Just need to VENT and advice?

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Replies

  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27
    I posted this elsewhere, but I think it's a sound reminder....it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, and that's essentially what we're all trying to do here (regardless of what our fitness goals are!). Be kind to yourself as you try to work your way up through those 21 days, and I swear, it'll get easier as you go along!

    Oh, and I KNOW we've all heard it before, but it didn't take overnight for those pounds to be gained, won't be overnight that they go away either! :smile:

    Oh yes, it's just that I was doing sooo well losing weight and I was so motivated, then when I'd start gaining, I just went back to old ways! I need to get a calendar and just start crossing off days to my 21 days away from my bad habits.
  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27
    You can lose weight without exercise if you can squeeze it in...They say 70% of weightloss is diet! I stopped eating processed foods and sugar ( I do eat some fruits) and I lost about 20 pounds in less then 2 months, and I only walked. I have felt so good. I'm not saying I will never have any processed foods, but I will not eat many or not often. I'm using the glycemic index to keep my blood sugar from rising.



    Good luck with your journey.

    Thank you, that is very inspiring! I think walking is one of the best exercises out there. I found something on pinterest about how good walking is for you! Good luck to you too :)
  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27

    I know my fiance knows that it is important to me to lose weight, so maybe getting him on board and letting him know what is important to me is the best solution.

    Who knows? Maybe getting him on board with your program will benefit him as well as a side effect...:wink:

    Haha that would be MARVELOUS! I did see something on Dr. Oz about the GOOD side effects of weight loss in men... Hmm :)
  • brneydgrlie
    brneydgrlie Posts: 464 Member
    Look on Craigslist and see if anyone has an exercise bike they are looking to get rid of. I got mine for about $50, and it's pretty darn quiet. Or maybe some dumbbells. Some people even give stuff away for free, just because they don't want to have to move it.

    Also, try to get out and do stuff that is community sponsored when your fiance is not home. It will help you get to know the area, and make friends safely. When we first got married, my husband went back to school and was gone most evenings. I was alone a lot, and also new to living in an unfamiliar state. I started going to stuff that was scheduled at the local library and Barnes and Noble. I met some people there that were involved in the local community arts center. That got me into taking pottery classes - and found out pottery is one of my passions. By going to the classes, I found out there was a farmers market/flea market across the street on weekends (a great place to walk - hello exercise, and shop for fresh veggies), as well as a community park that shows outdoor movies in the summertime... What I am trying to say is that each little step I took, snowballed into another thing. And each thing made it easier for me to be away from my family, and make *this place* feel more like my home.

    I have a feeling that once you are not quite so homesick, it will be easier to self-motivate. Depression wreaks havoc on both the psyche and the waistline!

    Re cooking, get your fiance involved. Put together a weekly menu using his input when you are home together. You can always start with the easier stuff, like soups, chili, or crock pot recipes. Just use fresh ingredients. Then freeze the portions. Let your fiance know that by doing this, you will not only eat healthier, but save a ton of $. Eating out is much more expensive than most people think - especially when done often.
  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27
    Look on Craigslist and see if anyone has an exercise bike they are looking to get rid of. I got mine for about $50, and it's pretty darn quiet.

    Also, try to get out and do stuff that is community sponsored when your fiance is not home. It will help you get to know the area, and make friends safely. When we first got married, my husband went back to school and was gone most evenings. I was alone a lot, and also new to living in an unfamiliar state. I started going to stuff that was scheduled at the local library and Barnes and Noble. I met some people there that were involved in the local community arts center. That got me into taking pottery classes - and found out pottery is one of my passions. By going to the classes, I found out there was a farmers market/flea market across the street on weekends (a great place to walk - hello exercise, and shop for fresh veggies), as well as a community park that shows outdoor movies in the summertime... What I am trying to say is that each little step I took, snowballed into another thing. And each thing made it easier for me to be away from my family, and make *this place* feel more like my home.

    I have a feeling that once you are not quite so homesick, it will be easier to self-motivate. Depression wreaks havoc on both the psyche and the waistline!

    Lots of very good ideas! I'll look into those :) I really want an elliptical, but I don't know if that would be loud or not!
  • 345monahan
    345monahan Posts: 5 Member
    Now that you have finished school -- congratulations -- that was an amazing accomplishment! Can you now put that focus and energy into taking care of yourself? (I know, dieting is 90% mental preparation....getting to that point where you can start the journey).

