden bed that has been empty for 2 years.
I have some hanging plants which I have to go out and water if it doesn't rain - that makes me go outside.
I find a new plant every week or so that I have to go plant.
I am re-committing to doing movement of some sort 6x a week with sunday off
Every year my daughter's school has a huge fundraiser they call the Great Pumpkin 5k. I intend to walk it this year with her, so I am talking to her about 'training' with me for it.
I am making an attempt to dress better and shower and fix hair every day.
I am wearing my lace up shoes every day.
If there is something someone has read or done that has helped them, or if you just want to friend me and drop a note once in a while, I would appreciate it a ton. I am taking steps to clear the funk from my head but it is hard and my husband doesn't understand. I feel like the family has written me off. No one expects anything of me anymore because I have not been contributing much. This has to change.
Yesterday I started to get some exercise with half a chair aerobics workout. Today I went to the gym and did a stationary bike for 16 minutes. It isn't comfortable because I don't fit well into the machine, but if I had hope that my shape would change I think I could keep it up. I just need some support. I am extremely depressed and I don't have insurance so I can't restart my depression med until I can start working again and get insurance. Can't start working again until I can stand/walk 8 or 12 hours (I am a nurse). I can't start working again until I get rid of some of this weight and can move. I am struggling with the weight loss because of the depression.
It is a cycle of can'ts and I can see in it a great big pitty party. I have been more functional after exercising the last two days - I have had more motivation to take care of laundry and things that need doing around the house, I have seen a difference in my attitude.
If anyone has broken out of this kind of cycle and lost large numbers I would appreciate you friending me. I am bouncing between 430 and 450 lately. I hit 429 for a day then went back up again.
The things I am doing to break out of it:
I planted some flowers out in my front garden bed that has been empty for 2 years.
I have some hanging plants which I have to go out and water if it doesn't rain - that makes me go outside.
I find a new plant every week or so that I have to go plant.
I am re-committing to doing movement of some sort 6x a week with sunday off
Every year my daughter's school has a huge fundraiser they call the Great Pumpkin 5k. I intend to walk it this year with her, so I am talking to her about 'training' with me for it.
I am making an attempt to dress better and shower and fix hair every day.
I am wearing my lace up shoes every day.
If there is something someone has read or done that has helped them, or if you just want to friend me and drop a note once in a while, I would appreciate it a ton. I am taking steps to clear the funk from my head but it is hard and my husband doesn't understand. I feel like the family has written me off. No one expects anything of me anymore because I have not been contributing much. This has to change.
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Replies
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448
This video on youtube.com was posted by several people on here, but I watch it sometimes when I feel like throwing in the towel...0 -
Take a watch....
Also....it sounds like you are taking steps in the right direction...just don't give up.0 -
I know the feeling. I used to be 120 but then I was diagnosed with MS and gained a lot of weight. I was on steriods for 5 months and in a wheelchair for over 2 years. I started MFP 2 weeks ago. Walking my dogs, stretching every day and trying to stay under my daily calories. I have lost nearly 10 lbs.
When I told my mother I was going to do this all I got out of her was "Yeah sure you are." No support there. I have my sons and my husband that are my biggest supporters but my husband is also trying to get in shape. He's a lot smaller than me. He's about 160 lbs and I am currently at 273.
I am proud to hear that you are making this effort. A 5k walk. I am very proud of you for that. I am going to send you a friend request. Motivation and logging in daily and tracking everything I eat. Make sure to drink enough water. That helps me a lot.
Terri0 -
Have you been checked for insulin resistance? That saved my life. My Dr. put me on metformin and that and a crap ton of will power and I am just pounds away from 100 lbs lost and I feel like a whole new person.
My primary kept telling me to get gastric as I could not lose the weight. I went to see him about a month ago and the poor guy almost crapped his pants.
It can be done. The medication helped me. My friends have encouraged me and as soon as i started losing I could exercise again (bad knees) and I now am so motivated by the losses that I am on a roll that I know will take me to the end. If the exercise is too much then don't do it. I lost the first 70 lbs or so just by cutting out fast food/processed foods and weighing everything (restricted calories and carbs by Dr. helped too). You do not need to exercise but I know with me my OCD behavior went from eating excessively to now being consumed with counting every single morsel of food and kicking myself if I don't get my 10,000 steps a day. I guess I had to trade one addiction for another but this one I am liking so much better.
Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot do this. They did that to me and I proved them wrong so far. You can too.0 -
Sounds like you have some awesome idea's in place for you to start moving. Have you been logging your food too? This is such a great FREE resource! I lost 65lbs doing weight watchers a few years back and stopped because it was costing alot of money...well I gained it all back. I figure I have no excuse now, this is FREE! I have 100lbs to loose, (120 if you count in my pregnancy weight). I'm working on it, chipping away one pound at a time. Try and set small goals for yourself, that really helps. Seeing the WHOLE number that you have to loose can be over whelming and seem unrealistic. (I haven't weighed my goal weight since 9th grade!!! EEK!) Hang in there!!0
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Someone mentioned insulin. I would definately get on board with getting checked for thyroid issues or whatnot with your doctor. Some hospitals have weight loss centers. Also, being accountable to someone will definately help. One of my biggest things is I have a tendency to dive in head first to dieting (hardcore exercise and diet right out of the gate) but it looses momentum and I get too sore, too tired, too hungry, etc. You need to make sure you are doing enough right now without hurting yourself.
Have you tried aqua aerobics? I know it may not be fun to get in a bathingsuit and in the water, but that will help, too.
Make mini goals for yourself. Not a huge grand goal that seems to far off. My favorite thing for goals is to make them SMART.
S: specific
M: measureable
A: achievable
R: realistic
T: time-frame
These goals need to be made by you and specific to you. Own them. Here are examples of my goals.
Daily: log in food and exercise; get to the gym or do stuff outside of the gym.
Week: get 5 days/week at the gym; get one day in at the track
Month of May: study for my Doc Qual Exam and ace it; lose 5 lbs
Summer: lose 15 lbs; my goal at the track (make it to meets and runs with friends)
See? Now, you can do it too. OWN THEM. Post them someplace where you see them every day. Put something on your mirror in the bathroom that you have to read. Go through your house and throw out foods that aren't good for you. Make sure you exercise clothes are easily accessible. Get the gist? Good luck!
If you have any other questions, email me. I'm getting my PhD in sport and exercise psychology and am really interested in exercise adherence, weight loss, and obesity (mainly in children, but all really).
Stay with it! :happy:0 -
Have you been checked for insulin resistance? That saved my life. My Dr. put me on metformin and that and a crap ton of will power and I am just pounds away from 100 lbs lost and I feel like a whole new person.
My primary kept telling me to get gastric as I could not lose the weight. I went to see him about a month ago and the poor guy almost crapped his pants.
It can be done. The medication helped me. My friends have encouraged me and as soon as i started losing I could exercise again (bad knees) and I now am so motivated by the losses that I am on a roll that I know will take me to the end. If the exercise is too much then don't do it. I lost the first 70 lbs or so just by cutting out fast food/processed foods and weighing everything (restricted calories and carbs by Dr. helped too). You do not need to exercise but I know with me my OCD behavior went from eating excessively to now being consumed with counting every single morsel of food and kicking myself if I don't get my 10,000 steps a day. I guess I had to trade one addiction for another but this one I am liking so much better.
Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot do this. They did that to me and I proved them wrong so far. You can too.
Same here with the insulin resistance- I am on metformin and it has made a big difference in my ability to lose weight.
Do you know how many calories you are eating? You also want to make sure you are eating enough because that can stall things out sometimes.
Just wish I could give you a big hug!! Hang in there- you'll get through it!0 -
Take it one day at a time and if that's too much then take it one hour at a time, Slowly make changes to your diet, add in healthier foods a little at a time. Start walking a little but don't bite off more than you can chew. Baby steps, it is all a process. You didn't gain the weight overnight so you are not going to lose it overnight. Be patient and stick with it.0
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Do you follow Chris Powell? He is the guru for people loose large amounts of weight. One of the things he said he did in the beginning was to 'eat healthy' every other day at first. Just so you don't have to immediately go from one extreme to another. Check out his site and tell me what you think:
http://chrispowell.com/0 -
I am over 400lbs now but have lost 12lbs since starting on mfp this month. If you will accept - AND GIVE - true support, advice and opinion, and be willing to take it as well, you are MORE than welcome to add me as a friend!0
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I have been on both sides overweight underweight.Spent time in Rehab.I am now I feel on the right track.Have you tried water exercise?It is easy on your joints and you can do more for a much longer time. I will say a special prayer for you. Blessings0
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448
This video on youtube.com was posted by several people on here, but I watch it sometimes when I feel like throwing in the towel...
Wow! That video is awesome! I don't feel like throwing in the towel, but that is totally a great vid to watch.
Please don't give up on yourself though. There are SO many people on this site that have been overweight and have lost it. You can too!!! Take it one day at a time and make healthy choices. No one is perfect!0 -
First off, go see your doctor. They may not want you to do any hard exercise until you take some weight off. Are you able to walk around a park? You should start walking at first, for maybe 15 minutes a day, and gradually build up. You don't want to lose weight too quick because it could shock your body. Then again, I am not a doctor. You can't do this alone. You have a long journey ahead of you, but I feel that you will be an MFP success story.0
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I'm not any good at advice so I'll just let you know I'm cheering for you. There are a lot of knowledgable people on MFP and hopefully they can help you find the answers you need. Wishing you the best. Take care of yourself.0
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It sounds like you are definitely starting in the right direction, and major kudos to you for wanting this lifestyle change!
