Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED
porcelain_me
Posts: 16
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
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Replies
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I think every woman worries about this, I know I did. I have never had an ED so have no advice from that perspective, but I will say that once I had my first ultra sound and knew it was real the worry of gaining weight was so silly and miniscule to me at that point..it all went away. Your mother instincts should kick in and all you will be worried about is that baby getting enough food. Good luck!
oh P.S. WALK a lot during your pregnancy. It will make it much easier to lose after you have the baby.0 -
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
Would it help to know that most of the weight gain isn't from fat. Most it of it is from the baby itself, the placenta etc and then 5 to 10 lbs of fat which is to help with milk production when the baby is born.0 -
"Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it."
You say that now...but i believe that once you have that little being inside you, feel that heart flutter...you will never even CONSIDER doing anything that could possibly bring any harm to that little baby. as a matter of fact, just the OPPOSITE.0 -
Hello,
I hope that this isn't too personal on a public forum but it is important that you get professional help if you are not already. Regular counselling can help you and it is good to continue this even when you do feel recovered.
I will say at the moment you are looking at this 'from the outside'. When you are actually pregnant it is very different. There is a very strong instinct which wants to protect and nurture your child and give it the best nutrients possible. I wish you all the best.0 -
Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.
Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.0 -
I've never had an ED so I'm not sure I can help. First, I'd suggest getting all the way to "recovery" and stay there for a while before getting pregnant. And second, yeah, it's not all fat. There's the baby, the placenta, extra blood, etc that's about 15-20lbs. After you give birth you'll probably only have 10-20lbs of actual weight to lose. Breast feeding helps with weight loss for most women. So lastly all you have to do is convince yourself that growing a human is worth gaining a little extra weight. Stay health and fit throughout your pregnancy and you'll be fine.0
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i would think you would want to get control of your ED before getting pregnant. Your focus when pregnant is on providing the best nutrition to your baby and nothing else. I cant see how you will manage that until you get yourself in a better postition.0
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YOU have to make the decision before you conceive...What is the most important to you - a baby or gaining a bit of weight that is not permanent in order to have the baby...
Just my opinion, but if you are still purging "not much, only 2-4 times a day" YOU ARE NOT READY for the emotional strain of being pregnant, and more importantly, for accepting the responsibility for another life....
Deal with your ED first - when there is a baby on the horizon, there is no place for the "me and my body" obsession....0 -
I am not trying to be mean but maybe you should get a little further down your road to recovery before thinking of having a baby. I Only say this because you have to give everything to a child and there may not be enough time for yourself, I have two kids and a job and some days it is all we can do to get through the day. I think that you can do this it seems like you have come a long way already, and I know that if you are like most women you want the best for your child and that means you being and your very best.0
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I think BEFORE you get too far into this decision you should seek some professional help. Nope, not saying you're a nut job. Rather, some help to find out what your issues are rooted in and see what you can do to manage them. Pregnancy brings a universe of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that are tough to handle for someone without an ED, much less someone with a struggle going on already. Having your head in the best possible place before you take on the life long challenge of a child is the best thing you can do for yourself- and taking care of YOU is the first step to being a good parent.
You have to accept the weight gain that absolutely must come with nurturing another being in your body. You want your baby to have every advantage of a healthy start and your health and nutrition are vital to his/hers. Unless you have a grip on taking care of yourself in a healthy way, it seems unlikely your body can give your child the best start he deserves.
Your statement of "Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it." doesn't ring of a healthy start for your baby. Maybe it doesn't read with the spirit you intended, I don't know.
Not trying to bash you At All. Just my thoughts as a retired health professional.0 -
If you are still purging daily then you are not ready to be pregenant. If you want children you not only need to put them first you need to look after yourself so you can care for them.
If you're not currently receiving professional help then I strongly encourage you to do so. If you become pregenant before you stop purging you will harm your baby.0 -
I'm currently under a wonderful team of healthcare professionals. Thank you for your comments.0
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http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/pdf/5573.pdf should be helpful it gives a table of expected weight gains....
