Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED

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porcelain_me
porcelain_me Posts: 16
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.

I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!

I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.

Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.

Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?

Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
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Replies

  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I think every woman worries about this, I know I did. I have never had an ED so have no advice from that perspective, but I will say that once I had my first ultra sound and knew it was real the worry of gaining weight was so silly and miniscule to me at that point..it all went away. Your mother instincts should kick in and all you will be worried about is that baby getting enough food. Good luck!

    oh P.S. WALK a lot during your pregnancy. It will make it much easier to lose after you have the baby.
  • Rhea30
    Rhea30 Posts: 625 Member
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    Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.

    I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!

    I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.

    Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.

    Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?

    Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.

    Would it help to know that most of the weight gain isn't from fat. Most it of it is from the baby itself, the placenta etc and then 5 to 10 lbs of fat which is to help with milk production when the baby is born.
  • shoeluver67
    shoeluver67 Posts: 56 Member
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    "Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it."

    You say that now...but i believe that once you have that little being inside you, feel that heart flutter...you will never even CONSIDER doing anything that could possibly bring any harm to that little baby. as a matter of fact, just the OPPOSITE.
  • Giggle78
    Giggle78 Posts: 16 Member
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    Hello,

    I hope that this isn't too personal on a public forum but it is important that you get professional help if you are not already. Regular counselling can help you and it is good to continue this even when you do feel recovered.

    I will say at the moment you are looking at this 'from the outside'. When you are actually pregnant it is very different. There is a very strong instinct which wants to protect and nurture your child and give it the best nutrients possible. I wish you all the best.
  • AndiJoy812
    AndiJoy812 Posts: 236
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    Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.

    Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    I've never had an ED so I'm not sure I can help. First, I'd suggest getting all the way to "recovery" and stay there for a while before getting pregnant. And second, yeah, it's not all fat. There's the baby, the placenta, extra blood, etc that's about 15-20lbs. After you give birth you'll probably only have 10-20lbs of actual weight to lose. Breast feeding helps with weight loss for most women. So lastly all you have to do is convince yourself that growing a human is worth gaining a little extra weight. Stay health and fit throughout your pregnancy and you'll be fine.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    i would think you would want to get control of your ED before getting pregnant. Your focus when pregnant is on providing the best nutrition to your baby and nothing else. I cant see how you will manage that until you get yourself in a better postition.
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    YOU have to make the decision before you conceive...What is the most important to you - a baby or gaining a bit of weight that is not permanent in order to have the baby...
    Just my opinion, but if you are still purging "not much, only 2-4 times a day" YOU ARE NOT READY for the emotional strain of being pregnant, and more importantly, for accepting the responsibility for another life....
    Deal with your ED first - when there is a baby on the horizon, there is no place for the "me and my body" obsession....
  • grayprae
    grayprae Posts: 109 Member
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    I am not trying to be mean but maybe you should get a little further down your road to recovery before thinking of having a baby. I Only say this because you have to give everything to a child and there may not be enough time for yourself, I have two kids and a job and some days it is all we can do to get through the day. I think that you can do this it seems like you have come a long way already, and I know that if you are like most women you want the best for your child and that means you being and your very best.
  • tripitena
    tripitena Posts: 554 Member
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    I think BEFORE you get too far into this decision you should seek some professional help. Nope, not saying you're a nut job. Rather, some help to find out what your issues are rooted in and see what you can do to manage them. Pregnancy brings a universe of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that are tough to handle for someone without an ED, much less someone with a struggle going on already. Having your head in the best possible place before you take on the life long challenge of a child is the best thing you can do for yourself- and taking care of YOU is the first step to being a good parent.
    You have to accept the weight gain that absolutely must come with nurturing another being in your body. You want your baby to have every advantage of a healthy start and your health and nutrition are vital to his/hers. Unless you have a grip on taking care of yourself in a healthy way, it seems unlikely your body can give your child the best start he deserves.
    Your statement of "Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it." doesn't ring of a healthy start for your baby. Maybe it doesn't read with the spirit you intended, I don't know.
    Not trying to bash you At All. Just my thoughts as a retired health professional.
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
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    If you are still purging daily then you are not ready to be pregenant. If you want children you not only need to put them first you need to look after yourself so you can care for them.

    If you're not currently receiving professional help then I strongly encourage you to do so. If you become pregenant before you stop purging you will harm your baby.
  • porcelain_me
    porcelain_me Posts: 16
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    I'm currently under a wonderful team of healthcare professionals. Thank you for your comments.
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
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    http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/pdf/5573.pdf should be helpful it gives a table of expected weight gains....

    Weight Before Pregnancy Suggested Weight Gain
    Normal Weight (BMI 20–24) 25–35 pounds
    Underweight (BMI < 20) 28–40 pounds
    Overweight (BMI 25–29) 15–25 pounds
    Very Overweight (BMI > 30) ~15 pounds
  • zacksnana
    zacksnana Posts: 3,230 Member
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    My cousin felt the same way about gaining weight. Her baby made it about 7 months into the pregancy before dying. Please wait till you are completely healthy!! Please?
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    Please do NOT get pregnant until you are in full recovery from your ED. when you are pregnant, you need to eat lots of healthy food, and nourishing your baby should be your priority, NOT how much you weigh. I wish you all the best, but please complete your recovery before you take this huge step, so that you can have a healthy and HAPPY pregnancy. 25-30 pounds is healthy weight gain during pregnancy. You seem like you have some more work to do before you can accept that and be okay with it. :flowerforyou:
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    Please stay under your team's care and not conceive before they say you are ready - this little sentence below rang so many alarm bells!! You must have had a blessed life so far if NORMAL pregnancy weight gain is the most horrific thing you have ever read.... Good luck and good health....

    ""I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!""
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    With my son I gained a whopping 40lbs.
    With my daughter I gained 0lbs.

    If you continue to eat healthy, exercise regularly (with your doctors permission and guidance) and don't beat yourself up about it, you should be fine! I haven't had an eating disorder though, so I would suggest looking into help with that issue before you get pregnant. You NEED to eat a certain amount of calories and drink a certain amount of water per day to make sure your baby remains healthy.

    I made the mistake with my son not to seek help for throwing up everything I ate and I had low amniotic fluid throughout the entire pregnancy. I then overindulged after the sickness went away which is what contributed to my high weight gain. (Don't crave steak and cheesecake. It sounds good at the time, but...)
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Not that it helps you any, but I have a handful of friends, and some of the women have been in FATASTIC shape in <2 months of being pregnant. I'm talking very lean and ripped.

    You can go 3 routes,

    gain the weight and not really lose it,
    gain, then get back to a reasonable/average weight
    continue to exercise, gain and look better than ever soon after.

    It's all within your control.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
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    It's not fat. It's the placenta, the baby, etc... You'll lose 20-30 lbs after giving birth. I was at my pre pregnancy weight after giving birth both times because I ate clean during the pregnancy, for myself and the baby. Eat well and no matter how much you gain, it will come off.
  • terraskye
    terraskye Posts: 370 Member
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    I don't have an ED and never have but I can tell you that during the first half of my pregnancy I lost 30lbs..and that 30lb loss was of a very serious concern for my doctor. Weight loss like that during pregnancy has a HUGE impact on the development of your unborn child.

    I also echo others that have commented in please please be in complete recovery before you consider this, as this isn't just your life to take into consideration

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