    I just celebrated 21 years of marriage and during that time I had gained 45 pounds my husband gained 50). Some from eating huge dinners for the first time in my life (like my husband always had), some because my life was so hectic that I had no time to exercise and take care of myself, and some because i made excuses for not taking care of myself. Each year, a little more was added to the pile.

    I am on the weight loss journey -- it took a health issue to get me started (ever seen one of those CPAP machines for sleep apnea. That is what inspired me. Can you find something important to you -- like getting ready for that wedding day?

    I have learned that the best way to manage those dinners is to prepare unprocessed foods at home. I always have in the freezer: steaks (portioned in 4 oz pieces), shrimp, and frozen chicken breast pieces. I make huge salads of mixed greens and bag them in the refridge so they are ready when needed. I also keep stuff I can chop into salads....and berries, apples, oranges, etc. So is I am ever hungry -- I am ready.

    Dinner includes meat (my husband gets 2 portions, I get one), salad or a veggie, and I make him a potato if he wants it. If I am home at lunch, I make a salad and thaw out some of those frozen breast pieces to toss on top.

    I do most of my exercise at home.....walking the hilliest parts of our town. I pack my Ipod Nano with exercise playlist of fast beat music that I really like. (The Nano also works as a pedometer..and I want to beat my best record)

    You have a wonderful life ahead of you....education completed and about to marry your love. Love yourself as much as you love your fiancee. When I started my weight loss is realized I needed to care for myself the way I care for my daughter. That concept really helped me.

    You can do this!
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    I really sympathise with you on so many levels I have asthma, live in an apartment and have a skinny boyfriend who is active so seems to be able to eat whatever he wants). My thoughts...

    1. It's a bit worrying that you think your asthma might stop you from doing some exercises when you are so young. I know I'm probably preaching to the converted, but getting your asthma under control is so important and not just for when you are exercising. Check with your doctor/nurse whether there are other options (increased dosages, different meds etc). I was struggling last year, having been on a reliever inhaler (Ventolin) since I was a child. I went for a full check-up, reversibility test (to check lung function) and now also use a steroid preventative inhaler and a tablet to prevent nasal drip (yukky, but has really helped!). I just make sure I have two puffs on the Ventolin 15 minutes before starting exercise and then use it as much as needed throughout. Lots of top athletes have asthma, including David Beckham, and exercise will really help.

    2. I love the Jillian Michaels DVD 30 Day Shred (search for it on these forums and you will see why!). It's 25 minutes long, you just need two hand weights (tins of beans are fine when you start) and you don't need much space at all to do it. Admittedly you have to do jumping jacks, which is noisy for neighbours below. When my neighbour isn't in, I do the jumping jacks as noisily as I like! When he is in, I just jog on the spot. Up to now he hasn't complained - I just make sure it is during reasonable hours. You could even knock on your neighbour's door to let them know if they hear any noise that you don't mind them telling you.

    3. When I met my boyfriend I not only gained an amazing partner... but I also gained an amazing amount of weight! When he's not here I'm really good and when he's here I eat like a horse! My tactic? Make up big batches of food to freeze and refrigerate at the weekends or one evening a week. The fastest fast food is food that goes in the microwave and is ready in five minutes! Make sure you have a smaller portion than him (fill up the rest of your plate with salad and extra veg) and hunt the internet for simple recipes of lower calorie versions of food that you both like. It's also good for your budget as buying in bulk will save you money.

    And finally... any time it gets too much or you need to have a shout, come on to MFP! And get yourself a good group of friends on here - MFP friends are worth their weight in gold!
  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27
    Now that you have finished school -- congratulations -- that was an amazing accomplishment! Can you now put that focus and energy into taking care of yourself? (I know, dieting is 90% mental preparation....getting to that point where you can start the journey).

    I just celebrated 21 years of marriage and during that time I had gained 45 pounds my husband gained 50). Some from eating huge dinners for the first time in my life (like my husband always had), some because my life was so hectic that I had no time to exercise and take care of myself, and some because i made excuses for not taking care of myself. Each year, a little more was added to the pile.

    I am on the weight loss journey -- it took a health issue to get me started (ever seen one of those CPAP machines for sleep apnea. That is what inspired me. Can you find something important to you -- like getting ready for that wedding day?

    I have learned that the best way to manage those dinners is to prepare unprocessed foods at home. I always have in the freezer: steaks (portioned in 4 oz pieces), shrimp, and frozen chicken breast pieces. I make huge salads of mixed greens and bag them in the refridge so they are ready when needed. I also keep stuff I can chop into salads....and berries, apples, oranges, etc. So is I am ever hungry -- I am ready.