Weight Before Pregnancy Suggested Weight Gain
Normal Weight (BMI 20–24) 25–35 pounds
Underweight (BMI < 20) 28–40 pounds
Overweight (BMI 25–29) 15–25 pounds
Very Overweight (BMI > 30) ~15 pounds0 -
My cousin felt the same way about gaining weight. Her baby made it about 7 months into the pregancy before dying. Please wait till you are completely healthy!! Please?0
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Please do NOT get pregnant until you are in full recovery from your ED. when you are pregnant, you need to eat lots of healthy food, and nourishing your baby should be your priority, NOT how much you weigh. I wish you all the best, but please complete your recovery before you take this huge step, so that you can have a healthy and HAPPY pregnancy. 25-30 pounds is healthy weight gain during pregnancy. You seem like you have some more work to do before you can accept that and be okay with it. :flowerforyou:0
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Please stay under your team's care and not conceive before they say you are ready - this little sentence below rang so many alarm bells!! You must have had a blessed life so far if NORMAL pregnancy weight gain is the most horrific thing you have ever read.... Good luck and good health....
""I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!""0 -
With my son I gained a whopping 40lbs.
With my daughter I gained 0lbs.
If you continue to eat healthy, exercise regularly (with your doctors permission and guidance) and don't beat yourself up about it, you should be fine! I haven't had an eating disorder though, so I would suggest looking into help with that issue before you get pregnant. You NEED to eat a certain amount of calories and drink a certain amount of water per day to make sure your baby remains healthy.
I made the mistake with my son not to seek help for throwing up everything I ate and I had low amniotic fluid throughout the entire pregnancy. I then overindulged after the sickness went away which is what contributed to my high weight gain. (Don't crave steak and cheesecake. It sounds good at the time, but...)0 -
Not that it helps you any, but I have a handful of friends, and some of the women have been in FATASTIC shape in <2 months of being pregnant. I'm talking very lean and ripped.
You can go 3 routes,
gain the weight and not really lose it,
gain, then get back to a reasonable/average weight
continue to exercise, gain and look better than ever soon after.
It's all within your control.0 -
It's not fat. It's the placenta, the baby, etc... You'll lose 20-30 lbs after giving birth. I was at my pre pregnancy weight after giving birth both times because I ate clean during the pregnancy, for myself and the baby. Eat well and no matter how much you gain, it will come off.0
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I don't have an ED and never have but I can tell you that during the first half of my pregnancy I lost 30lbs..and that 30lb loss was of a very serious concern for my doctor. Weight loss like that during pregnancy has a HUGE impact on the development of your unborn child.
I also echo others that have commented in please please be in complete recovery before you consider this, as this isn't just your life to take into consideration0 -
Please give yourself more time to recover from your ED, you will in fact probably need to gain some weight even prior to becoming pregnant in order to conceive. If this sacrifice does not seem reasonable then it might be better to think of alternatives such as adoption or fostering children. Best of luck to you in your recovery.0
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Hi! I have anorexia - purging subtype and I have a 14 month old baby so I know exactly where you are!
I have suffered from an ED for about 5 or 6 years. I ended up in recovery 2 years ago, and when i got my period back, i fell pregnant unexpectedly on the second one back!
Gaining weight was one of my hugest fears. I had gained during recovery, and the thought that the number on the scale was going to go higher and higher was incredibly frightening. But, as soon as my little bump started forming, i fell in love. That baby was (and he still is!) everything to me, and food, for the first time, wasn't something evil that was making me fat but something that was sustaining my baby's life. It was hard - i stayed active and i had my really down days where i felt so fat and wanted to never leave the house - but i saw my baby's ultrasound photos, felt him move and it was easier. I gained 11kg during my pregnancy - taking me from 49kg to 60kg...
The weight does come off (especially if you can breastfeed!). Sadly, I have relapsed again, but I'm happy and proud that I managed to stay healthy during my pregnancy.
Eating disorders are a lifelong battle and you may never become "healthy". But if you're planning on having a baby, please wait until you're further into recovery. I know that if I got pregnant NOW, I'd struggle even more than i did when i was in recovery.