Some things to do: measure all your food and log it into MFP. Walk. You might only be able to go to the end of the block and back at first, but you'll start to see small improvements. Any kind of stretching would be beneficial. Find little things you can do around the house that aren't too strenuous - like changing the TV station by hand instead of using the remote! Carry each of your utensils to the sink one at a time after a meal!
I know you are without insurance, but are there any state-run medical clinics that take uninsured near you? There are usually a few around. I would try to get in to get fasting labs taken and a physical so you can get a clean bill of health for exercise.
Everyone here has great ideas. I can't wait to hear about your progress and success!!!!0 -
losing weight is tough but losing weight w depression is even harder. keep of the good work and take it one day at a time. chris powell and biggest loser have encouraged me ALOT!! check them out! also i loved what one of the ladies said "set small goals" i love MFP BUT i get discouraged alot by how much weight people loss so fast. i now have started to set little goals like "eat 1 fruit and 3 veggies a day" sounds stupid but it's my goal to keep for 2 weeks and move on to my next goal. best of luck to you!! don't give up!!0
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It sounds like you have some good ideas and plans for getting healthy and functional again. I think it's awesome that you are planning to walk a 5k with your daughter! I wish I could give you some good advice, but all I can say is just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Literally. The chair workout sounds like a great start, and being able to do some things around your house and garden. If you have access to a pool at the gym, try water aerobics or water walking--great low impact exercise until you get to a point where you can do more. There are some people on MFP who've literally lost half their size or more--I hope you can connect with some of them and get some really strong support from people who've been where you are.
I wish you the best of health and success! You CAN do this.
I also wanted to share this Youtube video--it's about a guy who went from being morbidly obese to running the Boston Marathon to raise money for his niece who has cystic fibrosis. I just found it amazingly inspiring:
http://youtu.be/Ja9BFx5Mhqo 0 -
I'm glad you are on this great site and trying to get healthy and lose weight. It is important to have goals like your child's school 5K that you need to train for. You are off to a good start if you are trying to get moving at least 6 days a week. This is a hard process, start with what you can do and build up endurance. Biking will help you if you can stick to it, otherwise go for a walk outside. Buy some free weights and try to start building up some muscle to help burn more calories.
I also looked through your food diary and noticed KFC and Burger King. Try to avoid fast food at all costs. Add more fruits and veggies to your diet, try to cut back a bit on carbs and make sure you are eating good lean proteins. Try not to get discouraged, this isn't something that will happen overnight. I'm also guessing that you see a psychologist/ psychiatrist since you are on meds, maybe talk with them about your weight struggles. Good Luck and send me a friend request if you want.
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First, welcome. You're absolutely in the right place. A lot of the previous posters have given you some great advice and resources. I'd just like to say that I'm here to support you. MFP was my start to saving my life. This is a place you can get support, be accountable, and have fun, all at the same time. SO here you go! Good luck!0
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I don't know if your experience as a nurse would work with this but a lot of insurance companies hire nurses as case manager's, reviewers etc. You might want to consider that option if you haven't yet. I don't really have any advice but I really wish you the best of luck and I think the most important part of losing the weight is that you decided to do it.0
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Its true depression can be a hard thing to overcome .As i have dealt with it for a while .A back injury has left me with weight gain over the years. And u have to have faith in yourself my friend because each and everyone one of us has something that can overcome anything .You just have to believe and its heart so send me a friend request and i well be here to support you.And to anyone else who needs it i am here we can do this .When u need some one to talk to i am here and believe in your self everything takes time0
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If you have trouble with mobility/exercise, I would suggest focusing on your diet. It is possible to lose weight without exercise. Every little bit helps. Like someone suggested, take walks and look to increase your time/distance as you go. Even doing punches in the air or lying on the bed doing flutter kicks with your legs. Anything to get your heart rate up will help to burn calories and improve your cardiovascular health. I was 332 pounds when I started, but was lucky that I didn't have any trouble with exercise. Losing weight isn't easy. You have to work at it, but it is worth it. Good luck to you.0
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I just want to wish you luck and tell you that you CAN do this. And if you stay on this site and log in every day you WILL do it.
The weight your at now, maybe you should hold off on the exercise until you've lost a little bit? Maybe just try lose by a calorie deficit at first? I don't know I don't have experience in that area.