    Dinner includes meat (my husband gets 2 portions, I get one), salad or a veggie, and I make him a potato if he wants it. If I am home at lunch, I make a salad and thaw out some of those frozen breast pieces to toss on top.

    I do most of my exercise at home.....walking the hilliest parts of our town. I pack my Ipod Nano with exercise playlist of fast beat music that I really like. (The Nano also works as a pedometer..and I want to beat my best record)

    You have a wonderful life ahead of you....education completed and about to marry your love. Love yourself as much as you love your fiancee. When I started my weight loss is realized I needed to care for myself the way I care for my daughter. That concept really helped me.

    You can do this!

    Thank you for all of the advice! Yes, I do know what a CPAP is because my dad is a respiratory therapist, so I know how incredibly difficult it is to get your life back together when a doctor prescribes one! Kudos to you, though, CPAPs are no fun. Do you have an app on your nano that allows you to use it as a pedometer? I have an iphone so I'm wondering if there is a similar app!
  • jjh5351
    jjh5351 Posts: 27
    I really sympathise with you on so many levels I have asthma, live in an apartment and have a skinny boyfriend who is active so seems to be able to eat whatever he wants). My thoughts...

    1. It's a bit worrying that you think your asthma might stop you from doing some exercises when you are so young. I know I'm probably preaching to the converted, but getting your asthma under control is so important and not just for when you are exercising. Check with your doctor/nurse whether there are other options (increased dosages, different meds etc). I was struggling last year, having been on a reliever inhaler (Ventolin) since I was a child. I went for a full check-up, reversibility test (to check lung function) and now also use a steroid preventative inhaler and a tablet to prevent nasal drip (yukky, but has really helped!). I just make sure I have two puffs on the Ventolin 15 minutes before starting exercise and then use it as much as needed throughout. Lots of top athletes have asthma, including David Beckham, and exercise will really help.

    2. I love the Jillian Michaels DVD 30 Day Shred (search for it on these forums and you will see why!). It's 25 minutes long, you just need two hand weights (tins of beans are fine when you start) and you don't need much space at all to do it. Admittedly you have to do jumping jacks, which is noisy for neighbours below. When my neighbour isn't in, I do the jumping jacks as noisily as I like! When he is in, I just jog on the spot. Up to now he hasn't complained - I just make sure it is during reasonable hours. You could even knock on your neighbour's door to let them know if they hear any noise that you don't mind them telling you.

    3. When I met my boyfriend I not only gained an amazing partner... but I also gained an amazing amount of weight! When he's not here I'm really good and when he's here I eat like a horse! My tactic? Make up big batches of food to freeze and refrigerate at the weekends or one evening a week. The fastest fast food is food that goes in the microwave and is ready in five minutes! Make sure you have a smaller portion than him (fill up the rest of your plate with salad and extra veg) and hunt the internet for simple recipes of lower calorie versions of food that you both like. It's also good for your budget as buying in bulk will save you money.

    And finally... any time it gets too much or you need to have a shout, come on to MFP! And get yourself a good group of friends on here - MFP friends are worth their weight in gold!

    My asthma is actually allergy aggravated, so I can do indoor exercises without a problem for the most part, but since it's only seasonal I don't want to start on steroids (neither does my doctor) or anything like that. Once I join the Y I could maybe do C25K but honestly- I don't see much point in running. Walking has almost, if not, all of the benefits that running does without the joint pain, I'm not too worried about "not being able to do anything" because I think that exercise is something quite personal to the person who is doing it! That being said- Jillian Michaels and I have been friends for awhile, if you can call it "friends". Haha! I have ripped in 30 (do NOT recommend that before doing 30DS!) and 30DS and I love/hate them both! I'm going on vacation in a little over a week so I probably won't be starting those soon, but I would love to start doing them after! Did you lose pounds doing 30DS? I mostly lost inches doing it last time, which was a little frustrating, but I know that I was building lean muscle!
  • bergin71
    bergin71 Posts: 1
    I have had good luck with elastic band resistance workouts. They don't take up any space, are inexpensive and are better for your joints than using free weights. Here is a link to the company I bought mine from: http://www.bodylastics.com/