Best of luck, pregnancy, childbirth and parenting are not easy at the best of times, and even harder when struggling with an ED. If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to send me a message
:flowerforyou: 0 -
well, its really not a choice. you either gain the weight in return for a beautiful, healthy baby, or you don't let yourself gain any weight and most likely miscarry. Idk your stats and such, but many thin women have to actually gain weight before they physically can get pregnant or before their doctor will "allow" them, otherwise it'd be too high risk. You should try and recover before trying to carry a baby. That being said, when you're pregnant, everything changes and all that matters is that little baby inside of you, and while I don't know if an eating disorder can overcome that, the last thing you'd want would be for that little baby to come out unhealthy or (sorry if this is sounding a bit morbid) not at all
You just have to think of it as whatever you are doing to your body during pregnancy, you are ultimately doing to your baby too and the last thing you'd want would be an unhealthy baby because of your actions. That weight can all come off quickly afterwards and can be done HEALTHILY too, not b/p or restricting your calories to an unhealthy level. You just have to allow it. And I think that you can, having a baby is the most miraculous, amazing, life-changing event for a woman and you maay not feel this way now, but when you can feel another life being created in your own body, you'll do anything for it! But...you have to let go of the weight gain. Buy some super cute maternity clothes (yes, they have those!!) and put away the scale. Read up on nutrition requirements duirng pregnancy etc. Good luck!!!!! I know you can conquer this disease! 0 -
I hate when women freak out about this, I am sorry and this is nothing personal to you just a general comment to all women that are afraid of this. If you are that worried about gaining weight then you should wait to have a baby. Of course you will gain...you will have a growing human inside of you! your body will start to produce milk to feed that human once it is out....that weighs something....and the fact that the baby has to float around in "water" well that weighs something too. so yes you will "have to" gain 20-30 lbs because that is how much all of that stuff should weigh by the end of your gestational duration. you are not gaining fat! unless you are over eating and following the lead of everyone saying you are eating for two...you are not eating for two...you are eating for just you...baby will take what baby needs. as long as you eat healthy you and baby will be fine. with that said.....When I was pregnant I gained 22 lbs....I lost 29 by time I got home from the hospital after delivery. my baby was almost 9 pounds of that...so like i said as long as you eat healthy and don't over eat...you will NOT gain fat, and it will all come of after baby is here 0
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I think that you should put off all thoughts of even getting pregnant until you have fully recovered from your ED. Pregnancy can make you very emotional and cause you to do things you wouldn't normally do and potentially hurting yourself or a child inside you. Best wait until you got yourself in the right mind.0
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Please do NOT get pregnant until you are in full recovery from your ED. when you are pregnant, you need to eat lots of healthy food, and nourishing your baby should be your priority, NOT how much you weigh. I wish you all the best, but please complete your recovery before you take this huge step, so that you can have a healthy and HAPPY pregnancy. 25-30 pounds is healthy weight gain during pregnancy. You seem like you have some more work to do before you can accept that and be okay with it. :flowerforyou:
Perfect response!!
Those guidelines are set for a reason. If you don't gain enough you risk lots of complications....even PTL and low birth weight. If you are overweight to start with then you can gain less, but at a healthy weight you really need to gain a healthy amount of weight. Like others said, it's not fat anyway!0 -
You should do some research on Tracy Gold. She played Carol Seaver on Growing Pains. She had a ED and became pregnant shortly after coming out to the world about her problems.
I think she wrote a book about what was going on in her mind, and being with child.0 -
If you are "down to purging 2-4 times a day" the furthest thing from your mind should be getting pregnant and bringing a child into the world in your current condition. Please seek professional help, and if you are already, then continue with it.0
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I definitely know where your coming from. I don't have any type of eating disorder, I love my food but I think about this from time to time an I'm terrified of gaining weight as well. It's like once I get down to my goal weight I have to do this all over again? Idk, but this is a big reason why I'm not having kids for a long time. I know I'm not mentally ready for that. If I can't handle the thought of gaining weight, Im not ready to carry a child. Some people would say it's immature..!but honestly, I can't help but think that way.
I'm hoping one day If I have a child, I will be able to have a healthy pregnancy. I already know I will continue this lifestyle for the rest of my life (: I'm going to eat healthy and exercise (can't imagine not being able to run ): ). & if I lose the weight after then great, if not well... I'm sure I'll find my way back to MFP lol0 -
What most of these woman are saying is true. But i will add, i started at 116lbs, i dropped 15lbs from morning sickness and was 101 at my 17wk apt. I then GAINED 35lbs making my weight 136 the day i had her (so 20lbs from start). I walked out of the hospital at 120, only 4lbs more than i started, which melted away FAST breast feeding. Babies NEED you to eat healthy, and if you do, all the weight you gain will literally be BABY weight. If you do not think you can handle eating well for your baby, you should put off having one for now.0
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