I do suffer from depression though, and it has lifted a little bit since I've lost some weight and started getting regular exercise. I was always the type of person who thought "oh yeah, like a walk is really going to help my mental illness". But it DID.
If you stick to mfp for one week, log your food, drink some water....you'll see a loss on the scales next week, absolutely no doubt about it. And that loss could motivate you to keep on going. All the best xxx0 -
you can do this! also remember- one of the benefits of being very overweight is you burn a lot more calories w/ exercise than the average-sized person.0
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I can't really say I'd know how you feel or would have the same experiences as you, but this really touched me. Don't think about "I need to lose all this weight to be happy." but "I need to lose just 1lb to be happier than I was just 1lb ago." and then apply for the rest.
Your daughter will be the proudest, most happiest girl at the race when you join her. And she will remember it forever.
You can do this. We believe in you.0 -
Your story sounds very familar. You however are many steps at this point ahead of me when I started this journey. Obviously you have many obstacles to over come and your depression is primary. I started out at 455 on 12/31/10, that is more than you weight now. You can walk and do stuff, I could not. You have goals and a plan - I had none. I giggle and tell others that my "epiphany" moment came when I came across a nurse I could not side step and a scale that would weigh me. If you want more of a background on me, friend me - I would be glad to share this journey with you if you are serious and willing to work at least as hard as I do.
I have insulin resistant as well, but its not always necessary to take meds for it. I was diagnosed with it 15 years ago, gave up sugar and watched my carbs - never had a FBG over 120 and still managed to pack on a small horse!
My advice for what it's worth and I have been there and own the t-shirt.
Start thinking positively and appreciate yourself for realizing this is a struggle for which you have a plan and goals.
You have started, and everyone has to start somewhere - it suck weight does not come off faster, but that is life - deal with it and move on.
You are a very big woman and depending on your age - hormones are working against you - so do it now.
Wrap your mind around the fact that your life and every aspect of it has to change to fit your condition and it's cure!
Start moving and don't rely on a place, a piece of equipment, a person, a mood, a temperature - you get it?
Journel everything that goes in your mouth and make healthy eating choices EVERY TIME.
You are a nurse, you know what you have to do nutritionally.
Be accountable and realize that this is not a game - this is your life and whatever motivates you - cling to it, whatever sabatoges you, case it off.
Nuff said -0 -
If moving makes you feel better then think of it as pampering and rewarding yourself.
You will have a lot of support here! I'm going to friend you!0 -
I would definitely check with your doctor. A few of my friends have been diagnosed as insulin resistant. I think I probably am but I have no insurance and don't want to pay to go to the doctor. And then pay out of pocket for meds. Instead of going doing the bike, can you try just walking for right now. Start slow & build up. I have do not have depression & I'm not a doctor. But, on days when I am just tired of everything, going outside makes me feel so much better. And walking is good for you! And you are already doing great by just being on MFP & trying to make changes! You can do it!0
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Your story sounds very familar. You however are many steps at this point ahead of me when I started this journey. Obviously you have many obstacles to over come and your depression is primary. I started out at 455 on 12/31/10, that is more than you weight now. You can walk and do stuff, I could not. You have goals and a plan - I had none. I giggle and tell others that my "epiphany" moment came when I came across a nurse I could not side step and a scale that would weigh me. If you want more of a background on me, friend me - I would be glad to share this journey with you if you are serious and willing to work at least as hard as I do.
I have insulin resistant as well, but its not always necessary to take meds for it. I was diagnosed with it 15 years ago, gave up sugar and watched my carbs - never had a FBG over 120 and still managed to pack on a small horse!
My advice for what it's worth and I have been there and own the t-shirt.
Start thinking positively and appreciate yourself for realizing this is a struggle for which you have a plan and goals.
You have started, and everyone has to start somewhere - it suck weight does not come off faster, but that is life - deal with it and move on.
You are a very big woman and depending on your age - hormones are working against you - so do it now.
Wrap your mind around the fact that your life and every aspect of it has to change to fit your condition and it's cure!
Start moving and don't rely on a place, a piece of equipment, a person, a mood, a temperature - you get it?
Journel everything that goes in your mouth and make healthy eating choices EVERY TIME.
You are a nurse, you know what you have to do nutritionally.
Be accountable and realize that this is not a game - this is your life and whatever motivates you - cling to it, whatever sabatoges you, case it off.
Nuff said -
Well this is a fantastic inspiration for you and others also!!
And may I add what a great acheivement you have made with your weight loss...you must be so proud..I applaud you for turning your life around and hope the OP can follow in your footsteps x0 -
The first step is admitting you need help, which you have and THAT'S HUGE. Kudos to you for joining this site! Keep at it and add me if you need someone who can help push you out the door to walk. You can do this! It may take a long time to get going, but you will get going.0
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