    Good Luck!
  • pat6250
    pat6250 Posts: 90
    I find that if I plan ahead, it helps. I save some calories for snack time, I keep good snacks around, ready to go for those times (like pre- washed and cut vegetables with hummus). Talk to your fiance, and tell him you are trying to lose weight for the wedding, and that if he watnts to eat junk, that is okay with you, but please not to expect you to eat it also. My husband used to eat entire bags of chips for a snack, and I found that if I found something to do in another room, I could resist the chips. Point out that if you make yourself scarce when he is eating snacks, it is not to avoid HIM, but rather to avoid the temptation of the snacks. Someone said to try to get him to eat healthy with you. Sadly, guys often do not see a connection between what they eat and good health, and if you want to change his habits, telling him what to eat will not go over. I made small changes to my hubby's diet over the years, by cooking healthy meals and GRADUALLY putting in less fat, salt, more vegetables, less red meat, and so on. Today, he has his blood pressure and diabetes under control, he is much healthier than his siblings, and he is grateful for my caring enough to keep him healthy. Guys don't get that until they are older, and the doctor tells them that there is a problem. You can only do what is good for you, and if you do it without making him feel guilty for enjoying his crap, he will be very happy. Be ready to feed him good things when he is ready, and tell him you are trying to keep him around for a LONG time, he will appreciate that. Perhaps he eats junk because it is fast, and easy to get. If you had healthy stuff ready when he is hungry, would he eat it? Worth looking into. But do what you need to do for yourself with a lazer like determination. Envision yourself looking beautiful in your wedding dress. Believe it, and achieve it. Good luck.:flowerforyou:
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    I got rid of cable TV. I had the same issue with school so I did what I did before when I was in great shape. I told my expensive cable company to kiss off and low and behold I found motivation and all this extra time I thought I never had before.
  • wwoelbel
    wwoelbel Posts: 23
    Hi there,
    I'll not comment on your situation as there already seems to be alot of input in that area. What I'll share with you is two things that are helping me quite a bit.

    1) Join a gym or something similar. I joined the rec center at the local college. For me, a creature of habit, location is significant. Gym is where we suffer and sweat. Once at the gym, there is no distraction or excuses. We suffer and sweat and then feel tired but good.

    2) Leave no food in the house that could be gorged on. While I feel that the only food worth eating is delicious food, Having lots of yummy foods that are already prepared is like leaving an open can of tuna on the counter and expecting the cat not to notice while you shower.... Delicious food has a cost in terms of preparation time and you must never make more than one meal at a time.

    Of course, these work for me and may not be worth a hill of beans for you.

    Bill
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
    just a bunch of thoughts, excuse if they're a bit scrambled...

    when i first decided to do the south beach diet, my hubby (who initially suggested it) got all hung up on which foods we could eat and couldn't, he cheated and was very frustrated, actually developed a real temper.
    this time around, i just told him he should eat what he wants, and i will just not eat any carbs (essentially the same thing, but way less to think about). he's joined me of his own accord and it's working great so far. (ok, one week and counting).

    anyhow, do what is right for you. if you want to save calories in the daytime, so you can join him eating at night, go ahead. if you want to maintain daytime eating so you won't be hungry at night - viable strategy too. if you want to get your head on straight and just watch portion size, works too.

    i found that just making myself aware of whether i am eating because i am hungry, or because the food is there, makes a big difference. - figures i have a bad case of 'kibble envy', and will eat just so others can't have it before i do.

    i also agree, if a meal is ready when he gets home, he will be less likely to want to go out. which gives you more control (that's the way to look at it if you're a die hard feminist who frowns on having a meal ready when the husband gets home :wink:). if his hours are arbitrary, just have him call when he leaves work, so you have an estimate of when he'll be back.

    we discovered a local deli that does great soups, so now we have a good lunch, but for dinner just a soup. that leaves ample room for snacking if we feel like it. - you could switch that around if your main meal is dinner...

    oh, and watch those protein shakes, they can pack a lot of calories, and if he's wanting to lose weight, that can bite him in the butt, if he doesn't exercise to compensate...
  • Piercey_24
    Piercey_24 Posts: 40 Member
    i didnt read all the reply's on here so i apologize if i repeat what some one has said already... one idea is that if he is hungry and doesnt wanna do anything after work make dinner so its ready or close to ready when he gets home. or make things nights before that you can freeze and re heat, pasta, soup and casseroles is a good one to make and freeze and package in 1 or 2 person porportions. i live in an apt and i too worry about what ppl think of the noise we have a work out area but its always so full and packed. i do sit ups push ups and in my garage i have done insanity ( before i was pregnant ) the garage is a great place to work out if you have one, if not do the stairs a few times, if u go shopping only take one bag up at a time so u make lots of trips and u dont look silly going up and down them all day long, i also walk around our complex, i am lucky tho its about a half mile trip around it. i hope i helped at least a little bit!!
    ash

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