Ever Get Any Back-Handed Compliments?

I joined roller Derby this was a huge breakthrough for me, Someone I know (who supposedly cares for me) be said that is awesome but make sure you can actually do it before you spend all the money on equipment.... I have not been back to roller derby since. I may just be over reacting, i'm not really sure but this really put out my light.

Tell them Derby girls need a little hip! You should do it, I see women of all sizes. On my own team, even. Our team goes from underweight to obese, literally! All in between. It's very accepting.

Yep sure have. From a good friends husband. He's a bit of a **** anyways so didn't pay too much attention to what he said. Sill though I was like WTF.... The 'compliment' was, "gee Eric you like Steve Jobs". He died a couple of months later.

My dad has been telling me since I was 13 that I would be so beautiful if I just got my weight down. I've lost 65 pounds and am at the same weight as my sister (133 at 5'8 for me - she's about 5'6) who has been thin her whole life and now he says I look like I could gain about ten pounds because he thinks i'm borderline anorexic. He's never said a thing about her being too small.

I've got the mother of them all.

My boss, "You are such a beautiful woman, its a shame you are so heavy or you would be beating guys off with a stick"

I told him "I am fat on purpose, it weeds out the shallow guys like you."


That was 6 years ago before I married my wonderful husband.

THIS!!!!! :drinker:

"I know that most people think you're ugly with your birthmark, but I think you're beautiful.
^^
I have a birthmark on my face (cheek) that is about the size of a quarter and is perfectly circular. So I get a lot of interesting "compliments" because of it.

I had a co-worker come by my desk and see a picture of my mom and I on my desk from 5 years ago (I was thinner then). He looked at it and said, "Wow! You used to be really skinny!"

I told him that was a very offensive comment and he quickly apologized. I found out later that he asked a friend of mine when her baby was due... she wasn't pregnant. I guess he didn't learn his lesson.

Earlier this year me and another guy were talking about eating better. I told him "I'm 245 and need to get down to 220". He said "Wow, I never would have guessed that. You carry it well. I only weigh 185. I used to be over 200 once myself." I felt like saying. "Right, and I'm 6'2" and your 5'5" which would explain the difference in goals." Anytime I tell someone I weigh over 200 lbs I get this look of shock as if they suddenly realized I was a fatty all along. "Wow, over 200? You carry it really well."

My goal weight is 220. Guess I'll still be fat then. LOL

Of a similar height here and have often been on the receiving end of the shocked look followed by the "you carry it really well" comment. I've always hated it :grumble:

While I can see someone being legitimately annoyed by some of these "compliments," there is sort of a recurring theme I'm noticing in a lot, of these posts. What I'm gathering is that if someone thinks you look better at ten, fifty, or a hundred pounds less, then they shouldn't tell you, because it's an insult.

The thinking seems to be that people should find you attractive no matter how you look? Or that everyone should have the same taste in body type. That would be nice, but...

Let's take the same "backhanded compliment" but lets replace weight with something else.

"I really like your new haircut."

What some people seem to hear is... "Your old haircut was crap."
So the sentiment of the thread is: "What? My old haircut wasn't good enough? How dare you."

Another example: " I think you look better without makeup."

Thread sentiment: "If you don't like how I look all of the time, you can just buzz off!"

*shrug* Maybe I'm just dense and don't get it.